Chapter Text
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
What's the meaning of life?
Maybe the most asked question of all time. Most people know the answer but there are so many of them who don't. Hyunjin has been asking this question to himself since he was little. Unfortunately he is yet to find the answer. If you ask him why he lives, he doesn't know. He just lives. With no reason nor direction in his life. Waking up everyday, going to work then coming back home, exhausted with no energy to do anything other than eating and sleeping. He repeats this cycle everyday. Except Sundays where he does nothing but exists.
“Eat your eggs, sweetheart.” Hyunjin hears his grandmother's soft voice. Ever since he lost his family in a car accident his grandmother has been taking care of him. That's the main reason why he feels obligated to act like he is living his life. After losing her daughter, Hyunjin's mom, his grandmother centered her life around Hyunjin. She became old and sick but still takes her time to make breakfast for him everyday. Hyunjin eats it, doing everything in his power to look as cheerful as he can. He won't take the risk of upsetting his grandmother.
“Delicious as always. Thank you Nana.” He gets up and kisses her cheek.
“Don't tire yourself too much.” Hyunjin nods as if it is possible to not get tired as a mechanic. “Change your shirt when you sweat to not get sick.”
“I will, Nana.” He has been lying to his grandmother about almost everything -mostly about his own wellbeing- to the point of not feeling an ounce of guilt when he lies.
As soon as he is out the door he lights his cigarette. His workplace is a fifteen minute walk so he doesn't bother with buses. Sometimes he takes his skateboard with him when he is late, but today he feels like walking. Looking around, he watches people hurrying in and out of a coffee shop, parents taking their kids to school, people with suitcases trying to catch the bus. Everyone seems to be running to or running for something. Except Hyunjin. He is just stuck. Stuck on this sidewalk just going to and going back from work. Stuck in his grandmother's house because leaving her alone isn't an option after everything she has done. Stuck in this adult body when his mind is still on that day 15 years ago. He throws the butt of his cigarette on the sidewalk before entering the garage. He hears people shouting at each other to hurry their asses. There seems to be some expensive pieces in the garage today.
He changes his clothes and makes his way to the desk. His boss, Seo Changbin, a short man with an even shorter temper, gives him the 2005 model Toyota.
“The owner said they hear a strange sound whenever they step on the brakes.” Hyunjin nods. He looks at the details of the car on the paper. It is an easy fix.
“Anything else?” He asks. His boss whistles to another person in the corner.
“Jeongin, over here.” When Hyunjin sees the man in uniform he groans internally. He hates training newbies. They ask so many unnecessary questions and Hyunjin hates answering them.
“Yes, boss.” He says to the boss when he arrives next to them.
“This is Hyunjin. He will train you today. Watch him closely and do what he says.” Hyunjin greets with his head when the newcomer bows to him. He looks like a polite kid at least. He has short ginger hair, sharp jawline, high cheekbones and fox-like eyes. Hyunjin signals the kid to follow him.
“I like your hair.” Hyunjin doesn't say anything to Jeongin's comment. He hates small talk. When they arrive at the booth of the broken car, Hyunjin points at the cart next to the door.
“We keep every small tool in these carts. The heavier ones are on the wall.” He points at the wall behind the cart. “You don't have to do anything for a couple of weeks, just watch and learn. And don't ask questions if you don't need an answer.” Jeongin nods eagerly. Hyunjin walks to the car and lifts the hood. He takes a general look. The kid watches him diligently as he does his work.
“How long have you been a mechanic?” Hyunjin sighs. It doesn't surprise him. People always ask each other questions about their lives and Hyunjin finds it strange.
“Since I graduated from high school.” The kid seems amazed. Maybe he didn't think Hyunjin went to school at all. They become quiet but in a way that’s bothersome. Hyunjin can feel the kid wants to ask more questions. He takes another cigarette and puts it in his mouth. He lights it up and takes a deep drag from it to relax a little and goes back to his work without saying anything.
“How old are you?” Jeongin can't help himself in the end.
“We are around the same age, probably. Go get the cart for me.” Hyunjin tells him with annoyance.
“I'm 24.” The kid says when he gets the cart to Hyunjin. He doesn't make any comments on their one year age difference.
Jeongin keeps asking random questions throughout their work. Hyunjin sometimes answers and sometimes doesn't say anything. The questions differ from questions related to work to his personal life.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Hyunjin can't take it anymore.
