Chapter Text
They called him a monster and locked him in chains. He didn't understand... how could he human and yet turn into the thing he despised the most. He didn't hate them for calling him a monster. He knew it was true.
They'd locked him down in the dungeon, away from prying eyes, a way to keep the public safe but what about his safety... that's right he was a monster... he had no rights.
Night after night they'd come for him. His eyes covered and his mouth gagged, he'd feel their fingers across his skin, he couldn't cry out, he couldn't move, he couldn't tell anyone. He was a monster and this was what he'd deserved. Night after night they'd take him, not caring when he tore and bled, not caring how it broke him inside, instead they only cared for the thrill of taming a monster.
He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. The slightest move made his heart pound. They'd warned him to keep his mouth shut if he wanted his friends to live. They needn't have bothered, he knew his place.
And finally the day of the trial had came, he'd put on his mask, a mask to how broken he'd become. Not that could see, his titan abilities had repaired all wounds. If he spoke out there'd be no proof. They'd always cleaned up the physical evidence.
Finally he was to be transferred from his cold prison, he'd been under the care of the man he'd admired so long. Surely humanities strongest wouldn't be the same as those faceless guards.
He knew he'd be killed the second he stepped out of line but he didn't care. They couldn't touch him here.
*
Eren loved the corps, the pain that training gave couldn't be matched. He loved the fact his life now had a purpose even if it was for tests, he was a monster, a monster with a use outside of being a young body to a desperate guard. As long as no one touched him he was fine.
He'd tried and tried to transform, each time he didn't he knew he was a step closer to death. He pushed past the pain and the nausea, he hadn't told them he'd been ill since the cells. He didn't want to be a burden. But everyday was getting worse, his fatigue only increased. Finally he ended up collapsing mid-experiment.
He'd awoken to his body burning, he knew the feel of fever all too well. The last had been in the dungeon. That hadn't stopped the men at all.
Even if it had been a month since he'd felt nauseous since he'd been let free. His body felt so very dirty and his heart and mind shattered. At night he'd force himself to stay awake so they wouldn't know he'd scream in his sleep. In the night, in his dreams it all played on a loop.
Every touch.
Every breath.
Every blow.
Every moan.
Every thrust.
Everything over and over. He scolded himself for his own weakness. He was a monster, it was their right as humans to take what they wanted.
He'd panicked when he'd realised what happened. He panicked that he'd talked in his sleep. He lay there listening to Hanji and Levi. The conversation confused him. Talks of omegas and heats, it had nothing to do with him, he hadn't presented which could only make him a beta. He listened trying to figure out who they were talking about. His breath caught as the voices came closer and he flinched as he felt himself being shaken awake.
He tried to push away but the hands gripped closer
"Open your eyes brat!"
He knew that voice. Corporal Levi... he pushed his eyes open realising he was face to face with his superior. The closeness made his stomach roll and turned away just as he started to vomit.
Levi pulled back in disgust, and Eren whimpered at the knowledge he'd mad the man mad. He just couldn't control his fear.
When he'd finally finished he flipped back against the pillows completely spent. He knew he'd have to move, after all he'd messed up the bedding as well as himself. He flinched as Hanji came into view, it wasn't that he hated her, in fact despite her craziness he was almost fond enough to call her a friend. She stopped just short of actually touching him and instead asked if he needed help to shower.
Shaking his head he slid from the bed, shivering when his feet touched the coolness of the stone floor.
He knew there were private showers for the infirmary and tried to keep himself stable as he half stumbled towards them. He didn't get far before his knees gave out and he fell heavily onto his knees. He moaned from the pain.
He felt a hand take him under the armpit and drag him up, his body tensed and he tried to squirm away.
"Tch! Shitty brat... we don't have time for this shit"
He bit his lip and let Levi drag him to the showers. Standing there he watched Levi turn on the shower before turning back to him, he felt himself blush. He didn't want the corporal to see him like this and they stood there glaring at each other, neither willing to back down. Releasing he was beaten he slowly stripped away the dirty gown and moved into the water. Levi moved back but didn't take his eyes off him as he scrubbed his skin raw.
No matter how hard he scrubbed he always felt so disgusting and dirty like he was contaminating everything and everyone around him. Once again his knees gave out and he curled in around himself. He cursed the fevers grip and he cursed his own weakness.
