Chapter Text
Yujin zoned out for the 4th time that period, tired from last night’s dance practice. The teacher was going on about some math formula but he couldn’t focus. He looked around at his classmates, some focused and some goofing sound with their friends. It was a normal day.
School was never much of a problem for Yujin. Even though the homework and people could be a bit much sometimes, especially for an idol, he managed. But lately, his schedule has gotten busier because of the new comeback. More vocal and dance practices, it was a lot. His hyungs had told him to take a break when they noticed he was more tired than usual, but he didn’t want to. How could he take a break when everyone was working just as hard?
Lost in thought, he jolted when the bell rang for lunch. Students ran out of the room to find their friends. Yujin was known throughout the school since he was a K-pop idol, but he didn’t have a lot of friends. He’s pretty introverted as it is and the fact that people only wanted to befriend him because he’s famous made him stay to himself. Most of his friends were made before Boy’s Planet.
He got his bag and went out to find Leokim and Tae, his friends from middle school. They always met up at the lockers near the stairway to the rooftop, so he rushed there as usual. The halls were empty as he passed through. It was quiet, but Yujin had started to hear footsteps behind him. He turned around, and was met with two familiar faces. Kim Jookyung and Kang Bosuk. They were two delinquents a year above him. They’ve been taunting him about being a part of Zerobaseone ever since he debuted. But through all the teasing, he’s never had an actual conversation with them. Not until now.
“Hey Yujin! I heard that your group’s been getting pretty famous nowadays. How’d you do it? Did your company pay for your fame?” mocked Jookyung as Bosuk snickered. Yujin didn’t know where this was going, but he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be good. Pay for fame? Surely his company wouldn't go that low. Right? He’d never liked confrontation and wanted to get away as soon as possible.
“No Jookyung, they didn’t. What do you want from me?” Yujin said, not wanting to continue this conversation.
“Woah now. We just wanted to have a little talk with you, that’s all. No need to get defensive,” said Bosuk as he put his hands up in defense. “Don’t think you can talk to us like that, just because you miraculously got into some lousy group with trashy music, kid.”
Yujin didn’t think he was better than them, he just really wanted to know what they wanted and be on his way. He was getting a bit nervous and didn’t want to keep his friends waiting.
“I’m sorry but I have to go,” Yujin hastily said as he turned his back to them and started to walk away after a few seconds of waiting. Before he could go far, one of them roughly grabbed him and spun him around. Yujin looked at both of them in both shock and fear, and tried to yank his arm back but Jookyung was stronger.
“We weren’t done talking to you, Yujin,” Jookyung menaced as he tightened his grip on Yujin’s wrist. “Show your seniors some respect you fucking bastard.”
If Yujin was scared before, he is absolutely petrified now. His body tensed up and started to tremble. “Please let go…,” he pleaded in a weakened and small voice.
“What? What did you say? Say it again, I couldn’t hear you.”
“Let me go now…or…or I’ll tell the teachers,” Yujin quietly threatened, soon regretting his words. Bosuk went and grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his head up. Yujin winced in pain.
“What the fuck did you just say? Don’t fucking think you have the right to threaten us just because you’re a shitty idol. You know damn well-”
“Yujin-ah! Where are you!” Leokim’s voice echoed through the halls as well as footsteps. Both Jookyung and Bosuk stopped for a second and bolted away. As soon as he was let go, Yujin’s body relaxed. He was relieved, but still scared from the encounter. He turned around and headed towards the source of the noise and soon met with Leokim and Tae. “Where were you! Me and Tae waited for like 5 minutes!”
“Sorry, I was…held back by my teacher,” Yujin didn’t want to tell them about what had just happened as it would be troublesome. They gave him suspicious looks but thankfully didn’t ask any further. The three of them headed out to go get lunch.
—
Yujin thanked his manager for the ride and got out of the car to get to their dorms. He had just finished his afterschool tutoring session since he needed help with some work(he never got enough time to study). As he unlocked their dorm door, his mind went back to what Jookyung said. He didn’t think he was better than his schoolmates. He didn’t know why they thought that. Should I tell my hyungs? He wanted it to get off his chest. No, they’re already stressed about the comeback. He went inside and greeted his hyungs who were scattered around the main area. Gyuvin and Ricky were in the kitchen making food, and Jiwoong, Hanbin, and Hao were looking at some papers. The others were nowhere to be found, but they were probably in their rooms.
