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Dean watched the bullet hit Charlie's neck. Dead. Instantly. Tears welled up in his eyes. His alpha walpha zaddy waddy just got shot and murdered. His chat was going nuts. Like how Charlie would when they were in bed.
He couldn't believe it. His pookie wookie dookie lookie mookie was gone.
This meant no more nights in bed, curled up by his side, licking his armpit. Dean wouldn't be able to get that exquisite taste anymore. Charlie wouldn't bust in his ass anymore and get him pregnant anymore.
All their children, all 24 of their children were gone. Dean only had one left. You see, Dean was like an advent calender. Every day in December leading up to Christmas, Dean gave birth to one baby.
Charlie yelled at him and told him to keep the accidental 25th one. Because apparently, this one was Jesus. Being born on Christmas day and all. The others were donated to charity for food. They loved newborn babies, as they were known delicacies.
Dean loved when Charlie yelled at him. It was like someone ignited a fire inside his womb furnace. Everytime Charlie came inside him, it was fuel to the fire. He yelled at Dean during sex, almost constantly. It was soooo hot. Dean loved teddy weddy doopy duppy bear screamed at him till his ears were ringing.
He was pretty sure Charlie was calling him slurs.
But now those days were gone. Dean would have to find a new alpha. One that would also fill him up and make him an advent calender.
He forgot he was still streaming when he began violently sobbing. The chat lighting up with "No Dean don't blame yourself!" And "CHARLIE WAS MY FICTIONKIN 💔"
Dean roared.
"HE'S NOT YOUR FICTIONKIN. I YUMESHIPPED WITH HIM!!" His face was red.
Some dumbass chatter said that they actually yumeshipped with Charlie. Dean couldn't believe it. Somebody else was trying to claim his alpha dookie as theirs. He saw red.
He ran outside with a glock 19 in hand. Shooting the place up like it wad the 4th of July. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye. He saw Will Byers and Mike Wheeler holding hands. It reminded Dean of him and Charlie. The redness of his vision blinded him.
The next thing he knew, was that Will and Mike were lying dead on his lawn. If he and Charlie couldn't have a happy ending then no one can. He had shot both Will and Mike in the head 67 times.
Sonic and Shadow had also appeared on his lawn. How many gay people were going to show up? And how many did he have to shoot before Charlie returned? Maybe he would return and yell at Dean some more. Sonic and Shadow were dead within a picosecond.
Barack Obama was there with Harry sty-Harry styles? They were actually a thing? Who knew the stupid edits on tiktok weren't jokes. They even had matching tramp stamps showing above their matching thongs.
Fuck, he wasn’t done with all the stupid gay people. The Outsiders had appeared. They were dead. Darry, Sodapop, Ponyboy, Johnny, Dally, Twobit, Steve, all had huge bullet holes through their chests. Maybe if he killed a few more, than Charlie would come back and reward him for killing gay people.
Aziraphale and Crowley were watching as Asa and Anthony died. They were bewildered. How could Dean do this?
Superman and Batman had been killed too. Turns out the bullets had been made of super duper strong green kryptonite and killed Superman. Dean was a force to be stopped.
He shot every gay couple that spawned on his lawn. The grass went from a crisp emerald green to crimson red within 10 minutes. Lightning McQueen and Mator leaked oil and gas. It was terrible for the environment.
The 15 foot Freddy Fazbear replica Dean had gotten on Christmas, a reward for birthing Jesus, suddenly came to life. The eyes lit up and Freddy pulled out an AK-47.
"Yo Dean. Who you want me to kill?" Freddy asked. Freddy was dripped out in the red Fred Durst hat and a chain. He was incredibly drippy. So drippy, that Dean thinks that Charlie would have been jealous.
But nobody was better than Charlie. Even though the President had said so. Dean could recall that very day.
Trump stood on his podium in front of his MAGA cult followers. They were only there because they paid a permanent subscription to his OnlyFans and now they were legally binded to attend every event. Pretty gay if you asked me. (Me, the author, a homo. And my friend who is also a homo)
Dean knew Trump kisses boys. Charlie had shown him photos of when him Trump, Biden, Obama, Elon, JD, and Discord from My Little Pony would all have orgies. Charlie only took pictures of Trump. Maybe there was something between them. But Dean never wanted to bring it up. Because Dean would be yelled at, then he would be absolutely pounded because again, being yelled at makes him bricked up as fuuuuuck.
Dean knew what he needed to do.
Go to the White House and kill Trump.
---
Dean was sitting in his car, a hot barbie pink that was incredibly secretive. He held a McMillan TAC-50. It was so inconvenient because it really didn't fit in his car so the tip stuck out the window. But this was his moment. His chance to be seen.
He stepped out, carrying his sniper with one hand effortlessly. Walking over to a window where he had a clear shot at Trump. Him and his bald ass head. This man really thought he had a chance with Charlie. But Dean would make sure that he couldn't even touch his corpse.
Dean liked the gun up, pointing at Trump. He pulled the trigger.
BANG!!!
He shot him. Dean actually killed the president. He would be even more famous for this. More famous for his relationship with Charlie. He would be king of the world.
"GET ON THE GROUND."
Dean was dumb enough to forget that Trump would have bodyguards. But he didn't put the sniper rifle down. He stood his ground. Like his alpha would want him to.
"PUT THE GUN DOWN."
"Fuh nah" Dean said back. His gun dragging in the dirt.
"PUT THE GUN DOWN YOU FUCKING FUCKFACE"
"Swearing just to swear bro. Now tell me why abortion is wrong." Dean challenged him. He pulled out his phone and discovered that he he was still streaming somehow.
The bodyguard put down his gun and pushed up sunglasses.
"Erm, well-" BANG!
The bodyguard was dead.
"Hey chat, you're probably thinking that is pretty crazy right now." Dean smirked as he began recalling the story since his phone was his back pocket the entire time. They were all still supporting him even though he told them he killed Lightning McQueen, everyone's favorite candidate for the next presidential election.
"I think it's time we end this, once and for all." He finished. He held up the sniper to his forehead, having to crouch down and hold the gun really awkwardly because it was way too long. He pulled the trigger.
Dean Withers was dead.
But now he could be reunited with his long lost love, Charlie Kirk. He could be yelled at and lick his armpits as much as Dean wanted to in MAGA heaven.