Okay eel man

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Mature

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Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

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Language:

English

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Published:: 2026-06-23
Completed:: 2026-07-03
Words:: 11,495
Chapters:: 3/3
Comments:: 85
Kudos:: 833
Bookmarks:: 132
Hits:: 4,878

Ampersand24

Summary:

Ilya: you work with water snakes

Shane: They’re ray finned fish actually
Shane: Not reptiles at all
Shane: Even aquatic snakes have lungs so they must surface to breathe but eels have gills so no need

Ilya: okay

Shane: Sorry I know it’s boring

Ilya: no is okay

or, hockey player Ilya accidentally texts marine biologist Shane and can't seem to stop

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1 Chapter Text

Ilya: what to do if dog eats grapes?; is it bad?
Shane: Who is this?
Ilya: ilya from stereo
Shane: I don't know who you are
Ilya: ilya; what about the grapes?
Ilya: ???
Shane: I'm pretty sure they're poisonous
Ilya: will they make her sick?; i should go to vet?
Shane: Yes...
Ilya: Okay
Ilya: anya is okay; they give medicine
Shane: I’m glad; Your dog is cute
Ilya: yes she is cutest
Shane: Do you regularly poison your dog?
Ilya: NO; she was staying with a friend; was his fault; but it was mistake
Shane: Okay; You’ve got the wrong number by the way.
Ilya: this is not jane?
Shane: No; Definitely not; Sorry
Ilya: thanks for help with anya
Shane: You’re welcome
Ilya: anya update; days since poisoned 2
Shane: Cute
Ilya: whats your name?
Shane: Shane
Ilya: are you sure your not jane; vet student at montreal university
Shane: *You’re; And yes definitely not Jane
Ilya: short hot curly hair
Shane: Definitely not me
Ilya: is unfortunate; she was very hot; she must’ve made mistake with number
Shane: Maybe she gave you the wrong number deliberately
Ilya: no girls do not do this with me; why would they
Shane: Maybe it’s the arrogance?
Ilya: confidence
Shane: Oh; I’m a man
Ilya: okay jane
Shane: I'm not Jane
Ilya: prove it
Ilya: morning; days since poisoned 3
Shane: Am I going to get daily updates?
Ilya: you do not want?; i cannot let Anya hear that you don’t care
Shane: I don’t know you???
Ilya: yet; tell me about yourself
Shane: No
Ilya: come on; you are scared?
Shane: No.
Ilya: you are old creepy man then; i sent hot pic to old ugly man; boo
Shane: I’m not old; I’m 24
Ilya: same; you do not deny creep
Shane: No not that too!; I’m a marine biologist
Ilya: what is this
Shane: I work with eels
Ilya: eels; like this
Shane: Not those; They are conger eels; I work with the american eels
Ilya: you work with water snakes
Shane: They’re ray finned fish actually; Not reptiles at all; Even aquatic snakes have lungs so they must surface to breathe but eels have gills so no need
Ilya: okay
Shane: Sorry I know it’s boring
Ilya: no is okay
Ilya: hello water snake man; days since poisoned 4
Shane: Good morning; Still eels not snakes; Also is she ever awake?
Ilya: what do you do with them?; and sometimes
Shane: Mostly just track them
Ilya: track them how
Shane: With satellite tags; They come from the Sargasso Sea
Ilya: why
Shane: They’re a migratory species; That’s just their life cycle
Ilya: what is this?
Shane: Migratory?
Ilya: yes
Shane: It’s animals that move from one place to another in their lifespan; Like when birds fly south for warmer weather
Ilya: oh; is that why so many singing birds in spring; very noisy
Shane: I mean that might just be spring
Ilya: no no; they all come; to boston in may
Shane: Boston?; Is that where you’re from?
Ilya: no russia; but i live in boston
Shane: Oh cool; Sounds like they’re warblers; Pretty common; I’m not really a bird person
Ilya: i know; you are water snake man
Shane: *Eel
Ilya: okay eel man
Ilya: days since poisoned 5; today was beach day; look she's awake
Shane: I don’t know why you’re still texting me
Ilya: you do not like?
Shane: No I’m sorry; Just had a bad day; Didn’t mean to take it out on you
