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Lottie stared at the textbook in front of her. Her fingers tapped against the wood of her desk before she buried her face in her hands with a groan. All nighters were never productive, she should have known this by now. Laura Lee was still fast asleep in her bunk, her soft breathing being drowned out by Lottie’s nervous tapping.
She glanced at the clock and- seven-?! Lottie peeked out of the blackout curtains the two had put up. Lottie was prone to napping during the day, and Laura Lee adored sleeping in on the weekends so light blocking curtains were a must for the two. Sure enough the sun was peeking out, filtering through the leaves outside of their window.
Lottie let out a sigh at that. Laura Lee’s alarm wouldn’t be ringing for another hour and a half, and Lottie’s studying was going nowhere. She clambered into her bed, sleep taking her ridiculously quickly.
She was awoken around two hours later to the sound of her own alarm. A reminder to take her medications before going to class. Lottie dragged herself out of bed to turn off the alarm. Laura Lee had already left for one of her morning classes, so Lottie changed freely out in the open.
Granted the two had seen each other naked in the locker rooms, and the few times they’d had sex, and just Lottie being more comfortable changing in front of Laura Lee.
She pulled on more casual and comfortable clothing. No parties or distractions for the next two weeks, she really needed to get her grades up. Lottie reached for the pill box on her desk, and popped it open to see… just her birth control. She sighed and rummaged through a drawer of Tylenol, antacids, and extra doses of her prescriptions only to find…
Nothing.
She bit her lip. Going without antipsychotics wasn’t something she did. Her parents ensured she took one every morning and every evening so she would “behave normally” for whichever guests her dad had invited over.
She could probably run to the pharmacy but… that would cut into her time. Not to mention that the closest pharmacy was a two hour walk and after an altercation with her father, she’d been forced to relinquish her keys as punishment. She sighed. Fourteen days until finals were over. She could thug it out. Just endure.
Sure.
What could go wrong.
The first few days were nothing of note. Just her and Laura Lee’s regular routines, plus Lottie taking them out to dinner.
Day five was when it hit her.
It wasn’t one of her visions she had. Her visual hallucinations were horrifying and usually ended up with her locking herself in a bathroom stall and waiting it out. No this was… subtle. A slight… squirming feeling just below her skin. She scratched at a spot on her arm without thinking all through her political science class. When class let out she glanced down at her fingernails to see blood stuck beneath them.
… shit.
Lottie’s arm was scraped, as if she’d fallen onto rough concrete. She touched the spot before hissing in pain and pulling her hand away.
Lottie, despite her hallucinations being incredibly frightening, rarely hurt herself because of them. The last time she remembered it happening was when she was… during finals of senior year. She’d hit her forehead against her window, leaving her with a deep gash and three stitches. When she came downstairs, clutching her forehead and blood spilling down her face, her parents had scolded her despite her tears.
She barely even remembered the incident.
She remembered harsh words and bleeding and the familiar feeling of being so horribly alone.
She never told anyone about her hallucinations. She’d said the injury was from an accident during an independent training session. Her parents kept the whole schizophrenia thing under wraps, and Lottie was expected to do the same.
Lottie could still feel something squirming and writhing under her skin.
Lottie let out a quiet breath as she walked out of class. The squirming and writhing was borderline painful and Lottie’s nails weren’t adequate to get out whatever had burrowed beneath her skin. She wouldn’t… do anything drastic. She wouldn’t cut into her skin no matter how badly it hurt.
Mostly because she wouldn’t be able to spin a lie convincing enough to cover cuts or gashes.
She walked to the dining hall to get herself something to eat before her other class of the day. Everything was normal aside from the wriggling beneath her skin. She got something small, an apple and a bowl of cereal.
The moment she bit into the apple she felt many small, slimy things wriggling into her mouth. She spat out the bite into her napkin and her eyes widened as she saw maggots squirming on the napkin.
Lottie felt like she was going to throw up.
She covered her mouth and stood up as calmly as she could, clearing her bowl as she did so.
Lottie barely made it into a stall in time before dropping to her knees and vomiting into the toilet. She panted as she stared at the mass of squirming white creatures. Lottie blinked at it, and flushed them down. She scratched at her neck as she walked to her next class, barely noticing the blood staining her collar.
She had to pretend not to care.
When Lottie got back to her dorm (after skipping dinner and chugging more water), Laura Lee was waiting excitedly to meet her.
“Lottie!! How was your-“ she paused as she saw the scrapes on her arm and neck and the blood on her shirt. “Lottie are you okay-? What happened?”
“… I tripped out on the quad.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Lottie rubbed the back of her neck.
“Let me fix you up, okay?” Lottie nodded and sat on the floor in front of Laura Lee. She got out her first aid kit (can never be too careful). “Here we go…” Laura Lee took her arm and squeezed a dab of neosporin on the scrape.
