Chapter Text
*pop*
"Nnghh..." You rub your eyes, attempting to open them after a moment. It feels like you have a flashlight beaming directly at you, making your head pound.
After a moment, you blink away some residual dizziness, focus entering your vision as you pull your hands away. Upon doing so, you look down, inspecting your hands. They're a sage green color with what appears to be tabby markings. They look cute and soft, covered in a coat of very short fur, practically unnoticeable. You inspect them further, spreading your fingers, clenching your fists. You turn your hands over to see small pads lining the underside of your fingers and short claws adorning the tips. Despite the feline appearance, your hands remain fairly human; opposable thumbs with slightly wider digits and a paw resemblance. You then noticed that instead of having your usual ten, you now appear to have eight fingers total.
"Woah!" you exclaim with astonishment, a smile spreading across your face. With the movement of your face, you feel more fur, reaching your hands up to rub across the area. You're so soft!
"This is incredible! Holy s#*t!"
Your hand slaps over your mouth, eyes flying open in shock. "What the f@$k?!" you exclaim before a laugh bubbles from your chest. Must be a filter of some sort! Amazing!
"Hey, no potty mouth!" you hear a lively voice boom from behind you. You whip around to see What appears to be a circus leader? What are they called again? Ring- Ringmaster! That's it!
You quickly take in the character's appearance. They appear to be what looked like a big pair of dentures with a top hat, large expressive eyes between each jaw, one blue and one green. They are wearing a suit with a red coat, tails hanging off of the end, slightly suspended in what seems to be zero gravity for them. The ringmaster hovers slightly above you, peering down and taking in your avatar. It it seems they are also attempting to analyze your expression.
You break the moment of silence to squeal in excitement, throwing your hand-paws? up "Holy cow! This is incredible!" You feel like that word is going to keep coming out of your mouth with each second you continue to spend here. The ringmaster seems slightly taken aback by your comment, floating a little lower to be just a bit above eye level. You reach up to find out if you're able to touch them... and you CAN!
You run your fingers across the lapels of their coat, feeling the fabric move under your touch. A gasp is heard from above you, but you pay it no mind.
"Oh my gosh! You're so realistic! The textures! The details!" You exclaim, continuing to examine the character in front of you, moving your hands to feel their shoulders, assessing the details of the muscles underneath. "T-thank you!" they respond, a stutter present in their surprised voice. Wow! they sound so real! Just like a human-
You spring back and blush furiously. "I'm so sorry! I didn't realize you were also human! I thought you were an AI or something!" you blurt out. The figure hovers higher again and smiles- well you believe they're smiling; it's a bit hard to tell. Your theory is confirmed when they let it out an amused laugh.
"I AM an AI! I'm Caine, the host of The Amazing Digital Circus!" he exclaims, voice booming as he does a spin before confetti cracks behind him and rains down on you. "WOO!" you shout, matching his energy before plucking a fleck of confetti from the air and inspecting it. The small yellow piece of paper felt so lifelike. You decide to keep it to study it further later. Looking down at your avatar to see that you're wearing a pair of black shorts. You put the item in your front pocket before returning your attention back to the AI in front of you. You beam. "My name is..." you trailed off. Why can't you remember your name? Probably for immersion to create your own character; that makes sense.
Caine watched you think before saying cautiously, "It's okay that you don't remember your name. You can choose your own or I can help you pick one!" he ended his sentence with excitement. You nodded and thought for a second. You considered the name "Mason" when you transitioned, so you'll go with that!
You broke out of your thoughts and lookup at the waiting AI before smiling and responding, "Mason. My name is Mason."
"Welcome to The amazing Digital Circus, Mason!" he exclaimed, arms wide as more confetti rained down. You giggled at his outgoing personality. He is so friendly! You feel so immersed! This is going to be awesome!
"This is amazing! Everything is so realistic and beautiful!" you say, a smile so wide on your face that your cheeks begin to hurt. It's been so long since you've felt joy like this. "W-why, thank you!" he beams. You open your mouth in shock. "Did YOU make this place?!"