Ilya: what happened?
Shane: We had a funding cut; One of the grants expired and there isn’t any others we’re eligible for; It happens all the time; I'm not surprised; Just disappointed
Ilya: is bad
Shane: Yes bad; No money = no eel conservation
Shane: Sorry that was really rude of me; I’m sorry
Ilya: is okay; sounds like bad day
Shane: Still wrong eel; Tell me about yours?
Ilya: mine?
Shane: Yes
Ilya: i walked anya; had work; then went to beach with her
Shane: What do you do for work?
Ilya: i play hockey
Shane: Really?; Professionally?
Ilya: yes eel man; for boston
Shane: Oh ew; Wait Boston Raiders?; Ilya Rozanov?
Ilya: yes; you are fan; i can sign for you
Shane: No no; Not fan; But you’re an amazing player to watch
Ilya: yes so fan; you want jersey
Shane: No!; I’m a Centaurs fan
Ilya: i will block; this is embarrassing; you support worst team in league
Shane: Would you prefer me to be a Montreal fan?
Ilya: i lied; it could be worse
Shane: You look different without the uniform
Ilya: what
Shane: I mean; The picture you sent before; I didn’t recognise you
Ilya: yes jane; should I have sent picture in jersey
Shane: Still not Jane
Ilya: i know; that is not no to jersey picture
Shane: It’s a no
Ilya: i think you lie
Shane: It’s late; I’ve got work early
Ilya: goodnight; make sure to save eels tomorrow
Shane: Night
Shane: Thank you for earlier; I really was having a bad day
Ilya: go to sleep Jane
Shane: Consider the eels saved!
Ilya: wow; that is nice
Shane: People think they’re pretty gross usually; It’s hard to get people interested in conservation when the species aren’t cute; But I think they are!; Charismatic species get the majority of funding and media coverage; Oh you’re being sarcastic
Shane: No Anya picture today?
Ilya: no sorry; she is in dog hotel :(; i have game today
Shane: The Admirals aren’t playing well this season
Ilya: that is because they have dinosaur as centre
Shane: He’s not that old
Ilya: he is ancient; maybe as old as your eels
Shane: Fun fact: they can live up to 50 years in captivity; Though it’s usually 10-20 in the wild; You know in ancient Egypt they were associated with the sun god Atum; They believed they came to life when the sun warmed the Nile
Ilya: that is good chirp; i will ask hunter about ancient egypt
Shane: I don’t want to encourage you
Ilya: go back to your eels Jane; i have game to play
Shane: Good luck!
Shane: Congrats on the win
Ilya: is easy not very fun; old man is playing very bad today; did you see my hat trick
Shane: Yes; Was very good
Ilya: you were watching hockey at work; what about the eels
Shane: Only a little
Ilya: okay; i go celebrate
Shane: Have fun
Ilya
Shane: Get home safe
Shane: How's the hangover?
Ilya: 👎
Shane: That bad
Ilya
Shane: Hungover flight...; Good luck
Ilya: reunited; days since poisoned 8
Shane: You made it home
Ilya: worried about me
Shane: No; Why would I be?
Ilya: is joke; relax Jane; you know; i do not know what you look like
Shane: I know...
Ilya: send pic
Shane: No.
Ilya: please; maybe you are big liar; you are not 24 or eel saver
Shane: I am; Both
Ilya: arrogant
Shane: *Confident
Ilya: i am still waiting jane
Shane: Still not my name
Ilya: okay; send me picture Shane; pretty please; bonus point is there is eel
Shane: What do I get?
Ilya: you are very pretty eel man
Shane: Thanks I guess
Ilya: here you go
Ilya: what are you doing?
Shane: Texting you?; I'm going out in a bit
Ilya: okay
Shane: Is everything okay?
Ilya: yes yes
Shane: Canadian Wildlife Federation’s finest
Ilya: who is this?
Shane: Me; And Rose
Ilya: who is rose
Shane: She’s another marine biologist; We work together
Ilya: girlfriend?
Shane: She doesn’t have one; How could you tell?
Ilya: she is not yours
Shane: Oh no; Not at all; We tried; But we’re not compatible
Ilya: i do not know this word
Shane: It means we don’t fit well together
Ilya: because she is gay
Shane: Kinda; I mean yes; But not entirely
Ilya: okay
Shane: Okay?
Ilya: yes okay; have fun
Shane: A marine biologists wild night out does not compare to yours
Ilya: i did not think it would