He would have stayed like that had Levi not turned the water off and thrown his towel at him. He was a monster he had no right to fall apart like this. Toweling off he wrapped the thin cotton around his waist. It wasn't like he had anything to change into.
"Now that you're awake and moving you'll be going back to the dungeon. A fevers hardly anything to worry about"
He fell behind Levi, completely embarrassed as he was forced to walk down to the cold damp room still in a towel.
Levi only stayed long enough to lock him in for the night.
"Someone will bring your clothes down soon"
And with that he was left.
*
Eren was terrified. Alone and locked in again awaiting a stranger. He knew how this worked. When he heard the telltale jingle of keys he flinched away. He was already curled up on his bed against the wall but no matter how he wanted he couldn't sink into the cold rock.
"Eren... it's Hanji!
He heard the squeak as the metal door opened and the sound of her footfalls grow nearer. He tried to calm himself, telling himself over and over she was a friend, she'd never harm him. It didn't work.
Hanji ignored his discomfort and sat down on the edge of his bed.
"The corporal isn't a bad man you know, he'd just under a lot pressure. It's no good getting so worked up around him"
Eren bit down on his tongue to prevent himself correcting her. He didn't fear Levi, he respected the man and understood his position, after all baby sitting a monster could hardly be called fun.
"Eren did you know you're an omega? Levi had me do blood tests to find out why you passed out... you probably don't even realise it yourself yet but you're also pregnant... don't worry if they knew I'm sure they'd make me abort it for you but how am I supposed to experiment and observe your development if I do that... your secrets safe with me! Here's your clothes and they'll be bringing down your dinner soon, oh Eren I can't wait! Imagine a little baby titan!"
Humming happily she didn't wait for Eren to reply, instead she practically skipped from the cell.
Eren waited until he heard Hanji's steps fade before he allowed himself to fall apart. An omega? An omega titan. What a joke. All he wanted was to destroy titans, instead he was locked down here and pregnant with a strangers child. His sobbing neared hysterics and he tried to calm himself reminding himself it would cause more issues if someone saw him.
The guard who delivered his food left it out the front of his cell before leaving. Eren tried to push down the nausea, the smell had caused.
Crawling over he eyed the meal, some kind of stew and bread. He took the bread and the knife from the tray before retreating back into his bed. He hadn't even bothered to redressed, it wouldn't matter soon anyway. He choked down the stale bread while holding the knife in the palm of his other hand. Even if he headed he was sure that enough damage would still cause a miscarriage.
Even if Hanji wanted this he didn't. He wouldn't bring a child into this world and have the same thing done to it. He wouldn't raise the child of two monsters.
Weighing the small knife in his hand he stared down at his stomach, trying to judge where the blow should fall. He tried to remember the times he'd gone with his father to help patients.
He pulled over his uniform shirt and stuffed it in his mouth. No one would hear him now. His fingers shook and he tried to steady his nerves. Closing his eyes he stabbed down, over and over. The pain was incredible. He'd never felt anything like it, but still he kept going. Grey fog clouded the edges of his visions and he slipped his fingers in to prevent the wounds closing, he was close to passing out but still, he forced himself to remain conscious as he pushed the knife inside. The wound began to steam and Eren's eyes rolled back. He body slumped sideways and he fell from the bed.
*
It was Levi who found him like that. Covered in his own blood and the knife hanging out of his stomach. All wound from his attempt gone, only blood remained. Planting his foot against Eren's naked chest he pulled the knife from the wound, watching as the brats body steamed and sealed the spot scar free.
He didn't understand the kid at all. Just what had the shitty brat being doing to himself to cause so much blood loss. Surely a normal human would be dead by now. Disgusted he turned around and stalked off to find Hanji. The brat may be his charge but she was the one with medical knowledge.
*
Hanji had been visibly distressed about Eren's actions, she kept muttering to herself as she followed Levi down. As an omega shouldn't he be attached to his child? Who was the kids alpha? When they finally reached the teen she pushed Levi aside to check on the boys condition. Levi had been right, if the kid was normal he'd most certainly be dead by now. She ordered Levi to lift the kid up onto his bed and smiled at Levi's disgusted protests. Rolling the boy over she noted the blood and matter that slicked the boy's thighs. He'd obviously forced a miscarriage. It saddened her to think she wouldn't be able to examine the baby but she was more concerned with the kid. It all came back to why wouldn't he want his baby.
