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It was the end of the world and all he could think was:
This is usually the part where you’re meant to kiss, right?
The thought went through Ralsei’s mind almost unwittingly, an unpleasant, unwelcome visitor. They were sitting beside each other on the beach, watching the horizon rip itself apart. The moment of terror had passed already. All that was left was a numb, relentless certainty.
The Roaring. He failed. They all did. And now, it was the end of the world.
“Y’know, I really didn’t think it’d actually happen.” He glanced to them, a brief smile flashing across his tired face. Kris was bloodied and hurt beyond all repair, the bandaged stump which once was their arm leaking black droplets of blood. And yet, they seemed perfectly calm, almost… content.
“...I honestly believed we could have stopped it,” he sighed in response, his voice trembling even despite his dissociated state of mind. The two heroes were silent for a moment, both gazing in contemplation at the crimson red skyline. A horrible scream pierced the air, sirens rang out in Hometown, the sounds of people fleeing for their lives rumbling in the distance. They paid no mind to it. No way to help them anyway.
Then, looking at him with a smirk, Kris added:
“Well, if this is it… I’m glad to spend it with you.” And he was too. It was still too painful to even think about Susie right now, but since she wasn’t here, he’d take any comfort he could. If Kris weren’t by his side through all this, he’d probably have broken down already, praying and begging for a Father who will never come to save him. But with them here, the apocalypse felt surprisingly calm. And again, that mocking, childish voice at the back of his head, sounding suspiciously like Flowery, whispered:
This is the moment where you go for the kiss, dumbass.
Screw you, Flowery.
I’m not Flowery. I’m you, princess.
“You know, Kris… I wanted to tell you this for so long. As long as we had been friends, probably.” He was about as caught off-guard by his words as Kris was. They gave him a look, the smirk gone from their face — instead replaced by a careful, attentive expression which he couldn’t quite decipher.
Tell him, Raly.
How come you get to be my inner voice of all people?
Probably because you hate me, bud’.
…shut up.
“Yeah, come to think of it — “ they said, scratching their hair with their remaining hand. Ralsei’s heart skipped a couple of beats. Were they really…?
Kris glanced away, suddenly too embarrassed to finish. He started giggling.
“What’s so funny, Rals’?” And then, he just kept laughing. He couldn’t stop. He huddled in on himself, trying to contain it. He couldn’t quite breathe. Through the tears of laughter, he blurted out:
“It’s just — it’s the end of the fucking world — and we’re acting like — lovesick teenagers!” It should have felt good to finally swear properly for the first time, it should have felt liberating, climactic. It didn’t.
Kris watched him with some concern, but they said nothing. Eventually, he came out of his fear-induced delirium, wheezing pathetically for air. He wiped the tears off his face with a small chuckle.
“S-sorry about that. I don’t really know what — “ They shrugged.
“You don’t have to apologize, man.” The two of them went quiet for a while, only the sounds of the apocalypse humming almost gently in the background.
“It’s just really fucking unfair.” Ralsei turned to look at them, a puzzled look on his face. They continued, a blush creeping its way up their neck:
“I kinda wish we could’ve — just been those two lovesick teenagers. No prophecy. No apocalypse. If we’d met at like… school, or something. In a random diner. In a parking lot. We could have been — we could have had…“ Their voice trailed off. He simply kept gazing at them, his throat tight.
“Kris, I — “ They were sitting right there, shoulder to his shoulder. And be it the blood dripping down the remainder of their arm, or the everconsuming melancholy welling up inside him, he suddenly felt so very, very warm. Their smile was so bright and so bitter, their eyes, gentle and careworn were the only thing that seemed to matter. Nothing else was real. Not the Roaring, not the Titans emerging from the black, not the Prophecy. Only this small, impeccable moment between two people sitting on a beach.
All he had to do was… say it. But it slowly dawned on him that he had no idea what he wanted to say.
How the HELL was he meant to describe this? Who was he to confine such a terrifying, tangled mess of emotions to words? Really, what was he meant to say?
I care for you in a way that transcends me?
I wanted to spend the rest of my days with you?
I wanted to come home and see you there, just reading on the couch, playing piano?
I want to hold you tight, feel your hands grip mine, feel your warmth beside me?
I love your whole person, the way you grin when you make a bad pun, the way you whisper swears under your breath, the way you look at the people you hold dear?
I don’t love you — not in the way you usually love people — I love you — but not like Noelle loves Susie, not like your parents once loved each other — I love you in a way so strange and alien that I have no idea how to express it?
And that, though I know you would never ask me to, I would love you in any way you wanted me to, just to BE with you?
There was something gaping, yearning, wretched inside of him, a pit at the bottom of his chest which only they could fill — and he couldn’t find the words to tell them. He felt like he was going to scream in pure desperation.
But then — he simply let his head fall on their shoulder. They didn’t move an inch..
“I love you, Kris. Do you know that?” He could hear them snicker.
“...I do. If things were…” — they gesticulated sarcastically towards the rising pillar of darkness beyond the horizon — “...different, would you have liked to — “
“I would have. I would,” Ralsei whispered, closing his eyes. Kris let out a gentle sigh.
“Well. Glad to hear that.”
And then the darkness enveloped them both.