Chapter Text
January 29th, 2015.
Felix sat, poised as ever in the school's library. The sunlight trickled in through the large windows adorning the walls, creating a beautifully silent scene.
That was until you showed up.
He remembered you. You had tripped the other week, and Felix had caught you. Since then, you’d been stalking him, it seemed. You showed up everywhere he went, chasing him like a puppy.
At first, it was tolerable. You stayed silent, hanging nearby, perhaps to make sure you had a safety net if you were to fall again. To be honest, Felix had no intentions of catching you. But whatever. It all changed when you started talking to him, trying to become his friend. Felix didn’t do friends. He didn’t need nor want any.
Felix took his solitude very seriously. When he’s by himself, he doesn’t get that weird, disgusting sensation that usually occurs when others are nearby. His mother told him that it was called “Anxiety.” Not a pleasant experience. And when you’re around? Don't make him laugh.
And love? Love is the worst of them all. An instinctual excuse to uselessly chase after some random person because of things they can’t control. The thought of being bound to someone scared Felix half to death. When you love someone, you’re chained to them for the rest of your life. Giving up your freedom, independence, and autonomy just to call someone yours? No thanks.
Felix’s thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of falling books behind him. After following the cacophony of noise, unsurprisingly, he saw you. You were seated on the floor, looking dazed. Books were scattered around you as you hurriedly tried to clean up, mumbling an apology.
Felix rolled his eyes. Were you ever not clumsy? It was getting obvious that you were just trying to get his attention.
“You seriously are pathetic. Why won’t you just leave me alone?” He muttered, pinching his nose bridge. His tone was low and snippy, projecting annoyance. Internally, he was a bit amused to see you embarrassing yourself once more.
He watched as you rose and brushed yourself off, following your hands before glancing off to the side.
“I’m not here for you this time, Felix.” You spat, flushed slightly from embarrassment.
Felix raised a single eyebrow, clearly skeptical. His eyes narrowed as he watched you stretch slightly. The movement seemed far too casual for someone who had just made a scene by dumping a pile of literature onto the floor. He didn’t buy it for a second. To him, you were a walking catastrophe, and the idea that you weren't hovering around him for once felt suspiciously like a lie.
“Is that so?” He sat in a chair, his voice smooth but laced with a passive-aggressive edge. He leaned back slightly, the silver ring on his right hand catching the dim library light as he crossed his arms over his dark gray vest.
“Then you must be here for the sheer joy of making noise in a place built for silence. If you aren’t following me, then you’re clearly here to be a nuisance.”
He didn’t move to help you clean up the mess, nor did he look particularly relieved to hear you weren’t following him. He knew how people worked; everyone had an ulterior motive, and you were no exception. You were too bright, too energetic, and far too clumsy just to be “passing through” without some sort of intention.
“If you’re not here for me, then what's the point of you being in this isle?” He gestured vaguely toward the shelves of books with a flick of his wrist, his expression returning to its usual cold, collected state.
He watches you carefully, noting how you glance over at him before sighing. You pick through the shelf before grabbing an old novel– a title he recognized as “No Longer Human.”
“I have a book project,” You speak softly, opening the book. He inspects your lithe movements as you thumb through the book, scanning the pages with a strange sense of purpose.
Your gentle movements were in stark contrast to the clumsy mess you’d just been in. He hated how much that shift caught his attention. He hated even more that you had the audacity to sigh at him, as if his question was irritating you. Most people would be stammering an apology, or at least be looking a little intimidated by his sharp tongue.
“A book project,” He repeated, the words tasting a bit bitter. He let out a short, dry huff of a laugh, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “How original. I suppose you’ll be writing a whole dissertation on how much you love being the center of attention?”
His eyes drifted back to the book. Your choice was strange. A classic, dark, and deeply psychological choice. He felt a tiny, almost imperceptible spark of interest, though he’d sooner die than admit it. It was a far cry from the shallow, vapid literature most students in their school wasted time on.
“At least you’ve got decent taste in titles…” He added, voice dropping an octave. He maintained his stoic expression, shifting his weight as he adjusted his position in the chair. “Though, given how much you struggle with basic coordination, I'm surprised you can even turn the pages without dropping the whole thing.”
