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Part 1 of Crack Fic O' Doom
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Published:
2013-07-25
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2,855
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1/1
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What We Don't Know We Want

Summary:

“I have to go, Abby,” Tony says with more calm than he feels, “If I don’t show up for work tomorrow send help.”

“Have fun, Tony!” Abby chirps.

The line goes dead and Tony spares his phone a brief glare. He’s going to have to talk to Abby about her complete and total lack of concern for his well-being.

Notes:

Unbeta-ed. This is what I have titled my Crack Fic of Doom series. Possible OOC. Possible brain melting ahead. Please, please forgive me.

Work Text:

There are hot hands all over his body, touching him everywhere; pinching his nipples, tugging on his dick and balls, spanking his ass, pulling his hair and - best of all - slick fingers stretching him wide open.

Tony’s impossibly hard, leaking precum as those fingers work him until he’s loose, begging for more and Gibbs slides in with one quick, hard push. It’s a delicious burn that makes Tony whimper with pleasure, lowering his head and raising his ass submissively.

“Please,” he begs.

It’s like Gibbs reads his mind. He sets up a fast, brutal pace, slamming into Tony forcefully. Tony chews on his lower lip, eyes clenched shut as he gasps and groans, fisting the sheets. It’s too good and suddenly there’s a strong hand in his hair, pulling his head back. A hard dick presses at his lips and he curls them over his teeth as that dick slides into his mouth. Tim chuckles, holding Tony’s head firmly in place as he begins to fuck Tony’s throat.

He’s completely pliant as he’s fucked from both ends; Tim’s gentleness a sharp counterpoint to Gibbs’ fierceness. Tim cums first, shooting down Tony’s throat with a shout and Tony sucks him dry, refusing to let him go until he’s completely soft again. Gibbs cums next, a strange warmth deep inside of Tony that makes him gasp.

Just as Gibbs is about to reach around to finish Tony off Tony’s phone rings and he wakes with a start, limbs flailing. He fumbles his hand over to his nightstand, glaring down at the wet spot on the front of his boxers where his still hard dick is leaking.

“DiNozzo,” he snaps gruffly.

“Hey, Tony…did I wake you?”

“It’s fine, Abby. What’s up?”

“Just um…calling to check up on you.”

Tony frowns but doesn’t question it, Abby always seems to know when something’s off and he needs to talk about it. He’s gotten enough three am phone calls from her by now to just be thankful for her intuition. Her hesitance is a little suspicious but Tony lets it slide.

“You know that gay porn we had to watch from the amateur porn ring?”

“How could I ever forget?” she chuckles.

“I think it warped my mind.”

“…that might be a good thing.”

Warning bells go off in Tony’s head and he hesitates before asking, “Why?”

“Because Gibbs is headed your way. It might have warped his mind a little too.”

Tony blanches, eyes wide.

What?”

“Well, he had some…interesting dreams that he’d like to talk to you about.”

“Did those dreams involve violating me anally?” Tony squeaks.

“Yes. Sorry,” says Abby gleefully.

“Oh, God.”

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Where um…where’s McGee?”

“Tim? He’s asleep on my couch.”

Tony can’t help but grin wickedly, even as the fear of Gibbs’ imminent arrival makes him squirm.

Is he?”

“Yes. I just finished showing him the pleasures of anal sex.”

“You let him…”

“He let me,” he can hear her grin, “I have lots of toys!”

“Wow, uh…”

“Don’t worry, Tony, you’ll like it. I gave Gibbs lots of instructions and supplies.”

“Supplies?” Tony warbles, clearing his throat, “Um…what kind of supplies?”

“Condoms, lots and lots of lube, a couple of toys…I can’t promise you he’ll use the toys, you know he’s kind of uptight about stuff like that.”

“Abby, what kind of toys?”

“A few anal plugs, a couple of vibrators, a couple of dildos, a few cock rings…”

“God, Abby! How many did he need?”

“Well, they were all in different sizes,” Abby explains patiently, “You know, to help stretch you out. Not that Gibbs is a monster but he’s got a pretty nice dick, Tony. He’s going to make you feel really good.”

