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Rell knows he's a monster. He doesn't need to be told to his face, doesn't need to hear the whispers that come as he passes by other reapers in the street or in the various station lobbies. He doesn't need to see the revulsion in many of the faces of the reapers who were around pre-revolution. Yet its all he can hear, all he sees when he meets the gaze of others. That revulsion, the hatred, the fear.
He had never asked to be made like this. He didn't want to be like this. This dark, apathetic creature filled only with blank emptiness. He wonders if he was like this as a human too. Did he have someone to love? Did someone love him in return? Was he ever actually worth the air he breathed? Or was he the same disgusting, apathetic creature given human form? Did he have family that loved him? No, no he couldn't have. He's sure he's always been like this.
It isn't his fault that he's good at his work. That the apathy crystallized around his heart made him so good at taking souls, at disciplining those who struggled with the work. That it made it easier for him to erase reaper after reaper from existence, even if it was never easy. He was like this from the minute he opened his eyes in the pod, the harsh white lights of the terminal room searing into his retinas. Others around him had been confused, questioning the trainers pulling them from pods. Some even sounded a little scared.
2103 had just sat there on the edge of the exam table, mismatched eyes blinking slowly, opening and closing his hands. His trainer 1143 had begun to explain, voice steady. "You are 2103, of the 4th station. You are a grim reaper charged with the task of collecting and ferrying souls to the afterlife assigned to them."
2103, huh? Yes, that fit. A series of numbers, inhuman and unfeeling, just like him. Training had blurred by, each day blending into the next. His superiors had looked at him strangely when his scythe turned out to be two small hand scythes, chains hanging from the ends. They had stopped looking at him strangely when he proved how useful they were, how good at this work he was. They had praised him as a perfect specimen, the standard for what a reaper should be. They had put him to work in other areas.
He still remembers the first time he terminated another reaper. They were relatively young, from the 18th station. 4897. She had been sweet and shy, too kind for their work. He had been assigned to her for disciplinary correction. He had done his best, taking souls with cold efficiency, showing her how it had to be. You had to let go of any feelings, crush them and freeze them out before they ever started to form.
Her voice had been soft and sweet, trembling just a little bit every time she spoke. "But why do they have to die, and we don't?! It isn't fair!"
His own had held nothing, no coldness, no reprimanding note. Just flat, monotone, the voice of one who doesn't feel. "There is no fairness in life or in death. The Fates do not care for such things. Take the soul 4897."
"No! I won't do it anymore, I-I can't! I just want to go home!" She had cried then, pale face reddening with anger, fists clenched so hard her knuckles were white. She had tried to step between him and the sleeping mortal, tried to block his path. His chains rattled as he merely swung a scythe around her, a line of sickly black following in its wake. The rattling exhale of a final breath, a soul in his hands. She had tried to scream but he was already there, a hand over her mouth and the chain of a scythe pulled painfully tight around her, trapping her arms to her sides.
He had delivered her to the council for judgment after guiding the soul, dumping her on the floor of the judgment chambers with little care for any pain. They had passed down their judgment: immediate termination. He had assumed it would be carried out elsewhere, by others. He remembers the sound of static after the council told him to get it done and disconnected. Remembers the way she had begged, pleaded for a life that was no longer hers.
The feeling of a scythe sinking into actual flesh is something that will never leave him. The gurgle she made as his scythes bit deep into her flesh, one in her belly and the other in her throat to keep her from screaming. Her blood had been so hot on his skin. How did a being made entirely of soul make such a mess? He had stood under the too hot spray of the shower that night, watching red wash off his skin, watched it swirl down the drain and for the first time in his career as a reaper had felt something in himself.
Disgust.
The voices through the window are muffled, distorted by the glass even to one like himself whose hearing is so heightened. He leans against the wall next to the window, out of sight, floating three stories above the streets below.
"…ever speak with him. 2103 is not a reaper any of you should cross. You may think me strict, but compared to him a visit from me was child's play." 5012's voice is it's usual tone, clipped and professional.
"What did he do that makes even you say that boss man?" The voice must be one of his trainees, young and energetic.
"You are both aware I was used for disciplinary actions, yes?"
He doesn't hear a response, so figures they both must have nodded.
"He was used for terminations." The reapers tone is factual but with a bit of an edge. Rell shifts where he leans against the wall, head bowing a bit at the weight of his words. The room is silent for a few long moments, the trainees clearly shocked. The next voice that speaks is soft and very deep, the type of voice you hear when you think of a gentle giant.
"But you said reapers are no longer terminated?"
He can see in his minds eye the way 5012 shakes his head, the pinched look that would be on his face as he began to explain. "They aren't. That practice was eliminated when the council was ousted."
"And fuuuuck me am I glad for that. So what makes him such a danger still?"
Rell knows he should leave before he hears what he has to say, but his body refuses to move, his ears perking to catch his words. They aren't a surprise.
"Because he feels nothing. Don't be fooled by how he acts. He is not like the rest of us, not even like me. You think I am bad? He's everything the council could have dreamed of."