“Look, kid, I see that you're one of those ones who gets easily bored but I'm not here to entertain you. Focus on the work and keep your mouth shut, will you?” Jeongin nods but the look on his face makes Hyunjin feel bad. “I don't have a girlfriend. I'm gay.” Jeongin doesn't say anything. Hyunjin finishes his work in silence. They are done before their afternoon break. Hyunjin goes outside instead of going to the cafeteria. He sits on the grass right next to the door. The weather is warm today but the sun is hidden behind clouds. Just how Hyunjin likes it. He smokes a little more while watching the people in the street until a car stops in front of him. A man around the same height as him gets out of the car. He has brunette hair, droopy eyes and is in an expensive suit. He approaches Hyunjin.
“Do you work here?” the man asks. Hyunjin gets up from the floor.
“Yes.” He simply answers. The man looks at him and Hyunjin can feel his judgement.
“I have an issue with my car. Who should I speak to?” Hyunjin leads the way for the man. Fortunately they find his boss in one of the booths under a truck.
“Changbin, this man says he has an issue with his car.” Changbin slides out of under the car with furrowed eyebrows but he changes the expression when he sees the man next to Hyunjin. Changbin gets up and tries to clean his hands with a dirty towel. His arms look dark because of the oil, so does his face.
“Seo Changbin, how can I help you?” Hyunjin feels his jaw dropping. He’s never seen Changbin being this polite to anyone. Surprisingly the man takes his dirty hand to shake.
“Kim Seungmin. I brought my car outside.” Changbin points at the truck behind him.
“You handle this. I'll look at Mr. Kim's car. Do you want a drink?” He asks as they get out of the booth. Hyunjin makes a confused face behind them. He wonders what just happened. Jeongin joins him not long after and they take care of the broken truck.
The rest of the day goes uneventfully with Hyunjin doing his work and Jeongin asking questions only when it is necessary. As the sun starts setting, Hyunjin makes way to his home. Smoking another one since he can't do it in the house. The last thing on earth he wants is to upset his grandmother.
A pair of high heels welcome him when he enters the house. Hyunjin can think of only one person who would visit them. He follows the smell and voices coming from the kitchen and sees his cousin making dinner with their grandmother. She looks out of place with her expensive button up shirt and pencil skirt. Her black hair is in a high ponytail, swings whenever she moves around. She notices Hyunjin when she turns to put the plates on the table.
“Hi, Jiji. I didn't hear you coming.” She says cheerfully. She puts the plates down and goes to Hyunjin to give him a tight hug. Hyunjin never returns it.
“What are you doing here, Yeji?” She takes a step back and pouts.
“Can't I visit my grandmother and my favorite cousin?” Hyunjin rolls his eyes.
“I'm your only cousin and you don't visit us when it doesn't benefit you.”
“Hyunjin, be polite to your cousin.” Yeji smirks as Hyunjin apologizes to their grandmother.
“You are kind of right. I have a favor to ask.” Hyunjin gestures to his grandmother.
“See. I knew it.” He crosses his arms in front of him and waits for Yeji to continue.
“But it will benefit you too. I already talked to Nana and she likes the idea. We want you to accept it.” Hyunjin looks at the two of them.
“What is it?” He asks with confusion but before Yeji can say something his grandmother shoos him.
“Go wash your hands first, we can talk at dinner. Hurry, go!” Hyunjin goes upstairs with the same confusion. He takes a quick shower and changes his clothes while thinking what Yeji's offer could be if his grandmother has already accepted it.
He hurries down the stairs to see them already drinking their soups and whispering behind his back.
“Are you gossiping about me?” He asks as he sits down. Yeji's “No.” comes a little too fast for it to be true.
“Tell me, what do you want?” Yeji looks at their grandmother first and turns to Hyunjin after she gives her the green light.
“You know the facility I work at. We have a new research project for people with mental health problems.” Hyunjin stiffens at the words. He isn't going to act like everything is normal with him but he doesn't like talking about it. Yeji keeps bringing up this topic whenever she visits and Hyunjin hates it. “It is a research about how people with mental health problems affect each other during the treatment process. You will live with other people who are struggling to follow through their treatments for two months. We will monitor you and see if it will be better or worse for you.”
“Do you want me to be your lab rat?” Hyunjin feels offended.
“In a sense? Yes. But it will benefit both sides. I will get my results and you will get better. Hopefully.” Hyunjin looks at his grandmother but she seems to be on the same page with Yeji.