Tony covers his eyes and fights the urge to cry, not even bothering to ask how Abby knows what Gibbs’ dick looks like. His dick is still standing at attention; it’s escaped the confines of his boxers through the front opening and is still demanding attention but all Tony can think is ‘Gibbs is going to anally violate me and I may actually want it’.

Moments later he flails as something bounces on the end of the bed. It’s a bag and in the doorway is Gibbs, staring at Tony’s erection with a look that Tony can only describe as hunger.

“I have to go, Abby,” Tony says with more calm than he feels, “If I don’t show up for work tomorrow send help.”

“Have fun, Tony!” Abby chirps.

The line goes dead and Tony spares his phone a brief glare. He’s going to have to talk to Abby about her complete and total lack of concern for his well-being.

For a while Gibbs just stands there in the doorway, like he’s transfixed and Tony wonders if his dick has acquired hypnotic powers – or maybe it’s always had them and he’s only just now noticing and…hey, that would be a pretty useful talent. Though flashing his dick at perps might get him in trouble.

Then Gibbs licks his lips and takes a stumbling step forward, then another, until he’s on his knees on the bed, taking Tony’s dick into his mouth.

This hadn’t been part of the fantasy but Tony’s thinking it definitely should have been. It’s like Tony is the most delicious lollipop Gibbs has ever tasted and he’s never going to get enough of it. Tony watches in shock as Gibbs sucks him, head bobbing on his length.

“Oh, God,” Tony croaks.

Gibbs pulls off with a slurp, licking his red, swollen lips. Tony swallows hard and Gibbs is suddenly rearing back, ripping off his jacket and pulling his shirt over his head. He pauses when he sees Tony just lying there and shakes his head a little with a small shrug.

“Well? Strip!”

Really, Tony doesn’t need to be told twice. He lifts his hips and shucks off his boxers and t-shirt, watching Gibbs struggle with his boots and pants.

Once they’re both naked Gibbs surges forward, kissing Tony breathless, hands touching every available inch of Tony’s skin.

Gibbs pulls back and squeezes Tony’s thighs, uncertainty written all over his face as he looks up into Tony’s eyes.

“Can I…?”

Tony nods, dumbstruck and Gibbs smiles brilliantly (he’s beautiful and it makes Tony’s heart skip a beat).

For a moment all he does is touch some more, bending down to suck the head of Tony’s dick into his mouth again.

When Gibbs pulls away Tony feels his absence keenly but forces himself to stay quiet and still.

Gibbs reaches into the bag, tossing things up onto the mattress as he looks for what he wants. Tony’s eyes go wide at the assortment of condoms, lube and toys. It’s like his bedroom has suddenly been turned into an impromptu porn set which makes him want to laugh hysterically - emphasis on the hysteria.

The crinkle of plastic makes Tony lean over for a better look and he sees Gibbs tear open a package, pulling out a pair of black gloves. He slips one on and Tony frowns.

“What’s with the gloves?”

“You want an enema?” Gibbs shoots back gruffly.

What?” Tony exclaims at the seeming non sequitur.

Gibbs gestures at Tony’s groin area, “If I don’t want shit on my hand you either have to go in the bathroom and give yourself an enema or I have to wear a glove and I don’t want shit on my hand. Do you want an enema?”

“Um…not right now, thanks.”

Gibbs snorts, “Good…”

They both go quiet, the long stretch of conversation breaking the spell of frenzied lust.

“…we uh…this is…” Tony glances away, “this is kind of insane. What are we doing?”

For a second Gibbs seems to lose his resolve as well and then almost visibly shakes it off.

“Trusting our guts.”

“More like trusting our lust,” Tony snaps back.

“You want this?”

Tony looks at Gibbs - his hand in the black glove, his impressive erection – and nods.

“Me too,” Gibbs growls, grabbing a bottle of lube and crawling up to loom over Tony like a predator.

“And tomorrow?”

“Deal with tomorrow when it gets here,” Gibbs grins ferally, “Now grab your legs and present.”

Tony hesitantly curls in on himself, lifting his legs and holding them behind the knee. Gibbs seems momentarily overwhelmed with his need as he stares.

