Archive of Our Own

Isak didn’t know how exactly it worked, no one really knew how it worked, but he knew that it was a big deal: finding your soulmate. Everyone in the world had a soulmate, just one, that they would find at one point in their life. It was such a big deal that he remembered everything his mother had said after sitting him down at an early age and telling him about what it all meant.

“Son, you know how you only see colours, right?” His mother asked him as she sat down, watching him read a comic. Isak hummed, only half listening, and he didn’t look up at her. He was lost in the story, why was she bothering him?

She sighed, clearly annoyed with him too, his lack of interest in her words and she took the comic from his hands, “look Isak, we need to have a serious conversation about this, okay?” She sounded stern but Isak was still whining, reaching out for his comic. “You’re eleven years old now. You never know at what age this might happen.”

Isak was paying attention now, understanding that this was something grown-ups had to deal with. Isak desperately wanted to be older already and so he wanted to know what she was talking about.

“So,” She said once she finally had his attention, and she started her story all over again, “you know how you only see colours, right?” Isak nodded this time, eyes on his mother, “yes. I see colours, but not black and white. Black and white and gray turn into colours for me, but not for others. Like Christian can only see black, white and gray. For him the colours I see turn into black and white too.” He was a smart boy, his mother should have known he already knew of that.

It kind of felt like a stupid conversation to have then. He already knew this all, knew that there were two kinds of people in the world. The ones who saw in colour and the ones who saw in black and white. But his mother smiled at him and gave a nod, “yes, like that. There is a reason for that. And it won’t always be like that.”

Isak frowned, “no? Is it different for you?” he asked her and she folded her hands in her lap, “yes. I used to see in black and white. Your dad used to see in colour. And then we met each other and we saw everything at once. It made me see colour and made your dad see black and white. That is what happens when you meet your soulmate.”

“My soulmate?” Isak’s frown deepened and he crossed his arms, “so when you fall in love you can see all the colours? But mom, I am in love and I do not see it? I am in love with Anna and I only see my colours.” Isak’s mother chuckled and ruffled his hair, “and Anna, what does she see?” she asked him and Isak blinked, “oh. She sees colours too. Does that mean we cannot be in love?”

His mother shook her head, “no, it does not mean you cannot be in love, it only means that you are not soulmates. But one day you will be walking down the streets or you will be going to work or you will be doing groceries and you will meet the one that makes you see everything at once.”

Isak wanted to ask so many questions, like when he could expect this to happen or what he should do once he found them, but he could not figure out where to start.

“I just want you to know what that means,” his mother went on. “It means that one day you will end up together. Maybe not now, you are only eleven, maybe it will take a while before you will be with each other, but now you will not be surprised when it happens.”

He guessed it was good to know about this, although he felt much too young to marry someone. He hoped he would not meet his soulmate too soon, because that would be awful. Did people really get married while they were so young just because they found their soulmate?

His mother took his hand and pressed a kiss to it, “but, my beautiful baby, I want to warn you too.” Oh. A warning wasn’t good, it was not good at all, in fact warnings were always bad. His mother cleared her throat, “as you will grow older, your bond will grow stronger,” She explained, which made sense to Isak, but that didn’t sound like a warning yet. “And as it grows stronger, you might start to see black and white when your soulmate isn’t even there. That’s when you have to get worried.”

She stared ahead, “remember when dad had a car accident?” she asked and Isak nodded because he did. He remembered the tubes and the needles and the bruises he had had and Isak never wanted to experience something like that again. “Well, my colours started to fade. They were turning into black and white again. Not permanently, but whenever he was in a bad place, they faded more. Thankfully they always came back and your dad turned out fine, but know that when that happens your soulmate is in danger.”

In danger? Dying… Oh no. “but, but what if that happens?” He asked his mother, already afraid now. Could she not have waited a few more years?

She tipped her head to the side, “well, there is not much you can do if you do not know who it is. All you can do at that point is pray for them and their safety. But if it ever happens then you know why. I am not saying it will, but it could happen. So once you first see black and white it does not necessarily mean your soulmate is there at that time. It could be their life is in danger.”

It was so much to take in at once that he did not know how to reply to this at all. His mother understood why he felt like that, although that had not held her back from telling him this. It had taken him by surprise and now he was forced to live with this knowledge. He was sure that from now on he would be on the lookout for his soulmate wherever he went. At least his soulmate was not anyone from his class, he could be sure of that right now.

Isak remembered how big of a deal it was back then, but it was nothing compared to how big of a deal it was now that Isak was older. So many people around him were falling in love, finding their soulmates, but he had not found his own soulmate yet. But now… now his mother’s words rang so clear in his mind.

He had thought their whole talk would have been enough to prepare him for what it would feel like to experience the bond between him and his soulmate, but oh was he wrong. There was no words to really explain the sensation, but that did not refrain him from trying.  

It was a Sunday morning and Isak was on his bed, having just woken up. He decided to play a video game instead of start on his homework, obviously procrastinating, and he was in the middle of the level he just could not beat when it happened.