“Living with strangers for two months? Why would I accept something like that?” Yeji gets up and takes some papers out of his bag on the couch. She sets the papers next to Hyunjin's plate.
“Because my dear cousin, the facility will pay you.” Hyunjin looks at the numbers on the paper. It is enough for him to get his own place.
“And who will be with Nana when I'm gone?” Hyunjin tries his last chance but it backfires when Yeji side hugs his grandmother and kisses her cheek.
“Me. Of course. We will have so much fun without you.” She sticks her tongue out to Hyunjin. Hyunjin sighs. He feels defeated. This is a huge step and both of the women seem to want Hyunjin to take it.
“I'll think about it.” Hyunjin says and Yeji jumps to hug him with cheer.
Hyunjin watches the moon peeking out between the clouds from his window. Yeji left hours ago and he is still thinking about their talk. She said it would benefit him too and the money sounds good but what would Hyunjin do with that much money? Get his own place? Open his own shop? Making a decision becomes harder when you don't have a direction in life. Hyunjin only became a mechanic cause it was the only place that would accept him as a high school graduate, apart from grocery stores, and he would rather die than work in customer service. Cars are good, they don't complain or ask questions. He listens to them, finds their problem and solves it. He leaves dealing with customers to Changbin.
Hyunjin looks at the paper in front of him. The house is outside of the city so he would have to drive to work every day. It is already stressful for him to leave his bubble. Why did they get a house far away? His eyes wander around the tiny room. The space has become really cramped for him. He barely fits his bed anymore. It feels like everything and everyone around him wants him to change. His eyes go to the door when it silently opens revealing his grandmother's gray hair and pink cheeks.
“Can I come in?” She asks softly.
“Of course, Nana.” Hyunjin answers and helps her to sit on the bed. The sound of her heavy breathing fills the silence of the room.
“Are you worried?” She says after resting a little. Hyunjin just nods. “I'm worried too.” Hyunjin looks at her eyes. “I'm getting older day by day, Hyunjin. Even climbing those stairs has become a huge task for me. I know I won't live long.” Hyunjin wants to protest but the woman doesn't let him. “You don't have to lie to me anymore, Hyunjin. I know everything. I know you are not eating at work. I know you are smoking and I know you are not well.” Hyunjin drops his head ashamedly.
“I'm sorry.” He murmurs under his breath.
“I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, my boy. I know I don't have much time left just like I know all those things and I'm worried. Not because of death breathing down my neck but because if I die you will be alone.” His grandmother pats the space next to her and Hyunjin sits beside her. “I never wanted anything from you till this day but I want you to do this, Hyunjin. I want you to find your own path in life.” Hyunjin feels his eyes getting watery. He bows his head to hide his tears. The old woman caresses his cheek. “Promise me. Say you will try for your old Nana.” Hyunjin lifts his head. His tears keep rolling down on his cheek.
“I will Nana. I promise.” He hugs her tightly and breathes in her powdered scent.
“No matter what happens, know that I'm proud of you, sweetheart.” Hyunjin nods and lets his tears wet the old woman's shoulder. The clouds clear and the moon watches them as they silently wash their hearts with tears.
The next sunday Hyunjin wakes up early without a problem. He is determined to make today the first day of his new life. He knows it won't be easy but he promised his grandmother and he will do everything to make her proud.
Hyunjin gets up and goes to wash his face. He sees a tired face looking at him as opposed to what he feels inside. On an impulse he decides to change his face too. He gets the scissors and starts cutting his long dark hair to get rid of the shadows on his face. With every strand of hair falling on the sink he feels lighter but it doesn't feel enough. He decides to go all in and takes his clippers off the shelf and starts buzzing his hair. When he is done he looks at his reflection. The man in the mirror feels almost foreign . He has the same features as Hyunjin but there, in his eyes, is a little hint of a light Hyunjin hasn't seen before.
He quickly takes a shower, wears a simple black tee and his ripped jeans and goes downstairs with the bag he prepared with his grandmother.
“Good morning sweetheart. Love the new hair.” The old woman greets him.
“Where is Yeji?” He asks. “She said she would be here before I left.”
“She called and said she will be late.” Hyunjin shakes his head.
“And here I am going to the other side of the city trusting her words.” His grandmother hands him a paper bag.
“I made you some kimbap. Share with your friends there.” Hyunjin laughs at the woman's words. He feels like a school kid more than an adult. Then he panics when she starts tearing up.