The ringmaster chuckles at your question, "I did! I designed everything here at the circus!" He grins down at you, clearly excited- Can this AI feel excited? by your enthusiasm. You decide to turn around and fully take in your surroundings. You are absolutely in a circus tent! You're standing on a stage and in front of you are bright, colorful walls, furniture, SLIDES?! Those slides are huge!
"Can I go on one of the slides?!" You ask, whipping around back towards Caine. His eyes widened in what appears to be shock. "O-of course!" he replies before snapping his fingers.
You found yourself suddenly teleported to a top balcony in the tent and quickly peek over the edge, taking everything in. "Caine, this is so beautiful! I can't believe you did this all yourself!"
You see what appeared to be a glitch of sorts twitch through him. His showmanship attitude breaks for a second and he responds with a surprised, possibly bashful? voice, "No human has every told me that before."
You gape. "Wow. You must have some lame people coming here if they can't appreciate everything you've created." Another glitch. Caine clears his throat before smiling and directing your attention back to the task at hand; both arms extending towards the round entrance of the slide. Lowering yourself down towards the ground, you sit with your legs extended slightly into the slide's opening, wiggling your pawed feet. You beam up at him, "My avatar is gorgeous," you say genuinely and watch his eyes fly open wide. Before he can respond, you reach your hands above your head to grip the slide's ceiling, swinging your body to give yourself some fast momentum and then flying down.
"WOOHOOO!" you shout from within, bright hues flashing past you from the different colors adorning the slide. The ride seems to never end as you slide impossibly fast through turns and- was that a loop? Amazing!!
Eventually, you saw external light approaching. Wait... RAPIDLY approaching! OH GOD! You scream in fear, feeling your fur stand up before tightly shutting your eyes and throwing your palms over them, far too scared to watch yourself plummet to the floor. Though, you don't hit solid ground, peeking through your fingers when you felt arms around you. You looked down to see yourself just slightly hovering off the floor, being held bridal style by red fabric covered arms and white gloved hands. You're pressed against Caine's chest. You let out a breath out of relief, looking up at the ringmaster holding you safely.
"Oh my gosh, thank you Caine. I was so scared at the end there," you sighed, relieved, as a smile returned to your face. He glitches again a little and you feel his avatar heat a bit, slightly vibrating under your skin.
"How did you like it?" he asks after a second, seeming slightly worried for your answer, teeth forming a furrow to mimic a brow.
You smiled wide, recalling the memory. "Oh my gosh, Caine. It was amazing. I'm a HUGE adrenaline junkie. That was so fun! You did a wonderful job." You end the sentence gently, truly letting him hear your words and absorb them since it seems that nobody else appreciates his work like you do. You give his arm a slight squeeze of reassurance where it was wrapped around you.
His eyes widen again and you notice what appears to be blush forming where his cheeks would be. His voice glitches a little, "I..I-"
Just as he was being to speak and move to set you down, you heard a sound come from behind him. You grabbed his shoulders tightly for leverage to peek around his... head?
Out of what appeared to be a portal of sorts, you watched some new characters file out, all of them appearing out of breath and a bit scuffed up. A purple rabbit avatar was the only soaking wet one as they pull seaweed off of their head from between their tall ears. Their avatars all look as colorful and whimsical as you and Caine.
You lean back to face Caine again, who seems to have not taken his eyes off of you once, blush still present. He doesn't even acknowledge the other characters walking in. "Are those other AI's?" you ask excitedly. He seems to break from his trance and peeks slightly over his shoulder to look at the group, but makes no move to address them. He seems a little distracted when, "No, those are-"
"Woaahhh, Caine! What's going on here?!" You hear a voice exclaim. You feel Caine stiffen beneath you, like a deer caught in the headlights. You look over his shoulder to see that it was the purple rabbit who asked the question.
Suddenly, you find your feet comfortably on solid ground and standing to face the group. Caine flies up and says, "Welcome back, my blossoming buttercups!" his showman switch seemingly turned back on. "While you were all away on what I hope was a very delightful adventure, a new human arrived!" He gestures down towards you and you wave excitedly at the group. These are humans too? Awesome!
"AH! An alien!" you hear one of the humans exclaim. They seemed to be a big chess piece with a purple robe. You smiled and giggled a little. The group seems to look between each other, a little confused as they make their way towards you. You look up at Caine with a smile and see him fidgeting with his cane nervously, staring down at you. You wave at him happily and he then looks at the group walking towards you, frowning before assumingely teleporting elsewhere. Your smile fades a little, wishing he would stay while you meet new people.