It was hard to compare the experience to anything else he had ever gone through. The only thing he could describe it as was as if he was on a strange trip after smoking weed. Everything suddenly got very intense, his eyes hurting with how bright everything became. There were new colours there that he had not seen before. His car turned in a dark colour instead of the vibrant green it had been and the text turned dark too. Black.

Isak dropped his consoler, losing a life and his car turning back to the start. Isak stared in shock, but the colours were slowly fading again, the black returning to green and it took another moment before he finally realised what this meant. He was by himself in his bedroom and that meant he did not see his soulmate for the first time, but that his mom’s warning had become reality… His soulmate was in danger.

There was a lump in Isak’s throat and he tried to swallow it down. How would he know how bad it was? How would he know if his soulmate had just died? Maybe there was no real way to find out what exactly was going on, but something was. Something was wrong.

Nevertheless, this was the first time Isak felt a connection to his soulmate and it made him excited somewhat. His heartbeat sped up as he wondered who it was and what had happened to them. Had they seen colours as Isak had experienced seeing black and white for the first time?

Isak fell back on his bed, letting the game be for now. To feel both excitement and worry was a strange experience. He was so thrilled to have felt something, so eager to feel it again and find out more, but at the same time there was worry in the pit of his stomach, concern swirling around endlessly. What had happened to his soulmate? Would he ever feel their connection again?

As it turned out he did get to feel their connection again. Quite a few times actually. From that day until Isak’s seventeenth birthday he had seen black and white six more times. It still made him wonder what on earth was going on with his soulmate that they would be in danger so regularly, but at least he knew it was only temporary.

He wondered if maybe his soulmate was ill, if maybe they had a disease that had them balancing on the line between life and death. Like cancer, for example. Because what else could it be? What could be the reason for Isak to see black and white if not that?

He really tried not to question it too much, to let it be, because he did not know his soulmate and could not change it anyway, but that was more difficult than expected. He caught himself having dreams about it that were so realistic that they had felt like reality for days.

And every time it happened, every time he saw everything at once, he felt the same shock as that first time. The anxiety and discomfort along with the exhilaration were still the strangest things he had ever felt in his life and sometimes he was dying to find his soulmate. He wanted to go out and find them, but he had no idea where his soulmate could be. They could be in Oslo or on the other side of the world. There was no way to find them so all he could do was wait.

He had to wait and live with the few signs of life he got from time to time. There was no pattern in them either. Isak knew, because he had tried to look for one. They were as random as could be. It could be late at night or halfway through the day while Isak was in class, but it always made him zone out for a few minutes at least.

One time his vision stayed that way for almost half an hour and Isak had ran around the house to check everything out, to see everything in their true colours as he was trying to make the exhilaration win from the worry he felt. It never lasted. There would always be that fear for his soulmate’s safety.

---

Isak was pissed off, so fucking pissed off. His tram had not shown up. Out of all days that it could decide not to come it chose that Friday when he was supposed to go to one of the best parties of the year. Honestly, Isak had never really cared if it was late or if there were issues, because most times that meant he was late to school with a reason, but now, now it sucked. His friends were waiting for him and now he would surely be late.

He joined the group of people waiting with him and pulled a sour face, crossing his arms for a moment but then thinking better of it and pulling out his phone so he could text Jonas that he’d be late.

It was cold out and Isak hid his face in his scarf as he already felt awfully annoyed with everything. Things had been stupid lately, everything somehow working against him, and he had really looked forward to the party. Now he was stuck outside with no one to keep him company.

He kept twitching his leg, biting at his lower lip, as he waited for Jonas to reply. All that he got was a ‘that sucks’, but nothing else to work with and so he put his phone back, deciding it wasn’t worth getting cold hands for.

The group of waiting people grew over the next ten minutes where they waited for something to happen, until the following tram was supposed to come. When that one didn’t show up either, people started getting more restless. There was some mumbling, a man checking his watch and a young woman calling her boyfriend to ask if she knew if there were any problems on their line.

And then a bus stopped, right there, on the tram tracks. The door opened and the driver yelled, “There is a malfunction on line 17 and 18. There will be buses to bring everyone to their destinations.” The man had not even finished talking before everyone was pushing forward to get inside. No one wanted to wait any longer, including Isak. He wriggled himself in between the people trying to get in through the small front entrance. It was a surprise he actually managed to get inside and although he had to stand in the aisle, he was glad to be inside.

The bus started driving, making people bump into each other, and Isak had to hold on tightly so he would not fall, but he kept telling himself at least he was moving forward now. At least he was on his way to the party now instead of standing there at his stop, waiting for something to happen.

There was not enough space for him to get out his phone and text his friends to pass the time, so Isak stared outside for a bit. It was getting dark outside already, which for Isak was a blue-ish colour, and most people were on their way home from work to settle in for the night. Not Isak, though, because Isak would not be home until morning, he would make sure of that.

The dark blue colour outside got him tired soon, which, of course, was definitely not the desired effect, and so he changed his field of vision and turned to the people on the bus with him. There was a mother with a young girl and Isak smiled at their pink hair. Clearly they had black hair, because it would be strange if this mother and her daughter both actually had pink hair, but Isak’s eyes did not recognise black and so they transformed it to a colour he knew.