“What happened, Nana? Are you in pain?” He tries to check if she is hurt somewhere.
“No.” The woman wipes her tears with the hem of her blouse. “It's just… It has been so long since I heard your laugh.” Hyunjin hugs her.
“No more crying, Nana. Please.” The woman nods.
“Okay, okay. Go now, don't be late and call me when you arrive there.”
“Got it, Nana.” He hurries to the garage where his old friend sits. He gets into the driver’s seat and starts driving. He watches from his rearview mirror as his home becomes smaller and smaller. An uncomfortable feeling sits on his chest.
Hyunjin spends the rest of his ride trying not to overthink everything. He blasts some songs from the old radio of his car. Smokes a few cigarettes. he promised his grandmother it would be better for him to quit smoking but he isn’t ready for that type of commitment yet. He will take baby steps.
It takes him half an hour to drive there on a Sunday morning. Which means it will take him longer to get his job on weekdays. Hyunjin checks the location his cousin sent to him one last time. When he makes sure he is at the right place he parks his car right outside of the gates. The area looks secluded with trees and huge walls. He rings the doorbell while examining the huge wooden gates. He hears a buzzing sound before the gates open and they let him inside. He throws his bag over his shoulder and walks up the driveway. As he gets closer to the house he sees a figure with two suitcases struggling to climb the stairs in front of the door. It seems like one of the suitcases has given up and broken down. Hyunjin doesn't say anything as he takes the broken suitcase under his arm and carries it with him to the door. The person, now behind him, takes the remaining suitcase and catches up to him.
When they come face to face Hyunjin feels his heart skipping a beat. Before him stands the most beautiful creature God has created. His big doe eyes remind Hyunjin of a deer’s. He has heart shaped pink lips and a cute button nose. Light brown dots are splattered all around his face making him more adorable than he already is. He has a soft pink satin top with noodle straps and metallic gray pleated skirt that sways with the wind. Hyunjin looks at the necklace decorated with huge pink flowers.
“Thank you.” Hyunjin gets startled with the deep voice. Then comes the most beautiful laugh he hears. “Did I scare you with my voice? It happens more than you think.” He tucks a strand of blond hair that got stuck on his lips because of the wind. “My name is Felix.” Hyunjin takes the extended hand and can't help but notice how smaller it is compared to his.
“Hyunjin.” He simply says and drops the hand. Felix smiles at him.
“You are such a gentleman, Hyunjin. Thank you again.” Hyunjin just nods and clears his throat. He doesn't know what to say and he certainly doesn't want to return the gaze Felix fixated on him. “Should we ring the doorbell?” The blond asks playfully, and Hyunjin curses to himself before knocking on the door.
The door opens to reveal a tiny woman with chestnut hair and glasses. Her big round eyes get smaller when she smiles at them as she makes way for them to come in.
“Welcome. We were waiting for you.” They leave their bags at the high ceiled entrance with a huge chandelier. Hyunjin sees two figures sitting on the white couch in the living room. The house is an open space. A white marble island separates the kitchen from the living room. Everything looks pristine and white. Shiny kitchen cabinets, the fluffy couch, huge carpet… It feels like a dental clinic more than a house. There are sliding glass doors that open to a patio. Hyunjin can see a pool and lounge chairs from where he stands. He and Felix sit at the end of the couch.
“Since everyone is here, hi, I'm Park Jihyo.” The woman in the suit clasps her hands together. “I will be your counselor and therapist for this research. Thank you for coming. I assume you read the papers we sent you but let me go over it once again. Four of you will live together for sixty days. Everyone here has an illness they are struggling to overcome. We won't reveal what it is, it is up to you to share if you want. You will continue to live your lives like you used to, however, it is mandatory for you to have dinner together. Also, there will be weekly therapy sessions every Sunday.” She points to the corner of the ceiling. “There are cameras in common areas like the living room and the backyard so we can keep track of your behavioral changes. Throwing parties or drinking too much alcohol are not allowed so as not to disturb the process. Any questions?” The woman looks at them above her thin glasses. Felix raises his hand.
“Can we invite people over?” He asks.
“As long as it doesn’t get too crowded, yes.” Felix smiles at the answer.
“What if we bail? Do we still get the money?” A man with black hair speaks. He is in a black hoodie and black jeans although it’s June.
