Work Text:
‘What the fuck?’
Simon opened his eyes to a void of red. His stomach dropped at the vast endlessness, the creeping familiarity crawling up his skin. Crimson pooled against his legs and he could feel the heat radiating from it, sweat building up on his skin. He tried to move, but the blood was thick, like cement hardening and keeping him place.
“Please, please not here again…” He croaked out as he continued to pull and struggle, choking on his breath as the heat started to intensify “I got out! I escaped, I fucking lived! You can’t put me back down there-“
“What makes you think you deserved to live after your sentence?” That voice. A chill ran up Simon’s spine, freezing him in place more than he already was. “You really believe you made it out, don’t you? Deep down, you know the truth.”
“No, no no you’re fucking with me!” Simon yelled, tears running down his face “THIS isn’t real! I made it out of the fucking deathtrap and now have a new life! Ryland, he-“
“You really think he cares for you? Don’t be so naive”
Shut up.
The blood started rising rapidly. He could feel it burning through his clothes.
“Oh convict, that man you see as an Angel is nothing but a hallucination.”
Please shut up.
He was now waist deep, the blood gripping his wrists like chains.
“What makes you think you could be anything more than the monster he sees you as?”
That’s not true.
“You were just a means to an end, fulfilling one last act before your death sentence."
Red lapped at his shoulders and cut into his exposed skin. He felt like he was boiling.
“A man of your nature deserves to suffer down there, Butcher-“
“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!”
He felt himself choke as the blood flowed into his mouth, scorching his throat. It worsened as he gasped for air, only to let more paint his lungs red. He tried to scream and fight, but his vision blurred before everything around him turned to rust.
-
Simon woke up with a choked cry, his breath coming out harsh and fast. Tears formed in his eyes as he coughed, the feeling of blood still stained his throat and lungs. His chest burned as he fought to take in as much air as he could. The sweat stuck to his skin. It felt like blood. The faint hot, burning sensation still lingered on his skin.
Simon frantically looked around the room and tried to scan his surroundings, but the tears made his vision hazy. The night light illuminating only enough to see he was, in fact, in he and Ryland’s shared bedroom.
Wait, Ryland.
He patted the space next to him. Nothing.
“Fuck where is he…” Simon’s thoughts were sporadic as he tumbled out of the bed. He felt dizzy as he stood.
“Fuck fuck fuck what if he isn’t-“ He swayed over to the door to start his search, his stomach churned, a dreaded sick feeling settling in with each step.
He was going to throw up.
He made his way through the hall, almost tripping on the many shoes Ryland leaves about. Simon panted as he leaned against the wall leading to common space. Nothing there either. The fear bubbled in his chest as he continued to stagger through the house. As he made his way to the kitchen, he saw him.
Leaning against the counter, a coffee in one hand, and another scrolling through a tablet that was perched up. His eyes squinted with sleep as he continued to read. A single light was on in the kitchen, bright against his hair. And with Simon’s tired, tear filled eyes, it really did look like a halo shone around him.
God, he really was an Angel.
“R-Ryland?” He croaked as he made his way towards the other man. His balance started to falter, but he tried to straighten himself up so he could keep his gaze on the man in front of him.
“Huh? Oh Simon hey I didn’t notice you were- oh fudge are you ok?!” Ryland immediately put his mug down as he turned his full attention to the man stumbling towards him. Ryland opened his mouth to speak again but was stopped when Simon was right in front of him, not before almost tripping over himself in a hurry. His right hand immediately reached towards Ryland’s face, his hand cupping his cheek. It felt desperate. Gentle, even in Simon’s sporadic state.
“F-fuck Ryland you’re real? Are you real?” Simon stuttered as his hand felt different parts of the other's face. “Shit, I-I thought for a second that…” His fingers moved to run through his sandy blonde hair as tears started to spill past his eyes. Any thought he had trailed off as a sob began to escape his lips.
“Thought what, Si? What happened?” Ryland asked, eyes wide and filled with concern, reaching up to place his hand atop Simon’s, a gentle reminder he was there. “I’m right here Simon, I’m real I promise. Did… did you have a nightmare?”
It had been months since Simon had a nightmare to this extent. They still would come and go, but long were the days of waking up crying, screaming of horrifying memories. Seeing Simon affected to this extreme again brought back all those nights, and Ryland felt a sadness wash over him.
Simon was making a lot of progress during his time on Erid, but Ryland realized something. Knowing his night terrors had gotten better, Ryland has used this as a chance to stay up working on his projects later into the night. Which he was doing now.
He, Rocky and Adrian have been trying to come up with new designs for Simon's prosthetic. They wanted Simon to have the ability to have some sense of feeling to it.
Ryland had been pulling a lot of late hours getting sucked into the project and he knew it’d be worth it in the end. Simon deserved the best after all. But this also meant lately, he hadn’t been going to bed with Simon. He always said it was fine, there was no reason to go to bed at the same time (but it always followed with Simon nagging him playfully to not pull an all-nighter).