Ilya: days since poisoned 9; she is excited for hotel
Shane: When is your flight?
Ilya: soon
Shane: To Florida
Ilya: you are checking my schedule
Shane: No; I just like to catch the games in the evening
Shane: Okay; Maybe I checked
Ilya: it’s okay; is very nice; florida not so nice; hot; humidity is not good for hair
Shane: For your hair...
Ilya: yes makes frizzy
Shane: What about your hockey?
Ilya: is unaffected; i am the best
Shane: Arrogant
Ilya: in case you forgot
Shane: What about this year?
Ilya: i will win
Shane: Okay
Ilya: how is work?
Shane: Pretty good; We’re a bit stuck on the field work with the funding loss but we’ve pivoted; We’re using acoustic telemetry to monitor their progress; Between the Delaware and Ottawa River; Sorry I don’t want to bore you
Ilya: you are not; what are you finding?
Shane: Essentially the Delaware is pretty untouched; It’s the longest free flowing river in the eastern US; But the Ottawa has 19 dams which don’t support the migration at all; So they’re building eel ladders to help!
Ilya: ladders?
Shane: Yes; Like this; It takes several years for them to be used though; The population is in major decline
Ilya: you cannot tell me they are not water snakes; all wiggly
Shane: Still definitely not reptiles
Ilya: hmm; okay i believe; only because your pretty marine biologist
Shane: *You’re
Ilya: not denying the pretty; my flight is now; then practise and game this evening
Shane: Safe flight and have fun!
Ilya: not fun; we play Montreal when back home; coach will be in bad mood; florida is easy but montreal
Shane: You did lose the last two games against them
Ilya: keeping track jane; i do not need to say ottawa record
Shane: They’re trying okay; You could join them
Ilya: they could not afford me
Ilya: are you going to wish me luck?; i think good luck pic
Shane: No; Sorry; My mum is a Montreal fan
Ilya: boo; bad taste must run in family
Shane: Does your family support Boston then?
Ilya: no they are dead
Shane: I’m sorry; I didn’t know
Ilya: no is okay; even when alive they would not be fan
Shane: Really?
Ilya: maybe my mama; i think she'd be proud
Shane: I’m certain she would; You are a really talented player; I mean your stats are just amazing
Ilya: maybe I should pull the dead mama card more often
Shane: Please don’t; I just
Ilya: it’s okay; thank you
Shane: You’re welcome; A little bit good luck for today; Only a little
Ilya: i will take a little Jane
Shane: You played really well
Ilya: not well enough
Shane: Sorry
Shane: Hi; No Anya update today?
Shane: Nice goal today
Shane: Is everything okay?
Shane: Sorry if I said something wrong
Ilya: lazy day for us
Shane: Cute
Ilya: sorry for no reply; was not happy about game
Shane: That’s fine; I’m sure you’re too busy to text me usually
Ilya: i like talking to you
Shane: Even about eels
Ilya: especially about boring eels
Shane: I didn’t call them boring
Ilya: oops
Shane: What are you doing for Christmas?
Ilya: here; in boston
Shane: Nice; Could I maybe get your address; Just wanted to send Anya a present; No worries if not; I realise that sounds weird; You don’t have to give me your address at all; You probably get some crazy people
Ilya: no is okay; i trust you; is 240 Devonshire St #Mcph1b, Boston, MA 02110; yours?
Shane: Why would I give you my address?
Ilya: so I can send you present also, is only fair
Shane: That’s not necessary
Ilya: come on jane
Shane: …
Ilya: please Shane
Shane: I’ll be at my parents; They have a cabin outside Ottawa; I usually go there
Ilya: can I have there address?
Shane: *their; I guess; It’s 1 Woodland Drive Mcnab/braeside, Ontario K0A 1G0; It’s snowing there now
Ilya: sounds nice
Shane: It is
Shane: Home for Christmas
Ilya: how will the eels survive without you
Shane: They enter a torpor; It’s like a hibernation state; They burrow into the mud and just wait until it warms up again; You weren’t actually questioning were you?
Ilya: no; but that is cool; why not same as hibernation
Shane: Hibernation is the long form of it; Usually an entire season; Whereas this could be as little as a few hours