“You can leave the house before the research ends but you won’t get the money.” Jihyo answers politely. The man scrunches his high bridged nose. Hyunjin assumes he cursed internally. No one else says anything.
“Okay then. l'll leave you to settle. There are essentials in the kitchen and you can call us using the number on the fridge if there is an issue. Take care and see you next week.” Her high heels leave knocking sounds on the floor before she exits from the door. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Felix gets up. He stands in front of the grumpy guy and extends his hand.
“Hi, I'm Felix.” The guy looks at Felix’s hand then his face.
“I'm not here to make friends, blondie.” The man next to him with short blond hair stands up and takes Felix's hand.
“I'm Chan. Nice to meet you.” Felix smiles at him.
“Go play the nice guy all you want, just don't bother me. I'm here for the money.”
“We will live together for two months. What do you want us to call you if you don't want to say your name? Mr Cranky?” Chan says. Felix snorts but hides his mouth behind his hand.
“It is Minho.” The grumpy gets up to take his bags. He gives them a dirty look before going upstairs.
“And you?” Chan turns to him.
“Hyunjin.” He simply says and nods when Chan says it is nice to meet him.
“We should check our rooms.” Felix surprises him by taking his hand to make Hyunjin stand up. “Let's go!”
Hyunjin helps him with his suitcases again as they climb the stairs in the corner next to the entrance. The stairs have black metal rails contrasting to the whiteness of the whole interior.
The second floor has four rooms and a bathroom with two sinks. The rooms are all next to each other and attached to the door of each room is a nameplate indicating who will be staying there. They enter Felix's room and drop his belongings next to the door.
“Thank you again.” Felix says to Hyunjin.
“Don't you think you brought too many things for a two month stay?” He eyes the heavy suitcases.
“No, but I think you didn't bring enough bags for a two month stay.” He points at Hyunjin’s bag slung over his shoulder. Felix turns around to look at the empty room. Just like downstairs everything is white. There is a huge wardrobe right next to the door. A queen sized bed with white frame is in front of it. Long windows make the room bright and there is a study desk on the opposite of the bed. Felix jumps on the bed and lies on his back. “A little soulless but comfortable.” Hyunjin stands there without knowing where to look. He feels like he is not supposed to look at Felix cause whenever he does his stomach feels funny. His eyes start to wander to Felix's legs and sees his skirt has ridden up a little to show his smooth thighs. Hyunjin clears his throat.
“I should go.” He doesn't wait for Felix to say something and sprints out of the room. His room is right next to Felix's. He enters quickly and closes the door behind him. The interior is the same as the other room except he has a little balcony next to his bed.
It doesn't take him long to settle in since he doesn't bring too much stuff. He doesn't own too many clothes and he doesn't have any hobbies so there is nothing to bring to begin with. He opens the door of the balcony. There are no chairs so he sits on the floor instead. He can see the backyard between metal bars.
Hyunjin lights up a cigarette then remembers he promised to call his grandmother. He takes his phone out and calls the number. She answers after a few rings.
“What's up, loser?” He hears Yeji's voice; it’s a little too cheerful. Hyunjin rolls his eyes although she can't see him.
“Where is Nana?” He hears some slurping noises in the back.
“She is right next to me. She is so glad you finally left and she cut some watermelon for us to eat.” Hyunjin opens his mouth to curse at her but Yeji stops him. “You are on speaker by the way.”
“How are you sweetheart? Did you meet your friends? Are they good?” He hears the old woman’s soft voice.
“Yes, Nana. I met everyone. They are… decent.” He avoids using a word she wouldn't approve.
“Good. Be nice and share your meal with them.” She says and Yeji laughs. Hyunjin blows the smoke from his nose.
“I will, Nana.” He lies but this time he feels bad about it. He promised to change but some things feel easier to say than do.
“What about the house? Did you like it?” Yeji interferes. Hyunjin knows she did this to brag.
“Yes, it is good.” He answers shortly.
“Just good? Damn it Jin, I sent you to a whole ass resort.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes again. “I do everything for you and you are still doubting me, have some shame.”
“You said it would multiply if I bury my beyblades too. How can I trust you?” He presses the butt of his cigarette on the balcony’s floor to put it out.
“It was your fault for being so gullible. Anyways, listen to Nana and make some friends.” She hangs up the phone before Hyunjin can say anything. He gets up and takes the kimbap out from his bag. He doesn't really feel hungry and he certainly doesn't want to spend time with the other people. His brain reminds him of the promise he made but Hyunjin shakes his head. He doesn't feel ready and this is just their first day - he will have many opportunities to befriend them. A knock stops his internal struggle. The door opens slowly to reveal Felix standing by the door frame.
