Work Text:
Asuka tossed and turned in bed, struggling to figure out the perfect position for sleeping. He'd tried sleeping on his back, side, stomach, and even hugging his pillow tightly. Of course, it wasn't actually his position keeping him awake. Instead, his thoughts kept drifting to when he was only twenty-something years old. Back when he had only two friends—two more friends than he had now. His times spent with Frederick and Aria were over a century ago now, but his memory of them had barely degraded over the years. He missed studying with them. He missed listening to music with them. He missed musing with them late at night. He missed them a lot.
At this point, he'd given up on sleeping. Asuka got out of bed, slipped his slippers on, and padded out of his room. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well do something productive, The Gear Maker thought as he turned the fluorescent lights on in his lab. He had to take a moment to close his eyes and get used to how bright his lab was. Asuka sat at his desk, looking at Gear cells under a microscope. He wanted to figure out how to restore half-Gear's humanity, if they so desired it. He was stumped, however. With a sigh, he attempted to stretch his shoulders. He clumsily slammed both of his arms against the underside of his desk, causing a poorly-placed (thankfully empty) beaker to crash to the floor, which resulted in him flinching and slamming his poor arms against the desk yet again. Asuka had to take a long moment for his heart rate to return to normal.
As soon as Asuka's heart stopped beating out of his chest, the door to the lab opened, causing him to spin his chair towards the noise. It was none other than Asuka R♯, who looked like he'd just woken up. Asuka winced as their eyes met. Despite R♯ being his own creation, he was often lectured by the (somehow) more stable man.
"Pray tell, Asuka, why are you awake at 3 in the morning?" his clone asked sternly.
Asuka looked down at his bunny slippers. "…I couldn't sleep,"
R♯ sighed, walking towards Asuka and cupped his chin, making him look up at him. "That doesn't mean you should overwork yourself. Come on," he began to walk away, motioning for his original to follow. Asuka hastily stood up and followed, flicking the lights off as he left the lab.
He followed Asuka R♯ into the hall where a couple out of the 400-something rooms in Tír na nÓg were. Across from his own room was his clone's room. R♯ sauntered into his room, and Asuka followed after him until they reached the bedroom.
"We haven't had a sleepover in a while, huh..?"
Asuka was unfortunately more dependent on others than he'd like. When he couldn't sleep, he needed another person's company, and the only other person in the large space base was his clone. It was awfully embarrassing how much it helped him.
"We haven't," R♯ replied simply as he got into bed. He patted the empty space next to him and Asuka shortly followed.
Asuka let out a content sigh as he was enveloped by his clones arms. This was exactly what he needed to distract himself from his past. Asuka buried his face into R♯'s neck and clutched his t-shirt.
"Is there a reason why you couldn't sleep..?" R♯ asked, clearly worried for the other man.
"Thinking too hard…Again," Asuka muttered into his copy's chest, "I'm sure you can guess what I was thinking about."
R♯ rubbed Asuka's back through his nightgown. As much as he liked to criticize his original for all of his mistakes, he truly did sympathize with him. It was hard not to when he shared all of his memories.
"I see,"
"I wish I could reverse everything. I don't want to be the most feared man ever,"
"That's not possible, Asuka. And even if it were, I wouldn't let you do such a thing. You need to suffer the consequences of being an asshole, to put it very lightly," R♯ responded. Despite his harsh words, he hugged Asuka tighter and rested his head atop the Gear Maker's. "What makes you think you wouldn't repeat the same mistakes even if you kept all of your memories from this life? I know you—I am you. You'll try to save Aria again, and all of her and Frederick's trust will go down the drain again."
Asuka sniffled in response, "…You're right. I am selfish, aren't I?"
"Good, you got my point."
"I want to change, but I don't know if I am capable of it," Asuka's voice wavered as he spoke.
"I don't think you need to quit being selfish. It's a key part of you—I'm selfish, after all—you just need to understand that you can't play God anymore. And don't try to argue that you don't anymore, because I'm proof that you do."
"…I wasn't going to say that."
"Ah. Sorry, then."
"…I think you're right though. I just don't know how to change. I've never changed,"
R♯ hummed, "Truthfully, I don't either. I'm only a few months old, and everything is still…confusing. Perhaps we can figure it out together?"
"I like that idea…" Asuka whispered as he wrapped his arms around his clone.
"Let's go to bed now, it's late."
Asuka groaned into R♯'s chest in response, snuggling closer to him. In response, his clone lightly pecked his forehead and closed his eyes. After a few moments, the two fell asleep peacefully.