Now Ryland wondered- were his nightmares starting to get worse again because he wasn’t there? Because he wasn’t watching over him to make sure he fell into a peaceful sleep?
Ryland’s thoughts came to a halt when Simon's head fell to his shoulders, sobs still escaping his lips.
“I-I just needed to make sure you were o-ok… The voice it… T-that fucking voice said you weren’t-” An ache pained in Ryland’s heart. He remembers Simon talking about his past nightmares and this “voice” he hears in them.
“Hey hey, Si it’s ok just breathe, alright? You’re here and you’re safe I promise.” Ryland said softly into his ear, his hand making his way to gently run his fingers through black strands. He knew it was something Simon found comforting. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been there to watch over you as you sleep, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when this happened…”
A shaky breath escaped Simon’s lips.“N-no, why are you sorry? Fuck Ryland, you’re to g-good for me!” His legs started to feel weak. He let them take him down, knees hitting the floor. He rested his head on Ryland’s stomach and gripped at his shirt as he tried to contain his tears.
“I-I just don’t get it! What did I do to deserve all of this! Adrian, Rocky, y-you? All you guys have done since I showed up here is show me n-nothing but kindness, even after you learned what I’ve done…” his breath came out shaky “Y-you actually see me as a p-person. T-to see me as someone w-who… who has a life worth l-living. To look at me with such caring eyes, say such t-thoughtful words, to have feelings for me you say you’ve never felt for anyone else… I-I don’t deserve any of this...”
“Oh Si,” Ryland let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding “my beloved Simon…” Ryland felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes looking at the man below him. He’d never look so small before. His long hair curtained his face, but Ryland could feel the pained expression coming from it.
Ryland gently tapped him on the shoulder “Alright, I’m coming down, gimme some space.” Simon was about to protest, but Ryland already was leaning down to the floor. Simon sunk further down, keeping his head low, tears dripping down his cheeks. Ryland took the other's hand into his own, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles across his skin. Another reminder.
“Simon, I know I will never fully understand what you went through, and what it’s like to hear that voice in your head, but I am always going to be here for you, no matter what it is. You may think you don’t deserve this, but you do. You are a good person, one of the nicest and sweetest I’ve ever known.” he felt Simon’s hand shift and their fingers interlocked.
“You make sure I eat breakfast everyday before class, you cook my lunch and dinner everyday too. You like to come sit in on my classes because you actually enjoy what I have to teach, and gosh, you’re so good with the pebbles, it’s cute.” Ryland chuckled a little to himself. He thought he heard a huff come from Simon, and smiled at that.
“You indulge in me showing you Earth culture, you even watch the silly cartoons I like with me, even though you don’t have to, but you do. You let me ramble on and on about what’s going on in my head at that moment, but you never seem to get annoyed.” Ryland’s voice lowered, just above a whisper, “Do you know how much that means to me? I had to live my life on Earth holding back talking too much because people didn’t want to hear it.”
Ryland let out a sad laugh and ran his hand gently up Simon's arm, giving him an opening if he wanted to pull away. But Simon let him, and tiled his head up slightly to meet his gaze, eyes glassy.
“But by far the sweetest thing you have ever done is just understand me. You have given me so much patience in understanding what our relationship is. Everyday.” Ryland gave Simon’s hand a gentle squeeze, “Every. Day. you make sure I’m comfortable, you ask me what I want, or if something is too much. And if that isn’t something a good person deserving of love would do, then I don’t know what it is.”
“I… Ryland I…” the word caught in Simon’s throat, all of his emotions making his brain foggy, but his chest bloomed with warmth.
Ryland lifted his hand, right beside Simon's face in silent invitation. Simon answered by leaning his cheek onto Ryland’s palm. His eyes were closed, just enjoying the warmth radiating from his hand. It was warm. So, so warm. He felt as Ryland’s thumb gently wiped his tears away.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I just… I needed to make sure you knew how much I appreciate you, and I know Rocky and Adrian feel the same way, ok?” Simon nodded slightly. He looked more relaxed. Exhausted, but a visible weight lifted off his shoulders.
A soft whine left his lips as he felt Ryland pull his hand away. But when he opened his eyes, Ryland was offering a new invitation, his arms spread out. Simon didn’t think twice before wrapping his arm around Ryland’s waist. He melted when he felt two arms pulling him so close he could hear Ryland’s heartbeat. It was soothing.
They don’t know how long they stayed like this, but it didn’t matter. Unfortunately for Ryland, his legs were starting to cramp and really needed to get off the floor. With a sigh, he leaned back slightly, enough to look at Simon. He gave him a warm smile, moving the long hair out of his face. And if Ryland’s heart didn’t skip a beat seeing those beautiful multicolored eyes look up at him with such adoration.
“Hey, let’s go back to bed, ya? And if you have another nightmare, I’ll be right there to keep you safe.”
Simon blinked away tears, a smile poking at the corners of his mouth.
“Promise?” Simon whispered.
“Promise.” Ryland whispered back.