Work Text:
Get your eyes off her. It’s possessive. Makes his stomach turn, because he’s not supposed to have thoughts like that. He’s not supposed to think this way.
But Roy’s eyes have been following the curve of her body—each roll and shake of her hips, and the bounce of her breasts—for the last several minutes. The grin he wears on his face. The appreciative stare. It’s making him furious. Slowly.
Thundering music, the dancing lights of the club, colors sparkling against the walls. Thundering inside his head. Something inside him is snapping.
“Hey,” Roy nudges him in the shoulder, “I think she likes me.”
“She gets paid to like you,” Jason says.
“Come on,” Roy pouts at him, “Don’t be jealous.”
A look like that.
That look, before Roy turns back to the dancer, captivated once she gives him a small wink. That look reminds Jason of why he hates Roy. Why he hates everything about Roy. Why he wants nothing to do with-
She’s coming closer. A seductive sway, long legs and smooth curves and skin glittering under the lights. Long hair that tumbles in curls and a hand that beckons out, in a small wave when she says, “Hello, handsome. You like what you see?”
The grin on Roy’s face when he looks up, eyes shining like a kid on Christmas morning. “Hello, gorgeous.”
His tone of voice makes Jason remember.
Why he wants nothing to do with Roy.
-
“I do private dances, if you’re interested,” she steals a glance at Jason, “You’re welcome to bring your friend.”
My lucky day, Roy’s thinking. It must be. It’s a pity that Jason’s such a stick in the mud, but-
“Don’t you have someone else to bother.” Damn. He practically growled at her.
“Come on,” Roy’s trying to cut him off. Because Jason was not about to ruin this night. They were in the middle of nowhere, running on very little food and water, and the only reason Roy even came out here was to help him. So the least Jason could do was to not ruin this for him.
“I suggest you find another table.”
Goddammit.
“Hey, wait a second-”
But his new friend is not even paying attention to him anymore. Her eyes are glued to Jason, a cold stare and a slight upturn in her lip. He’s offended her. Of course he did.
Intentionally. Probably.
“Go on,” Jason dismisses her with a wave of his hand.
It’s like a divine command. She doesn’t even hesitate. With that angry look on her face, she frowns at him—even frowning at Roy for good measure—turns, and leaves. Long legs and swaying hips and the tease of feathery underwear keeping her decent. Long hair and slender shoulders and a small waist.
Goddammit.
“Hey,” he’s trying to sound upset, but his voice leaves as an annoyed whine. “That’s not fair.”
Jason doesn’t say a word. He’s staring at him. Why is he staring. Roy’s almost afraid to meet his eyes. Because Jason has that familiar darkness in his face. Like he’s about to either say something heavy, or hit him. Jason’s never hit him before, but Roy’s certain that it’s only a matter of time before he tries. And he will succeed. And it will hurt.
Roy’s sure that Jason can hit pretty hard.
But Roy never knows when to keep his mouth shut. This is no exception. Because he’s still irritated. “You’re a real…”
What is that. What is… What is he doing.
“…spoilsport.” There. On his face. What is he doing. Light and soft and… is he-
Jason’s kissing his face.
He waits for him to stop.
He doesn’t.
He turns towards him. “Hey, what…”
And now Jason’s kissing his mouth.
-
Don’t overreact.
Roy’s too surprised to respond, at first.
Don’t turn away from me.
But Jason knows it’s only a matter of time before he does. So he does what he can, for right now. Does what he can, while he has his attention. During this brief moment in time, when, for right now, Roy is captivated by him.
Roy's eyes are heavy, his breathing ragged and fast. His pulse trembling beneath Jason’s hand on his neck. Jason touches him gently, unnaturally so, because it’ll calm him down. Massages his skin to keep him relaxed, so Roy finally gives—relaxes, just a little—and opens his mouth.
Roy tastes like alcohol. He’s not supposed to be drinking.
Roy’s mouth is hot and the way he kisses is clumsy and aggressive. But his eyes are closing and he’s breathing slower. One of his hands is hesitantly resting itself against Jason’s back, and he wants to push it away, because that is just unusual—I’m not your girlfriend or something—but it’s almost nice, too. It’s kind of nice.
Jason likes the feel of his tongue. It’s aggressive and rough, but it turns him on.
He doesn’t realize how deep the kiss is, until he starts to pull back, and notices how wet Roy’s lips are. Catches sight of the shine on them and licks them one more time, chewing on his bottom lip because he can, and because it makes Roy gasp in his throat. Bites him and kisses him until Roy seals his mouth shut, and Jason pulls back with the familiar sound of a broken kiss.
Roy stares at him, eyes heavy and uncertain, his mouth pursed in a straight line, face flushed. Jason looks back, waiting. Because he knows Roy is going to speak soon. Roy is always going to say something.
“What are you doing,” he finally says.
Jason decides it’s best to tell the truth. “I want you.”
Roy frowns at him. “Why?” Jason can’t tell if he’s confused, frustrated, or both.
But Jason does know one thing about Roy's current state. He’s noticed the slight bulge in his jeans. It’s no accident when his hand brushes against it, before he sits back into his chair.
Again, Jason is honest. “Because I’m turned on.”
That’s not helpful. Jason knows that. He’s irritating him, now.
“If you don’t like it, I can take it out on someone else.”