“Can I come in?” Hyunjin nods. Felix looks around the room then sees the balcony behind Hyunjin. “This is unfair. I want a balcony too.” He passes by Hyunjin and stands on the balcony. “You can see the backyard. Look at those flowers.” He points at the colorful flower garden next to the pool. Hyunjin stands by the glass doors and watches Felix looking around. The blond's eyes stop on him. “You are lucky.” He says then he notices what Hyunjin is holding. “Were you about to eat? Did I interrupt you?” Felix asks ashamedly. Hyunjin wasn't planning to eat it, not really.
“Do you want to eat?” He offers his meal to Felix. The blond's face lights up. He takes one of the kimbap and sits down on the floor. He motions for Hyunjin to sit down. The taller man stays unmoving. He didn't expect Felix to eat the food with him. Maybe he should've been clearer. Now he looks stupid standing there watching Felix eat. He sits down. Leans back on metal rails. They start eating in silence. The sun is behind the house so they are in the shade. A nice breeze carries the beautiful smell of the flowers. Felix leans on one of the glass doors and extends his legs. His feet are touching the rails since the space is small but he looks content.
“It is delicious.” Felix moans. “Did you make it?” He turns his face to Hyunjin.
“My grandma did.” He answers. Watching Felix eat happily feels more fulfilling than eating himself.
“That's so lovely. I wish I had a grandmother.”
“She is lovely.” Hyunjin smiles to himself. He takes another bite. Eating can feel tedious for him but having Felix's company makes it easier.
“What is your profession?” Hyunjin doesn't feel bothered by questions, which is a first.
“I am a mechanic.”
“That's so cool. I don't even know how to drive.” Felix laughs at himself. Hyunjin doesn't ask any questions but it doesn't matter to Felix. He talks anyway. “I’m a waiter. I was staying with my sister and her husband. It is a little pathetic but I'm trying to save up money. I want to study abroad.” Hyunjin gets surprised.
“Why?” He finds himself asking.
“I don't feel like I belong here. I'm planning to go back to Australia. That's why I joined the research. With the money they offer, I can go. I want to become an interior designer. I'm not so good at drawing but I'm hardworking. This place is giving me a headache though, everything is white.” Hyunjin smiles to himself.
“Did I talk too much? I tend to yap. Tell me to stop if it bothers you.”
“No, it doesn't bother me.” Hyunjin shakes his head and it is true. He finds Felix's company quite pleasing.
When they are done with their food Felix offers to show Hyunjin his room. They go back to the room next to his and Hyunjin can already tell the difference from stickers around the nameplate. Felix holds the door handle and looks at Hyunjin.
“Are you ready?” He asks and Hyunjin feels curious about what waits for him inside the room.
The room looks totally different from the first time Hyunjin saw it. The bed is in light blue covers. On top of it are one white bunny and one black cat plushie. There are tiny photo frames on the wall behind the bed. Felix points at the people inside them.
“That's my sister and that tiny girl is my adorable little niece. She is six now. She will start elementary school next year.”
The wardrobe has movie posters on it. Hyunjin recognizes some of them like The Breakfast Club, Amelie and Lord of The Rings. The study desk has become colorful too. There is a tiny oval mirror with a pink frame and a plastic sunflower in a green vase. His study books are stacked on top of each other. Next to them is a metallic orange pencil case. For the last touch there are little gold stars hanging from the ceiling.
“What do you think?” Felix bites his lips nervously.
“It looks cozy.” Hyunjin says. “Definitely better than before. Maybe you should redecorate the whole house.” He jokes and Felix beams at him.
“I should ask if it is possible.” Their talk gets disturbed with noises coming from downstairs. They look at each other before hurriedly make their way to the first floor. When they arrive they see Chan and Minho arguing about something in the kitchen. Chan takes the knife Minho is holding.
“You don't know shit, just let me do my job.” He goes around Minho and takes some vegetables from the fridge.
“I don't care what your job is. I make my own food.” Minho takes back the knife and starts chopping green onions.
“Do you think I'm gonna poison you or something? I was trying to be nice.” Minho turns to Chan with the knife pointed toward him.
“That's the issue with you. Stop playing the nice guy. All of us are here because we are freaks. Don't act like you are better than us.”