“You…” he licks his lips, “you know you’re hot. But…goddamn, Tony, you’re hot.”

That earns him an amused chuckle.

“Thanks, Gibbs but could you get to it? This isn’t an easy position to hold.”

Gibbs’ eyes snap up and he looks faintly sheepish. He snaps open the lube and coats his fingers generously, pressing one to Tony’s hole and then looking up at Tony’s face to gauge his reaction.

“You ready?”

“Uh…no, not really but…I had the best wet dream of my life earlier where you fucked me mercilessly and I almost came without you even once touching my dick. So go for it.”

“Christ,” Gibbs mutters, staring at Tony as he struggles to regain control.

He works the first two fingers in slowly and Tony’s face screws up with discomfort.

“Ok, that’s weird.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…it’s a little bit too much like being at the doctor,” Tony chuckles, face still scrunched up, “Please don’t grab my balls and ask me to turn my head and cough.”

Gibbs smirks and leans down, taking Tony’s balls into his mouth and humming.

Tony sucks in a sharp breath, mouth going slack as he blinks at the ceiling.

“There’s absolutely no way you’ve never done that before,” he says with certainty.

Gibbs pulls off wetly, “I had the best mouth in the Marine Corps.”

“Are you serious?” Tony demands.

“As long as you both got off it wasn’t gay,” Gibbs smirks.

“Are you serious?”

Gibbs snorts, “I ever lie to you?”

“No but…actually, you have but…really?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’ve never…”

“Outside of the Marines?” Gibbs tilts his head, scissoring his fingers, “Been in plenty of bathrooms in seedy bars.”

“But you’ve never had anal sex with anyone?”

“Couldn’t risk it…AIDS was a big thing when I was younger;” Gibbs glances away, “that scared me off it a bit.”

“I’ve never done anything with a guy,” Tony admits, breath coming faster as Gibbs works him open.

“Never?” Gibbs asks incredulously, fingers going still.

“Never,” Tony confirms, “and if you stop I’ll kill you.”

Gibbs adds more lube and works in a third finger, giving Tony a few minutes to adjust.

“So you’re a delicate virgin?” Gibbs teases, nipping at Tony’s thigh.

“Sure,” Tony breathes, eyes darting over the shadows on the ceiling as he grows accustomed to the stretch and burn.

“And you’re gonna let me deflower you?”

“Unless you’re the appetizer and you’ve got somebody else whose dick I’d like in my ass waiting in the living room, then yes,” Tony snaps, “I’m…this is awkward and new, so quit fucking with me.”

That wipes the smirk off of Gibbs’ face and he pulls his fingers out and leans up over Tony, taking off the glove and tossing it to the side.

“I’m not trying to fuck with you, Tony, I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” Tony grinds out, pulling him down for a kiss, “But I kind of just realized your fingers were in my ass and your dick is about to be and…it’s a little scary.”

“We don’t have to…”

“I want to…just…I’m a delicate virgin, alright? Handle with care.”

Gibbs huffs out a laugh and kisses Tony.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time,” he growls in Tony’s ear.

“How long?” Tony glares faintly, smile lurking around the corners of his mouth.

Gibbs reaches down and gives Tony’s dick a slow pull.

“Really, really long.”

“Then you probably shouldn’t wait any longer,” Tony gasps.

With a smirk, Gibbs reaches for a condom, rolling it down over his dick and slicking up. He slides into Tony with relative ease and Tony’s breath starts coming in sharp, fast exhalations.

“Oh, God,” Tony licks his lips, voice an octave too high.

“You ok?” Gibbs asks, going still.

Tony grabs him by the hair and yanks his head down.

“Ok, I’m not that fucking delicate,” he snarls.

Gibbs only groans and Tony frowns, tugging at Gibbs’ hair experimentally, eyes taking on a wicked glint when Gibbs lets out another groan.

“You like that?” Tony grins, pulling Gibbs’ hair again.

Gibbs thrusts and groans out a “yes”.

Tony pulls him closer, using his best bedroom voice, “So if our positions were reversed and I pulled on your hair like this…”

He gives another hard tug and Gibbs gives an involuntary thrust, eyes screwed tightly shut as he groans loud.