Jason expects a number of responses to that. The one at the top of his list of what he expects is a grin, a smirk or some variant thereof, a mischievous glitter in his eyes and some variant of “Hell yeah,” or “Sure, man,” or “How soon can we start.” That would depend on how witty or clever Roy is feeling.
But for once in a great while, Roy throws him a curveball.
“What is it with you?” Roy’s frowning again. But he looks angry this time. His voice is deeper. His voice is rough, and it reminds Jason of what Roy actually sounds like when he’s not playing nice. “You and Kory, both-”
“Me and Kory?” What…
“You both said the same thing. You know what,” Roy’s voice transcends another level, sinking into a low snarl, “I’m not some dumb piece of ass.”
Interesting.
“I’m not fucking expendable.” Oh. He hurt his feelings. Roy and his mighty ego.
“Prove it.” Might as well cater to it.
“What,” Roy growls back.
But Jason can’t keep playing this game. Play the game by Roy’s rules, and they’ll be here for several minutes more, arguing back and forth. Time is wasting. And time—every single minute of it—is invaluable.
He has time to fuck. He doesn’t have time to argue about it.
“I’m leaving,” Jason rises to his feet.
-
Christ, what is this guy’s problem.
“So you’re just gonna leave like that, huh,” Roy’s scolding him, as Jason makes his way across the crowded room. Dodging, moving, weaving around bystanders and onlookers whose eyes remained glued to the sparkling stage. Spotlights start to dance. “Real mature-”
Something big’s about to happen up there. But Jason’s still walking away, and Roy is far too irritated to not chase him down.
He hadn't even thought of him in a sexual way. But if that were to happen, well…
Roy believes he’d be okay with it. But the thought just hadn’t crossed his mind before. Jason was always… a friend. One of the few people on this Earth, despite being as mean and cold as he was, that was… a friend.
But to hear him talk like that… The way he was…
That was one thing coming from Kory, because he barely even knew her. But Jason… Jason’s fucking known him for months. And that’s the respect he gets. And for what. Because he has an inconvenient hard-on?
There are many things Roy wants to say. None he does, save for a, “Shit,” that leaves his mouth when he realizes Jason’s already at the elevator up ahead.
“Hey, wait,” he intends to yell it across the remaining few feet, but the place is so damn noisy, and he’s feeling a bit too ashamed of pursuing him at all, so he can’t raise his voice. Chasing after him like this. Like he’s a jilted lover. No…
He was just gonna be another one-night stand.
He shouldn’t mind it. Normally, he doesn’t. Everyone has desire. Everyone has spontaneous whims. God only knows how many he’s got on his record. Girls he promised he’d call back, boys he went a little too far with. Names and faces he can hardly remember.
But Jason is supposed to be his friend. But maybe…
Sometimes he doesn't even know if that much is true.
Roy stops walking. Sees the elevator doors slide open, after Jason presses the button on the wall.
Normally, he doesn’t mind it. Friend or no friend, that’s a bullshit reason anyway. Roy knows better than anyone; he’d casually screwed around with friends more times than he could count. His ongoing fling with Dick was undeniably shallow. There wasn’t ever much of an invitation apart from Dick sneaking him a kiss and some sultry comment, or Roy reaching around and squeezing Dick’s ass. Roy knows better than anyone, they used each other. Dick was his friend. But he was also a beautiful, fucking amazingly talented, make-you-scream-out-loud object.
So what’s the big problem?
Let him go. Because until he can answer that question, Roy hasn’t earned the right to be a jerk, no matter how rude Jason is. But he feels…
Fuck.
What he feels is something very inconvenient.
But…
It’s Jason who stares at him, annoyed as they meet eyes across the room.
One hand reaching in the elevator, pressing whatever it takes to keep the doors open, as Jason’s shouting rudely, “Are you coming, or not?”
Oh.
Oh.
“Up there,” but he doesn’t try to speak it loud enough. Just points upwards as he mouths the words.
Jason noticeably rolls his eyes.
In a way, it feels…
Fuck.
Too many goddamn feelings tonight.
-
“Wow.” Roy’s eyes are wide as he surveys the room. It’s an impressive place, at first glance. Especially in the dark, because it doesn’t show its age. A lavish room, a master suite that once belonged to the owner of this building. High above, luxury above the run-down dive the club was. It was a perfect hideout for a powerful millionaire.
But that was then. Now, it’s just a fancy place gathering dust when Jason’s not crashing here. The current owners know of its existence—enough to keep it clean—but they’re never here.
“How’d you know this was up here?” Roy’s asking as he wanders around, pausing to look closely at the chandelier above them.
“I know a lot about this city.” And that’s all he’ll admit.
Jason can’t see the look on his face, but he’s sure Roy is grinning. “Clearly.”
Jason leaves the lights off. He likes them off. Slides off his coat before Roy even notices. Steps behind Roy, sliding his hands under his vest’s collar; feels Roy nearly jump out of his skin, “Hey!” Roy’s laughing through his embarrassment, “Don’t do that."
Before Roy can say anything, a grin lingering on his face—he looks handsome like this, moonlight casting shadows beneath his eyes and there’s something pleasant about it—Jason has a hand on his chin, turning his face towards him.
When in doubt, kiss him. Roy likes to kiss.
Hands on his chest and Jason’s finally reaching and tugging at the straps on his jacket. Unfastening them in a hurry as he distracts Roy with his mouth. No time for conversation. No time for negotiations.
Let me fuck you.
They can work out the details later.
