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Waiting was antagonizing.
Who even came up with the idea of waiting? It was the dumbest thing ever to exist since Mondstadt thought double-colored skirts were in style. Granted, such a thing was still trending (it should NOT be), but still.
Anxiously waiting, Furina sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the door, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms hugging them closer. She was terrified. The answer she was waiting for could make or break her life. And if she were being honest, she’d rather it make her life.
And Arlecchino’s life.
Oh, if it were true, how would she tell the harbinger? How would she react to the news of her girlfriend’s pregnancy? Would she even want biological kids after raising her own children in the orphanage for ten years? Arlecchino had teenage children whom she had raised since they were little kids, and, knowing how kids and teenagers are (little menaces and incredibly annoying, judging by how Furina had seen parents deal with their own over the years), she wondered if Arlecchino would even want to try for Furina's sake.
Somehow, she doesn’t think so. She knew the first stage of a human is the baby phase, and the House of the Hearth doesn’t take newborns. The next stage was the toddler stage, and the orphanage hadn’t received a toddler in a long time. Would Arlecchino even want to relearn how to take care of a toddler, much less a newborn? Would she want to raise a biological child in the first place?
There was another thing. Arlecchino was not particularly in tune with her emotions. Furina knew how stoic Arlecchino was; showing emotions was difficult for her. It would be easy for her to pretend to be happy for the sake of Furina.
Oh, what would her reaction be?
“That’s nice, Furina. Did you cook dinner for tonight?”
“…Is that what you’re excited about?”
What if Arlecchino changed her mind when the baby came along? Maybe she’d realize afterwards that having a biological child was a stupid idea, much less with Furina—
Her eyes take a small glance at the test on the floor in front of her.
Her mismatched eyes go wide.
Double lines.
Double. Lines.
Double… Lines?
She pathetically scrambled to the box on the counter, roughly grabbed it, and shoved her hand in to retrieve the paper instructions. She pulled it out and stretched it out so she could read the words printed properly. She fumbled for the section about what the two lines meant. Soon, she found it.
“Pregnancy: If your result is positive, see your doctor.”
Below the words were four pictures. The first photo showed exactly what she wanted to know.
The double lines on the screen meant someone was pregnant.
So… Furina was pregnant?
There was no way…
At first, she was thinking about everything in an imaginative way… not thinking about whether it was really going to happen… But now it’s reality.
Now it’s real. It’s happening. And she can’t fucking believe it.
Furina took small steps back in fear before tripping over something irrelevant and falling to the ground. She fell with a loud thump; it hurt like a bitch, but that was the least of her worries.
All this time, she was thinking about Arlecchino and how she would react if she were pregnant. She thought it wouldn’t happen—she thought the test would be negative. But now that it’s true, how would she react now?
She'd have to go to the doctor and see if the test was for real or not—
No. It was true. She believed it. After all, she’s been feeling sick these past few days: throwing up occasionally in the morning, getting more clingy towards Arlecchino, and eating different combinations of macaroni. Hell, she didn’t even eat all her desserts this one time. Even Arlecchino was concerned.
And it would make sense. After everything she just said, and a month ago, she and her harbinger participated in unprotected sex. It wasn’t on purpose. But they were both so needy after not seeing one another for three whole months. The thought of a condom briefly crossed her mind, but Arlecchino was so focused between her knees that the thought slipped away just as fast as it appeared.
She felt like she was getting off topic. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at the positive pregnancy test near her feet.
Does she even want this child?
She’s always wanted to raise a child. She loved the innocence and happiness of children, oblivious to the evil in the world, only knowing the beauty of the planet they are on. She loved that they always seemed so cheerful, even in the worst of circumstances. Although she was born knowing everything, she wished she had the opportunity to enjoy it.
She would be overjoyed to see her little boy or girl's eyes light up as they pulled on her sleeve and jumped up and down.
It was official. She wanted to be a mother. She wanted to take care of a child and give them all the love they deserve, something she didn’t get herself.
Now that begs the question: What would Arlecchino—
“My love, I’m home.”
…
Oh, fuck.
Immediately getting up, Furina scrambled to hide the evidence. She’s read books about women hiding their pregnancy from their husbands by putting it in the trash can, and later on their husbands found out because it was such a ridiculous spot to hide it in. Determined not to repeat what they did, Furina hastily shoved the test box into her hoodie pocket, making a mental note to hide it in a sock or something when she cleaned herself up.
Then she tidied up the mess she had made. It was just paper towels on the floor where she wiped away her tears. She washed her face to remove the marks left by her tears.