The same went for a tiny dog on someone’s lap, which was blue with orange spots. He knew that grown-ups would always laugh and make fun of everyone who had not met their soulmates yet. They would laugh at the crazy stuff they saw instead of the reality that people who had found their soulmates knew. Like Isak seeing a blue and orange dog or someone with black and white vision seeing the rainbow in greyscale.

But despite all its difficulties, in a way the whole colour vision thing made it easier to fall in love. There were plenty of dating sites where people would sign up and go to speed dating events. After all it only took one look to know if someone was your soulmate. But the inconvenient parts made it that people tried looking for their soulmates at an early age. No one wanted to wait, because they wanted to see the full spectrum of colours.

Isak had been looking since his mother told him, over five years ago now. But then again he hadn’t really gone out of his way to go other places, to look for his soulmate at places where he didn’t already go every day. He often imagined it would be something special, like you could feel it coming somehow, although in reality that was not really a plausible thing.

Of course there were soulmate stories of people meeting on holiday in far-away countries, with one of them sure that they had chosen that destination with a reason, a gut feeling to say. However, most stories were of people just going out to buy some groceries, stories where they were doing everyday things and found their soulmates by accident.

His eyes trailed up further, to a few seats further to the back, past an annoying looking man with a phone to his ear and up to a boy his age. And that was when his heartbeat picked up, his breath stocking as black and white flooded his vision.

There was a boy sitting at a seat near the doors, staring outside with his chin leaning on one hand. He looked lost in thought or like he was staring at something out there and somehow Isak thought he looked sad.

His hair was a bit darker than Isak’s, but he was still blonde, and he wore dark clothes. ‘probably because he has black and white vision’ Isak thought to himself. The boy was not just wearing black though, because there was a burgundy coloured beanie on his head and a scarf of the same colour around his neck, which told Isak that the boy most likely had gotten them from someone with coloured vision.

Isak closed his eyes and looked away quickly. ‘Could it be?’ He asked himself, taking a few seconds before he opened his eyes again. The black and white was gone again, the dog back to his blue fur with orange dots.

This time he looked up with determination, his eyes easily finding the boy at the window again. And back were the colours, back was his rapidly beating heart, the tremble in his fingers. He was sure of it now. It had to be right? It had to be his soulmate.

He couldn’t breathe or move, feeling so frozen as the realisation hit himhard. Only moments before he had been thinking about his soulmate only to find him. Him.

Isak’s time was running out, he noticed it a moment later. He kicked into motion when he saw the boy getting up and excusing himself as he got past the person sitting next to him. Isak started pushing too, repeating “sorry, sorry” every time he bumped against someone. “Sorry, I need to get off,” He repeated, but no one was letting him through. In the end it took so long for him to get there that the doors were just closing as he got to them.

“Hey! Hey, driver, I still have to get off!” He yelled, but the driver either did not hear him or did not pay attention to him. He could not get off until the next stop, which seemed to take forever to reach. Still, no matter how pointless it seemed, Isak got off and started running back to where they had come from. Maybe if he was lucky the boy was still hanging around the stop somewhere.

But luck wasn’t with him that night, because when he finally returned to their previous stop, out of breath and feeling desperate, there was no one around. The streets were deserted, there was literally no one around to help him with this, so he tried to recognise where he was and think what would be the most logical way to go.

Where could the boy have gone to? Could he have been on his way home? Well of course that could be a possibility, but that would be a dead end for Isak. But then again, what other things were nearby? A park, a 7-Eleven, a pub… Bislett stadion? No, nothing was happening there that night. There wasn’t much more his soulmate could have had as a destination, right? Fuck, if only Isak knew this part of Oslo better.

Looking for his soulmate now felt like a bit of a lost cause. It was too late and too cold to walk around aimlessly for much longer and Isak knew he had to go to his friends soon. Besides, the longer he waited the further away the boy would be. All he could do now was remember where he had gotten off and what exactly his soulmate looked like.

It was only then that it really settled that Isak had seen the person he was supposed to fall in love with. That he had finally seen, or well, gotten a glimpse of the person he belonged to.

---

“Jonas, Jonas I need to talk to you,” Isak begged as he finally reached Jonas after having rushed through the enormous crowd of partying people. He hadn’t even taken off his coat yet, he was that desperate to find his best friend. He had to tell someone. He just had to share.

Jonas had obviously drank some alcohol already, because he was very giggly and smiley as he talked to some older girls that were clearly out of his league. “Jonas,” He demanded and his friend sobered up a little as he noticed Isak, “Isaaaaak, you came. You’re so damn late,” He laughed and threw an arm around Isak’s shoulders.

Isak hummed and smiled at the girls, “yes, I did. I want to talk to you, can you please come with me?” he asked and Jonas gave him a difficult look, but then the girls were already excusing themselves and so Jonas shrugged.

Those girls were not his soulmates anyway so they were not that important. He knew Jonas would set them aside for him. Especially because he was being this demanding about having to talk to him.