5012 isn't wrong. Rell knows he isn't. But somehow hearing it stated so matter-of-factually from him of all people… it makes something in his chest crack with what he feels should be an audible noise. He pushes off the wall with his feet, drifting out into the city sky. He doesn't bother making his departure quiet, kicking the wall hard enough that he knows those inside the office would have heard it. He hears the sound of a window opening before everything goes black and he melts into the darkness.
The evening sun is overwhelmingly hot on his skin when he materializes in the mortal plane, dying rays clawing at his light sensitive eyes even through the sunglasses he wears when coming here. He normally doesn't come here during the day, his glamour being a nocturnal creature. He pulls the glasses from his face, looking at the sinking sun, letting the pain sear through him. He's seated on a worn old bench, the sound of waves crashing against the cliff below him loud over the sound of the rushing wind.
Rell had found this place centuries ago, before the bench was here, before the large tree shading it was here. When this cliff was wider, less dangerous. No one else came here now, the trails forgotten and overgrown. Only the bench remained clear, even as the enamel is flaking from the metal surface. The wind is frigid against his cheeks, whipping his ponytail out behind him. He tells himself the tears scalding his cheeks are from the wind and not from the sobs tearing their way out of him.
The sound of the waves cover his sobs as he lets himself shatter, chest heaving as he folds in half and slips off the bench. Stones dig into his knees and hands as he stares at the ground, digging his fingers into the soil and clawing at it until his fingernails break. He does it again and again every time they heal, blood staining the dirt, pain radiating up his arms in vicious waves. His hands are covered in dark earth and blood by the time he staggers back to his feet, swaying as he heads for the cliff. He stares out over the water, sobs still wracking his body. He'd lost his hair tie somehow in his desperate scrabbling at the earth, his hair falling loose around him and whipping in the wind.
The roaring of the waves are overtaken by the rushing of blood in his ears, the faint ringing as his vision swims in an out of focus. Somebody, anybody, please help him. They tell him he feels nothing, so why does everything hurt so much? Why does it feel like his heart is being shredded, crushed, pulled into tiny pieces? If this is what apathy brings then why didn't he feel it before? Something is welling in his body, black and consuming, swallowing everything in its path. His limbs tingle and then go numb, he no longer feels the frantic pounding of his heart. As his head tingles and his eyes burn before going numb he tips his head back, a scream tearing from his throat so loud he tastes blood.
He isn't aware of how long he stands there until someone walking up behind him draws him back from the void that held him. The world is dark around him, the moon huge in the sky above the black water. Thousands of stars glitter in the sky above, a dazzling spray of glitter in the deep navy of the night sky.
"Here you are- 2103?" The voice that comes behind him makes his skin crawl even as his scalp tingles, feeling abruptly returning to his body. He's cold, the skin of his cheeks tight from the salt of dried tears even as more keep flowing. His voice sounds odd even to him, hollow in a way he never sounded even pre-revolution.
"What do you want 5012? What could you possibly need with a thing like me right now?"
The answering silence is heavy, only the sound of the wind and the waves answering him. Rell keeps staring out over the water, eyes falling to the jagged rocks below. He wonders what it would be like, to let himself fall to the water below to be dashed to pieces against those rocks. Not that it could actually kill him. Nothing but a scythe will work. A scythe, huh?
"If I asked you to kill me 5012, would you? Get justice for all those I terminated? Finally put down the councils last remaining rabid dog?"
"No, I wouldn't. You still have your uses." It's hard to hear him over the wind, he says it all so softly. The words echo in his mind, replaying again and again end over end. Useful. He's still useful. The laugh that tears from his throat is harsh, caustic and bitter. He turns from the cliff, hair whipping past him as he stares at the other reaper. He stares at him with empty eyes, swaying as the wind pushes him. 5012's eyes widen when he turns, so slight that if Rell didn't know him as well as he did he wouldn't have caught it. The other man takes a small step forward, stopping at the way he sways back.
"2103 I—"
"I feel things, you know. I feel it when I'm hurt, the sharpness of it. I feel it when I'm happy, like when you stayed for the first time." He raises a hand to rub at his sternum, trying to soothe the frozen ache there. "I feel angry, like how my face flushes when I get mad. I feel… sad. Alone. None of you have ever understood. None of you have ever even tried."
"2103 wait, let me speak—"
The anger that wells in his chest is all encompassing, scorching his nerves, making him dizzy with how his blood roars in his veins. His voice is louder than he means it to be, jagged and sharp and accusing as he interrupts the other man. "I didn't ask to be made like this! I didn't ask to- to be this empty shell. I know I'm a monster, you didn't have to say it. I feel it every day, the way everyone stares at me."
His hands smell like blood and earth when he covers his face, swaying again as he steps back. He can't stop himself now that he's begun talking, words pouring out of him like water. "But no, 2103 is made of ice. He kills with glee, did the councils dirty work without complaint. A coldblooded predator waiting to snap up unsuspecting trainees. You think I don't know the actual reason they won't give me a unit? Why I have to keep working alone, why I have to shoulder the sickness on my own? Of course I do. I'm a monster."
