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Tommy doesn't snoop or check in on his exes. It's not his business what they do. What he always forgets to do, though, is to unfollow them on social media. It's not like he uses it much, anyway. He only has Instagram because one time a few years ago, during a very long, q-word shift, one of his younger coworkers decided be absolutely needed an account, and she had some compelling arguments so he didn't argue.
He followed Evan when they got together, and after the break up, he just didn't even open the app, didn't think about it. He's old, he doesn't follow all of today's dating "etiquette" that apparently includes social media and unfollowing each other after breaking up.
And then when he actually did open the app, he didn't see any posts from Evan, so, again, didn't think about it. His feed is always full of the most random things, he tends to follow an account after liking a single post, then never unfollows. He's not sure he ever clicked the unfollow button since he got the app.
But then today — today, June first, start of pride month. He opens the app during downtime at work, just to mindlessly scroll out of boredom. The first post he sees makes his breath catch and his heart beat a little faster, because it's a picutre of Evan. More specifically, Evan's smiling face, wearing a t-shirt with the bisexual flag on it, and the caption says "Happy Pride🏳️🌈"
Tommy smiles at the sight. He still remembers their conversation during their first date, and he kind of wants to laugh. Before he thinks too much about it, he likes the post — he's pretty sure it's against the unwritten "rules" to like an ex's post, but anyway.
He doesn't think about it much when he types out "glad to see you're still such a great ally 😉🏳️🌈" and posts the comment. Then he clicks on Evan's profile, and almost laughs when he sees a rainbow emoji in his bio. Tommy checks out the last few posts, just out of curiosity, to see what he's been up to. He already popped up on his feed for once, Tommy might as well look around a little.
He doesn't find much, barely a few posts since they broke up, and only three recent — understandably, with everything that happened, posting on social media was probably the last thing on his mind. There are two selfies, one alone, one with Jee-Yun and a newborn — Tommy knows that's Howie's second kid. There's a gym mirror photo, because of course there is — and he looks damn good, showing off his muscles, all sweaty after a workout, and Tommy kinda wants to lick him — sue him, he's only human, and Evan is fucking hot. There's one more picture, from a few months after the funeral, of Evan and Bobby, a short but lovely goodbye in the caption. Tommy double taps that one to like it, as well.
Then the bell rings, and Tommy puts his phone away to get to work, and forgets about the comment he made.
That is, until he grabs his phone again a few hours later when he's getting ready to go home, and sees a new message notification from Instagram. He frowns as he opens the app, and is shocked to see Evan's username in his inbox. His heart beats a little faster when he clicks on the message to open it. He hasn't talked to Evan in so long, and he has no idea what to expect.
What he sees is a few messages sent in a short span of time. First is a response to his comment, a "haha, I will not live the ally comments down will I? Maddie keeps bringing it up too lol."
Then he proceeds to add:
"I can be bi and an ally at the same time tho!"
"didn't expect to see you in my notifications btw nice surprise 😉"
"you're probably at work so. it was nice hearing from you. have a good pride month!!" — it's the last message, and sort of sounds like the end of this very one-sided conversation, like he's not expecting a response. Tommy's not sure how he feels about that. He's not sure if he's supposed to respond or not. Technically he started this exchange, so maybe he should continue it. He kind of wants to. He's curious where it might lead. He also just missed talking to Evan.
"hi, Evan," Tommy types, then pauses, chews on his lip, wonders what he should say. He wants to say something, anything. Who knows if he's ever going to have an opportunity to talk to Evan again. He thinks about it for a few minutes, then continues the message, "honestly, I didn't plan to comment on your post, either😅 hope it's not too weird 😜 how are you doing?"
He's about to put the phone back in his pocket when it pings with a new notification again. He shakes his head and smiles as he opens the messages with Evan again. Wow, he responded fast.
Evan's message reads: "not weird at all! surprising but nice, and not weird, I promise. I'm good. better. it's been a tough few months but we're all getting by 😉 how have you been?"
Tommy responds immediately, as well. Quickly types out: "I'm fine. nothing much has been happening. work's good, im keeping busy. i got a cat. good old boring life 😂." He really wants to add that nothing more exciting than Evan has happened to him since they parted ways the last time, doesn't think will ever happen again, but he doesn't want to make it weird. Or, weirder than talking to your ex is anyway.