“Thank you,” Lottie mumbled. Laura Lee found a bandage just big enough to cover the scrape, and carefully stuck it on. It wasn’t an unfamiliar routine, Lottie’s footwork had been impeccable when the two played soccer together, but Lottie was no stranger to injury. Being fatigued almost all the time was not in Lottie’s favor, and Laura Lee would be the one to patch Lottie up after games.
After nationals they spent the evening sharing gentle kisses and making sure the other was okay.
Laura Lee pressed a kiss to the newly dressed wound.
“Better?”
Lottie nodded. There were still scratches around her neck, but the two didn’t have any bandages big enough to cover the wounds. Laura Lee applied more of the antibiotic ointment to Lottie’s injuries. Laura Lee didn’t entirely buy Lottie’s story of tripping in the quad. Not with the fact that Lottie couldn’t have sustained those injuries to her neck like that.
Still, Laura Lee didn’t push it. If Lottie wanted to tell her she would.
“Thank you, Laura Lee,” Lottie pressed a gentle kiss to Laura Lee’s forehead, then her cheek, then her lips. Laura Lee kissed back, soft and still rather reserved.
“Of course,”
Day thirteen was when it happened.
Lottie woke up late. No finals that day. Her eyes blinked open in the dark of her dorm. She breathed in the scent of an unfamiliar perfume as she sat up. Laura Lee rarely wore perfume and when she did it was a subtle floral scent. Lottie’s was similar, but a more expensive and long lasting scent that clung to her clothes.
This scent was a thick, sickly sweet vanilla scent.
She bit her lip, and tried to ignore it. Sure it was weird but it was ignorable and explainable. Lottie pulled herself out of bed and started to get dressed when she heard a knock at the door. The RA maybe?
“I’m coming!!” Lottie pulled on a shirt and some shorts before answering the door.
No one stood outside. Lottie assumed this was some dumb prank one of her friends was pulling on her. With a sigh she closed the door, turned around, and flicked on the light. She sat down at her desk to take her meds and study. About half an hour in, someone knocked on her door again.
Lottie ignored it.
The knock came again, louder and sharper this time, similar to the way her dad would knock whenever he was upset with her. Lottie stood and opened the door.
“What do you want?”
The figure that stood outside her door was tall and lanky, with sunken eyes and dull skin that seemed to be wrapped tightly around bone. Lottie stumbled backwards and slammed the door closed. Her hand slapped over her mouth to muffle a scream. The handle turned as Lottie stood with her back pressed to her desk.
— — — —
Laura Lee walked back to their dorm after her last final of the term. She knew Lottie would be studying today, so she tried to open the door quietly so as not to disturb her.
Lottie was not sitting at her desk, and when Laura Lee stepped in the room, she heard the soft, quiet sound of crying. Her eyes fell upon Lottie, knees pulled to her chest, nails scraping at her neck. Laura Lee rushed over and knelt by her side.
“Lottie?” Laura Lee didn’t touch her. Lottie had never been a very touchy feely person and during panic attacks or… anything like this, she typically reacted quite poorly to physical touch.
Lottie glanced up at Laura Lee with eyes still red from crying. She sniffled and wiped her face on her sleeve, bottom lip still quivering.
“Laura Lee?” Laura Lee nodded, her voice remaining soft as she spoke.
“Yeah, it’s me, Lott. What happened?” Lottie took a deep breath.
“… I saw something.”
“The visions again?” Lottie nodded in response. “Do you wanna talk about it?” A shake of the head. “Okay.”
Lottie slowly unfurled herself and took her hands away from her neck. It stung, hot and painful from the scratching.
“Want me to take care of that?”
“… yeah,” Laura Lee nodded. She grabbed the first aid kit again. Gauze, medical tape, and antiseptic.
Laura Lee tore open the antiseptic wipe, and tilted Lottie’s head up.
“This is gonna sting a bit,” Lottie nodded, and yelped as the wipe touched her scrapes. “Breathe…” Lottie bit her lip while Laura Lee patched her up. The gauze was secured around Lottie’s neck, and sealed with a little kiss to her nose.
“Thank you.”
“No need,” Laura Lee smiled a bit. “Here,” she handed Lottie her water bottle which Lottie eagerly took. As Lottie drank, Laura Lee ran over what could’ve caused Lottie’s hallucinations.
“Hey Lott?”
“Hm?” Lottie looked up at her girlfriend.
“Have you… been taking your meds?” Lottie shook her head. “Why not?”
“I ran out like two weeks ago and I was too busy to go to the pharmacy…” Laura Lee nodded. It wasn’t a great reason to not pick up antipsychotics but… well she could understand it.
“Want to go grab it with me?”
“Uh- yeah that would be good.” Laura Lee helped Lottie to her feet.
“Lott?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” Lottie smiled and pressed a kiss to Laura Lee’s lips.
“I love you too,”