Isak kept dragging him, first through the room and then down the hallway, while looking for a quiet area where they could talk. He opened the door to the bedroom but found a couple making out on the bed so he closed it again. Luckily for them the bathroom was empty and he pushed Jonas in before closing the door behind him and locking it.

“What’s-“ Jonas started, but Isak interrupted him as he turned to him. “I saw my soulmate,” he let it out so he would not have to hold it in a moment longer, “I saw my soulmate, Jonas.” “What? When?” Jonas demanded, instantly picking up the same energy Isak had. Isak bounced as he looked at his phone to check the time, “like two hours ago. On the bus.”

Jonas’s eyes widened and he grabbed Isak’s upper arms, shaking him through a little, “well what the fuck are you doing here then? Why are you not with them, why are you not fucking your brains out with your soulmate.” Isak laughed at Jonas’s words, although they hurt a little too, “I said I saw my soulmate, not that I actually met my soulmate. I tried to follow them, but the bus driver was an asshole and- it is a long story.”

His best friend dropped the smile and a frown appeared instead, “oh. That sucks,” he muttered and Isak wanted to slap his friend for being so awful at advice at times. Like he did not know what to say so he just stuck to these short sayings he had copied from the internet. Most times Jonas was his go to place for advice, but whenever Isak had problems with something Jonas had no solution to, or he had not experienced it himself before, then he would be shit.

Isak swallowed and flopped down on the toilet seat, not daring to look at his friend. “What do you imagine your soulmate looks like?” Isak asked his friend. Jonas hummed thoughtfully as he leaned against the sink and then he said, “well, I imagine that she is shorter than me and a lot prettier than I will ever be,” he grinned, “and of course she is a kind person at heart.”

Isak did not know exactly what he had pictured his soulmate to be like, because he had never painted a picture in his head the way Jonas had done, but that did not mean he had been prepared for this. He had always thought of it being a girl, not of it being a guy. He did not know exactly why, because of course this had been a possibility too, but he had.

“And what, what if she is taller than you, not as pretty as you expected her to be and actually a real bitch?” he asked Jonas this time, which made Jonas gave him a look that said ‘this is a much too serious question for how much alcohol I have inside my body’.

Still, Jonas tried to make sense of his thoughts, which Isak had to give him credit for. “I- I do not know dude, I guess it would not matter. After all she will be my soulmate and she will light up my world. She will make me see colours. If it is meant to be it is meant to be.”

Isak nodded, because that was what he should be thinking about too, but it was such a strange thing to deal with and he could not just state it did not bother him. “But what, what if it was a guy instead of a girl?” He tried to make it sound casual, like he was only speculating instead of really asking him what Jonas would do if he was in Isak’s shoes.

Jonas kept quiet for a while, as if he was waiting for Isak to look up, but Isak did not. He heard his friend sigh, “then still the same, I guess. I get that it is strange, knowing it is a guy when you do not expect it to be, but it is still your soulmate.” Jonas was talking as if he was giving the advice to Isak instead of talking about himself, which only showed Isak that he had not been as subtle as he had hoped.

Isak hummed and decided to just admit to it then, “it was a guy. My soulmate is a guy. I belong with a guy. You know, it is not like I ever thought of having a family or anything, but now I cannot even think of that anyway. Because he is a guy.”

Jonas let out a deep breath, “dude. No offense, but I am like way too out of it to have a conversation this deep right now. Relax, you will have plenty of time to let it settle and then to find him again.” Jonas stepped closer and dropped a hand on Isak’s shoulder for barely a moment before he pulled it back, feeling awkward and unsure of what to do with it. Isak still appreciated it.

“Wanna just go and get fucked and figure this shit out in the morning?” He suggested as he unlocked the door and turned his upper body so he could look at Isak, “he is not going to show up right now anyway.” Isak took a deep breath and then got up, “why the hell not?”

---

The day after, when Jonas is sober again and a lot clearer, he sits Isak down and talks some sense into him. “Okay, you are the first one to find your soulmate, so we do not really have any experience at this point, but the guys are coming over to help set up a plan. Because of course you will need to go look for him.”

And right on track, as he spoke the words, the doorbell rang and Jonas wouldn’t even let him reply before he ran off to open up. Mahdi walked in with his laptop bag and Magnus followed, looking red as he dragged a huge flip chart into the living room. Clearly they needed something they could write on. Isak thought it was ridiculous.

“Okay,” Jonas said as he helped Magnus set up the flip chart before he popped the cap of the marker he had been holding. He wrote ‘Isak’s soulmate’ in the middle and drew a circle around it before adding lines to turn it into a word web. “Hit us, Isak. What do we know about your soulmate?” Jonas asked while Mahdi and Magnus sat themselves down.

He stared at them, begging with his eyes for them to help him, but they would not. If they had been on his side they would not have brought that flip chart with them. They stared at him expectantly and Isak did not have any other choice but to answer the question. “Uh, well, he has blonde hair, sort of. Like, a bit darker than mine but still light,” Isak started, watching Jonas write it down, “and I think, but I am not one hundred percent sure, I think I saw blue eyes.”