-
Jason’s body is heavy on top of him and it’s around now that Roy realizes he’s going to be the bottom. Normally he’d try to negotiate that—doesn’t hate to bottom, but he prefers to top—but he’s so turned on that he’s wanting this as badly and urgently as Jason seems to. Seems. There’s no way to know for sure.
Except that Jason’s been touching him—hands touching, stroking, pressing, grabbing and pinning him in place—since he got his clothes off. Jason is heavy. His hands are strong. One hand entwined in his hair, another on his neck and Roy's looking at him with hazy eyes as Jason attacks his mouth.
Kisses that hurt. Kisses that make him want so much more. He knows he’s making strange sounds—gasping and sighing and panting and God knows what else—but it’s difficult to not respond. His body is responding without him. Gasping into another hot, deep kiss when he thinks Jason might suffocate him—even though it’d be an amazing way to die—and shivering from the sensation of contact against his bare skin, Jason’s cock pressing against his as he slowly lowers himself down.
Jason’s so close to him. So close. He can feel the scars on his legs, as they brush against his own. Can see the marks from old injuries scattered across his skin, some that look like bullet holes and others that are just marks of pain, obscure and unknown wounds and scars where parts of his body may have been broken.
It’s frightening. It’s unsettling. Noticing them, thinking about them, and the way it makes him feel.
Roy closes his eyes; relaxes for a moment, to let Jason move him how he wants. Kisses him in silence, Jason's biting against his lips and tasting his tongue as he’s nudging his mouth open some more. Focuses on the sensations, and the rough hand—God, how does even your hand have scars on it, Jason—that’s trailing across his chest, almost affectionately before he breaks the kiss.
When Roy looks up at him, the shadows of the room make him seem ominous. Dark and unknown. Roy can’t see his eyes, except for the shine in them. It makes him nervous.
Doesn’t know if he’s turned on. Or frustrated. Or angry. Or ready to snap at him.
Or only wanting to kiss him some more, for that matter.
Roy closes his eyes again. Because no matter how his eyes adjust, he can’t see everything he wants to. And seeing distracts from what he’s feeling.
Jason’s trailing kisses down his neck, as he feels a sudden contact, abrasive and sudden as a firm hand slides between their bodies and takes hold of his cock. Roy’s moaning for the first time, hips arching up from the bed at the unexpected pleasure of being stroked slowly, so slowly it aches as Jason continues to taste his skin, kisses trailing across his collarbone.
“Come on,” Roy says quietly.
“What,” with almost no sound.
“Don’t tease me.”
Because who needs foreplay, when you’re this close to-
“Alright.”
Roy’s eyes open as he stares up at him, in time to see Jason sitting up. His hands abandon his body. Just for a moment.
Jason leaves the bed. Just for a moment. Roy sits up, uncertain. Because Jason is unpredictable and he can’t trust him. Well. With certain things he can. But this? He’s not sure he can trust Jason to follow through and finish this. He may lose his nerve. He could leave without saying a word, and Jason's the kind of person that would be completely fine with doing that.
Roy would have a harder time recovering from a slight like that-
He’d have a very hard time getting over that.
Jason comes back. Tosses a bottle of lube on the bed. Wastes no time in spreading Roy’s legs open, and sliding a hand beneath his balls, intentionally teasing his back entrance as Roy recoils from the sudden, unexpected contact.
He’s been fucked in there before. Doesn’t mean it’s not startling at first.
Jason smirks at him. “Let’s see what you can do.”
-
Desperate, vulnerable gasps spilling out of Roy. Some that sound like they’re from pain, others from pleasure. Jason doesn’t know which it is. Except that whatever he’s doing is working.
He slipped inside Roy’s body like a glove. Found it remarkably easy to stay there; Roy’s body is fucking him right back. The way he reacts. The way the shivers run through his body. His skin is hot to the touch and he tastes like sweat and smells like sex.
He makes many sounds. For the first time, Jason doesn’t want him to stop making them. But the volume is escalating. At this rate, they’ll attract attention.
And when he’s buried cock-deep in someone else, that’s the last thing he wants to happen.
He pauses for a moment, and reaches back towards the edge of the bed. Manages to snag the corner of his shirt, where it’d been discarded earlier in their shuffle. Drags it back towards him, and twists it into a thin rope. With a brief apology, “Hate to do this,” he lifts it above Roy’s head and gags his mouth.
Roy sends back a startled stare.
“It hurts me too,” Jason smirks. But to keep Roy’s feelings from being hurt, he distracts him by thrusting again. Harder, this time. So hard he makes Roy close his eyes, and whine into the fabric. He’s panting, with muffled sounds that sound like whines. Jason hates that he can’t hear that.
That’s what he gets for not reserving a proper room. Lesson learned.
But now that he can’t hear Roy's voice…
He’s hearing the sounds of their sex, of lubricant and his cock sliding in and out of his body, and the slapping sound of his legs hitting against his ass with each thrust and it’s-
Fuck, why is this turning him on so much.
Roy.
Why is Roy turning him on so much.
Roy’s staring up at him, eyes shining and overwhelmed. It’s at this point that Jason regrets not having the lights on, because he wants to see the exact look on his face. Wants to know the exact expression he’s sending. Wants to see the fabric in his mouth growing wet from his spit, and the sweat building on his chest. But he can feel it—how hot, how wet Roy’s skin is—beneath his hands, when he rests them on Roy’s hips. It makes him want more. He wants so much more than this.
