Chapter Text
“Mom.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m pregnant.”
If the situation had been different Rory may have laughed at the expression on her mother’s face. It was a mixture of surprise, fear, and confusion. Rory didn’t see anger in the mix but then again she’d only shared her news seconds earlier – the anger would probably come later.
“Excuse me?” Lorelai asked somewhere above a whisper.
“I’m,” Rory started to repeat herself but her mother held her hand up, stopping her.
“No, I heard you, never mind. Don’t say it again.”
Rory swallowed, willing the tears away. Her throat felt like it was closing up and she felt sick to her stomach. She hadn’t been prone to morning sickness, at least not yet, so she could only assume the feeling had everything to do with the fact that she was telling her mother she was pregnant - on her wedding day no less.
No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Rory wanted to say something but she couldn’t figure out what. Lorelai had never been one to stay silent for long but Rory could almost see the wheels turning in her head, thoughts spinning like a bicycle.
Finally, after what felt like days but had only been minutes, she spoke.
“You thought now was the best time to tell me?”
Rory shoulders sagged and she let out a breath she didn’t know she'd been holding. “I wasn’t planning on telling you now, it just sort of happened.”
Lorelai nodded, still clearly processing Rory’s news. “How far along?”
“I haven’t been to the doctor yet but about seven weeks.”
The silence continued and Rory’s eyes watered. She should not have done this now. After the secret wedding last night, everything had been perfect. Her mother had never been happier. Today, she would celebrate in front of the whole town and her family and friends. Rory had placed this burden on her selfishly.
Several more minutes passed with Rory staring at her mother and her mother staring straight ahead.
“Do you want to know who the father is?” Rory asked quietly, wringing her hands together. It was a cold morning and she wished she had a jacket.
“Oh, so you do know who it is?” Her mother asked, somewhat harshly. Rory sucked in a breath and her eyes watered. Here was the anger.
“That’s not fair.” She whispered, her voice cracking.
Lorelai took a deep breath, finally turning to meet Rory’s gaze. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I just don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised about anything in my entire life.”
“Even when you found out you were pregnant with me?”
“Even then.”
Rory sighed. She knew they’d get through this but she wanted to get to that point now. She hated this part and she knew it was only the beginning.
“Let’s walk home.” Lorelai said suddenly, standing and moving down the steps of the gazebo.
Rory followed, increasing her pace to keep up with her mother. She didn’t want to push her to talk more but she also was ready to burst.
“Mom,” Rory said, linking her arm with her mother’s. When Lorelai didn’t pull away Rory breathed a sigh of relief. “Please say something. I know this is a shock and I know it’s bad timing and I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. The words literally just flew out of my mouth before I even realized what was happening. It’s like, instinctively I know I shouldn’t have brought it up now but my brain needs you to be in on the secret so that I can really comprehend what’s going on.”
Again, Rory saw a million different emotions cross Lorelai’s face. Rory knew, realistically, that she was trying to process and that Rory was not giving her time to do so. Rory had been equally surprised when she had taken the pregnancy test and seen a positive sign. Sure, she’d had a few days longer to think things through but she couldn’t really digest this huge, life-changing news until she was able to have a conversation with her mother. As hard as this was, for both women, they needed to talk. That’s what they did, they talked, and so even though Rory may have been going about this the wrong way, it was the only way she could think of.
“Do I know the father?” Lorelai asked. Not what Rory had expected but it was a start.
“Yes.” She answered simply.
“Is it who I think it is?”
“I don’t know who you think it is.”
“I can’t say the name.”
“Why?”
“Because then it’s real and my biggest fears are confirmed.”
Rory’s brows wrinkled in confusion. “Mom, wait, what?”
“Does the name start with an ‘L’ and end with an ‘N’?” Lorelai asked, squeezing her eyes shut even though she continued to walk.
Clarity hit Rory immediately. She had been silly. Of course her mother would think that. The last they’d spoken about Rory’s love life she had been a complete idiot, sleeping with her engaged, ex-boyfriend.
“No!” Rory exclaimed. She stopped in her tracks and put her hands on Lorelai’s upper arms effectively turning her so the two women faced each other. “Mom, stop. Look at me.”
Lorelai met her daughter’s eyes, both relief and confusion written on her face. “Who then? Not that Pete guy?”
“Paul, and God, no.” Rory answered quickly.