"come on, Tommy, you're anything but boring haha," is Evan's response, "but I need to see a picture of that cat."
Tommy sends one instantly, and is rewarded with a string of heart-eye emojis.
"her name's bailey," Tommy adds, knowing that Evan will get why. No one ever knew him as well as Evan. And that should tell him something, because he didn't let Evan get to know him all that well, either. And that was just one of their many issues. Maybe he should open up more, in the future. With someone else. Or not necessarily someone else, who knows? Well, he shouldn't get his hopes up just based off of one interaction, but his stupid heart still wants what it wants.
"that's so cute. she's so cute, I need to meet her," Evan sends, and Tommy doesn't know what to say to that. Did he mean that? Does he really want to just meet the cat? Or is that an excuse because he really wants to see Tommy? Or was that just a thoughtless thing to say that he didn't really mean, but now it's awkward? It's so stupid, it's such a nothing statement, but he's all worked up about it now.
There's a stretch of silence on both ends. Evan's isn't typing, Tommy isn't, either. He stands there, in the locker room at his station, phone in hand, staring at the message thread with Evan and wondering what in the hell does this all mean. He didn't mean to start anything up again. He shouldn't have. He already knows where this road leads, he's been here a couple of times now. There's just something about Evan that keeps pulling him back, even after months, even when he thinks he's healed and moved on. Evan is under his skin, lives in his head and heart, in every part of him, and no matter how much Tommy tries, he can't get rid of him.
He's vaguely aware of chatter around him, of coworkers saying goodbyes as they leave, but he's locked in on his phone, racking his brain to figure out what to say. And then he sees Evan typing. He types and types and types, and Tommy feels nervous, which is silly. He doesn't get nervous, ever. And this is just Evan.
He's not sure what he's expecting Evan to say, but he's surprised when the message finally comes through and it's just "if you can talk, can I call you?"
Tommy wants to hear his voice. He prefers talking to texting, anyway, but right now he specifically wants Evan's voice, his adorable laugh, the way he says Tommy's name, the lower voice and playful lilt when he was feeling flirty. God, Tommy misses him. He doesn't think twice about it.
"yeah. just leaving work, give me ten minutes," Tommy responds and hurries up with changing and packing his stuff.
He's in his car, overthinking this entire interaction, and wondering if he should just drop it, when his phone rings in his hand, Evan's name lighting up the screen. Tommy glances at the clock, it's been exactly ten minutes since he sent that last messaege. He smiles, as he answers, the thought of declining not even crossing his mind.
"Hey," he says into the phone, his heart pounding in his ears.
"Hi, Tommy," Evan says quietly, then chuckles. Tommy melts a little at the sound. "God, I haven't heard your voice is so long."
"Yeah, it's-" Tommy clears his throat. He doesn't want this to be awkward, but it's bound to be. "It's been a while. Who would've thought we'd reconnect over an Instagram post?" He laughs.
"I gotta say, I think you're my only ex who not only still follows me, but likes and comments on my posts," Evan says with amusement.
"Well, I'm not great at all this social media crap," Tommy says, a little defensive, very amused. "Was I supposed to unfollow you?"
"No," Evan says quickly, "I'm glad you didn't. It's cute, you're cute, uh-" he chuckles nervously again, before changing the subject. "So, happy pride!"
"Yeah, happy pride, Evan," Tommy smiles, leans his head against the headrest. "I'm glad to see you're so openly celebrating."
"Yeah, I- I feel good. I feel proud, I guess," he huffs out a laugh. "It's been a ride, but now I feel like me," he sounds so at ease as he's saying this, and Tommy's heart swells. Seems like he finally figured himself out and is embracing it. That's all Tommy wanted for him.
"That's good. I'm happy for you," he says earnestly.
"And a lot of it is thanks to you," Evan adds quickly, "without you, I'd never even realize I'm bi," he laughs.
"I'm sure you would've, at some point. Some guy would catch your eye eventually," Tommy smiles wryly. Even months later, he hates the thought of Evan with someone else. He gets jealous, Evan knows that. Even if Evan isn't his anymore, and he has no right to be jealous.