Jonas was scribbling and Isak tried to bring back every memory he had stored away. “He was tall, very tall, like he had to bend down to get out of the bus without hitting his head. Oh and he wore a red beanie and a red scarf. Burgundy red.”

Mahdi was on his laptop now, “alright, so you met on the bus, right? Which bus? What bus stop did you get on and at which did you get off. I can make a schedule and see if we can figure out some stuff.”

“Well I took the 12 to Stortovet and then wanted to get on the 17 or the 18, but it did not come thanks to complications. So there was a bus to take us down the route, but I do not know where it came from. Anyway, he got off at Bislett and so I tried to get off there too, but the driver would not let me. So I got off at Stensgata, which was the next stop, and ran all the way back, but of course he was nowhere to be found.”

Isak answered all their questions up until they got to a point where Isak was answering more with “I do not know,” than with proper answers. They did not have that much to go on, but they had enough to draw a few conclusions. Especially Mahdi was good in coming up with speculations.

“Okay, so if he lives there he could go to so many schools in the area that I do not think that that is a good place to start. We could check though what schools line 17 or 18 stop at, but I do not think that is really going to get us anywhere,” Mahdi said as he typed and looked up stuff.

“Maybe he goes to Bakka, I know Hausmanns gate is nearby and line 17 stops there,” Magnus brought in and Jonas wrote it down as an option. Mahdi hummed, “maybe, but we do not know if Bislett is his regular stop. Also, if he lives there why would he not just go to a school nearby?”

Magnus shrugged at that and Isak rubbed his face, “you want me to go to every school in the area to see if he goes there? That is such a pain in the ass. And what if he quit school? What if he is older than me and already in college? Guys, fuck, this is not the way to go.”

Jonas nodded thoughtfully, “okay, maybe not that, but you have to do something. We cannot just have you sit around and wait now, can we?” He tapped the marker against the side of the flip chart and hummed as he tried to think of what possibilities they had left.

“Oh!” Magnus yelled loudly, raising a hand with his index finger pointing up as if to state he had an idea, “what if- what if you just hang up some posters around the area with the message that you are looking for him?”

Isak instantly refused that idea with a loud and clear, “no.” He did not want to deal with that. It would be extremely embarrassing and would lead him nowhere. “Why not?” Magnus pouted, crossing his arms as he frowned at Isak. “Because look at this pathetic chart. I do not have much to put on there. I can only go like, ‘hi, I’m looking for my soulmate. He has blonde hair and maybe, possibly, blue eyes. He’s tall and wears a red beanie. But then again he does not know this because I see colours and he sees black and white.’ Besides, he did not see me, because if he had then we would obviously have gotten in touch already.”

Jonas blinked, “no, no that may actually work, those posters. Maybe he will see it. I mean, you can always try, right? It is better than doing nothing..” Isak was about to open his mouth when the marker hit his forehead, “do not even think about refusing. We are doing this, Isak. You are not going to waste time while you could spend it with your soulmate.”

Isak still wanted to argue, but now it was Jonas who lunging himself at Isak and Isak had no other shot at making any sound at all, with Jonas’s hand now over his mouth. “Great, that’s a deal. Mahdi, what else could we do?” Jonas asked while he looked up from his spot on top of Isak.

Mahdi looked amused and he went back to his laptop, typing and clicking for a minute before he spoke up, “well we could try to crash as many school parties as possible. There is a prom at Oslo Katedralskole in two weeks and a Christmas masquerade ball at Elvebakken the week after. I can check if there are any more parties? We could go together and maybe spread flyers or something.”

This made Isak protest again, but Jonas expected it this time and he kept him down as Isak muffled his words against his hand. “What are you saying?” Jonas asked, “you think it is a great idea? Cool.” Isak closed his eyes and gave up the fight. The only way he could stop them, well, that solution did not exist. He was too late with that. If he had not wanted the help he should not have told them.

---

Isak hated his friends, because they had actually gone through with it. They had made real-life flyers, a ton of them, and Isak saw them on the tram every day. He saw them at the stops and he saw them all around the Bislett area whenever he went out there to look for his soulmate. There were plenty of calls too, plenty of people hoping they would be lucky enough to find their soulmate, but none of the pictures his friends showed him were his and Isak was losing hope, fast.

And that was not all. Mahdi had come with a list of parties they could crash the following three weeks. To him it was a stupid idea that was doomed to succeed. His friends had probably only come up with it so they could go out and party with a valid reason and drag Isak along.

Still there was that small sliver of hope that made him join them every time anyway. Their first party, the one at Oslo Katedralskole, was a flop. There were barely a hundred people there and within the first hour Isak had scanned the whole room. His soulmate had not been there and so they had left without having had any alcohol and with a bitter taste in their mouth.

The second party was a college party and, well, that one was a disaster too, because the club was too dark for Isak to be able to focus. For him the darkness had turned into such a bright yellow that it had hurt his eyes. It was as if it had been a party exclusively for people with black and white vision, and it had taken Isak less than thirty minutes before he had a headache and told his friends this was not going to work out.