Lorelai now looked only exasperated. “Rory, I don’t know who else it could be that I know.”
Rory took a deep breath but made sure to look her mother in the eye as she shared the news. “Mom, it’s Jess.”
Seven weeks earlier
It was clear that summer had officially turned into fall as the sun was starting to set earlier and the evenings were not quite as warm as they had been. Rory had put a long day in at the Stars Hollow Gazette and she was ready to head home. It was Friday and she was in desperate need of the weekend. She shut the door, turning to lock the many deadbolts. Break ins were rare in Stars Hollow, and even if they weren’t, Rory couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to break into the old newspaper office. She spent far too much of her day locking and unlocking this door.
“Hey there,” she heard from behind her.
She whipped around, the ring of keys jingling in her hand as she did so.
“Jess,” she said breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in town to help out Liz and TJ with something but that fell through so now I’m just hanging around waiting to have dinner with Luke tonight,” he answered shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I don’t see you for four years and then I see you twice in as many months?” She joked. She was nervous she realized and she never could understand why. Every time she saw Jess she got that way – even when his name was mentioned in conversation her stomach did weird flip flops that she couldn’t quite figure out. It was easier to ignore them when she never saw him, but now that she was back in Stars Hollow and clearly he spent some time here, it was becoming increasingly harder.
“What’s going on?” He asked. “Find your underwear yet?”
She laughed and her face heated slightly. The fact that she had ever even mentioned her underwear to Jess was a clear indicator that she was losing her mind.
“I’m so sorry about last time I saw you,” she answered, lowering her eyes. “I hate that you saw me like that. Again.”
He shrugged and kept eye contact with her the entire time. He was so cool and confident. A lot of things may have changed about Jess over the years but that was not one of them. “Better that than pretending everything’s good when it’s not.”
“Maybe, but the fact that I’ve seen you a handful of times in the last ten years and most of those times I’ve been a complete head case is just embarrassing.”
“Are things any better?” He asked, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. The sun continued to go down and the temperature dropped with it.
Were things better? She wished she could say they were but she had a feeling it would be a long time before she actually felt okay with the direction of her life. Should she lie? Because what she had said was true – being anything but perfect in front of Jess was losing its appeal. Things were over with Logan and she had finally broken things off with Paul. So sure, her love life, while not necessarily good also wasn’t the complete disaster it had been when she’d seen him earlier in the summer. She’d outlined the book he’d suggested she’d write which was exciting, but things with her mom were not okay ever since she’d shared the news that she was writing about their life. She was still working for free at the Stars Hollow Gazette which kept her busy but also broke.
“They aren’t worse,” she said trying but failing to meet his eyes as she did so.
He was silent for a minute and she wondered if he was trying to figure out what to say. Jess had never held back from her before so she hoped he’d be honest with her now. His honesty was refreshing and something she’d come to expect from him – even if the things he said hit way to close to home sometimes.
“Meet me for a drink later,” He said, surprising her. “I’m having dinner with Luke at eight but I could meet you around 10?”
A drink with Jess? Did she want to do that? That left them way too much time to talk and she was sick of talking about herself. Then again, she always felt better after spending time with Jess even if it was just a simple conversation.
“Secret bar?” She responded with a smile.
He smirked and shook his head. “I can’t even grasp that concept.”
She laughed spinning around to make sure she had turned all of the locks. When she was confident all was secure, she turned back to him slipping the key ring into her purse. “I went to watch Lane and Zach play the other night and luckily Taylor never walked by so it almost felt like we were at a real bar. It didn’t feel as secretive as I thought it would.”
“How unfortunate,” He said sarcastically but with his signature smirk pasted on his face. “I’ll meet you there at 10?”
She nodded and watched him back away from her. “Sounds good.”
He waved and turned walking down the street in the direction of Luke’s. She watched him for a minute before turning in the direction of Lane’s. She had been staying there until the dust settled between her and her mother. Lorelai had called to let her know she was going to do ‘Wild’ but she’d given Rory no room for questions or comments. Rory had hung up the phone speechless and confused. Luke was no help, giving her one word answers and some mumbo jumbo about how everything was fine when clearly it was not. All texts to her mother had gone unanswered and all calls had went straight to voicemail.
A drink (or two) with Jess might just be the thing she needed to relax and forget about the shit show her life was.
One could hope.