Chapter Text
Orm Kornnaphat Sethratanapong didn't plan to be a dog walker.
In fact, if you asked her life plan, it was simple: graduate, get a nice boring desk job, wear cute office outfits, maybe flirt awkwardly with an office crush, and spend weekends writing filthy lesbian romance no one would ever read.
Reality, however, laughed in her face.
Because here she was-sweaty, tangled in six tangled leashes, dragged across the park by a pack of insane dogs-including a demon-eyed poodle that smelled like dying dreams-and wondering for the millionth time:
"How the hell did I end up here?"
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Six of Orm's Legendary Job Failures: A Tragic Tale
1. Waitress at Grandma Som's Café - Disaster #1:
She dropped a tray of flaming banana flambé... into a customer's designer handbag.
The fire alarm triggered.
The customer threw hot coffee at her.
Orm escaped covered in whipped cream.
2. Phone Sales Telemarketer - Disaster #2:
She tried to sell insurance... to her old professor.
He recognized her, screamed "I GAVE YOU A D+ IN ECONOMICS!" and hung up.
Twice.
3. Yoga Studio Receptionist - Disaster #3:
Orm tried a beginners' class... got stuck in Downward Dog.
For twenty humiliating minutes.
A grandma had to 'unstick' her.
4. Bikini Car Wash Girl - Disaster #4:
She slipped on wet soap and landed crotch-first on a customer's side mirror.
The video hit 1.2 million views on TikTok.
Becky still sends her the clip weekly.
5. Library Assistant - Disaster #5:
Who knew the ancient librarian was allergic to dust clouds?
Orm sneezed, knocked over three bookshelves, and crushed the microfiche machine.
Insurance never recovered.
6. Cat Café Barista - Disaster #6:
She served soy lattes... to the wrong customers.
One had a dairy allergy.
The other-a cat lover-found cat hair in her drink.
The café cat pissed in Orm's shoes in revenge.
She quit after the cat hissed "Bitch" (or so she swore).
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And so... after almost fifteen failed jobs (including, but not limited to: balloon delivery girl, hotel towel folder, sexy Santa mall elf, and amateur magician's assistant)...
Orm was broke, desperate, and willing to do anything.
Even this.
Dog walking.
Becky signed her up.
Love made her the tragic business cards.
Film (her evil sister) laughed for two hours straight.
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Orm's First Dog Walking Day: Chaos Unleashed
"Easy job, they said," Orm muttered.
"Good money, they said."
Lies. All lies.
She had six dogs tied around her waist like furry, insane missiles.
Two pugs.
One dachshund that waddled like an overstuffed sausage.
One sausage-shaped dachshund that waddled like a pug.
A golden retriever obsessed with humping legs.
And the worst:
Princess Sparkles. The devil poodle.
Pink bows.
Glitter collar.
Fake eyelashes.
Satan in a tiny body.
And Princess Sparkles had seen something.
The poodle yanked forward, snarling like she'd spotted an ex. The other dogs followed. Orm squealed as the leashes dragged her forward-faster-sprinting, slipping, flying across the grass.
Right toward a quiet-looking veterinary clinic.
Oh no.
Oh yes.
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Orm barely saw the glass doors swing open.
A woman in a white vet coat stepped out.
Orm registered:
Tall.
Stunning.
Gorgeous straight black hair.
Sharp cheekbones.
Full lips.
Mole on her left cheek.
Cold, death-stare eyes.
Boobs that could cure world hunger.
Orm's brain screamed. "Lesbian. Hot lesbian. LOOK COOL, ORMKORN-"
Too late.
Princess Sparkles launched.
Like a glittering poodle missile, the dog tore free-soaring through the air straight at the vet's face.
THWACK.
The poodle flattened against the woman's chest with a squelch and a squeal. Orm skidded across the pavement-face first into the vet's shoe.
Silence.
Orm slowly looked up.
The vet stared down.
Expressionless.
Deadpan.
Poodle claws clung to her boob like a fuzzy chest parasite.
"Is this yours?" the vet asked dryly.
Orm opened her mouth.
A pug farted loudly behind her.
The vet sighed.
"I'm Dr. Lingling Sirilak Kwong," she said, peeling the poodle off her chest and holding it out like a diseased pillow. "And you owe me a new shirt."
Orm swallowed. "I-I can clean it for you?" she squeaked.
Lingling raised an eyebrow. "With what? Dog spit and desperation?"
Behind them, the clinic secretary-View-poked her head out.
Phone in hand.
Filming.
"Omigod. This is going viral," View whispered, grinning. "#FlyingPoodleAttack. #ClumsyDogWalkerFailsAgain."
Orm wanted to die.
Or explode.
Or crawl under the nearest bush and live there forever.
Instead, she forced a shaky smile.
"H-Hello," she muttered. "I'm Orm. Your new dog walker."
Lingling's eyes slowly, wickedly narrowed.
"This," she said flatly, flicking poodle fur off her cleavage, "is going to be interesting."
Orm whimpered.
The poodle farted.
And so, with crushed pride, glitter fur, and six barking lunatics tangled around her legs, Orm's dog-walking disaster career officially began.