There was something going on and she wouldn't be happy until she found the truth.
*
When Eren awoke he realised he was still alive. Tears began to stream down his face. A fabric curtain surrounded three sides of the bed but he could still tell he was in the infirmary. He went to sit up only to find he'd been cuffed down to the bed. Shit. He'd really messed up.
Hanji must have heard the rattle of the cuffs and was soon by his side. She didn't realise his hand, instead she sat down next to him frowning. He hated knowing she was mad at him.
"Eren! It's good to see you finally awake! Not that I was worried about you waking up again, your regent powers are amazing! Any normal human would have been dead from that! But you've got to tell me why did you do it? Who's your alpha? Won't they be mad?"
His body shook as he started to sob. What was he supposed to say.
"The corporal was furious! Can you believe it!? He went off muttering something about how all alphas were going to be training extra until you spoke up!"
That was the final straw and he snapped entirely, his sobs turned to screams and his began to thrash, trying to pull himself free from the cuffs.
"Eren, you need to calm down!"
Hanji pushed down hard on his chest, trying to get him to focus. Finally it took a slap to face to stop him.
"Eren I can't help you if you don't talk to me!"
Eren's eyes were wide as he nodded.
"Eren who was the alpha?"
Eren shook his head
"You don't know?"
Again he shook his head
"When's the last time you had sex?"
Eren bit his lip
"Was it before you came here?"
This time he nodded
"Before they took you into custody?"
He shook his head and Hanji frowned. She realised the implications of what Eren was saying... well not saying.
"Eren was it consensual?"
Eren shook his head and turned away from her.
"Oh Eren!" She half laid across his chest and wrapped her arms around him.
"... please... don't touch me..."
Eren's words fell in between sobs and Hanji soon released him.
"Did you know you were an omega?"
"... no..."
"Oh Eren! I'm going to have to tell Levi too. They can't go unpunished!" She pushed off from the bed as Eren started to panic even more.
"Please Hanji... please don't tell him!"
Hanji crossed her arms, stopping in her tracks.
"Hanji please... there's no evidence anything happened and no one will believe the word of a monster... please..."
"Eren what do expect me to tell? We both know your aborted your child. He doesn't... he's going to want a reason..."
"Then tell him I tried to kill myself, tell him it was because I haven't been able to shift and didn't want to be a burden. He should understand... I am a monster after all"
Hanji frowned
"You need to stop calling yourself that. You are for the most part human after all... if you promise I can do more experiments I'll keep your secret just this once. But if you become a liability I'm telling him"
Eren offered a small smile which Hanji returned before moving back to his side
"Would I also be right to guess you haven't been sleeping either... is it nightmares?"
Eren bit his lip and nodded, he couldn't lie to her and expect her to keep his secret
"Ok, I'll give you something so you'll be able to sleep and I want to start you on suppressants and contraceptives. You probably didn't respond to any of our alphas given you were pregnant so we can't have you going into heat. I'll be back later so try to rest a bit until then ok?"
Thanking her he watched as she walked away.
*
True to her word she came back that night. He eyes the 2 boxes in her hands suspiciously. The first one contained small white pills for sleeping, the second contained needles and vials- he'd need to give himself daily injections.
Even though he knew how to give an injection he still sat and watched as she gave him his first dose. It felt like the fire in his blood had been extinguished with ice.
"You need to do this every morning without fail, if your going on missions I'll pack extra for you. Now this is an experiment for me as well, I don't know if your titan abilities will hamper its effectiveness and if it does I'll have to tell Levi. We can't send an omega on a mission, it's too dangerous"
Eren nodded and thanked her, she helped him dress before escorting him back down to the dungeon.
*
Every morning without fail he'd inject himself before waiting to be taken to Hanji.
She wanted him to shift over and over and see how long he could retain his mind before he'd have to be severed from his titan form. It was beyond exhausting and he felt the progress he was making was happening far too slowly. He hated his pace and curse himself over the exhaustion he felt from each shift. He needed to get stronger, strong enough to protect everyone.
Even if he was an omega he wouldn't give into his second nature, he didn't need an alpha to take care of him, he'd become stronger than any alpha!