So he kicks up Roy’s legs, forcing him to prop them above his waist. He can move a little deeper, now. A little easier, because he knows Roy’s flexible enough. It brings them closer together. Jason sinks lower on top of him, and he’s staring directly into Roy’s eyes while he fucks him, and for the first time he’s noticing how emotional he looks, pent-up aggression and desperation and what almost seems like grief. It’s distracting, so Jason kisses him on the neck. Tries to get him to stop sending him that look, whatever it is, whatever it means.
But when Roy starts to frown at him, he knows what the problem is.
Damn.
Okay.
Fine.
Jason removes the gag. Tells him promptly, “Try to keep it down.” Roy growls back, “Yeah, sure.” But after a few thrusts of him being completely silent, Jason gives a faint laugh. “You can be louder than that.”
“Thanks for the permission,” Roy pouts. It’s oddly cute, the way his mouth turns up like-
Jason’s kissing him again. For one thing, to keep him silent. For another, because he wants to. It’s a strange feeling.
He thrusts into him again. Feels Roy tremble and sigh into the kiss. Feels a hand on his waist—hesitant, then determined once it rests flat against his skin—and appreciates the contact. He likes the feel of Roy’s touch, when he runs his hands up his back. Likes the sounds Roy continues to make, a small series of pants once their mouths separate. Likes the desperation in his breathing, deep and fast when he starts to thrust faster. Likes the way his body tenses, how the muscles tighten and react to what he’s feeling.
Likes the quiet sound, when Roy whispers, “Oh God.”
Jason puts some distance between them, but it’s necessary. Props himself up, hands sinking into the bed on either side of Roy’s body. Stares down at him. Roy’s watching him with heavy eyes, soft shadows shifting on his face. His lips are parted, the pained sounds still spilling out, and it’s everything Jason wants. Fuck- Everything he wants.
So Jason bows his head and focuses on his thrusts, closing his eyes before he gets too overwhelmed and conflicted. No time for emotions, not right now, but fuck- Not right now; he’s thrusting hard and deep and fast and Roy starts to moan out loud and the bedsprings are fussing beneath them but Jason does not give a damn right now about the noise. He’s fucking him mercilessly, with no restraint because he’s close to coming, Roy’s close to coming and he wants nothing more than to end this with a grand finale.
Roy’s hands are clawing into his back. His body’s tensing up and his legs are locked around him and Roy’s starting to moan his name-
Dear God-
When Jason comes he’s thrusting, and Roy’s on the edge. “Come on,” Jason’s growling at him, and it’s not because he wants to rush it, but because he wants to see it- No, needs to hear it. Needs to hear what sounds Roy makes when he loses it and needs to feel his body react-
Jason’s coming down, starting to lose some strength but he makes it to the end. Makes it to the end when Roy finally lets go, spilling cum across his chest with a low and deep sigh, a sigh that’s rough and low. He feels his body relax, feels the muscles lose their tension and sees his face changing, all shadows in the dark room but noticeable enough, when his stressed expression finally gives way to a softer one; at ease.
Roy’s still breathing deeply, but it’s slower now. He’s calming down. He’s calming himself, as he runs a hand across the side of Jason’s face and laughs quietly.
“Wow,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jason says.
His hand lingers there, just below his eyes. Jason nervously shakes it off. Stares down at Roy in silence. Stares at him for a long moment.
The silence of the room, almost deafening now.
Jason finally slides out of him. Roy’s hands are settling down at last, resting idly on his chest; he grimaces when he notices he’s just smeared one of them into his own cum.
Jason finds it within himself to laugh.
“You jerk,” Roy’s grinning back.
-
God. What the fuck. What the fuck.
That sound. That is fucking obnoxious.
Roy stirs to the godawful noise, a high-pitched beeping sound that’s horrible enough to wake the dead. Hm. Well. Probably shouldn’t say that one out loud around Jason.
It stops. Suddenly.
Roy’s relaxing now, exhaling a quiet sigh when he takes a moment to look around. Memories of the night before come back suddenly. Shockingly. He feels a sharp pang of emotion that’s something like guilt, except it’s laced with a hint of euphoria. He shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t be here now. But he just shared a bed with Jason and the horrible noise that just brought him back to reality must’ve been an alarm clock.
An alarm? What the hell? Who sets an alarm clock for the morning after you fuck somebody…
Score 0 points for romanticism from Jason. Or sentimentality.
Jason tosses a pillow at him.
“Ow,” Roy says.
“Come on, princess. Let’s move.”
Roy pauses for a moment.
Huh.
Roy’s staring at him with some amount of wonder. How did he not…
Right. Because Jason’s a weirdo that does it with the lights off. But why would-
“Is there a problem,” Jason’s frowning at him.
“You’re attractive,” Roy says.
“Okay.”
“Honestly.”
Jason’s body is covered in scars. Some of them look like bullet holes. Others are just marks, some slight and others grotesque. Some of them where bones broke and evidence of burns that never completely went away.
But Jason…
“Hasn’t anybody told you that,” Roy says.
“What are you on about,” he finally shows his annoyance. Takes a stroll towards the bathroom, turning his back on him, revealing more scars Roy had never seen before. More burns and gunshots among them.
No. It seems like no one had.
If they ever did, it wasn’t after seeing this.
-
“Nice going, Harper,” Jason’s growling at him. Wipes at a few drops of water running down his neck, as he readjusts his jacket.