They all greeted him back, less enthusiastic than usual. They must be really tired.
“Oh Yujin-ah, we have a dance practice in 30 minutes and vocal after. Go get ready,” informed Jiwoong-hyung. He nodded and quickly headed towards his room. He flopped down on his bed and closed his eyes, not having any energy in him to keep them open. All he wanted to do right now was take a nap to make up for all the sleepless nights he had, but life just doesn’t do what you want it to. After a few minutes, he reluctantly got up and changed his clothes. He opted for a simple black t-shirt and gray sweatpants.
“Yujin, move your hand higher”
“More energy Yujin”
“Go lower, Yujin”
“Alright everyone take a break. We’ll continue in 5’. Yujin, come here” Everyone was so relieved with the break that no one noticed that the coach had asked for Yujin. He sighed and went up to her. “You’re really slacking today Yujin. You’ve never struggled with this part. I need you to get your act together unless you want to bring the others down. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
He mentally flinched at her words and shook his head. He was bringing his hyungs down? The coach dismissed him and he went towards the others to go get water. He knew she was right though. His body felt sluggish, and his dancing wasn’t as good as before. His body felt hotter than usual, and the sleep deprivation did not help. He felt bad for dragging his members down when they were working just as hard, if not harder than him.
After the dance practice was done, they headed for vocal practice, which wasn't any easier. He couldn’t reach the notes he used to be able to. His vocal teacher had scolded him in front of his hyungs, making him even more ashamed. He was forced to stay after to continue practicing. His hyungs usually intervened when something like this happened with any of the members, but they all just went with it today. He didn’t show it, but he silently wished that they had stood up for him. Why would they stand up for you? All you’re doing is dragging them down. You’re a burden. Burden, burden, burden.
Those words echoed in his mind as he continued practicing. An hour or so passed before his coach sent him back, telling him to practice more so that this didn’t happen again. He hadn’t had dinner yet and had hoped the members saved some food for him. When he entered the dorms, he was disappointed with an empty fridge. Maybe this was good, he could lose some weight before the comeback. This was a lie, as he knew he was already in good shape, but he wanted to reassure himself.
Everyone was already asleep so he tiptoed to his room and quietly shut the door. He still had homework that he needed to do, so he reluctantly pulled out his books and got to work. There was also an exam coming up that he needed to study for, so he was gonna have to stay up for longer.
After 2 hours of homework and studying, he was finally getting ready for bed. He went to brush his teeth and did his skincare, careful to not make too much noise. When he was done, he slumped down on his bed and got his 5 hours of sleep.
It’s been a few days since the incident that had happened with Jookyung and Bosuk, and they haven’t tried to approach him. He was glad, maybe they’d forgotten about it. School was tiring as usual, and the upcoming shoots and interviews didn’t help either.
Yujin was standing in front of the school gates, waiting for his manager to pick him up. It was cold, and he was slightly shaking as another gust of wind passed by. It’s been 15 minutes and almost everyone went home now, but no one was there to pick him up. He called his manager but was left with a voicemail. Desperate to get home, he called Hanbin hyung. After a few rings, he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi hyung, manager-nim isn’t answering his phone so can you come and pick me up-“
“I’m sorry Yujin-ah, but hyung is really busy right now. Can you walk home by yourself?”
“Oh.. yes I can, hyung. Sorry for bothering you.”
“It’s ok. Be safe, ok? Bye aegi.”
Yujin sighed in disappointment as Hanbin hung up. He thought about calling his other members, but it was likely they were busy as well. Their dorm was about 20 minutes away from his school. He just wanted to go back to the school where it was warm, but he couldn’t. It didn’t help that the way back was rather vacant, leaving an unsettling feeling. He started his walk back to the dorms, shivering against the wind. It had been about 3 minutes when he heard a familiar voice.
“Hey Han Yujin!”