They were all losing hope so quickly, but Isak knew he shouldn’t be bothered too much. If it was his soulmate then he would see him again one day. Fate would bring them together sometime. Isak had to accept that he had done all he could right now and that he simply had to wait now. Somehow that wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be.

His friends wouldn’t give up on it either. They kept dragging him along and had forced him to buy a mask for the masquerade at Elvebakken. Isak had tried to get out of it, to make them stop, but he had nothing on his three friends. When they combined their forces and ordered him to do it, then there was no way Isak could back out.

So he bought a mask and wore his neatest clothes – because he refused to buy a suit for this occasion – and joined his friends on their way to the party. He was not that interested, but his friends were excited. They were going to crash the party at Elvebakken which made them excited.

Isak hoped that they would get caught on their way in, that they would not be able to get in at all, but his prayers were not heard. Out of all parties they had crashed, this was the easiest party to get into. It were probably the masks that saved them and so Isak did not worry too much about getting caught that night.

The guys had flyers taped to their shirts, both on the front and the back, and Isak wanted to get as far away from them as possible the minute they stepped inside. “Alright,” Mahdi, the one who organised all of this, spoke up, “I am taking Magnus. We are scanning the north and east part of the room, as I showed you on my laptop. You two take the south and the west.”

Isak nodded and turned to Jonas, “let’s split up, okay? I will do south, you do west and if we have time we will switch.” Jonas gave a single nod in return and they bumped their fists before going their own way. It made Isak relax more, being on his own, because he had no one he felt like he had to talk to. Instead he could focus on really looking at people.

Having it be a masquerade would not make things easier for them, though, but Isak knew it would only take one look to realise it was his soulmate he was looking at. Screw the masks. The other boys had a more difficult job than he had, they only had his simple description to go by.

At least he did not have to look at any of the girls there, which meant he could eliminate more than half of the people at the party. There were clearly more girls than guys there, so that was good, because there were so many people there that Isak had felt a little dejected at first.

He got himself a drink and started bobbing along to the music, watching the coloured lights flash as the bass made everything shake inside of him. His whole body was trembling and he smiled, finding a place against the wall to start his search for the one he belonged to.

There was a sea of bodies all dancing along to the beat and Isak let his eyes move over them one by one. As expected nothing happened and the longer it took, the less positive he felt about this all. Maybe his soulmate did not go to parties or maybe he had only been a tourist and was already gone again. Isak could not stop thinking of how unlikely it would be to find him so easily.

He started making his way through the crowd, scanning more people while he slowly but surely tried to find his way back to where he had decided to meet up with Jonas. He paused as he passed a few windows that were not covered to darken the room and he could see outside where a group of smokers stood in the cold, some in nothing but their dresses and some being smart and wearing coats.

There was a group of about ten people standing further in the back, along with a few loners spread around the area and a small group of three students in the corner near the windows and… there he was. Isak could feel his heart swell, everything becoming so much clearer as the colours around him changed into what they were supposed to be. Coloured dresses changed into black ones and the sky turned dark too.

His hand came up to touch the glass and he leaned against the window so his knees would not buckle. Fuck. He had found him again, he had actually found him again. ‘Please look up, please find me too.’ He begged it with his eyes, staring so intently he was sure he could get the message through to him. ‘Please, I’m your soulmate, please.’

And then his head moved up, searching, and he found Isak’s eyes. Isak watched him as the cigarette dropped from his soulmate’s fingers and he reached out for something to hold on to, the arm of the person standing next to him. And then he was slipping, falling down in slow motion, and Isak broke eye contact and set into motion, rushing to find the door that led to the outside area.

His hand touched the door handle, ready to push it open, but that was when Jonas found him. “Isak! Isak, we have to go, come on!” Jonas grabbed his wrist and started tugging, but Isak broke free, “Jonas, I found him, he’s here!”

Jonas probably did not register those words, but if he did then it was not important enough to comment on. “They found Magnus, we need to go before we get into some serious shit,” Jonas explained as he kept pulling on him and Isak budged, giving in and following Jonas.

They ran for the door and did not stop until they were two blocks away. Isak tried to catch his breath while Jonas got out his phone and started making calls. Mahdi had managed to get Magnus out of there and it was barely two minutes later when they were all reunited.

Isak wished he could feel bad about this, about almost getting caught, but he was jumping up in the air in excitement, “guys, I fucking found him. He is in Oslo, he must go to Elvebakken. I saw him and he saw me too this time!”

Although Magnus had been the one closest to getting caught, he was the first one to match his smile, “dude. Dude! You found him!? Fuck yes!” Magnus high fived him and jumped along with him. Isak laughed and let Magnus pull him in a hug. “We can go back next week or something, find him and then you can live happily ever after.”

---

Isak felt restless now he knew where to find his soulmate. He just wanted to go there and find him already, but he had to survive Sunday and Monday at school first before he could go and look for him. But he kept thinking and kept dreaming of his soulmate too.

