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Mizuki stared at the reflection in front of her, loathing the stranger looking back at her. The mirror was shattered long ago, no matter what, she really can't see herself properly in it, can she? She covered it in a long cloth in the past, a pathetic method used to hide herself. She removed it after transitioning to style herself in front of the mirror. And now, it's broken.
The cracks on the mirror spread out like wildfire, yet she can still see the reflection of her other self, the other half she tried so hard to erase. That's why, only a blindfold works, a blindfold that can cover up her sight from the disgusting being of herself, a blindfold that can cover her visions whenever she notices others looking at her weirdly even though she tries to act like it doesn't matter.
A part of her wondered.
What did Ena see when she realised Mizuki’s secret? Did she see Mizuki’s other self? Did she see Mizuki’s desperate hands to change and cover up herself? Did she think that Mizuki is weird? Or did she think that Mizuki had been hiding this secret for so long that she didn't trust her enough to tell her?
On that day, her surprised face was still buried deep in her mind. It was completely different when the determined Ena told her she would wait forever compared to when she found out what Mizuki was hiding.
The sharp pain rose up again in her chest, she can feel the intestine in her stomach colliding, the guilt hitting her intensely. Whenever she thinks about it, about Ena, the nauseating feelings will still be back.
Nightcord is gone, her only comfort place is gone, Ena is gone, the sun that shines on her is gone.
Ah.. if only she can disappear forever.
Maybe she doesn't have to bear this pain for so long, maybe Kanade and the others shouldn't have known. Ena is full of colours, if she is seen hanging out with someone unsightly like Mizuki, others will have a bad view of them, and it's all Mizuki’s fault.
Maybe if they never met, if Mizuki never leaned in onto Ena’s light, everything would be different.
That's the only way Mizuki knows how to escape after all, through deceives and guilt. Somehow, Ena always looks past every bit of Mizuki's defence. Ena really is dangerous.
…
“Mizuki!"
H-Huh? A familiar voice came through the eerie room, the mannequins falling down with a loud metal clang on the floor, the thorns being stepped on without a second thought nor fright, only the desperate attempt to reach the person that's been hiding in the dark for way too long.
Mizuki listened, she didn't need to think twice. That's Ena alright. How did she get in here in the first place? No, why is she still looking for her? The first thing Mizuki does is run. Every living part of her, every system she has is telling her to run, run far away and never look back.
Please don't look at me. I'm dirty, I'm full of filth. You will be dirtied too.
Ena doesn't deserve this, she doesn't need someone as freaked as Mizuki in her life. Ena is way too.. precious. She is a miracle, she is light. If she stays with Mizuki, she will get hurt.
…
Seriously, this idiot! What is she thinking about, still running away like that? Didn't I make it clear that I want Mizuki to stay?!
Ena faltered when she saw Mizuki desperately running away, far from her. She clenched her fists tight. Doesn't she know how badly it hurts? To have someone you love so dearly running away from you? Mizuki is stupid, an incredibly stupid idiot..
But, Mizuki is her idiot.
“Stop..!” Ena yelled, one more time, a vain attempt to reach out to Mizuki once more.
Suddenly, the two appeared in front of each other. The once horrible, shattered, hollow room switched so drastically, to the cherry blossoms. Spring; a meaning of rebirth, renewal, the start of a new beginning and growth.
The hell? Ena blinked, losing her footing at the sudden change, she let out a yelp, falling down into a pair of arms. This is crazy, absolutely absurd. Have I missed Mizuki so much that I changed the whole room?
But, all those thoughts seem to fly away when Ena looks up at the person she's been chasing.
“..Mizuki!” Ena reached in with both of her hands, squeezing Mizuki tightly. She felt Mizuki freezing up underneath, the two losing their balance and falling down onto the grass.
Mizuki let out a pained sound when her back hit the ground, her guilty pleasure is right in front of her, wrapping her around so tightly that it hurts..
What even happened? Mizuki was running away, ran so far that her feet were sore.. only to be brought back to the start. It's warm.. so damn warm in Ena's embrace. Is this what heaven feels like? No, does Mizuki even get the chance to be in heaven because of her “sin”?
She felt the warm pairs of hands cup her face tight, the smell of cherry blossoms entering her nostrils. She used to despise this scent, her middle school self looming over in her mind. Cherry blossoms were ruined for Mizuki, it was when she's heading to school, hearing the other peers talking about her again. She saw a cherry blossom tree that day, a hollow anger filled her, new beginnings my ass, it's been the same ever since. However, ever since seeing the cherry blossoms with Nightcord, with the people she loves, it left a deep impact on Mizuki.
She felt Ena touching her, checking her back, her sharp yet tender voice warming Mizuki's heart to the brink.
“Hey! Don't just sit there and say nothing! Did you get hurt? There were so many thorns and sharp pieces on the ground! How can you not care about yourself?”
And now, Ena is full of the cherry blossoms. Ena is checking her wounds after they both fell, scolding her gently for running away, giving Mizuki everything even though Mizuki has nothing left.
Ena is kind.. way too kind.
“H-Hey.. You're crying?! Here, let me..” Her words trail off as she removes Mizuki’s tear stained blindfold.
Mizuki blinked, her vision blurry as she tried to blink the tears away to see Ena, to see her light one last time. She took in the surroundings, seeing the cherry blossoms petals falling down to the ground slowly, she's behind a tree. But most importantly and surely hard to ignore, that a gorgeous, eternal brunette is cupping her face, sitting on her lap like she claimed it.
Ena.. Ena is beautiful.
Mizuki felt her breath taken away from the sight, the way Ena looked at her so tenderly made Mizuki’s empty heart filled with light. Maybe.. Ena didn't see an ugly sight of her. Maybe, Ena..
“Hic..hic..” Mizuki bursts into tears before she knew it, reaching into the very person she tried so hard to push away because of her guilt. She buried her face into the brunette, taking in her warmth, breathing in her scent, completely taken and smitten.
Ena didn't let go, she sighed with a smile, hugging Mizuki back. “Geez.. making me chase you all over again. And now you're here crying. I need a break.”
Mizuki would giggle, continuing the banter with teasing, but the tears wouldn't stop.
Cause the truth is, she will.. she will do anything for Ena, she will pamper her sun, she will give anything she has to stay with Ena.
Is it really safe? Is it okay that she can be with Ena?
..However, deep down, Mizuki knows that Ena will reassure her over and over again.
Thank you, Ena.