“Didn’t know I could move that fast, did you,” Roy’s smirking.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
They must have set a new record for getting dressed. Must have. Because someone thought it’d be a good idea to fool around in the shower.
It was good though. It was very good. Roy’s talented with his mouth. And his hands. He didn’t know that before. Logical as it is.
“Kory,” Jason greets her, when they finally catch up to her.
“Hello,” she says politely. “You’re late.”
“We ran into a small delay,” Jason clarifies.
“From your shower,” Kory makes an educated guess.
Jason’s pretending he doesn’t hear Roy’s smirk.
“Am I mistaken? Your hair is wet, so I would assume-”
Roy’s laughing to himself.
Fucking…
“We need to get moving,” Jason steers them back on track. “Fast.”
“You got us hooked up with another plane?” Roy’s asking.
“I found one,” Kory interjects.
Roy sends back a blank stare. “What.”
“It was unattended.”
“Do we have a pilot?” Roy’s asking.
Jason shrugs, and speaks with some confidence, “Yes.”
-
Of course Jason can fly a plane. Of course.
The Bat kids can do everything.
“Why did I ever doubt you,” Roy says to himself.
The engine is humming and the walls are shaking. Roy’s feeling a bit bored, but it’s not a bad change of pace. It gives him time alone with his thoughts. Sort of. He’s sitting across from Kory, but she says so little that she’s almost not there.
“You smell nice,” Kory suddenly says.
Roy smiles at her, without even meaning to. It always feels good to get a compliment from a pretty lady. “Thanks. They had this soap,” he explains, “That smells like roses.”
He hears Jason’s voice calling back, “It’s meant for girls, Harper.”
“Sorry,” Roy’s calling back, “Didn’t realize you were a manly man, Jason.”
“Are you insulting me?” but there’s some humor in there. Roy hopes he’s hearing that right, anyway.
“No, but I am saying I had the better one,” he yells back. “You know, you smell like.. musk or something.” He sneaks a grin to Kory, “and I don’t even know what the hell musk is.”
“You smell like each other,” Kory says.
Oh.
Oh.
“Were you intimate,” Kory’s asking. Politely. She has a way of asking even the most personal things politely, with no rude intent.
It doesn’t take any effort to hear Jason’s audible groan.
Roy shrugs, and words are spilling out before he can stop them, “Well, it’s the first time-”
“Last time,” Jason calls back.
Oh.
Roy bites his lip, to avoid saying something mean. But he does manage what he can, calling over his shoulder, “I don’t appreciate that.”
Roy really…
Wishes Jason would keep his mouth shut, this time.
“Can’t be the first time you’ve heard that, Harper.”
Oh. Okay.
So that’s how it is.
“Whatever,” but he says it under his breath.
He glances up, to see Kory staring at him. Her eyes are calm, and her mouth twitches like she’s about to speak. But she says nothing.
Roy doesn’t have much to say either.
Goddammit.
This fucking pressure in his chest.
-
“You are close to him,” Kory says.
“What do you mean,” Jason’s asking for clarification. With one gun held upright, he’s marching down the path, taking care to walk slowly over the muddy ground.
“Roy. You are close to him.”
“We’ve known each other a while,” he says.
“Is he…”
“He went up ahead. He’s stalking the target.”
“That’s not my question.”
“I’m sorry,” he says in a quiet tone.
She’s not offended. She continues on in stride, “Is he special to you.”
“Does it matter?”
He doesn’t know why he said that. Doesn’t know why he’d think that way. Because he’s not supposed to think that way. The answer should be simple. Like an instinct. An impulsive response he gives without thinking. Not this. Not those words.
“Yes,” she says. Kory falls silent for a moment, as she follows him through a trail of dense trees, moving a few branches out of their way. When she speaks, her voice is calm as always, “He cares deeply for you.”
Jason stops. “What?”
Kory stops, seeming confused. She blinks once, and stares at him directly. “I believed you were aware of his feelings.”
“Did he say something?”
“He acts unusual,” Kory shrugs. “Humans are easy to understand, if you observe them.”
Right. Of course.
Because Roy acts like he’s got a crush on him. It doesn’t take rocket science to-
Roy acts like-
Shit.
“We should keep moving,” Jason says, diverting her on purpose.
He couldn’t really…
“Besides,” he continues, “You can’t take Roy too seriously. Half of what he does is overdramatic. Or even worse… stupid,” with a small smirk.
“You offend him,” she says.
“He’s a big boy,” at least they’re walking again. “He can handle it.”
“He values your opinion of him.”
“I know.”
Where did that even come from. Roy’s habit of talking before he thinks must be contagious. It’s a frightening new development.
But he does know. That only makes it worse.
Roy’s a tough guy, but he’s…
Especially if he…
Fuck.
-
“Geez,” He’s grinning at Jason and Kory from high in the trees, before he jumps down. Lands with a loud splash into the mud, and the crashing of a few branches beneath his feet, “Thought you’d never catch up.”
“We left you alone to work,” Jason clarifies.
“I’ll say,” he smirks back, as he gestures behind him, “It’s a mess over there.”
“Does it look problematic,” Kory’s asking.
“Not for us,” Roy grins so wide he almost smiles. “They’ve been yelling at each other the whole time. A higher up’s turning them against each other.” He leans in towards her, while he starts to explain it, “Except that half of them don’t think he is. They think it’s all a big conspiracy to-”
“Hey. Harper,” Jason’s cutting in.