Hands grip his upper arms tight enough to hurt as he goes to step back off the cliff edge, yanking him bodily back from the edge and into a warm chest. He fights the hold on his arms, choking on the force of the rage rising in his throat. He drops his hands from his face to push at the other mans chest, angry tears spilling down his face now. How dare he? How dare he say all of that then appear as if it were nothing? And why can't he actually hate him? Why does he have to feel like this, this tangled knot of feelings for this man who could never love him back, who tells others to stay away from him. He's vicious as he digs his nails into 5012's chest, knowing that it hurts even through the fabric.
It doesn't get him more than a grunt from the other reaper and that somehow makes him angrier, a foot lifting to smash a thick heel down on the other mans foot. Or where his foot had been before. Instead it just slams into the dirt, making a painful jolt run up his leg that makes him growl. Rell fights when he's walked back from the cliff, slamming his palm against 5012's chest. Now the other reaper is angry, letting go of one of his arms to grip his wrists together in one hand, large fingers squeezing until the bones grind together. It's enough of a distraction to make Rell go still and enough time for 5012 to yank one of the belts from around Rell's hips and use it to tightly bind his hands behind his back.
"Stop it you idiotic man. Listen for once in your never ending life!" 5012 shoves him back against the tree, making him wince at the way it crushes his arms back against the rough bark. His heart is pounding, skipping beats and stuttering as he fights against the bindings. He normally enjoys being bound but now he feels trapped, like he can't get enough air. He squeezes his eyes shut, head thumping back against the tree. His voice sounds harsh in his own ears, guttural with anger but with an undercurrent of despair.
"Out of all of them I never thought— I never thought the person keeping me isolated would be you. Do you really hate me that much? Is my suffering a game?" His voice breaks around a sob as he sags against the tree, all the fight leaving his body in a rush. "Did I ever even mean anything to you?"
"You mean everything to me you blind fool. Do you think I humor every fool that enters my office, or who propositions me?" 5012's voice is heated as he shakes him roughly, hands coming up to hold his face and turn his head to him. "Open your eyes. Look at me."
Rell does as he's told, too defeated to fight. His words ring hollow in his mind, sounding like something you tell someone throwing a fit. The look on the other reapers face is one he's never seen before, desperate and angry and… afraid? Ah. So he's afraid of him too. He drops his gaze from his face, unwilling to see how scared the other man is of him. "And yet you're afraid of me. You hid it well, but you are."
5012 makes a disgusted noise and suddenly there are lips pressed hard to his in a harsh kiss. It's claiming and all consuming, the hands cupping his face holding him still. It makes his brain short circuit, sobs cutting off into a confused whimper. 5012 pulls back for a second, seemingly looking at him for a moment before he's kissing him again, the kiss softer now. It's still just as claiming as 5012 encourages him to open his mouth, deepening the kiss with a hum. Rell isn't sure what's happening, or why his heart is squeezing so hard in his chest. 5012 doesn't stop kissing him until his tears have stopped and he's only whimpering, pulling back carefully. His eyes flick over his face, searching for something.
5012 reaches behind his back to undo the belt, letting him drop his arms. When he doesn't attempt to get violent again he steps back a bit, letting him straighten up from his slouch. His tone is firm when he speaks, allowing no argument. "I am not afraid of you, Relian. I am afraid for you."
Hearing his chosen name from the other man makes him flinch, brows furrowing in confusion. 5012 never calls him by his name, not unless they've just slept together. It's strange, hearing it from the other mans lips for once. "I don't understand."
"Of course you don't. Listen carefully, you know I hate repeating myself. You infuriate me, beyond measure. I look at you and I want to strangle you for how much you irritate me." His hands cup his face again, pulling his face down to look at him. "And yet when I hear you laugh, when I see you smile, it stays with me for days. You don't fit into this world, not anymore. Neither of us do, and yet we fit together like shards of glass from the same shattered cup."
"But you told your unit to avoid me."
5012 takes a deep breath, grimacing at the reminder. "I did. You are too intense for the trainee reapers, and they are too overwhelming for you. No, don't try to argue. I have known you for centuries, I know you do not handle long term interaction with groups of people well."
Rell closes his mouth when he tells him not to argue, making a face at the fact he knew he was going to argue. Stupid perfect reaper. "You call me intense? You never stop sneering at people!"
"And that is exactly why I can confidently say that. I am intense because I do not want to be bothered. You are intense because you don't let yourself feel things like normal people do. You try to tell me to leave after each of our trysts, but I know you would spiral if I did. You are mine Relian, even if you don't want to be. No other soul knows you like I do."
That hits him square in the chest, that word. Mine. Like he's worthy of being owned by someone, of being someone they treasure. He doesn't realize he's crying again until 5012 swipes his thumbs under his eyes, wiping them away as they fall. It's tender, too intimate for how they've always been. He's confused, heart squeezing and head too full of emotions to understand exactly what they are. He doesn't recognize some of them, doesn't think he's ever felt them before that he can remember. "I thought you hated me. I'm not good enough to be… yours."