Feeling rejuvenated, she exited the bathroom, turning her head in the direction of the kitchen. Hm, that’s weird. Where was Arlecchino? Usually she’d be in the kitchen getting a drink, or in the living room waiting for—
“Furina?”
A blood-curdling scream echoed throughout the house.
“Archons, Arle, I told you not to scare me like that!”
Arlecchino blinked, once, twice, before tilting her head. Furina briefly wondered why she'd do that, then it dawned on her just how loud she had been. Now it was obvious that something was bothering her.
Leaning in, the taller woman raised her hand and rested the back of it on Furina’s forehead. “Are you feeling ill?”
Furina took a step back, stumbling a bit. “Uh—I’m perfectly fine.” Her eyes darted everywhere but Arlecchino’s face. “I—I made dinner! Your favorite.” She changed the subject, reaching out for her hand to guide her to the pot on the stove. “I think I put too much seasoning… but it should be okay.”
She lifted the cover on the pot to breathe in the scent of Arlecchino’s favorite dish. This particular meal wasn’t exactly her own favorite, but it was something her girlfriend said she loved as a little kid, so she decided to make it today, before she knew she was pregnant.
With the way she was acting, Arlecchino paid close attention to the shorter girl, observing her movements and every twitch of her hand in hers. Arlecchino was always remarkably attentive, catching even the most insignificant of details. She knew everything about Furina that she herself didn’t even know.
…and I haven't even told her the news yet…
In the end, Furina didn’t let it bother her. Even if she were scared of what Arlecchino would say, that was a future problem of hers. Right now, she wanted to revel in the moment of their after-work quality time.
A whole month went by, and Furina had not told Arlecchino anything. Furina, to her credit, had been working tirelessly in her director roles and attempting to make the play flawless for half a month. She didn’t have the time to make a doctor’s appointment and get checked out.
Though with the way she was throwing up every morning and keeping it a secret from Arlecchino, the pregnancy test might have been true.
But earlier this week, she went to the doctor to ensure her baby was fine. Since she finally accepted this, that was the bare minimum she could do.
After the nurse told her that her baby was healthy and getting the nutrients it needed, she jumped for joy and wanted to celebrate, but had no one to do it with. Telling her friends she was pregnant first and not her girlfriend was something she knew Arlecchino wouldn’t forgive, and frankly she wouldn’t either if it happened to her.
So, her only option was to tell Arlecchino the truth.
The harbinger suspected something was wrong, but she couldn't pinpoint what. Furina grinned in glee every time Arlecchino got it wrong whenever she guessed what was amiss.
However, Arlecchino’s birthday was in a few days, and Furina decided it would be a perfect time to tell the truth. It was better to do it after her birthday, not before. Furina didn’t want Arlecchino to be worrying about her all day, asking every five minutes if she was alright.
Knowing that the harbinger did not enjoy celebrating her birthday, the ex-archon wanted it to be all about her. And knowing that Arlecchino had prioritized Furina in every category, she especially wanted to focus solely on her.
Throwing her head back and staring into the blue sky, she sighed heavily. Man, all this pregnancy stuff was getting to her head. She’s not even that far into her first trimester, but she was already feeling some way.
Maybe I should go inside… that’ll make me feel better. She stared at her front door, arm raised, key in hand. She knew Arlecchino was inside, and despite everything she had thought just a second earlier, she was not in the mood to greet her. Perhaps she was going through hormonal changes because she was pregnant. That was something she was entirely not ready for.
She didn’t want to snap at Arlecchino when she was trying to be genuinely kind and caring. Right now, her mood swings weren’t as prominent, but she knew later on in the trimester they would be difficult to hide—
“Furina?”
“A—Arlecchino!”
Did she hear me thinking outside the door?
“Come inside; it’s chilly out.” That’s right, it did rain earlier today. Arlecchino guided the shorter woman inside with a hand at the small of her back, leading her to the couch while putting away the things she was holding. “Do you want some tea? It’ll be a little while before dinner is finished.”
Furina sat there, hands folded on her lap. Her heart thudded in her chest, and blood was rushing in her ears. She didn’t know why she was nervous. Arlecchino had asked her this question almost every day for months, and she had sat in this specific spot on her couch for years. Why was something that she had been doing for years suddenly making her sick to her stomach?
Moments later, her girlfriend came back with her tea. “Careful, my love, it’s hot.”
Furina slowly took the cup of tea with precision, blowing cool air and watching the steam dissipate. The sight eased the weight off her shoulders, but not enough for that nervousness to subside.
