Chapter Text
Dina
He wanted me even less than I wanted him, that much was clear from as soon as we met. Oh of course he was courteous; saying all the things a man should say in such a meeting, and gracing me with all the things gestures a man should make. Executed gruffly, but nonetheless.
His brother and my father set this up, consulting us little to none. My father merely told me I was meeting lord Dwalin, and I doubt his brother asked for his approval of this match. And so it came to be that we sat in the lavishly decorated room that was usually reserved for important meetings of the king, but neither of us could enjoy it. We were mere puppets, waiting for what the puppetmasters were going to do.
Servants brought in dish after dish, but I found myself unable to eat much; after a few grapes I felt like I had eaten a whole hog. My soon-to-be intended had no such problem, he ate like a man having his last meal before going to the gallows. Perhaps that was how he felt, like he was being sent to the executioner.
When the desserts were finally cleared off the table, my father sent me away, and I knew they were going to negotiate my marriage. I couldn’t help but feel this was terribly unfair, them deciding about my life. Perhaps it was all the time I spent above ground, getting used to the ways of Men, but the thought of having to obey a husband irked terribly.
But what could I do? I could only hope I would give him a son and he would leave me alone after that. Perhaps his position would grant me some freedom to employ some of my own interests and skills, maybe even secure a place in the queen’s council, if there was going to be one in my lifetime.
X-O-X-O
Father seemed happy when he returned from the meeting, and as I had not been able to go to sleep and hear the outcome in the morning, he came to sit next to me.
“Balin was generous, Dina, and we have come to an agreement.”
I could only nod. Perhaps, somewhere deep inside of me, I had hoped they would not have been able to come to terms, and the whole thing would be cancelled. But no such luck. And as I was realistic enough to know that the chance of Dwalin being my One were next to nothing, I resigned to a loveless life.
“Will you sign it?”My father’s redundant question pulled me back from my useless dreams of love, and inwardly I scoffed. As if I had any choice! This afternoon he had told me that this marriage was to happen, wether I desired it or not, and now he asked me if I would sign?! But I knew my place, so I nodded, and he seemed satisfied by that, judging by the big grin on his face.
“Than we shall proceed with that tomorrow.”
Again I nodded, but my hesitance was either unseen or ignored, as he continued: “You will not receive seven courtinggifts, that is reserved for queens and princesses, but I expect he will bestow a token upon you tomorrow. I hope you will show him your gratitude.”
I contemplated just nodding again, but I needed more information. “I shall father. Is a date for the wedding already set?”
He roared with laughter. “That anxious, are you? Well, I don’t blame you, lord Dwalin will be a fine husband. You can have it within the month, or wait a little longer with the risk of being overshadowed by a royal wedding.”
That was interesting. I wondered whom it was king Thorin was going to wed. Probably not his consort; she was too dim to notice his interests in her lay only in one area. But for as far as I knew, he had never been seen with another woman.
“A month it shall be then.” I told him curtly before retiring to go to bed. His blatant social climbing was embarassing, but it was yet another thing I would just have to ignore if I was ever to hold my head up high.
X-O-X-O
He bowed and kissed my hands, but he did not say much else. His brother Balin did most of the talking, droning on and on about conditions and terms and such. I just nodded every once in a while, and that seemed to suffice. I only started to focus again when my father handed me a feather to sign the documents, and without reading I did so.
“Well, let us give the betrothed a chance to get to know eachother” My father said as he got up and held the door open for lord Balin.
Once they had left, I feared there would be a long, awkard silence. But Dwalin produced a small, carved wooden box and put it on the table in front of me.
“Just something small to show my affection for you.” He grumbled, seeming to be evenly confounded as what to do in this situation.
Carefully I opened the box, and in it lay a ring with a very large diamond. Upon further inspection, the mythril band was painstakingly engraved with the angular pattern that formed the sygil of his family. I was both surprised and unsurprised to find out he at least had a hand in the making of the ring. He did not seem like the man that would do something for a woman he did not much care for, but het he also did not seem like the man who would do anything halfhearted.
“Thank you, lord Dwalin.” I said, and I genuinely meant it. It was nice of him to make such an effort for me, many men in arranged marriages would not, and perhaps it gave some hope for the future. Hope not for love, but for companionship, fondness.
“As we are to marry in a month, I suggest you just call me Dwalin, everyone else does so.”
“Dina.” I replied with a bow of my head.
I couldn’t help but be pleasantly surprised with him. It hadn’t been so much his words, but his small gestures en the way I somehow felt at ease with him. And so I couldn’t help but ask; I just had to know. Silly me……
X-O-X-O
Dwalin
She seemed hesitant, I saw that from the first time I laid eyes on her. Had she been older, I would have called it weary, but in her age it was more likely resignation. I liked the situation no more than she did, but at least for me it was some sort of an escape. I highly doubted it was so for her.
Yet she remained curteous, too courteous and kind for me. I did not know what to do, nor what to say, but I was also saved from that, as dinner was brought. Either Balin or Thorin must have really wanted to seal this deal, as no costs were spared. I wondered if Thorin knew something of my feelings.
When the dinner ended, even I felt sated and in a good mood for negotiations. But if I was honest, negatiations were always more easy with someone else’s money. I had told my brother when he initiatly proposed this match, that I would marry if he thought it best but that I would not pay a single coin for her, nor would I be the one to arrange her gifts. There was only one I had once given a gift to; there would not be another.
X-O-X-O
The bride price that was agreed upon was a little above reasonable, after all, her father had no titles, yet. But Balin and her father seemed pleased, so I did not argue and signed the contracts without further ado. So did she, to my surprise. Somehow I had gotten the impression there was more fire in her, more life, more will. But it seemed there wasn’t. Either that, or her father had somehow forced her into this. I could not find it in myself to care; why should she deserve a faith better than another?
When Balin had handed me the box prior to this meeting, I had not looked at its contents, merely accepting it. I saw the hope in his eyes, and I knew it was not merely the hope for expanding our family line, but also a hope for me. For me to find some sort of hapiness, or at least consolation. But how could he know? How could he, a man that had never known the true, pure love of a woman, what this felt like? He could not and he did not. He did not feel how yet another part of my heart was burned away, this time by my innocent betrothed whom liked her position as little as I did. Another victim to the marriage drift that roared through the noble lines here in Erebor.
When she opened the box, I saw the work Balin had put into this. Our mother’s diamond, set on a new ring made of mythril, with the pattern of our line engraved into it. The fucking pattern of our line, what a joke! Yet it was in those small, geometrical lines that I saw his heart, and it nearly broke mine.
I needed to make a gesture of my own, but the only thing I could give her was my name and my permission for her to use it. She returned the priviledge, whipering her name to me. Dina. Dwalin and Dina. Perhaps it would work. Maybe.
But then those dreaded words left her mouth. “Am I taking someone’s place?” she asked in a soft tone with a slightly tilted head, a blush creeping up to her cheeks. “I mean—have you found—“
I scraped my throat to give me more time to find an answer. I needed to put a stop to this right away if I were to avoid spilling my secret at some point. It was to remain between Balin, me and her, not even Thorin knew.
“You will see that I will grant you many liberties, Dina. You may have seperate chambers should you choose to, you may plan your days as you like. You may ask anything you like of me. Except this. This is a subject that will never be discussed between us again.”
I tried to sound as gentle as possible, but I still saw her cringe under my words. I took a deep breath of air, trying to cleanse myself from this whole situation. “I will see you at the wedding.”