Ilya: okie
Shane: You know you don’t have to pretend like you’re interested; You can just tell me if I’m annoying
Ilya: i do not find you annoying Shane
Shane: Really
Ilya: i promise
Ilya: did you get every sea dog toy?; also days since poisoned 20
Shane: Oh technically they’re all paleozoic creatures; I couldn’t find any eels so I went prehistoric
Ilya: jane; these words
Shane: Oh; Basically they are all fossils; From before the dinosaurs; When life first diversified in the sea; I mean took on other forms like evolution
Ilya: okay; i save for next time in new york
Shane: What?
Ilya: better than dinosaur; i will call him paleozoic
Shane: I mean; It didn’t end well; The paleozoic era was ended by an extinction that wiped out 96% of marine species
Ilya: even better
Shane: It’s called the Permian-Triassic extinction event
Ilya: you are distracting me jane; with fun facts; i was trying to say thank you
Shane: Oh you’re very welcome; I hope she enjoys them; I’m not wearing that
Ilya: but you’d look so pretty; did you see other present?
Shane: Ilya????; What is this?
Ilya: you said funding was problem so i donated; at Canadian Wildlife Federation yes
Shane: You donated 250k!; That is not normal
Ilya: it was that or new porsche
Shane: Well I mean that’s definitely better for the environment; But it is crazy money
Ilya: is okay; happy christmas
Shane: Happy Christmas Ilya!
Ilya: she is spoilt girl today
Shane: I think she deserves it!; Especially after the poisoning
Ilya: do not remind me; i am seeing that friend today
Shane: Nice!; Maybe not for Anya
Ilya: it will be okay; iam there too
Shane: For Christmas?
Ilya: yes Marly invited me to join his family for meal; think he feels bad
Shane: I’m glad you’re going out!
Ilya: yes; i think I am too; they got russian food in
Shane: Is it good?
Ilya: yes; not as good as my mamas though; what about you?
Shane: I think you’d think it’s boring; Just a meal and then board games; And hot chocolate
Ilya: monopoly?
Shane: No it’s banned on our household; My mother gets too competitive; Same for pictionary and yahtzee
Ilya: what can you play?
Shane: Only scrabble; But they don’t let me put species names in; Say it’s an unfair advantage
Ilya: sounds like sore losers
Shane: Exactly
Ilya: tell me more about yourself
Shane: There’s not much more to know
Ilya: so you live in ottawa?
Shane: Yes; I grew up here
Ilya: but not with your parents
Shane: No they live at the cabin; It's not far
Ilya: your parents have a nice place
Shane: What??
Ilya: i may have looked up when you sent address
Shane: So you're the creep
Ilya: haha; maybe; no girlfriend or boyfriend?
Shane: I'm not gay; And no
Ilya: why
Shane: My work tends to put people off; I had an ex who found it super irritating
Ilya: why; it is interesting
Shane: Not boring?
Ilya: maybe only a little bit; but i like boring; I think is nice to have passion; attractive
Shane: Really?; She said I was more interested in eels than our relationship
Ilya: well i doubt she was an endangered species
Shane: What?; Sophie
Ilya: common; not like the eels
Shane: Not like the eels indeed; What are your passions?
Ilya: i don't know
Shane: Hockey?
Ilya: maybe once; not anymore; hockey was a ticket out of russia; i was talented so i like it; but i do not love it maybe
Shane: Oh; That's sad
Ilya: you love your job
Shane: Yes; A lot; Probably too much
Ilya: i do not think so; it is good to care; i like fast cars and parties; but i think sometimes it is little bit fake; like surface
Shane: Superficial?
Ilya: yes this one; but now i have new interest in eels
Shane: Because of me
Ilya: only because of you; I have also learned about right whale
Shane: It’s not looking good for them; They’re critically endangered; It’s actually really upsetting
Ilya: Yes; They migrate through bay in Spring; Like the bird you said before; I went to talk at aquarium and sponsored whale
Shane: That’s so cool
Ilya: i chose boomerang
Shane: ?
Ilya: her name; my whale
Shane: That's amazing Ilya
Ilya: yes; made me happy
Ilya: i asked about you and only got 1 answer
