Chapter Text
Crowley’s knees were cold where the rain soaked through his jeans. The mud must have stained them already, but he could not bring himself to care.
“Please!” His sob was swallowed by the relentless downpour. His glasses were fogged up and wet, and the world turned into a cultivation of gray blobs. He wouldn’t have been able to see anything, anyway. Not with the way he was crying, snot running down his chin, racing the drops from the sky.
His hands sank into the dirt. It was grounding and yet painful. He was destroying Aziraphale’s hard work, the hours he spent gardening, caring for his little bit of soil that Crowley had entrusted him with. Nothing had yet had the chance to grow.
“I would give anything”, he whispered.
Were tears fertilizers? He didn’t know but supposed this little patch of soil was receiving them anyway. He studied the bits of grass that had started to grow there. They bent towards the ground now, looking almost sad.
His lack of focus on his surroundings was probably the reason why he didn’t hear her the first time.
The second time, she was already impatient, deciding to speed things up by tapping his shoulder.
Crowley whipped around, strands of hair smacking him in the eyes. He pushed them away and focussed on the person in front of him.
Her dark red umbrella matched the two-piece suit she wore. Her high heels were weirdly devoid of any mud and he could not spot a single drop of water on any bit of clothing. She wore a sneer, seemed to be judging him for something.
“Who are you and what are you doing in my garden?” he snapped. It was more aggressive than he should have been, but she did trespass in a very unfortunate moment.
“I am Shax.” She smiled, a predator seizing up its prey. “And I am here to offer you a deal.”
“What kind of deal?” Crowley was aware that he should question her more, that he should probably tell her to go fuck herself and get lost.
“Did you mean it?” Shax decided to ask instead of answering his question.
Crowley scoffed and finally had enough of the weird asymmetry in height. Standing up, he seized her up, taking in every inch of her frankly ugly looking outfit. “Did I mean what?”
There was an evil twinkle in her eye. “That you would do anything to get him back?”
His face fell, heart stopping its steady beating for a second.
Shax flashed her teeth.
The rain kept pouring. Crowley was beginning to shiver. But maybe that was due to her presence. Her questions and sudden appearance. Something about her … wasn’t right.
“Who are you?” He instinctively took a step back. Aziraphale’s hard work was even further destroyed.
“I am someone who can give you a little more time with him.”
That made him freeze. “No. No, you can’t. He’s… he’s gone.” The last syllable was swallowed by the persistent growing clump of baffled grief.
Shax only rolled her eyes. “What if I could?”
Crowley thought of him. Of white-blond hair and beige coats, of old books and ugly reading glasses, of the most beautiful laugh in the world. He thought of the tires screeching but not being able to slow in time. He thought of blood and cold, lifeless eyes.
“How can you bring him back? You cannot be that powerful.”
Shax smirked. “I’m a demon, honey.”
Crowley recoiled at that.
“But don’t worry”, she continued, before he could counter anything, “you wouldn’t have to sell your soul.”
He bit his lip. “What’s the catch?”
Shax spinned her umbrella and a couple raindrops landed directly in Crowley’s eyes. “You will have to do it again. All of it.“
“What do you mean?” He shivered, but not from the cold rain drenching his clothes.
Her nails were sharp, he noticed. They drummed a rhythm on the handle of her umbrella. “I can only give you this summer. Technically, you will simply go through the last months again, so I won’t have brought him back.”
Crowley hesitated. “Like what? A time loop?”
“Exactly.”
Silence. Crowley thought about it. She must be fucking with him, cannot be real. Maybe she was a figment of his imagination, a way to cope.
But even if none of this was real, it was a worthwhile thought experiment. Would he go through the last month again just so he could see him?
The answer was easy.
“No hidden clauses?”, he double checked.
“I would never.” Her smirk did not help in making her sound genuine.
Crowley decided to ignore it. He stretched out his hand. “I’ll take your deal.”
She grasped his fingers. Hers were warm since she hadn’t stood in the rain for an hour. “One eternal summer coming right up for you.”
Shax lifted her left index finger. Before Crowley could in any way prepare himself, she touched its pad to his forehead.
For an uncomfortable second, nothing happened.
And then, in the blink of an eye, his world was spinning and changing, until he opened his eyes to the ceiling he had not seen since before that fateful morning.