“I'm not.” Chan looks offended.
“Is there an issue?” Felix's question makes them turn to him.
“Great Barbie and Ken are here too.” Minho says mockingly and Chan sighs.
“I just think it is better for me to make dinner since I'm a chef, but this person insists on cooking his dinner separately.”
“Being a chef doesn't mean you are a good cook.” Minho defends himself.
“Do you even hear yourself?” Chan shouts. Felix and Hyunjin exchange looks. They don't know what to do in this situation.
“Yes, my hearing is good unlike your cooking skills.” Minho bites back.
“You can't know my skills without tasting the food I make so your argument is stupid.” Chan's words make Minho angry.
“I just want to make my own dinner. What's wrong with that?” He turns to Hyunjin and Felix for them to agree with him.
“It would be more reasonable for me to make dinner for everyone.” Chan explains.
“Who made you the head here? How do you know you cook better than me?” Minho dares and Chan takes a step forward.
“Do you want a dare? Let's cook the same dish and the winner gets to rule the kitchen.” Minho laughs.
“Oh darling, I don't want to hurt your ego.” There are just inches between their faces and Minho is still holding the knife upward.
“My ego will be fine. We will make it and they will decide the winner.” Chan points at the two without prying his eyes from Minho.
“Deal.” Minho says back. “You two get out of the kitchen.” Felix takes Hyunjin by the hand.
“Let's go. I want to see the flowers from up close.” They leave Chan and Minho standing there chest to chest.
The garden looks even better from up close. There are roses of different colors, lavender, daisies, dahlias and peonies. They are planted in circles and in the center stands a tiny bird bath with little birds that come and go from time to time. Felix bends down to smell the roses.
“I want a garden like this when I get my own place.” He plucks a pink rose and puts it behind his ear then plucks a red one and gets up.
Hyunjin gets taken aback when Felix puts the flower behind his ear. “It suits you.” Felix says.
They sit down on the stone bench right beside the garden and watch the flowers. The wind makes them look like they are dancing. Felix closes his eyes and lifts his head. Hyunjin watches him as his smile gets bigger. Some of his hair strands cover his face because of the wind.
The setting sun makes his blond hair look golden. His long lashes touch his cheeks and Hyunjin can see his eyelids are decorated with little freckles. He feels warm inside and he wonders if it is because of Felix or the sun. Then again, he is sure if the sun was a person it would be like Felix. Hyunjin didn't know a person could be as warm and as radiant as him.
They sit in silence. Some birds that come to bathe keep them company. Hyunjin takes the rose from behind his hair and smells it. It looks so delicate and fragile. He touches the petals to feel the softness of them. Hyunjin decides to keep this rose with him as a gift and as a sign of the first day of his new life.
“Thank you.” He whispers, but Felix hears him.
“It looks so tiny in your hands.” He jokes. A tiny hand comes next to his bigger one to measure them. “Your hands are huge.” Felix says with amazement. Hyunjin turns his palm to him and their hands touch each other. His stomach feels funny again. They look at Hyunjin's hand swallowing Felix’s tiny one. Then Felix takes his hand back quickly.
“I hope they get dinner ready soon. I'm hungry.” Felix says without looking at him. Hyunjin can feel his fingers tingling at the memory of a small hand.
They go back inside after Chan announces dinner is ready. When they are inside they see four bowls in front of their chairs. Minho and Chan stand behind the marble counter to watch them.
“Eat then choose one.” Minho says. He looks intimidating. Hyunjin feels scared to choose a plate now.
“They both look delicious.” Felix says cheerfully but the men don’t look pleased.
They sit and taste it. It is a simple cold noodle soup. From the outside the plates look almost identical. They taste similar too, but to Hyunjin there is a certain winner.
“Which one?” Chan says after they eat a little from each plate.
“Both of them are good. It is hard to choose.”
“Just choose one, damn it.” Minho's voice startles Felix.
“Okay, just point at the bowl you liked more at the same time.” Chan says. “Which one?” He asks and both of them point at the bowl on their right. Minho groans loudly as Chan laughs. “Don't start a fight you can't win, babe.” He says cockily.
“I'll chop your head off.” Minho threatens and tries to leave the kitchen but Chan holds his arm.
“Dinner is mandatory. Remember?” Minho takes his arm back harshly and sits down in front of Felix. He takes the bowl of his own noodle soup back and starts to eat it. Chan also sits down and takes the bowl from Hyunjin's left.