Roy pretends not to hear him. “-just make the mission a failure, so they can all-”
“Roy,” Jason tries again.
“What,” Roy frowns back at him. He looks around to some comedic effect, “Where’s the fire.”
Jason rolls his eyes. “Get serious. We didn’t come here to chat.”
“Fine,” he crosses his arms. Jason always finds a way to kill the mood.
But he does seem to be more pissy today. If that’s possible. Which apparently it is.
“Can’t say I care about their problems,” Jason’s clarifying, “We just need to get in there.”
“I can take care of them,” Kory volunteers.
“That would leave you vulnerable to their defense.” Jason assures her. “We’re here to work as a team, and that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“So we’re finally a team,” Roy suggests.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He bites his tongue, because either Jason hasn’t noticed how often he’s been throwing that word around lately, or he doesn’t want to. Better to leave him be, thinking he’s still a lone wolf. If that’s how he prefers to live…
The sudden, inexplicable urge to stand closer to him. He doesn’t know where it comes from, but he gives into it. Slightly. Nudges himself over a little and grins back when Jason sends him a confused look.
He hates how observant Jason is. A silent sigh and Roy’s stepping back again.
“Alright,” Jason says. “So they’re disorganized,” with a nod to Roy.
Roy nods back. Doesn’t feel like explaining it again.
“What about their weapons.”
“They have them,” Roy says. Still doesn’t feel like saying much.
“Yeah, and?”
“They have guns.”
“How many, you idiot.”
“Enough of them.”
“Did you get a count at all?”
“About one per person, maybe two or three…”
“You can’t be more specific?”
“I was stuck in a tree. It’s not exactly high-tech surveillance.”
“Harper, that's your only job-”
“What, and fighting’s not a part of it?”
“Fighting is second to the simple task I asked you to do-”
“Jason, my most important job is to protect you guys.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Jason’s pissing him off.
“Look, I’m sorry I let you down,” Roy’s crossing his arms over his chest, because it almost feels like it helps to keep the emotions in. “I’m not smart like you, so don’t rely on me again, alright? That’ll save us all some grief.”
Jason sighs.
“If you don’t need me I can just…”
Jason looks at him. Roy doesn’t look back. Doesn’t want to.
“I’m sure you’ve got other friends to help you out.”
He’s leaving before he thinks. Before he gives Jason a chance to say something.
Because fuck him, that’s why.
Fuck his lack of gratitude, his consistent and increasingly bad moods and the fact that they just fucked each other last night, and Jason’s still acting like he wouldn’t care if he fell off the side of a cliff.
Well.
I don’t care about you either.
He’s trying not to, anyway.
He’ll try.
-
Who the hell runs off when you’re in the middle of nowhere to begin with? Score more points for Roy Harper’s genius.
He was right about the guns, though. In his own way. Those goons were armed well enough, but stupid. Their disorganization was evident. Half of them went the wrong way, and ended up facing Kory. The other half went in the better direction, but had to contend with Jason. Had they all been together as a unit, things would’ve worked out better for them.
If they’d managed to work as a team.
He’s finally starting to understand what that means. Because had they been able to face them as one unit, and to see through his and Kory’s remarkably simple plan of attack, Jason’s not certain he’d be alive to talk about it. Kory was the frontal assault, to even the playing field. Jason was the brute force, to give them strength. And Roy was the backup.
Roy was the last defense against getting shot in the back.
When Jason finds him, it’s exactly where he expected to. Only a short distance away from where he left them. Specifically, where he walked away from Jason.
“You’re still here,” is the most pleasant greeting he can manage. At least it’s straightforward.
“Where would I go?” He’s speaking quietly. Almost unnervingly so. He doesn’t even turn to look at him. He’s sitting in mud, his back against a tree and he seems to honestly not care.
It’s unsettling.
“Getting home would be no cakewalk,” Jason admits.
“I wasn’t going to,” he’s quick to speak, too. "Had to keep an eye on you guys." There’s a noticeable pause. An interruption in his thought, before he speaks again. “Just wanted a break from you, anyway.”
What is he supposed to say to that? The last thing he wants to do is indulge Roy’s dramatic tendencies. But he’s feeling a bit tired of being an asshole, too.
Thankfully, before he can think of something to say, Roy’s talking again. Of course. He can never keep his mouth shut for very long.
“I didn’t have to come out here. You know that?” He finally turns to look at him, and for the first time, Roy’s looking… down. Low. “I mean, I know I said all that stuff about, what would I do with my life anyway a while back, but come on.” He turns away again, facing forward into the dense miles of trees and mud and dirt. “If I had to find a life, I could have.”
He’s right. Jason recalls wanting to question Roy when he first made that statement, too. It’d never seemed correct. He was just too annoyed at the time to breach the subject.
He was always too annoyed to talk to him properly.
For the first time in a great while, he wants to try. “Harper.”
But Roy keeps going. “I could have found something better to do with my time.”
Another pause, and now would be the perfect time to cut in. But Jason doesn’t. The window of opportunity is too short. The words aren’t ready yet.
When Roy speaks, his voice is growing more faint. He’s sounding more wounded than Jason’s ever heard. Wounded and low. Down and low. “I didn’t have to get dragged out into the middle of nowhere, in this godawful swamp weather. I didn’t have to deal with getting mud all over me, climbing very high trees with bugs on them, getting insulted for work I actually did... and screwing around with some guy that’s an asshole to me anyway.”