“Yeah…” Tony smirks, “Just like that. That’s why you keep your hair so short I bet. If some perp started fighting dirty…you two rolling around on the ground and then…”

Tony tugs again and Gibbs starts thrusting steadily, eyes slitting open to look at Tony with unbridled lust.

“You’d probably have an orgasm right on the spot, wouldn’t you? At the very least I bet you’d be walking around sporting a pretty impressive hard on.”

His voice becomes unsteady as Gibbs’ thrusts speed up.

“You’re kind of a slut, Gibbs.”

That makes Gibbs bite his lower lip and Tony laughs breathlessly.

“Slut,” he says again, “Such a fucking slut. How many cocks have you sucked? Twenty? Thirty? Fifty? More? I can tell you love it. Maybe I’ll fuck your throat some time, pull your hair…you’d love that, wouldn’t you? You’re drooling for it already and you already had more than a taste. Wait ‘til I fuck you, Gibbs. I’m going to take you from behind and pull your hair and give you everything you want.”

“Christ,” Gibbs says roughly, unable to tear his eyes away from Tony’s hot gaze as his thrusts speed up again.

“I…” Tony swallows, “I’m going to spank you first until your ass is on fire and you’re going to beg me…beg me for it…because you’re such a delicious…fucking…slut.”

Gibbs is slamming into him and it’s better than any stupid dream or fantasy; Tony arches his back and Gibbs is suddenly nailing his prostate, fisting Tony’s dick and Tony cums so hard it hits his chest. There’s a strange sensation of warmth and Gibbs stiffens, nearly bending himself in half as he moans his pleasure against Tony’s skin.

He licks the cum off Tony’s chest like he’s hungry, like he hasn’t eaten for days and then he sucks at Tony’s neck, pulling his dick out slowly.

Tony bites at his own lips, still awash with pleasure as Gibbs licks, bites and sucks at his neck.

“Mm…Gibbs,” he gasps, voice just shy of whining.

Instead of stopping Gibbs just surges up and kisses him, the faint lingering taste of Tony’s cum and skin on his tongue. It’s dirty and messy and Tony never realized Gibbs’ mouth was so…hot.

“I…have developed a taste for receiving anal sex,” Tony observes almost casually.

“Good,” Gibbs growls, kissing him again.

He’s rubbing at Tony’s chest, pinching and pulling at his nipples, making Tony arch.

“And those have never been that sensitive before.”

“Anybody ever played with ‘em after you got off?”

“…no.”

Gibbs grins and quirks his head to the side, “Well, there ya go.”

“I’ve unleashed a monster,” Tony realizes with mild trepidation.

That makes Gibbs pause and the uncertainty is back. It’s such an odd emotion to see on Gibbs that Tony wonders if it’s one of those things where Gibbs seems to be feeling one way but is actually feeling another (like when he looks like he wants to snap your neck but he’s actually terrified because you almost died…again). But that wouldn’t make sense because this emotion is too…vulnerable.

Which means that Tony has to reach out and kiss that look away because it shouldn’t be there; it doesn’t belong on Gibbs’ face.

“We should do that again,” Tony says confidently, “Often. Frequently.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tony grins.

--

Tony glances over and shifts, “You doing anything tonight?”

Gibbs sizes him up and shakes his head.

With a grin Tony reaches over and flips the emergency stop. He grabs Gibbs by the hair and crowds him against the wall.

“You remember what I promised to do to you, slut?” he growls sharply in Gibbs’ ear.

There’s that delicious groan, the noise Tony’s been fantasizing about all day.

“Want me to show you how good it feels to get fucked?”

“Hell yeah,” Gibbs smirks.

Tony tugs Gibbs’ hair again, forcing him to expose his throat and then licks up the line of his jugular.

“I’ll see you at your house.”

He punches the emergency stop again and Gibbs reaches down to adjust himself, drawing in a deep breath.

“Don’t do that again,” Gibbs grumbles, “Not here.”

“Sorry, Boss.”

Gibbs eyes Tony with hunger, “…can’t walk around here with a hard-on.”

“Yeah,” Tony grins, “that would be really unprofessional.”

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