Yujin froze. It was Bosuk. He didn’t want to talk with him and Jookyung, so he continued walking, quickening his pace. His breathing quickened, and his body broke into cold sweat when he heard their footsteps getting closer.
“HEY! We're talking to you!”
He could hear them running after him which made him run as well. The chase went on not for long before they eventually caught up to him. One of them grabbed his backpack and pulled him back. Yujin felt fear crawl up his skin as he couldn’t budge out of Bosuk’s grip. He tried to yank his arm away but that made Bosuk tighten his grip even harder. He then proceeded to grab his other arm to restrain him completely.
“Why were you running away? You know we only wanted to chat with you.” Jookyung’s words were filled with a nasty tone. Jookyung now stood in front of him, with Bosuk restraining him from behind. Yujin turned his head to the side, avoiding eye contact. He felt as if his body were on fire, engulfing him in flames. That would probably be better than what was happening now. Jookyung grabbed Yujin’s face as he tried to resist.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you, dammit,” scowled Jookyung, “Don’t fucking act as if you’re better than the rest of us because you’re a little K-pop idol. You can’t even dance or sing for shit.”
Yujin knew better than to let their words get the best of him, but the last sentence really hit close to home.
Was it true? He knew that they were trying to mess with him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if that was the truth. He’d messed up a lot at practice yesterday. He’s always been insecure about being less talented than his members, but didn’t want to let the insecurities affect his relationship with them.
Yujin didn’t have it in him to say something back, either as a plea or comeback so he stayed quiet. A few moments passed by, and the two of them were starting to get a bit frustrated with his silence.
“Well, if you wanna stay quiet then fine. We can move onto the next matter,” Jookyung said as he took off his backpack and took something out. A razor blade. Yujin’s breath hitched as his body broke into cold sweat. “Let’s see how you can perform with cuts on your perfect idol body,” said Jookyung as he held the blade up, “Hey, take off his top.”
Bosuk turned Yujin around and roughly dragged him down to the ground. He then started to take off Yujin’s backpack and jacket as well as unbuttoning his uniform. Yujin thrashed around, trying to pry Bosuk’s hand off of him but his body did not cooperate. Soon his upper body was bare against the cold air. He was in tears by now, begging for those two to have a little mercy. They ignored his pleas.
Jookyung got on top of him and brought the blade to his arm. He pressed it down, breaking a layer of skin and soon blood was oozing out. He dragged the blade down and cruelly grinned in satisfaction. Yujin had his eyes closed shut, scared to see what was happening. The pain wasn’t too unbearable, but it did sting. Jookyung had made more cuts on his skin, and he was finally starting to feel the pain. Yujin was trying his hardest to get Jookyung off of him, but he was too weak. He swears he sees a camera recording him.
Once they were done, they ran away, leaving a bloody Yujin on the ground. After a few minutes of laying on the cold and hard concrete, he got and examined his body. There were about a dozen cuts on his body, all lined with dried and smeared blood. He was in pain, from both the cuts and the feverish weight on his body. He put his clothes back on, grateful for the warmth it provided. Slowly getting up, Yujin realized it was getting darker now. He should hurry and get home. He wiped off his tears, and started on his way home. He tried to call his hyungs and manager, but was left with voicemails. They must’ve been really busy. He shouldn’t bother them.
The walk was much longer than 20 minutes, with his injuries and the cold air, but he made it back to the dorms. When he walked in, he noticed that everyone seemed to be occupied with something. He needed to tell someone what had just happened. He decided to tell Hanbin, as he was the leader. He headed towards the dining table where Hanbin was doing something on his computer. His body was still hurting a lot.
“Um.. hyung? When I was walking home from schoo-”
“Not now Yujin-ah, I have some work to look over.”
“But it’s really importa-”
“Yujin! I said not now!”
Yujin was taken aback by Hanbin’s shout. He quickly apologized. “Oh… I’m sorry, hyung.”
Yujin darted away, defeated. Look at what you did. You made Hanbin hyung mad. This is all your fault.Yujin felt tears in his eyes. A familiar feeling came back to him. He felt like a burden again. He’d always been insecure about being a maknae because he felt like the members were always taking care of him. Now he felt ten times worse, being part of the stress that they had to deal with.