5012 shakes his head, making sure he's looking at him still before he speaks. "Maybe I did once, but I haven't for decades. You worked your way in you persistent little thing. You don't need to be good to be mine, I already chose you."
Rell has to look down when he says that, eyes suddenly welling with another wave of tears, and shouldn't he be out of tears by now? He's cried more today than he has in centuries and he feels dry and brittle, like every bit of moisture has left him. Everything 5012 is saying is at odds with the centuries of interactions between them. Yet he has felt a gradual softening in the recent years, words said that before Rell couldn't have ever imagined him saying when they first met.
5012 is watching him silently, purple eyes steady on his face as he gives him a moment. His hands slip from his face down his sides, holding his waist so gently it makes him feel like he's about to shatter. Rell doesn't want to see the steady look on his face, doesn't want to see the way fondness flashes in eyes he's so used to seeing look at him in annoyance or lust. He's managing to get control of himself again when 5012 just has to speak and ruin it all.
"You are not the monster the council made you to be, Relian. I cannot wash away the blood staining your hands, nor the blood staining mine, but at the very least we can find a way to atone together."
There's a heavy pause, the words stretching taut between them, before the tension snaps. Rell sucks in a shocked little breath, heart swelling with things he can't handle, doesn't know how to name. He lowers his head to kiss 5012 with a desperation so strong it surprises both of them, wrapping his arms around the other mans neck and threading his fingers into his hair to cradle the back of his head. 5012's hands are steady and possessive on his waist, pulling him forward so their bodies are pressed together.
The heat of the reapers body against his cuts through the ice that had taken hold of him, making him shiver as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. 5012 allows him to lead only for a moment before he's stepping into him, pressing him back against the tree and taking control of the kiss. It turns heated, the other reaper licking into his mouth and kissing him so thoroughly all he can think about is how his hair feels between his fingers and the rough bark against his back.
Rell whines when 5012 pulls back, instinctively leaning into him to chase his lips for another kiss. 5012 grabs his chin lightly, holding him in place as he pulls back. His fingers are warm against his chin even through his gloves and he shivers as the mans other hand slides from his waist to press against the small of his back, holding him against him firmly. "Hold on."
Rell tightens his arms around his neck, already figuring out what's about to happen as the world begins to melt into frigid darkness.
The cold lasts only the time it takes to take a single breath, color flooding back into the world along with the mild warmth of the Underworld. 5012 lets him go as they materialize, making sure he's steady on his feet before he does. Rell frowns as he looks around, not recognizing their surroundings. He had expected to see his room, or 5012's office. Instead the room they're in is new to him. A large bed takes up the majority of the north wall, the sheets a rich purple with a gray duvet, all made up neatly. The walls are mostly bare, only a few pieces of rather abstract art hung around to make things less boring. A door in the east wall leads to what must be a closet, seeing as he can see shirts and pants hanging neatly, shoes lined up on the floor underneath.
The walls are the usual gray of all the dorms, washed in purple by the lights from the floor length windows that cover the entire east wall. A tastefully simple rug sections out the bed space, modern like the rest of the furnishings. Rell twists to look behind him, noting the multiple large shelves stuffed full of books tucked against the south wall, a plush armchair and ottoman sitting to the side of a plush leather couch in a deep shade of brown. A rug matching the one under the bed sections out the little library space. A lamp stands between them and a sleek coffee table to the front and Rell can already picture 5012 sitting there reading, whether for leisure or research purposes. Another door leads to the bathroom tucked into the southwest corner of the room. Everything appears to be in shades of gray, brown, or purple, austere yet elegant, just like the man himself.
He realizes with a start that he's currently standing in what has to be 5012's private quarters, somewhere even he has never been in all the time they've known each other. They had always had their encounters in his room, or in his office, or even in other more risky areas. It stunlocks him when he realizes and he blinks rapidly, mouth opening and closing uselessly.
5012 moves through the space easily, toeing off his shoes at the shoe rack (bench?) thing he has by the door, hanging his coat on its hook also by the door. He can clearly see how the room is meant to flow, letting the man go from the door to the seating area or bed easily depending on his needs, the overly large closet giving him space for storage that he isn't sure he could ever actually need. He can see the bathroom is the same color palette as the rest of the room, a long shower tucked against the back wall.
Rell jumps when he's broken from his stunned sightseeing by warm, an ungloved hand sliding over his stomach while the other draws his hair to the side so a warm kiss can be pressed to his nape. The action is intimate and familiar, making his face and ears flush with heat as he blushes. So many things are happening that have never happened before and it's leaving him feel unmoored and adrift in chaotic waters.
His voice is hesitant when he speaks and he winces to hear it, metaphorical hackles raising as he braces to be teased. "Is this… your room?"
5012's breath is warm against his skin when he speaks, making him shiver. "It is. Congratulations on being the only being besides myself who has ever seen the inside." Rell opens his mouth to ask why when 5012 drags his teeth against his nape, making him gasp and whimper a soft noise. That mouth kisses and nips its way up his neck to his ear, lips warm as he kisses the sensitive skin behind his ear and murmurs. "Get undressed, Rell."