He leaned his chin on his hand, his eyes studying you with a piercing, judgmental intensity. “Well? Don’t just stand there looking pretty. If you’re actually planning on reading, sit down. Or are you awaiting permission to exist in my vicinity?” He kept his usual snark, although a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
Your eyes widen. Had he really just…? You glance up at him and smile teasingly.
“Aww, you said I’m pretty.” Felix’s jaw tightened. He hadn’t meant it like that. He was just acknowledging how you looked like a decorative object, but he wasn’t about to correct you and give you the satisfaction. He simply turned his gaze back to his own book, his expression hardening into something even more frost-bitten than usual.
You take a seat and begin to read, becoming engrossed in the book until your phone chimes. You glance down and see a text from Elizabeth. You stiffen before sighing.
“Fuck. Sorry, my girlfriend's calling. Hold on.” You mentally prepare yourself before picking up. The shrill, high-pitched onslaught of her voice is piercing through your ears, already giving you a headache.
“Hey, Elizabeth! No, yeah, I’m just… I’m just at the library.” He watched with a growing sense of irritation. Every word felt like a tiny, rhythmic hammer hitting his patience. The sheer, nauseating sweetness of it made him want to scoff loudly just to interrupt the saccharine atmosphere you were creating. “I- no, I didn’t forget. Yeah. I’ll- I’ll be there at 8. Yeah. Love you too.” You hang up and sigh, running a hand through your hair.
Felix didn’t look up from his page immediately. He let the silence hang between you, heavy and thick with his unspoken judgment.
“Elizabeth,” He finally murmured, the name sounding like an insult on his tongue. He slowly closed his book, though he didn't put it away.
“How predictable. A girlfriend to keep you from having to face your own clumsiness for more than five minutes at a time.” He turned to face you, his gaze sharp and unreadable.
“And here I thought you were actually here to do something productive. Instead, you’re just counting down the minutes until you can go play house. If you’re so desperate to be with herm why are you even sitting here? You’re practically vibrating with the need to leave.”
He leaned forward slightly, his voice dropping to a low, almost dangerous level. “Or is the library just a convenient place to pretend you're a serious student before you go off to be a devoted little boyfriend?”
The words hit a little too close to home. You flinch slightly, thinking of your own situation before laughing, almost self-deprecatingly.
“You think I actually wanna be with her? If I break up with her, her senior jock brother is gonna make my life hell. What am I supposed to do? I can’t keep pretending to love her, but I can’t leave her.” You put your head in your hands, clutching your hair until you feel his gaze on you. You let go and sit up. “Sorry. You probably don’t care.”
Felix stared at you, his eyes narrowing as he processed the sheer, unadulterated stupidity of your predicament. He didn’t laugh; he didn't offer a sympathetic word. Instead, he looked at you with a mixture of genuine disbelief and deep, simmering disdain for the way you let others dictate the terms of your existence.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” He snapped, the sharpness of his voice cutting through your forced laughter. “Of course I don’t care about your pathetic little romantic drama. It’s incredibly boring.”
He leaned back, his slender fingers tapping a rhythmic, impatient beat against the cover of his book. The idea of staying in a relationship just to avoid a confrontation with some brainless jock made his skin crawl. To Felix, freedom was everything. To sacrifice your own truth just to avoid a bit of social friction? It was practically a sin.
“But,” He continued, his voice dipping into that low register that made most turn away, “It’s also incredibly stupid. You're sitting there, pretending to be someone you’re not, just because you’re too cowardly to face a little bit of backlash? You’re supposed to be swift and decisive, yet here you are, caught in a web of your own making because you’re afraid of a boy who probably can’t read a book without a picture guide.”
He let the insult hang in the air, his gaze piercing and cold. He wasn’t trying to be kind; he was trying to provoke you, to see if there was actually any backbone behind that soft exterior you presented.
“If you’re going to sit here and mope, at least do it quietly,” He added, his expression returning to its usual mask of indifference. “Your misery is starting to bleed into my reading, and it's quite distracting.”
You sigh, letting his words sink in.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go. Bye, Felix.” You walk out of the library, sparing a glance over at Felix one last time before the heavy wooden doors shut behind you. This was sure to be the beginning of the most interesting friendship you've had all year.