Arlecchino sat beside her, offering to hold her tea if she wanted to take off her tailcoat. Furina politely declined, instead wanting to drink her tea in silence. This was completely unlike her, and the harbinger was aware of it; however, she remained silent to avoid exacerbating the tension in the room.
The silence in the room was so thick you could cut it with a dull knife, although Arlecchino did not know why Furina was so tense. She wondered if something had happened at work or if the tea wasn’t to her standards.
“Furina, if something is the matter, you know you can talk to me—”
Furina slammed the cup onto the coffee table. "Oh my Archons," Furina began, standing up to feel some power over the Harbinger. “Could I get some peace for five minutes? I’ve had a long day, Arlecchino.” She shouted, pinching the bridge of her nose.
The two hadn’t gotten into an argument since Arlecchino left for Snezhnaya for business. Granted, they didn’t see each other for three months after that, but still. Contrary to belief, they actually did a good job of communicating when something bothered them.
Well, almost.
When Furina came back to reality and realized what she had done, she gasped. “Oh, Arle, I’m so sorry, I—” She couldn’t finish her sentence because tears started streaming down her cheeks. She had always been emotional, even before she and Arlecchino got together. It was something she wasn’t fond of, because she feared people would think she was manipulating them.
“Furina.”
Arlecchino wordlessly stood up and pulled the ex-archon into her arms, holding her tightly against her body. She rested her head gently on top of Furina’s head, breathing in the scent of her rainbow rose shampoo. The knave said nothing, stroking her hand lightly up Furina’s back. She cooed gently, whispering sweet nothings in Furina’s ears.
Furina sobbed and sobbed; she’d have to apologize for ruining Arlecchino’s nightwear. But right now, that was the least of her worries. She just wanted to cuddle into her girlfriend’s arms and sleep.
—
“Droplet, are you going to tell me what happened earlier?” Arlecchino asked, carding her fingers through Furina’s sky-blue hair.
She stayed quiet, thinking hard about whether to spill her secret or not.
“…No. I can’t—I’m sorry, Arle.” She gently kissed the woman’s neck. “Maybe… After your birthday. It’s in two days, right?”
All Arlecchino did was nod, leaving a kiss on Furina’s forehead lovingly. She was too understanding sometimes. “It’s alright. I’ll be here whenever you want to talk, okay?”
Furina nodded, leaning closer to the woman’s body warmth. It’ll all be okay in two days, she promised.
—
Everything was not fine after two days.
On the day of Arlecchino’s birthday, it was too busy to the point where Furina didn’t have any time to tell her the good news.
She had been adamant about going through with a birthday party at the House of the Hearth, with all the children and friends. To top it all off, Furina had to make a totally scrumptious cake, Navia had to make at least two hundred macarons for all the kids, and she had to keep Arlecchino busy.
Of course, other things had to be done. But those were the main things to be carried out.
The day was also so hectic: caring for the children and ensuring they didn't hurt themselves that Arlecchino and Furina were exhausted by the end. They passed out the moment they hit the bed.
The entire plan relied on Furina telling the Harbinger on the day of, not the days after!
It was now three days after Arlecchino’s birthday, and the secret had not been told yet. And it was killing Furina!
How many excuses had she told to justify her random mood swings throughout the day?! It was killing her to lie to her girlfriend! Of course, they were small white lies, but it still hurt her nonetheless.
But now, she’s a grown adult, ready to tell Arlecchino the truth!
—
It was five in the afternoon, and she was wearing her “Kiss the Cook!” apron that Navia had gotten her last birthday. The couple usually started dinner a little early for Furina to cater to Arlecchino's love for raw… meat. But it wasn’t a big deal to her.
Plus, Furina loved seeing the sparkle in her girlfriend’s eyes whenever she ate something that was to her liking. It caused the ex-archon's heart to swell and her eyes to water at the domesticity of the sight.
Furina concentrated on dinner, trying to think how to tell Arlecchino properly. Would it be weird to tell her the moment she walked in the front door? Or wait until after they ate dinner?
A noise echoed through the kitchen, but she didn’t pay any mind to it. On the one hand, it would be preferable to wait until Arlecchino had relaxed after a long day at work. She became irritable when she was unable to cool down. But on the other hand, Furina wanted to get it over and done with…
Clearly one had more pros than the other.
A pair of arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, resting their chin on her shoulder. “I missed you, Droplet,” Arlecchino whispered, kissing the length of her neck. “What’s for dinner?”