Shane: That's not my fault
Ilya: we play game; like 21 questions
Shane: Okay...
Ilya: have to be honest; i ask question every day
Shane: Okay...
Ilya: i start; if you can be any animal what would you be?
Shane: Uhm; Maybe a platypus; They're such a strange species; Semiaquatic and an egg laying mammal is such a cool mix
Ilya: in a world with cool fast animals you chose weird taxidermy duck rat
Shane: Taxidermy; Big word; Okay what would you choose?
Ilya: bear
Shane: Of course it is
Ilya: if you were not marine biologist what would you do?
Shane: good morning to you too; i guess probably play hockey
Ilya: what?
Shane: I made the draft; But went to uni and realised i loved my degree more than hockey
Ilya: you were good?
Shane: Yes; But it was a lot of pressure; It was too much
Ilya: maybe we would have played together
Shane: Maybe; Or maybe we would have been rivals; Montreal was interested
Ilya: boo; i am glad you choose eels; over bad team
Shane: They're not bad!; They're one of the best
Ilya: i don't mean skill; i mean players; they are not so nice
Shane: What do you mean?
Ilya: hockey is hockey; drapeau is arsehole
Shane: Hayden says he isn't great
Ilya: you know pike; 15th best player in metros
Shane: That's rude; We're friends
Ilya: boo; how?
Shane: He went to McGill with me; We played on the Redbirds together
Ilya: you played for uni team?
Shane: Like I said I was pretty good; It was just too much
Ilya: i see
Ilya: you studied at McGill?
Shane: Yes I did my bachelors in biodiversity and conservation and then my masters at Dalhousie in marine management
Ilya: very clever
Shane: Thank you; How do you find Boston?
Ilya: i like it; have you been?
Shane: No; I'd like to
Ilya: i could show you around
Shane: Maybe
Ilya: it is very pretty here; in russia it is very grey; lots more colour here
Shane: Does it feel like home?
Ilya: yes i suppose; it has to
Ilya: what is your favourite food?
Shane: I'm not really a food person
Ilya: impossible
Shane: I'm on this modified macrobiotic diet; So I just tend to stick to that
Ilya: what do you eat?
Shane: Lots of grains; Sometimes with chicken sometimes with salmon; No carbs
Ilya: no carbs; that is depressing; no maccies?
Shane: No I don't eat fast food
Ilya: boring; nothing better than a hungover mcgriddle
Shane: I'll take your word for it; You're a professional athlete I'm amazed your nutritionist doesn't have a problem with it
Ilya: reminder; fueled by mcgriddles; why do you eat funny diet?
Shane: It was for hockey
Ilya: but you don't play anymore
Shane: Yeah; I just never stopped; Guess I liked the discipline
Ilya: makes sense for you
Shane: What's that supposed to mean?
Shane: My turn; Why do you still text me?
Ilya: i am bored
Shane: Don't bother then
Ilya: it is joke jane
Shane: ...
Ilya: shane; sorry
Read 10:25
Ilya: i like talking to you; is nice not hearing about hockey sometimes; and i find you interesting
Shane: Now I know you're being sarcastic
Ilya: im not; you are interesting person shane; honest
Shane: Oh thank you
Shane: Do you have plans tonight?
ilya: yes boston new year is big; lots of fireworks; maybe bar maybe club; but something
Shane: Sounds nice
Ilya: you?
Shane: Oh not really; Not a fan of fireworks; The bylaws are pretty strict here; It's good
Ilya: Okay
Ilya
Shane: Happy New Year Ilya!
Ilya: jane; shaen; shane; i miss yuo; :(; yourr pretyy
Shane: Thank you
Ilya: The prettyest
Shane: Are you drunk?
Ilya: nyet; russiands dont do this
Shane: Really?
Ilya: Mayeb a littel
Shane: Have you had any water?
Ilya: vodka
Shane: Are you alone?; Are you with friends?
Ilya: nt allone shane
Shane: They'll get you home safe?
Ilya: suer; theyll coem home with em
Shane: Oh; Do you know them?; Like before tonight?
Ilya: nyet
Shane: Maybe that's not the best idea?; You seem pretty drunk to be honest
Ilya: aks me nto ot
Shane: What?
Ilya: aks me not to; shane
Shane: Oh; Don't take her home with you?
Ilya: nicerr
Shane: Please don't take her home with you...
Ilya: okie; i gte taxi
Shane: That's good; Get home safe; Can you let me know when you get in?