That should be more familiar to him, the want in his tone. But it's offset by the fact neither of them usually undresses fully for sex, the act always one of rushed passion and heat and feelings they refused to say. He whines to mourn the loss of his warmth when 5012 steps away, walking past him as he unbuckles the harness around his chest. He watches the man set it aside before drawing off his black compression shirt, the purple light from outside throwing long shadows over the muscled planes of his back. He's frozen where he stands, those complicated feelings welling in his chest again as he stares at him.
When he doesn't hear movement 5012 turns, head tilting slightly as he regards him with an open expression. Upon seeing him frozen he frowns a bit, stepping back over and reaching to take his wrist, pulling him forward and hooking his other arm around him. The grip on his wrist is hard enough to be bruising, the pain racing up his arm and sparking in his brain. 5012 starts to speak and Rell interrupts him in a rush, brain catching on the panic welling. "Amber."
5012 goes still at their pause word, releasing the grip on his wrist and stepping back to give him his space. Rell's brain is a mess of things he doesn't want to think about, feelings he'd been telling himself for centuries he didn't have and he doesn't know how to sort them out. 5012 keeps his voice level, offering his hand now instead of grabbing him. Rell takes it after a moment, the feeling of skin on skin so strange to him when it comes to their hands. "Talk to me. What troubles you?"
"I don't know if I can do this. This gentleness. I don't know how to love someone gently, or nicely, o-or sweetly. I only know how to bite." The panic gripping his body loosens a little as he says it, even as he braces to be rejected. 5012 seems to be considering something, eyes thoughtful as he watches him. Mind made up he walks towards him, placing a hand on his sternum and walking him back to the wall, pressing him firmly back against it. The panic loosens again.
"We are gentle in our own way. Being gentle does not mean we have to be sweet. Understand?"
"Um, kind of..? Actually no, not really." He doesn't want to lie in this moment or pretend to be something he isn't. 5012 gives him a slow predatory smile, reaching slowly to grab his wrists. He holds them together in one hand and lifts his arms up above his head, pinning them against the wall firmly. The action makes Rell squirm, heat flooding through him. 5012 leans forward, kissing him slow and heated, drawing back when he starts to shiver.
"It means that even if you bite, even if I choke you with my cock in your throat until you almost black out, or tie you up and fuck you until you cry, it doesn't make what we do or how we love each other wrong. Gentle for us may not look gentle to others. Our sweetness may look angry or bitter to others. It doesn't make it any less real."
Rell blinks, mind slowly working through his words and processing. Understanding dawns on him even as his words make heat flood through him in a sudden rush. "You won't regret having someone like me? Someone jagged and caustic?"
5012's smile softens a bit, fondness overtaking the predatory edge for just a moment even as his gaze stays heated. "I am not someone who knows regret, Relian. Matching shards, remember?"
There's an ache growing in his shoulders from having his arms held up like this and in his wrists from how firmly 5012 is holding him, an ache that goes right to his brain and blows apart all the pesky worries that were clinging like cobwebs. He sags in his hold, whimpering softly. "Please help me stop thinking."
5012 chuckles at that, guiding his arms down and releasing the hold on his wrists to push into a bruising kiss, biting at his lower lip and making him groan. He kisses back just as hard, whining desperately and clutching at his shoulders. The whine that leaves him when 5012 pulls away is low and needy, full of heat. The reaper leans and bites at his neck where it meets his shoulder, teeth digging in enough to bruise but not break the skin. Not yet. The pain makes Rell gasp, knees going wobbly as he leans into him with a shiver. "Of course. Now do as you were told and undress. I hate repeating myself."
Rell nods, waiting until he steps away to shrug out of his coat. He moves to the door and hangs it up, bending to loosen his boots and slip them off, placing them neatly together by 5012's shoes. 5012 is watching him when he turns around, sitting naked on the end of the bed and leaned back on his hands. He smirks at him when he meets his eyes, tilting his head. "Good boy. Now the rest."
Rell shivers, stepping back over to him. He wiggles out of the skirt, lifting it with a foot and flicking it to land neatly in the hamper. The body suit he waits until he stops moving, reaching down to undo the snaps at the crotch. He pulls it off over his head, shaking out his hair as he tosses it into the hamper as well. He starts to undo the garters holding his thigh highs up when 5012 clicks his tongue at him. "Not those. Leave those. Your legs always look so nice in them."
Rell flushes at that, sliding his hands away. 5012 sits up properly now, beckoning him forward and pointing at the floor in front of him. "Kneel."
Rell drops almost instantly, sitting his hands on the reapers knees as he settles on the plush rug between his legs. 5012's cock is half hard laying against his thigh, slowly growing harder as Rell looks at it and idly licks his lips. Warm fingers slide into his hair, gathering a handful and gripping firmly as he pulls him forward. "I can see how badly you want to taste my cock. Go on, get my cock ready for you."