Furina’s face burned red at the show of affection. “H—Hi, Arle. I missed you too.” She twisted her head to kiss Arlecchino. “We’re just having sweet madame with potatoes and carrots. It’s a Mondstadt delicacy.”
The Harbinger’s hands pressed gently onto her stomach, stroking the area with a tenderness of someone petting a puppy.
Does she know?
No, her knowing would be impossible. How would she know anyway? Well, maybe how Furina’s been acting would give it away. Her excuses had been substandard. Damn it, she’s been an actress for over five hundred years; how could she be so mediocre now?!
“Hey, Arle…?”
Arlecchino hummed, landing another kiss on the shorter woman’s neck. Furina quickly lowered the stove's temperature before turning around. She took in a deep breath, mentally preparing herself. Now would be a good time, right?
Her face flushed a bright red to the point where someone would think she was sweating after a long, hot day. She grabbed Arlecchino’s arms and gently pulled them away from her before fully turning around to face her. Sometimes, she forgot how tall her girlfriend was, even without her heels. “Umm, I know I’m a bit late for your birthday… but—”
She swallowed thickly, hands fumbling together. She tried everything in her power to avoid all eye contact with the woman in front of her, diverting her gaze to everything but those red X’s.
“But I wanted to tell you that…”
…
“Agh, I’m pregnant! You truly are a father now!
…
…
…
“Arlecchino—?” Furina gradually peeked up to see her face. To her absolute horror, it was worse than she could imagine. Arlecchino’s eyes were brimming with wonder and sparkles, red X’s beaming with excitement. Furina’s jaw dropped. What kind of out-of-character expression is that?!
“Are you serious?”
Furina swallowed again. “Y—Yes… I found out a couple of weeks ago,” she explained, rubbing the back of her neck. “I was too scared to tell you… in case you didn’t want it.”
“Do you want this?”
Of course she would be asking her that. Over the past few weeks, Furina had been privately pondering whether she truly wanted this baby. She was always used to doing things for other people, wanting to make them happy. But she seldom did things for her own pleasure.
But she came to the conclusion that she indeed wanted this baby. She wanted to raise a child from newborn to adulthood, teaching them the little things and life-changing lessons. She wanted a little human to love and nurture, someone who looked half like her and half like the love of her life.
She wanted to see those little hands attempt to grab her face; she wanted to hear those giggles, filled with joy, in her ears and those broken cries for its mother. She wanted to be loved and needed by someone else.
“Yes. I do want this… do you?”
Truth be told, if Arlecchino didn’t want this child, it would absolutely destroy her to no end. But she wouldn’t back down. It was her body and her choice. She was certain that Arlecchino would not coerce her into giving up the child. Such a thing was below the Harbinger.
“Of course I do, Furina. I would love to start a family with you.”
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Arle—you're… serious?”
Arlecchino raised one hand and settled it over her heart. “I swear on everything I’ve ever loved, Droplet.”
She pulled Furina close to leave kisses all over her face. This was certainly an out-of-character reaction for the woman, but Furina was not complaining.
Suddenly, Arlecchino slid her hand under the back of Furina’s knee, her other hand resting on her back to lift her in her arms. "Ah—Arle! I still have to finish dinner!”
With hesitation, Arlecchino laid the ex-archon back on her feet, not before landing a couple more kisses on her lips. “I apologize, Droplet,” she coughed in her fist. “I am just… excited, for lack of a better word.
“It’s alright, Arle. And I can tell,” Furina giggled, smiling big at the taller woman. “You’re so cute when you’re all excited!”
Furina chuckled before turning back to focus on the dinner at hand.
“Have you gotten to the doctor’s yet to confirm?”
“Mhm! A month after I found out. I wanted to do it earlier, but I was too busy.”
Arlecchino settled back into the position she had been in before Furina had told her the good news, her hands wrapping around her middle even softer now. “When’s your follow-up appointment?”
“September 20th.”
The Harbinger, who felt all giddy inside, gave a peck on the base of Furina’s neck. “I will make sure my schedule is clear that day.”
Furina turned. “Are you sure? I know you’re busy around that time… the Tsarista called forth all the Harbingers on that day, right?”
“Droplet, I will never miss the appointment of our baby girl—or boy,” she deadpanned at the ex-archon. “I will always be there for you two, no matter the situation.”
The other woman smiled wide. She knew Arlecchino would always be there for her; she just wanted her to say it. “Okay. I love you, Arle.”
A warm smile appeared on the usually stoic Harbinger’s face. “I love you too, Furina.”
—