He dreamt of himself getting to him in time, helping him up from where he had collapsed on the floor and tearing off the mask so they could really look at each other. Or he dreamt of their eyes locking in the middle of the dancefloor and them pushing at bodies to get to each other.

It was a little embarrassing to admit, but he had imagined their first kiss in so many ways already that he was sure that no matter how it would happen, he would have imagined it once already. He did not recognise himself anymore, but he did not mind it either. This was his soulmate he was talking about, he had a right to be sappy.

He knew it would be worth the wait, that them finally meeting would be the most special moment of his life. At least he hoped it would be. Because it was supposed to be. After all he did not even know this guy yet, did not know what he was like and how he would respond to Isak being his soulmate. Maybe he was not ready to be with a guy and he wanted more time to come to terms with them being soulmates. He would understand that. Isak had needed the same.

However, if that was the case then Isak did not know what to do anymore. He worried it would break his heart if his soulmate refused him, but he decided to think happy thoughts and to stay positive instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong. He had to be patient, he had to wait until Monday afternoon.

---

On Monday afternoon Isak went to Elvebakken, staying out in the yard for a few hours. He was wearing his hood to hide his face a little, not wanting anyone to recognise him. He assumed that not that many people knew him, but it would only take one to rat him out. He kept his eyes on the door of the entrance, watching everyone go in and go out, trying not to think bad thoughts again.

Maybe he was out already, done for the day, or maybe he was ill. Maybe he had hurt himself that Friday night when he fell down after seeing Isak. Or maybe he had decided to skip today to hang out with friends. Of course, there were plenty of reasons why he could be out, but maybe Isak would finally be lucky again.

Isak sat there for two hours, headphones in as he listened to his music with his eyes on the door at all times, but nothing happened. There was no increased heartbeat, no black and white popping up in his vision. He had to go home feeling less sure of his case than he had done before.

Maybe he did not go to Elvebakken after all and had he sneaked in the same way Isak had done with his friends. Shit, he had never even thought of it like that. But he did not want to give up so easily. He had to go back the day after and the day after that as well. He would go back all week if he had to, to see if he had returned.

But he had not. On Friday afternoon Isak usually did not do anything at all, reserved that time for chilling, but now he sat in front of Elvebakken’s entrance again, at the same spot he had sat at all week long, but still he did not see him. His soulmate had decided not to show up all week.

It brought him down so much that he sent his friends a text that he was staying home that night, not wanting to go out and party when he did not feel like it. He wanted to take some time to pity himself and curl up on his bed with his laptop.

So instead of going to a party he went home and put on comfortable sweatpants before he crawled into bed with his laptop. He was scrolling through a list of movies, unsure of what he felt would cheer him up, when he started feeling dizzy. It happened so suddenly and Isak did not know what he had done that could make him dizzy. He had eaten plenty.

But then the colours were starting to fade, dying out into black and white, while no one was near. And that was not got. He felt instant worry back inside his body, the way it had been the first time he had experienced this. This time though, it was not just black and white that were fuzzy, but everything else was draining too. Everything was fading, as if Isak was losing consciousness. And that was worrisome.

He rolled out of bed and hoped that walking some would make it fade. What was he doing, the boy, what was going on? How could he deal with this? How could Isak fix it? Because he had to do something about this. He had to. He would not be able to live with himself if he let his soulmate hurt himself, especially not now that he knew him. Well, in a way he knew him.

Isak put on his shoes and his coat, wrapping a scarf around his neck on the way out, and got on his bike. It was dark outside and Isak hated going cycling in the dark, but he had a reason now. He did not know where he was going, but he had to try something, anything.

His first thought was to go to Elvebakken, but he knew the school was closed now. So where else could he search? Where could he possibly find his soulmate? Oh, of course…

Bislett.

It was a long shot, but it was his only shot. His soulmate had gotten off at Bislett. The only place where he knew to look for him was there. If he was not there then at least Isak had done everything in his power to find him and fix the way his vision had clouded over.

He had to focus on his breathing in order to keep cycling straight, feeling almost like he was drunk and had to cycle home with too much alcohol in his body. It was a difficult task and in those cases he had always ended up walking most of the route. Not this time, he refused to do that this time.

When he got to Bislett he felt some of the hope and determination he had disappear, because the street was deserted. Isak drove around for a bit, trying to see if he could see anyone, before he parked his bike near the park. He spotted one of his flyers on the tree he parked his bike against and he ripped it off and folded it before putting it in his pocket. Maybe he could use it.

Isak started walking towards the park, forcing himself to ask every person he passed, although there were not many, if they had seen someone with that description, but all of them shook their heads. Things were looking gloomier by the minute and his vision was not changing either. It was the first time he felt this desperate to see his soulmate again, to finally introduce himself and make sure next time they would not have to search for each other anymore. Next time Isak would not have to deal with this uncertainty again.

The park was almost deserted, just a few people walking their dogs along with a couple walking hand in hand. None of them had seen his soulmate, or well, more like they did not recognise the description he gave them. He sighed as he walked on, seeing his next target, someone sitting on a bench further away, smoking a cigarette.