"Yes sir." His brain is already going fuzzy as he shifts on his knees, leaning forward as he moves a hand to take his cock in hand. His cock is hot in his hand, hardening quicker now as Rell leans forward and licks a long stripe up the underside of his cock. The action gets a groan from 5012, his fingers tightening in his hair a bit. Rell shivers at the sound and the fingers in his hair, closing his eyes as he focuses on pleasing the reaper in front of him.
He presses a kiss just under the head before opening his mouth to swirl his tongue around the head of his cock, tracing the ridge of it with his tongue. It isn't hard to get him hard fully with how many times they've fucked over the years, but it feels different this time. 5012's fingers tighten a bit in his hair but he otherwise leaves him to do as he wishes, he gave him his goal and now he needs to work for it. He takes a deep breath before taking him into his mouth, sinking down slowly.
Rell has to be careful as he does, with how big 5012 is it's easy to get too greedy too fast. He draws up, carefully bobbing his head, pressing his tongue against the underside and sucking every time he draws up. It doesn't take much effort to have him fully hard and twitching in his mouth. He draws back, licking at the head and humming at the flavor of his precum on his tongue. 5012's hand presses down a bit, a silent command that he follows easily.
Letting himself relax he lowers his head, taking a deep breath before he swallows and takes him into his throat. It's different, doing it himself instead of having 5012 fuck his throat. He hears 5012 groan above him, his fingers petting through his hair as he hums. "Gods but I can never get over how easily you suck my cock. Brace yourself."
Rell knows exactly what that means and grips his thighs harder, angling his head as 5012 grips his hair harder and pushes his hips up firmly to fuck deeper into his throat. He isn't overly rough with him but every push of his hips is firm and insistent, every slide of his cock down his throat making his mind go just a little bit quieter as pleasure rises higher and higher. His eyes flutter as he opens them, looking up at 5012 with half lidded eyes.
If he were an artist, he would want to paint this moment. 5012 is beautiful, face flushed with pleasure and hair slightly disheveled from how he's been running his fingers through it. His gaze is so intent on him that it burns like he's being branded, making him hyper aware of the feeling of his cock in his mouth and how careful he needs to be with his teeth. The purple light from outside casts his face and body into sharp relief, pools of shadow only serving to accentuate the handsome planes of his face. And the look in his eyes… It's nothing short of utterly possessive, telling Rell without words that he truly is his and his alone.
Despite their nonexistent need to breathe he still feels breathless looking up at him, both from the cock fucking his throat and the look in his eyes. He whines around the cock in his mouth, shivering at the way it makes 5012's hips jerk. His voice is low with want and effort, slightly breathless as he pants. "You are truly beautiful like this, lips spread wide around my cock. Swallow all of what I give you, I know you can."
Rell isn't surprised when 5012 gives a few hard thrusts before using the hold he has on his hair to hold him down as he comes down his throat, feeling how he twitches and flexes in his throat through his release. He's a bit surprised when he draws back early, moaning at the taste of his cum on his tongue for once. His mind is beautifully quiet now, though some few thoughts float here and there. He gasps when 5012 draws him off his cock, sucking in huge lungfuls of air. Even when not needed the brain sticks to human habits.
Head still spinning from the lack of air 5012 draws him up off the floor, his touch sending sparks of pleasure through him as he stands as well. He spins them to push Rell down onto the bed, a hand on his hip urging him up the mattress until he can crawl over him, boxing him in with his body and arms. 5012 kisses him slowly, sensually, lips sliding against his as he licks into his mouth. He knows he has to taste himself on his tongue and the though makes Rell laugh softly, arms wrapping around his neck. 5012 draws back from the kiss, raising an eyebrow at him. "Am I being amusing to you right now?"
Rell has to bite back a laugh at that, lips pursing as he fights to hide his smile. There's laughter in his tone when he speaks though, giving him away. "No no, I just— You had to have tasted your own cum though."
5012 sighs, leaning to press kisses along his jaw, nipping at the sensitive point where jaw meets neck. His voice is rough even as his touch is gentle, a hand sliding down his body until he can teasingly stroke against his clit. It makes molten pleasure rush through him, mouth opening with a moan and a soft whimper. His touch is firm, each stroke of his fingers making his legs twitch and his hips rise. The other mans voice is soft in his ear, little more than a heated murmur. "And I will taste it again when I lick you clean once I'm done with you."
"You can't just say something like that..!" Rell feels his face flush even as he should be used to the things he says, given their history together. Yet the way he says it, in his ear and in that heated murmur… It makes his head tingle, the sensation spreading down his spine and out to each of his limbs and making him shudder. Pleasure follows it as 5012 slides his hand down further, pressing two fingers slowly into his aching cunt.
He'd been doing an okay job ignoring the need burning in his core until now, but the slow press of his fingers inside him make him whine and buck his hips against his hand. 5012 has to know what it does to him when he begins to thrust his fingers, working him open with a single-minded focus. The reaper is still kissing along his neck, licking over the bite shaped bruise he'd already left before closing his mouth on his skin and working on leaving more marks. It's not easy, his skin being so dark already, but 5012 has been known to enjoy a challenge on occasion.