Okay. That’s enough. “Roy.”
“What?” he growls.
There’s something vicious in the way he said that. It’s intimidating. For the first time in his life, Roy is intimidating him.
“What?” The anger. The anger in his eyes. The stress in his mouth, and the… weakness in his body. He’s shaking. Why is he shaking.
“Roy.”
“What, Jason,” and this time, it’s defeated. Quiet again, back into those quiet depths where he speaks with almost no sound.
“I’m sorry.”
He spoke before he could think about it. But it’s not a bad thing to say. It’s not the wrong thing to say.
Roy’s looking at him with some surprise. But there’s some skepticism in the look he sends. Jason gets that. He understands that. Because Roy has no reason to trust him to be genuine. He has no reason to trust him to be kind. Not to him.
Somehow, that makes him feel like he’s made a mistake. Some mistake he didn’t see. Some clue he missed, some line he wasn’t supposed to cross. When his banter with Roy started to become hurtful. When his insults started carrying too much weight.
When the lack of affection became something that Roy noticed. When it became a lack of something that he wanted.
How did Jason forget to tell Roy that he-
“This changes things,” Roy’s saying. “What we did.”
“I know-”
Why didn’t he ever tell him that he mattered to him, that-
“It shouldn’t, but it does,” he’s sighing. “I’m sorry.”
“I know-”
That he cared about his well-being.
That he cared about him.
“I mean, it’s stupid.” Roy’s withdrawing further inside himself, and it’s like he’s speaking more to himself than Jason. “It’s usually not a problem for me. It didn’t mean anything to you, and it shouldn’t mean anything to me.”
No. Roy. Stop it.
“But it does.” He can barely hear him now. “It means a lot to me.”
Roy.
Kory. What Kory said…
Jason sighs. Finally spits out the difficult question. Even if it makes him feel like a kid, asking so bluntly, so immaturely, and so upfront when he should’ve just known. “Do you... like me?”
“Don’t be stupid.” A pause. “Of course I do.”
Of course.
Of course he does.
“When you rescued me from that prison… I was really happy. And not just because I was free.”
“Happy enough to sleep with Kory.” No. Don’t be an ass.
But it’s the jealousy. It’s his jealousy kicking in. Even if it’s unwelcome. Even if it’s not supposed to exist. He’s jealous. He’s jealous that Kory slept with Roy before he did. He’s jealous that Kory slept with Roy at all.
These feelings shouldn’t exist.
“She was there for me. She made me feel better.”
Why does that hurt.
“You could’ve asked me to do it.” Come on Roy, use your common sense. Where was your confidence-
“Like you would’ve,” he sounds defeated before he finishes the sentence.
But that’s not…
Roy wind his arms around his knees, and he leans forward as he stares intently into the distance. Jason stares at his back, almost willing him to turn around. To look at him again, because he needs to know what he’s thinking. He needs to know where he’s going with this, before he gets there.
But he can’t know everything. All he has are Roy’s words.
“You’re always so.. wrapped up in your little world. You’re lost inside your own head.”
Maybe.
“Besides,” Roy finally gives an audible laugh, but it’s quiet. It’s forced. His voice is still low. “I’m… basically an open door with a welcome mat on it. I figured that, you know… if you ever wanted anything from me, you’d ask.”
Like Kory. Roy thinks he would’ve walked up to him and asked, like Kory. Like everyone else.
That’s a problem. Jason’s almost offended.
But he did. That’s exactly what he did. It was a rare moment, driven by an urge he did not understand, but that’s exactly what he did. He didn’t even ask. He just started touching him.
It’s almost inconsiderate.
No. It is.
He didn’t care about his feelings. He didn’t ask him how he felt. He didn’t take him seriously when he questioned it or showed concern.
And that’s why they’re in this mess. That’s why they’re here, like this. Facing away from each other, with Roy hugging himself and staring at the ground.
But now, at least. Now, he’s standing up. Looks down with a small groan at all the mud on his pants. Doesn’t bother to wipe it off.
Jason's natural instinct is in conflict with his brain. His thoughts don’t match what he feels compelled to do. His thoughts, telling him to shut this discussion down, and walk away. Don’t do any more damage. Let this problem settle and fade away on its own. Remain the way he knows how to live. Don’t invite this stress into your life.
And his instinct, telling him to grab Roy by the shoulders and pull him closer, to press their mouths together until he finds the words to tell him that he meant it, that he meant—and wanted, and still does—every single thing he did to him.
Roy’s standing with a bit more confidence now, but he’s still avoiding eye contact. Jason can barely see his face, because he insists on looking out into that same distant horizon. “Let’s just… put this behind us.”
Now he turns. Looks right at him. There’s…
There’s a darkness in his eyes that Jason’s never seen.
“What d’ya say?”
Jason tries to appeal to his reason. His pride. Anything, to detour where this discussion is going. “Aren’t you the one that’s always telling me to be mature?”
Roy tilts his head at him, and Jason can’t tell if he’s surprised or annoyed. His sadness is masking every other emotion.
“Who are you, after all that talk, to walk away from a complicated situation?”
Roy shrugs. “I’m just me.” He bites his lip for a second, “I know I talk all that shit, but… Right now? I wanna be selfish.” He’s nodding along to his words, like he’s trying to convince himself, “Let me be immature. And we can move on. Chalk it up to some,” he shrugs, “lapse of judgment. When we thought it was a good idea.”
What do you say, to something like that.