The first person to step up to you appears to have an avatar that resembles a raggedy anne doll, one of their eyes a button. They smile nervously at you and hold out their hand, "Hi, I'm Ragatha. My pronouns are she/her." You smile brightly and shake her hand, "I'm Mason. My pronouns are they/them. Nice to meet you!" Everyone let out some noises of confusion an a couple gasps. You tilt your head, not understanding, "What?"
Next, a short jester character steps forward. "Y-you remember your name?" they ask. "No, I don't," you laugh a little. No wonder they were confused. "Caine said I can pick my own," you reply.
Next, a person with a very cool avatar steps forward, they seem to be made of lots of colorful, interchangeable pieces. "And... you're just like- fine with that?" they ask. You're puzzled. Why is everyone so confused?
"Well, yeah. I mean, it's part of the game, so why would I not be okay with it?"
A dead silence takes over the group before you hear loud laughter breaking it. "HAHAHAhahahha... Holy s#$t. Now that's coping," the rabbit cackles before attempting to catch his breath dramatically, like this is the funniest thing in the whole world. "Shut the f%*k up, Jax!" the colorful pieces person shouts, grabbing the rabbit's throat.
You look back to Ragatha, ignoring the choking sounds from who you assume is Jax. "W-what's going on?" you ask, paling a little. You then decide that this game is a little too weird for you. Caine was a lot of fun, but this feels a bit existential. Maybe the game was glitching out or something. You move your hands up to remove the headset, letting out a sad huff of air. The game was so fun up until this point. What a shame.
Removing the headset doesn't work. You furrow your brow.
You try again.
You let out a nervous laugh.
You try again.
You try again.
You feel your breath quicken. You fall to your knees, pawing at your face. "U-um.."
You try again.
You try again.
Your eyes widen as you look up towards the group. You feel tears form.
"W-what's happening?" you ask, hands shaking as they fall into your lap. You feel your chest tighten with an impending sob. They all look at you with sad expressions. You hear one of the characters begin sobbing and running away. "Gangle, wait!" and then you hear footsteps chasing after them.
You're trapped.
"You look much better like this."
You feel the flashback fly into one ear and out of the other. You begin hyperventilating.
"No no no no NO NO NO!!!" you scream, pulling at cat ears you just realized you had and curling in on yourself.
Ragatha reaches out in an attempt to calm you, hand resting gently on your back.
"Don't touch me! DON'T TOUCH ME!" you scream, a shrill noise of distress. Ragatha steps back, startled. "Where's Caine?! I want Caine!" you bawl, looking towards the frightened doll. "CAAAINE!" you shout, choking on sobs, squeezing your eyes shut and screaming to the ceiling.
You flinch again when you feel two hands grab your shoulders, eyes snapping open to see Caine. You wail, immediately throwing yourself into his arms. It takes him a second to return the gesture, but when he does, he squeezes you tight. You barely register gasps from the group behind him.
You pull yourself back a bit, gripping the lapels of his coat as tight as you can. Tears are streaming down your face. "Take me away, Caine, PLEASE!! I-it's to much- I can't-"
Your pleading stops as you hear a snap and immediately find yourself in a lowly dimmed room. Soft rain is playing from somewhere and you feel your body sink slightly into a deep mattress with a weighted warming blanket draped atop you. You look up with shock, seeing Caine sitting criss cross on the bed in front of you from where you lay on your side. His "brow" is cinched in worry as he stares at you and he's nervously playing with his hands.
You sniffle some more but feel like your brain has just flipped a switch. You let out a deep exhale and close your eyes, the pillow cradling your exhausted mind, the scent of lavender surrounding you. You always feel so tired after panic attacks. You reach your hand out to hold one of Caine's hands and he jumps just slightly under your touch.
Your breathing slows to something more close to normal and you give his hand a gentle squeeze, which he returns.
"Thank you, Caine," you sigh as you feel your mind and body grow heavy with sleep.
"Y-you're welcome," he whispers. A gentle smile forms on your lips as your consciousness fades.