Rell digs his nails into his back when he presses a third finger into his pussy, making him moan and arch up against the body hovering over his. 5012 is breathing harder than usual, mouth hot against his skin as he kisses over his throat to bite hard over his collarbone, this time biting hard enough to split the skin beneath his teeth and leave a deeper mark opposite the other. The burst of pain makes Rell groan and whimper, rocking his hips with the fingers working him open.
Too soon 5012 is drawing his fingers out of him, making him whine at the feeling of emptiness and being left right on the edge of release. 5012 simply chuckles, pulling away from making marks on his neck to sit up and urge him to roll over onto his stomach. "Turn, good boy. Do not pout, I will be inside you soon."
Rell rolls over quicker upon hearing that, lifting his hips obediently when 5012 touches the small of his back. 5012 is considerate enough to stuff a pillow under his hips this time, keeping his hips up for him. He snags a pillow for his chest, glad he did as he buries his face in it and whimpers at the feeling of the reapers hot cock rutting against his pussy. He doesn't tease him more than necessary, shifting behind him to line his tip up with his cunt and pushing forward. Rell can only clutch the pillow tighter against his chest at the slow push of his cock into his cunt, insistent and thick.
5012 grunts as he works his cock into him in shallow rocks of his hips, every push making him slide deeper and deeper until finally he bottoms out with a sigh. Rell moans at the feeling of fullness, pleasure making his mind go blank. He shudders when he feels 5012's weight settle over him, his chest warm against his back. He feels secure, weighted down by the other mans body and right where he wants to be.
The first thrust into his cunt makes him keen a loud noise when it grinds right against his g-spot, shoulders twitching at the starburst of pleasure. Warm arms encircle his waist, one bracing against the bed to give 5012 leverage as he begins to fuck him, pace slow and claiming. He can't do anything but take every thrust, feel how perfectly they fit together, how full his cock makes him feel. It's too good, pleasure racing up and down his spine with each firm thrust.
5012 doesn't play fair either, slipping his other hand lower so he can press his fingers to his clit. The position makes it so that his clit grinds into his fingers with each of his thrusts, making him moan and whimper each time. The pleasure has pulled taught in his belly leaving him shivering right on the edge of orgasm. He whines into the pillow, panting as his hips shift, not sure whether to grind into the fingers on his clit or back into the cock claiming him.
5012 murmurs softly in his ear, nipping gently. "Beg, Relian. Beg me to let you come."
"Please, please make me come sir… I'm so close, you feel so good inside my cunt."
"Whose are you?"
Rell shivers at that, eyes growing hot as tears well up. He can't say it, not now, not with 5012 fucking him like this. He whines desperately when the other mans hips still, fingers moving away from his clit so he can't grind into them anymore. The mans voice is low in his ear and it's all he can hear aside from the pounding of his own heart. "Whose, Relian?"
His resolve snaps with far less resistance than he'd ever admit as he sobs, tears sliding down his face as he turns his head enough to look at him. "Yours, I'm yours! Please, I'm so close—"
Pleasure floods him as 5012 begins to move again, hips snapping into his as he fucks him hard and slow. His fingers return, stroking his clit in time with his thrusts. It's an overwhelming rush of sensation after the slow grinding of before and he moans and gasps with each thrust, clenching hard around him. The mans breathing is shaky when he speaks, voice strained with effort. "Such a good pet. Come around my cock, let me feel how much you enjoy it."
Rell's moan is loud as he does as he's told, body shaking as he comes hard around the cock thrusting into his pussy. Pleasure floods him, washing any remaining thoughts away as 5012 fucks him through his release. He has no mercy on him even when he sobs as the pleasure tips over into pain as his sensitivity shoots up, but he doesn't actually want his mercy. His traitorous hips push up into every thrust, encouraging him to fuck him harder, to show him truly that he's his.
"Sensitive, too much— Gods please, I'm yours!" He doesn't know if he's begging for him to have mercy or if he's begging him to keep going but as always 5012 seems to know as his thrusts slow but don't stop, still hard and still making him feel every inch. He's painfully close again, body alight with pleasure so intense he can hardly breathe. 5012 groans and he knows he's close, has heard him grunt his little noise as he comes inside him for centuries now. Finally his pace stutters as he presses in to the hilt, his cock flexing as he finds his release for the second time, filling him with his cum.
Rell isn't far behind, crying out as he comes around him again, cunt clenching as if milking him for every drop he can give. 5012 is moaning in his ear, breath hot against his skin as he grinds into his needy cunt. "Gods, you take me so well. I will never get enough of stuffing your cunt with my seed."
The noise he whines at that is high and embarrassed and he presses his face into the pillow to muffle it and hide his flushed cheeks. 5012 doesn't let him though, sitting up to pull out of him slowly and flip him bodily onto his back. He makes a startled noise at the sudden movement, crying out when the man takes the pillow from him and pushes into a hard kiss as he shoves his cock back into his sensitive pussy. He wraps his arms around his neck, tangling his fingers in his hair as 5012 kisses him deeply and thoroughly as his hips begin to move again.