"Not the way you did," he sighs, almost wistfully. Tommy's not sure what to say to that. He doesn't think anyone is ever going to get his attention the way Evan did, either. The way he still does. "But yeah, these last few months have been a lot, and I've had lots of time to reflect, and I know myself better now, and I- I know how I feel and what I want," he says with emphasis, and Tommy feels like it's meant to be a quip about their break-up, about the stuff Tommy said and implied. Now he knows that wasn't all true, that he was just overwhelmed and likely projecting a bit. But there was some truth to it.
"Like what?" He asks quietly, almost a whisper, a little scared of the answer. He's not sure where this is going, where Evan wants it to go. He's not sure what he wants to hear as an answer. The conversation feels heavy, tense, like it never used to be with Evan, and Tommy hates it. He doesn't know what he expected when Evan asked if he can call him, but certainly not this.
"I can tell you over dinner," Evan says, tone half-teasing, but Tommy can sense some nerves, too.
"Are you asking me out?" Tommy asks, equally teasingly, still unsure how far they're going, if this is just them joking around like old friends, or if it's something more. If they're really going there again. He never really knew where he stood with Evan.
"I think I am," he answers, and Tommy can hear the smile in his voice. "After all, I need to meet that adorable kitty," Evan says, bringing the conversation to the topic Tommy was expecting, what got them to this call. "So, when did you get it? Is it a boy or a girl? Can I meet her?" he starts asking, and if this was anyone else, Tommy might worry that he's just changing the subject to avoid a serious talk, but he knows better. He knows that not only Evan is genuinely interested, but he really wants to see the cat. And the serious conversation will wait for when they see each other in person.
"Uh, slow down," Tommy laughs. "She's a she, and I got her just about a month ago. And, uh, were you serious about that? You want to… hang out?" he asks cautiously, not sure what he hopes the answer is gonna be. A negative one might crash him.
"No, I wanna meet your cat one-on-one," Evan deadpans, "Come on, Tommy, of course I want to see you. The cat, too, but honestly, she makes it easier to make an excuse to see you," his voice is quieter, maybe a little shy and nervous, like he used to get at the beginning, when he'd get all flustered when Tommy flirted with him. "In case that wasn't clear, I really miss you," he adds even quieter.
"I miss you, too," Tommy admits, voice a whisper. "And I guess I want to see you too," he adds, and Evan chuckles quietly, "I just-" he takes a deep breath. He doesn't want to get hurt again, and he needs to make his expectations somewhat realistic. "Let's just agree to keep it casual. One step at a time, and we'll see where it goes, alright? No pressure."
"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. So, when can I see you?" Evan asks, and it's clear he's trying not to sound too eager.
"Are you free this Saturday? We could meet for coffee and then go to my place? You know, to meet the cat," Tommy suggests, wanting to keep things lowkey. This has a chance of being the most awkward last meeting with an ex to get some closure. Or it could result in getting back together with the love of his life. No pressure.
"Yeah, I can do Saturday. Sounds perfect," Evan answers, and Tommy can practically see him smiling. "Let's say noon?"
"Alright. Our usual place?" Tommy asks without thinking. They don't really have their usual anything anymore, but somehow the coffee shop near his house that they used to frequent together is still their place in Tommy's mind.
"It's a date. I'll see you then," he says, not even trying to contain the anticipation in his voice.
"Okay. See you," Tommy smiles, only now remembering he's still in the parking lot in front of his station.
"And don't be a stranger in the meantime. I missed talking to you, I missed us," Evan adds, and Tommy's heart melt a little. He missed Evan so much, this one conversation is enough to bring him back to where he was a few months ago. Just on the brink of falling so deep in love he won't be able to ever come back from it.
After they hang up, Tommy finally starts the car and drives home, a smile not disappearing from his face for even a second. He's really happy he decided to leave a silly comment on Evan's post. He'd never think that's what would bring them back together, but he's glad. He doesn't know what's going to happen, if they can get through all their issues and talk them out, if they can give this yet another shot. He hopes so. And somehow he has a really good feeling about this. That this time it's finally the right time for them, that this time they're going to work out. He'll find out soon enough.