“There, you’re excused,” he gives a sideways grin and a quick wave of his hand.
Roy.
“Why is it a bad idea.”
“What."
“Tell me.”
Roy’s at a genuine loss for words. His eyes are scanning his face, like he’s looking for an answer, for some clue on what he should say. He shakes his head. “I…” He frowns, “You know why.”
“Why’s that.”
“Because you can’t… You’re not supposed to fuck someone you wanna be with.”
What is this…
“It just gets messy,” Roy shrugs. “It’s really messy.”
What is this feeling.
“I was trying to figure out why I’m so pissed and that’s exactly it." For a moment he looks like he wants to laugh. Coldly. Regrettably. "I want you. I want to be with you. And I just need to get over it. And I can’t do that it if we’re screwing around.”
“Why do you have to get over it?”
“What,” Roy looks incredulous. “Why wouldn’t I? I mean, you don’t-”
His expression falls.
The words stop.
Roy stares at him with something that’s similar to fear.
His voice is small, when he speaks again.
“Do you?”
Jason has difficulty expressing emotion. He has difficulty expressing positive emotions. He has difficulty accepting them. Difficulty understanding them. Difficulty conveying them to anyone else.
But he can move. He can move remarkably well.
When he raises a hand to Roy’s face, he doesn’t lean away. He’s not startled this time. He’s concerned. He still looks scared.
It makes Jason angry. Because-
When he nudges him closer, Roy moves cautiously as Jason takes that step forward. Roy’s turning towards him slowly and Jason swears he can feel his body shaking from the stress.
Why didn’t he ever know.
Roy’s eyes are heavy and he’s glancing at Jason carefully, until the moment when Jason kisses him, and his eyes close.
Why didn’t Roy ever know that he was important.
You idiot, I risked my life to save you.
God.
Why didn’t I ever know?
Jason’s winding an arm around his shoulders and once again he feels the comforting pressing of hands against his back. A kiss that builds in momentum, a kiss that’s more affectionate than desperate, slow and deliberate.
Jason’s never kissed him like this before.
Jason’s never kissed anyone like this before.
He’s kissing him because he wanted to. Because he needed to. Because he felt the sudden urge, the instinct to be close to this person, to touch him, to show him affection, to comfort and console him.
He wanted, more than anything else, to make him happy.
He wanted Roy to be happy.
Goddamn.
Before he lets Roy pull away, he kisses him one more time, for good measure. Holds his face in his hands and feels like something’s wrong with him. Something hurts inside him, but it’s a pain that makes him feel alive.
Roy’s staring back, with some amount of wonder. Staring back, expression still fragile; cautious. “So what does that mean,” he asks quietly.
“What do you think?”
When Roy stares back with some confusion, Jason kisses him again.
He opens his mouth this time. Deep and heavy and hot and somehow this feels better than it ever did. Roy’s hands are tracing up his back and it takes Jason every amount of restraint he has to not bring him closer, to press their bodies together and re-enact what happened the night before.
Because he wants him. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.
When Roy breaks the kiss with a contented sigh, he lets himself relax, his face pressed against Jason’s neck. Jason feels him breathing, slow and faint. But when Roy settles against him, arms winding themselves around his back, Jason feels his heart against his chest. Feels it thundering.
“You’re important to me,” he finally says.
Silence. Just for a moment.
A murmured sound that almost sounds like a sigh.
Roy is warm to hold. He’s warm and broader than Jason would have imagined. The fabric of his uniform is textured and rough to the touch. His hair is soft and easy to wind his fingers through. His neck is decorated with a few scars and his back is smooth. He runs his hands across it, and he can hear Roy sigh one more time.
“You okay,” Jason finally asks.
It’s a quiet murmur, but he can almost hear the grin in his voice.
“Perfect.”
-
Jason is a man of many faces.
Roy wears his heart on his sleeve.
One of them lives a life of secrets, and the other, of honesty.
Roy has been enamored with Jason for a long time, now. Since Kory first met him. She saw the way he looked at him. They way he moved around him. The way he lingered on each word, even the cruel ones. The way his eyes followed his footsteps.
She did what she could, to ease his pain. She gave him a happy memory, to ease the hurt of unrequited love. It wasn’t a feeling she was very experienced with, but… It was one she understood, all the same.
She believes that Jason loved Roy before she knew who Roy was.
When he mentioned his name, before he made the decision to rescue him. It was a dark night. A lonely night, much like today. He was sitting beside her, and he made the invitation to sleep with her. He didn’t say why.
But he mentioned his name, before he came.
He thinks she didn’t hear it. He would want to assume such a thing. Because he said it without sound. But it was on the edge of his lips, before he kissed her.
And she wondered why they didn’t become involved with each other, except she assumed they had a good reason. She assumed they had a past, a reason to keep them apart. But she underestimated how little humans can observe of each other. How ignorant they can be of what they feel.
She didn’t realize that Roy could be in love with Jason, and that Jason could be in love with Roy, without them understanding that of each other.
She watched them kiss, from a short distance away. She hadn’t meant to intrude, but she assumed they might be looking for her, after much time had passed. But they were occupied with each other. Kissing, touching, holding. The inability to separate from one another. The obsession with each other, ignited after hours of heartache and days of suffering.
It gave her a sense of peace she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Because now, at last, they can be happy.
They can have what they truly wanted. That which makes their hearts race. That which drives their ambition. To see the path forward, out of the darkness of their lives.
Love.