Chapter Text
11:47 AM
It’s early in the day when Trinity is first awoken to what a shitshow this day will be.
It starts with the family member of little Mazie Stewart who tries to get Trinity’s attention by grabbing her around the waist.
Trinity feels the firm, gripping hands grab either side of her hips and slowly pull her back. “Will she be okay, Doctor?”
Feeling her hands slightly shake, she whips her head around to meet the bright blue eyes of a larger man staring at her. It felt familiar… too familiar. The eyes, the man, but especially the hands.
“I…” Her voice cuts out. “I don’t know.”
And with that, Trinity walks out of the room, fast. As she turns the corner, she walks directly into Robby’s broad shoulder.
“Hey, Santos.” He looks down at her. She looks paler than usual. “You alright, kid?”
Trinity looks up at him, confused. “Yep,” she says automatically, jogging off again in the direction of the bathrooms.
Robby would have followed her if he hadn’t gotten paged, but he was sure to add this occurrence to the mental log to bring up another time.
Just not now.
⸻
12:02 PM
Trinity comes out of the bathroom stall and splashes cold water over her face. She looks up and watches as the water drips from her face into the basin.
Trinity reminds herself of three things as she walks out.
You’re safe.
You’re free.
You’re in the ED.
You’re safe.
You’re free.
You’re in the ED.
You’re safe.
You’re free.
You’re in the ED.
By the time she pushes through the doors, her expression is unreadable again.
The mask has slipped back into place.
Robby is sat on a chair beside Dana when he looks at Trinity, offers a small nod, and gets back to his charting.
⸻
1:49 PM
The rest of the day had been absolute chaos. In an hour, Trinity would have bet she had seen over thirty patients.
Seeing this craziness, none other than Jack Abbott came in early to help day shift. And to see his husband, Michael, obviously.
It didn’t take Abbott long to notice something was off. In the department. With Robby. With Trinity.
“Hey, Michael! Come here a sec.”
Jack directed Robby over to an on-call room to raise his suspicions.
Once the door was closed, Jack began to speak again.
“What’s up with you today, man? The whole energy in this place is off. It just feels odd.”
Robby sighed.
“It’s just… I’m worried.”
“What about?”
Robby locked eyes with Jack.
“Trinity.” He paused. “There’s something wrong with her. I’ve been seeing it for a while now. Remember after Adamson died? I was heavily depressed and wanted everything to end. To be honest, I still do now sometimes, but now I can see it in her more than ever, and I just… I don’t know, man. I’m scared.”
“Would you like me to talk to her? I feel as if we have a good connection.”
This was true. Trinity and Abbott always got along on account of the sarcasm.
“Yes, please. Now I’ve got to get out there. Love you.”
He gave his husband a hug and was off.
Jack didn’t have to look far. He turned his head, and there she was.
Trinity Santos.
Three charts under her arm and a coffee in the other hand.
“Santos.”
She glanced over her shoulder to her right.
“Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence.”
“Missed me, eh?” he said with a sly smirk.
“Not particularly. Mostly missed the extra hands, to be honest.”
“Ouch.”
Blunt and cold.
As a joke.
Now even Jack could tell something was off.
When Trinity smiled at him, it didn’t reach her eyes. She was pale and looked thin.
She looked… empty.
Trinity kept walking, and behind her Jack trailed along before slightly jogging to catch up.
“Sooo…” he dragged out the “o.” “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
She turned to face him.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been weird all day.”
She scoffed.
“Gosh forbid a girl works.”
Trinity started walking again with Abbott beside her until she reached her next patient’s room.
“Abbott, I’m fine. Really,” she said firmly.
“Hm.”
She looked back up at him, his arms now crossed over his chest.
“What?” she breathed.
“I’ve worked with you long enough to know that whenever you decide to call me Abbott instead of Jack, you’re trying to put distance between us. So either you’re mad at me, or something else is going on.”
“Fine, you got me.”
Jack was hopeful now.
“I slept like shit last night.”
Fuck!
Jack thought.
She still wouldn’t admit it.
He knew damn well she wasn’t just tired.
This tension was abruptly ended by the shouting of Princess in Central 11.
“Paediatric arrest!”
Fuck.
Trinity knew that was Mazie’s room.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
⸻
2:21 PM
Central 11 was now silent.
The cardiac monitor had been switched off.
The blood pressure cuff remained beside the bed.
Mazie lay cold and still.
Trinity was familiar with death; she was a doctor, for crying out loud.
But this was different, in a way she couldn’t explain through words.
Maybe she would have reacted differently if this was any other day.
But it wasn’t.
So Trinity remained in Central 11, cleaning the counter beside the bed.
She heard the door click.
Someone was in the room.
She knew who it was.
The silence remained for a few minutes as Abbott just observed.
Until he spoke.
“You’ve been cleaning the same spot for…” He checked his watch. “Nine minutes.”
“It’s dirty,” she said automatically.
“It wasn’t,” he replied matter-of-factly.
Jack began to speak again.
“You did everything you could.”
“I know.”
He took a moment.
“You don’t sound like you believe that.”
Trinity laughed.
“Since when did you become a fucken therapist?”
“Since I’ve had a suicidal husband.”
This is what caught her attention.
She turned, and her green, red-rimmed eyes met Jack’s narrow ones.
“Hey. What are you implying?”
Her voice slowly became more aggravated.
“Never said you were. Just saying it’s okay to not be okay. Y’know.”
He sighed again, knowing he wasn’t going to win this battle.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s up with you.”
Silence.
“But you need to leave this room.”
So that’s what she did.
She turned and nodded at Abbott before walking out.
It was like Trinity was possessed by a robot.
The department kept moving.
So did Trinity.
One of them was alive.
The other, barely surviving.