His pace is fast and rough, each thrust making pleasure rocket up his spine and making him moan. 5012 pulls from the kiss to sit up, hands shifting to grip under his knees and fold his legs back as he lays over him, pinning them to his chest. The way it changes the angle makes him choke on a moan, his noises turning higher and breathy. He digs his nails into the reapers back, unable to help himself as he claws at his skin, needing to do something to keep from going crazy from the pleasure he's fucking into him.
5012 groans, back arching into his nails as he nuzzles at his neck, letting out his own low noises against his skin. It's all so intimate, how close they are in this position, how deep 5012 can sink his cock into him. Neither of them can last very long, both of them sensitive from coming before. Rell is the first to break, sobbing as he comes around him again, tremors running through his body. 5012 follows shortly after, hips pressing hard into his as he fills him with a groan. They both just lay there panting for a few long moments, neither wanting to be the first to break the moment.
It's 5012 who does, sitting up and drawing back, his slowly softening cock slipping out of him and making him groan. Rell whines softly as 5012 guides his legs back down, drawing in a deeper breath now that the other man doesn't have him folded practically in half. He lets his arms fall away when 5012 gently disentangles himself, shifting down the bed.
Rell only has a moment to try and wonder what he's doing, his thoughts moving as if through honey, before he feels his hot tongue pressing into his pussy. He gasps, a hand flying down to grip his hair, unable to decide whether to push him away or pull him closer and instead just tugging gently. True to his earlier words 5012 takes his time, groaning against him at the first taste of their combined fluids. Rell can only gasp and whine, hips twitching with every thrust of the other mans tongue in his cunt.
5012 manages to make him come twice around his tongue before he relents when Rell pulls desperately on his hair, the pleasure so sharp it hurts more than feels good. Rell glares at him as he sags boneless against the bed, chest heaving as he pants. "I was clean before you made me come the first time asshole. Both were unnecessary." But there's no actual vitriol in his tone, just an annoyed fondness. 5012 simply gives a small smile, expression unbearably smug as he slides off the bed.
"I had to ensure you would not make a mess of my sheets. I would hate to have to change them."
Gentle arms slide under him, lifting him and cradling him against a warm chest as 5012 heads for the bathroom. Rell yawns when he sets him on his feet, leaving him only for a moment to get the shower running and warming up. He can't help his laugh when he sees the paler mans back as he finally undoes his garters and pulls them and his thigh highs off. "It's a good thing you always cover up Fiver."
5012 hums, raising an eyebrow at him over his shoulder as he tests the spray. "How so?"
"Look at your back in the mirror."
5012 scoffs but does as he's told for once, sighing an exasperated noise at the myriad of scratches he sees there. Wounds or marks made by a reaper take actual time to heal, though said time was no more than a couple days still. Rell takes the chance while he's examining his back to step into the shower, shiver as the hot water hits him. He smiles when the other man joins him, making a pleased noise at the feeling of his hands on his waist as he feels lips press against his shoulder.
"You may want to cover up as well. I left my own claim on you."
"Mm, I don't think I will actually. I like people knowing I'm yours."
They don't take very long in the shower, washing each other efficiently but fondly. Rell is touched when 5012 digs through his drawers and pulls out underwear and a soft pajama shirt, handing them over to him so he can dress. The shirt is definitely too large, but the underwear are his exact size and style he prefers. he gives the other man a suspicious look, making him chuckle.
"Don't look at me like that. I was hardly going to bring you here and not have extra clothing on hand for you."
They climb into bed together, the sheets soft on his skin as 5012 takes his usual place against his back, a strong arm settling over his stomach. Thoughts come back to him as they lay there, their breathing the only sound in the room. Rell thinks the other man may have fallen asleep when he speaks several minutes later, the reapers breathing deep and even.
"I wish the marks would stay."
A warm hand slides up his chest, cupping his throat gently as lips press against the nape of his neck. "As do I. I will have to think of something. Sleep now, anything else can wait."
Sleep finds him easily after that, pulling him down into the dark.
Rell has to admit that 5012 is the most efficient worker he's ever met when the man presents him with a choker the next morning, made of supple black leather with an amethyst pendant. It fits perfectly, of course, because the reaper can never be bad at anything.
"How the hell did you manage this?"
"I am a very efficient worker, you know this."
The warmth blooming in his chest is something he isn't sure he'll ever get used to as they dress, 5012's fingers warm on his neck as he secures the choker for him. Rell spends longer than he needs admiring it in the mirror, biting his lip to keep from getting misty eyed. "You're so annoying Fiver. Always have to be perfect, don't you?"
Warm arms encircle him as the man hugs him from behind, hooking his chin on his shoulder as 5012 seemingly admires the choker around his neck. "I do not have to be. I simply am. You wanted the marks to stay. This will."
Rell touches the pendant, those same complicated feelings welling in his chest and making his heart squeeze. Yet somehow, in the purple light of 5012's room, they don't feel quite as complicated anymore.