“Don't eat my noodles.” Minho complains. Chan tastes it first before speaking.
“They are really good for someone who doesn't work in the kitchen. Just a little salty - and you could've cut the cucumber better.” He picks a piece of uneven cut cucumber to show them.
“Shut up and eat.” Minho says and turns back to his own bowl. It is decided: Chan is the ruler of the kitchen.
Hyunjin lies down on his back and stares at the ceiling. He feels full after finishing his meal. The noodles were so delicious and he ate the whole thing. Although today was long and tiring he feels a sense of accomplishment. He left his comfort zone and even made some friends. He isn't sure about Minho, but he can count Chan and Felix as friends.
Felix… Something about him makes Hyunjin's heart swell. He doesn't feel bothered by him, on the contrary, he likes being around him and listening to him yap about things. He hears soft knocks on the door and lifts his head. Felix is in the doorway again with his hands behind his back.
“Can I come in?” He asks softly and tilts his head to the side.
“Yes.” Hyunjin sits up. Felix comes near to the foot of the bed.
“I have a favor to ask. You see I tried to do it myself but my hands are small.” His eyes look away from Hyunjin to his hands.
“What is it?” Hyunjin asks. He doesn't expect Felix to suddenly climb the bed and sit on his lap. He takes one of Hyunjin's hands.
“Your hands are beautiful.” Felix starts kissing the tip of his fingers. “Your fingers are long too.” He licks Hyunjin’s index finger while looking him in the eye. Hyunjin wonders if he fell asleep and is having a crazy wet dream. Felix starts sucking on his index finger and Hyunjin forgets how to breathe. His brain doesn't work as all of the blood rushes to his cock. Felix releases his finger with a pop.
“Will you help me?” Hyunjin finds himself nodding as he can’t form a sentence. Felix directs Hyunjin's hand behind himself, under his skirt. He makes the tip of Hyunjin's finger touch his rim as their eyes never leave each other and Hyunjin nods again to give him a green light. His finger easily enters the hole as it is already loosened and slippery. Felix moans at the sensation.
“I tried to get rid of these thoughts but… ever since this morning I can't stop thinking about your hands.” Hyunjin pushes his finger in and out of Felix. The Blond puts his hands on Hyunjin's shoulders.
“My hands?” Hyunjin asks.
“Yes. I can't get them out of my head. Also you. I was thinking of you.” Then it hits Hyunjin. Felix was fingering himself before coming to Hyunjin for help. And he was thinking of him while doing it. He doesn't know what to do with this information but his dick twitches. “Add another one.” He obeys when Felix tells him. The blond pushes his ass back on Hyunjin's fingers. His legs are getting tired but he feels too good to mind it. The strap of his top slides down and Hyunjin kisses his shoulder. Felix's sweet scent fills his nostrils. Felix looks down and notices the tent on Hyunjin's pants.
“Do you want me to help you?” He asks as he palms Hyunjin through his jeans. Hyunjin just nods again. Felix makes him lay back and opens his zipper. Hyunjin's fingers are still inside him. Felix starts pumping Hyunjin as soon as he gets his dick free. Hyunjin throws his head back and moans. Felix holds his wrist firmly. “Don't slack.” He tells Hyunjin then he starts rubbing their dicks together and Hyunjin tries hard to not let go of his hand.
He keeps his fingers inside of Felix as he starts jerking them off together. Their moans get mixed together. His other hand goes to Felix and he feels the soft skin under his fingers. Felix quickens his rhythm. Hyunjin tries to match him. “I'm close.” The blond warns him. He leans forward and puts his hand beside Hyunjin for support. They are getting sweaty and their hands start to get tired. Felix's rhythm becomes erratic. Hyunjin can feel himself getting close too. He bends his fingers to hit Felix's sweet spot and when he does it. Felix comes with a loud moan. His body is trembling and his arm can no longer hold him up so he collapses on top of Hyunjin. They try to catch their breaths for a few minutes. Hyunjin finally takes his hand out of Felix. The hint of a strawberry scent hits him.
“Thank you.” He feels a wet kiss on his cheek. The blond slowly gets up and fixes his clothes. “Sorry for the mess. We should do this again sometime.” He smiles at Hyunjin and goes to the door. “Good night, Hyunjin.” He says before exiting the room. Leaving Hyunjin with a confused mind and even more confused heart.