Ilya: home
Shane: I'm glad
Ilya: miss yuo
Shane: You've never met me
Ilya: woudl liek to; prety boy
Shane: Have some water and go to bed
Ilya: ys sir
Shane: Goodnight
Ilya: nijht
Shane: Good morning; How's the hangover?
Ilya: russians do not get this
Shane: Really?
Ilya: is liar; liar who sent that
Shane: Okay...; You really shouldn't drink that much; Especially if you're not with friends
Ilya: i was; but new year; they all go to there girlfriends; boring
Shane: It's still dangerous; I mean you're kinda famous, isn't it risky taking girls home
Ilya: its funny
Shane: What?
Ilya: i never said she
Shane: Oh
Shane: I'm sorry; I shouldn't have presumed yesterday; It was rude of me
Ilya: is okay shane; i do not how you say; advertise
Shane: Yeah makes sense; What with hockey
Ilya: yes; and russia; mostly hockey though
Shane: Oh yeah of course; I doubt the league would take it well; It's partly why I quit
Ilya: hockey?
Shane: Someone spread rumours in my second year; I had a friend who was a figure skater; And the team didn't take it well
Ilya: i thought maybe you got injured and didn't want to admit
Shane: No; Just had a complete breakdown; It was pick hockey and be miserable; Or eels
Ilya: i think eels was good choice
Shane: So do I
Ilya: anya update
Shane: Why did you get her?
Ilya: my friend made me; she called her 'don't kill yourself dog'
Shane: I'm glad you did; Got her I mean
Ilya: she is good for me; it hard to be sad when she is so happy to see me everyday; sometimes it gets too quiet in off season you know
Shane: That makes sense; You seemed a bit sad last month
Ilya: is just not good time of year for me
Shane: You know 'm always here right; We're friends right; So you can text me anytime
Ilya: thank you; i have to go now; practise
Shane: Okay
Ilya: good morning
Shane: You're up early; Busy day?
Ilya: yes; travel
Shane: For All Stars?
Ilya: you are fan; i knew it
Shane: Yes you know I'm a hockey fan
Ilya: *Rozanov fan
Shane: ...; At this point it's more like an *Ilya fan
Ilya: so you will wear my jersey?
Shane: No; That's too far; Not that much of a fan
Ilya: what are you up to?
Shane: Gym
Ilya: pic?
Shane: Not very exciting; Just went for a run as it's a desk day at work
Ilya: jane; this is evil; mr I don't send pictures
Shane: Sorry?
Ilya: i forgive; if you send more pics?
Shane: Haha no way; I've left now; Have a safe flight
Ilya: jane...; please; :(; landed
Shane: How's Vegas?
Ilya: hot; team is good; east vs west so good split
Shane: Wait
Ilya: do not say it
Shane: Hunter is your captain!
Ilya: i will block
Shane: No you won't
Ilya: i won't
Shane: Good luck
Ilya: game is on at 3
Shane: I know; We'll have it on at work
Ilya: what about the eels?
Shane: I'm sure they'll live
Ilya: wow; big words; from eel man
Shane: I thought we'd left that one behind
Ilya: you wish; would you prefer pretty boy?
Shane: I'd prefer Shane
Ilya: boo
Shane: Congrats; You were amazing; That goal in the second period was beautiful; I guess you're out celebrating
Read 21:47
Ilya: i won
Shane: I saw!; Though technically East won
Ilya: my goals; not Hunters
Shane: I guess that's true
Ilya: do I get a reward?
Shane: What do you want?
Ilya: more pics
Shane: Today's subject
Ilya: very nice but; maybe less eel more jane; please
*Shane: Only because you asked nicely; Lunch today
Ilya: thank you pretty boy; you were with rose?
Shane: Yes; You remembered her name
Ilya: yes I remember when pretty boy i am texting sends me picture with girlfriend
Shane: *Exgirlfriend; Important distinction
Ilya: if you say so; you look very good
Shane: Thank you
Ilya: are you going to ask me not to bring someone back tonight?
Shane: Would you like me to?
Read 22:55: Please don't; If you don't mind of course
Ilya: okay
Shane: Good morning; When do you fly back?
Ilya: very good morning; today at 2
Shane: You aren't hungover?
Ilya: i did not go out; you see i have problem
Shane: What is it?
Ilya: a pretty canadian who i cannot say no too
Shane: Do you want the problem to go away?
Read 9:55
Ilya: never; i always want to have this problem