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It wasn't a big thing. Just the piling of a million little things until one was too many.
Well, whatever it was, it had her crumbled on her couch, hugging her plushie to simulate comfort, watching a comfort show, snuggled under a comfortable, fluffy blanket, stuffing her face with comfort food.
But it wasn't enough. Being alone during these moments was normal, but it was just silent suffering until she managed to piece herself back together to appear like a functional member of society again.
It'd been like this for years. So many years of dealing with it solo that she didn't even realize she could ask her partner for his help at first. She didn't have the energy for phone notifications, let alone contacting someone. All she managed was a simple hug emoji.
When she heard the telltale knock on her balcony door, she first jumped in surprise, then slowly sat up, trying to gather herself at least a little bit.
Hawks watched as she approached, wiping her eyes on her sleeves. Their meetings usually started with playful energy, but these times required gentleness, he'd learned.
“Hey, dove. I'm here.”
He closed the door behind himself gently, and brushed some hair from her forehead.
“Let's get you comfy again, yeah?”
She nodded, and followed him back to the couch. Her favourite corner had molded around her, and she easily slotted back into it.
“I'll get you some cold water?” he hummed, helping tuck her under the blanket. Once he earned another nod, he disappeared into the kitchen.
Not much later he reappeared, holding a water bottle with a straw. He sat down next to her, and held the straw to her lips.
“Thanks…” she murmured, letting him help her drink. She'd cried a lot already, and she probably would be crying more, after all.
He watched her, hand supportive on her knee, no judgement found in his gaze. Not about her old pajamas or greasy hair, not about all the snack wrappers on the coffee table, not about her puffy, tired eyes.
Once she was done, she placed the bottle down, and turned to look at his hand, seemingly gathering her courage. Finally, she glanced at his eyes, then buried her face in his shoulder, hand reaching to hold his.
“Oh. There we go”, he smiled, turning slightly for a more comfortable angle. He lifted his other hand to cup the back of her head, petting her unwashed hair with gentleness and affection one wouldn't expect from the number two hero. “I've got you.”
It's no surprise her eyes watered again. Just having her forehead against a person instead of a pillow or plushie made her feel incredibly safe. She snuggled closer, hiccuping quietly.
Hawks didn't say anything, just leaned to kiss the top of her head. He stayed there, eyes closed, listening to her, hurting for her pain but also glad that he could be there for her, that she trusted him this much.
“....Want me to hold you fully?” he asked gently, knowing that surprises could make it worse. He was glad to earn another nod, and gathered her into his arms, letting her forehead rest against his collarbone.
The moment he wrapped his arms around her, she broke, fully weeping into his shirt, her hands clutching the fabric. He held her through it, not too tight, not too loose, and didn't complain in the slightest, instead running his hand along her back comfortingly, placing featherlight kisses between murmured words into her hair.
“You've been so strong for so long. But you're allowed to not be strong sometimes. I'm proud of you no matter what.”
He wrapped his wings around them both, enclosing her in warmth, blocking what little light she had on in the room.
“Getting tired isn't a weakness. You're still human. And you're doing your best. More than your best, even.”
He lifted her face so he could meet her eyes, wiping a tear as he cupped her cheek.
“So you'd better not be cursing yourself out inside your head again”, he exhaled in a soft, sad laugh. “You wouldn't say them to anyone else. And I definitely wouldn't say them to you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers.
“We can cuddle and watch something chill. Whatever helps you recharge and feel better. Okay, dove?”
She would've nodded, but hummed softly instead.
“Thanks. Love you, Kei.”
He parted just enough to kiss her forehead.
“Love you too, y/n. Now let me take care of you”, he chuckled, brought her screensharing device closer with his feathers, and pressed play on her comfort show again, letting her melt into him to lazily watch the show.
Unsurprisingly, she eventually dozed off, feeling much calmer and safer in the arms of her favourite person.
Hawks just smiled affectionately, feeling lucky to be her anchor in the storm.
“I've got you. Sleep well, love dove", he breathed, kissing her hair again, closing his own eyes as well.