But Isak did not need to come closer, because one glance was enough. His world shifted into place as he watched the hooded figure that sat on the bench, his feet on the part you were supposed to sit on while he was sitting on the back rest. Isak could not believe he had actually found him.

He walked up closer, holding the paper in his hands and his voice trembled as he spoke up, “h- hi. I’m looking for my soulmate.” Out of all first things he could have said… but Isak did not want to think of how stupid it was now. He swallowed and handed him the paper when his soulmate kept silent.

Isak clenched his hands into fists as his soulmate took it, but he did not look up either. He looked at the paper for a long time and then finally lifted his head to meet Isak’s eyes. Like the week before, at that party, the world felt like it had stopped. Like nothing existed for a moment outside of them, outside of their little bubble.

And Isak felt overwhelmed, truly overwhelmed, as if his whole life was rearranging itself while he stared into his soulmate’s eyes. And his soulmate stared back this time without losing the gaze and without his eyes slipping closed before his body collapsed in on itself. Maybe it was good he was seated, or maybe he had gotten used to the idea of Isak being his soulmate now.

“Hi,” The boy said, his voice low and it broke as he spoke, as if he had not used it in quite some time. Isak already fell in love with that voice, loved how it made shivers run down his spine. He sucked on his lower lip and played with his coat as he tried to interpret the situation. What were they supposed to do now? Shake hands? Kiss? Fuck, he had no clue. He did not even know his name yet.

“Hi, I’m Isak. I’ve- I’ve been looking for you,” He decided to explain himself first, explain everything that had happened, “you saw me, right? At the masquerade?” He waited for an answer, but his soulmate only nodded. Isak watched his posture, the way he was bent over on that bench, still holding the cigarette. His appearance looked dark and gloomy, matching the way Isak had felt the previous hour or so.

“I was scared you were dying,” He said quietly, but it worked, because his soulmate looked up again, staring at him intently as if he wanted to ask why. He did not laugh the way Isak had hoped he would, a way to break the tension between Isak’s shoulders and so it stayed there. “I kept seeing black and white at times. When that happens it is either your soulmate in danger or your soulmate dying. It was so bad tonight that I came out looking for you the only place where I knew you could possibly be.”

His soulmate started bouncing his leg, flicking the cigarette as he did so, and he brought up his free hand to cover his mouth and chin. He looked away, trying to hide his expression, but Isak would not let him. He climbed up next to him, sitting down on the backrest with him and taking the cigarette from his soulmate’s fingers. Their fingers touched and sparks ignited, but Isak did not comment on it.

They belonged together, yet his soulmate was so desperately trying to hide from him. Isak could not handle it any longer, so he begged. He actually begged him, “please. I have been looking for you for weeks.” He tugged at his soulmate’s sleeve, trying to get his attention. He saw his shoulders shake and he heard a loud sniff, or well, more like a sob.

His soulmate turned to him, not pausing to really look at him, and Isak only saw the tears streaming down his face for a moment before two arms were wrapped around him. When Isak did not break away the arms pulled him closer, squeezing him tighter, and it surprised Isak. It surprised him because his soulmate had appeared so closed off, so distant, but now they were together he was letting down his guard some.  Isak did not hesitate before returning the hug, holding on so tightly his hands hurt.

No words were spoken, but Isak knew now that they would follow later. This was acceptance, this hug was his soulmate’s way of letting him in and showing him their connection was real. Although Isak did not know yet what was wrong with his soulmate, he now felt like he had a chance at figuring out what was going on. This was no longer a search to physically find him, it was a search to connect to him mentally. He had found the treasure and now he had to figure out how to open the lock to discover what was inside.

“Isak,” The name drifted into his ear and it made another set of shivers run down Isak’s spine. Such a beautiful voice speaking his name. Isak’s eyes fell shut as he squeezed the boy in his arms once more while telling him it was okay, that he was there now.

“I’m Even,” The words were softer than before, still whispered into the shell of his ear, but Isak could still make them out. They were real, this was real, and now his soulmate had a name. Even.

Isak and Even.

Their arms were still around each other and Isak did not really want to move, but he felt like they needed to go somewhere better and more comfortable to talk, somewhere warmer and more private than the park.

“Come on, let me take you home. You are cold,” Isak suggested, but Even shook his head at that and whispered, “I do not want to go home.” Isak had so many questions to ask, starting with why he did not want to go home, but he knew they would have to wait. “Alright,” He hummed, “then I am taking you back to mine.” He stood up when Even let him out of the embrace and as he came up in front of Even he held out both of his hands for him to take. They were soulmates, nothing was weird about this. It was meant to be.

He held Even’s hand as they walked back to Isak’s bike slowly. “Green is a beautiful colour,” Even mumbled as they walked past the trees, mostly in silence. And Isak wished they did not have more important things to discuss so that they could just focus on the easy stuff. Like the colour green. But Isak knew something was wrong and he had to know what it was.

Isak got on his bike first and he helped Even sit, his long legs making it hard for him to hold on, but his arms came up around Isak’s waist and whenever he would feel the hold tighten, Isak knew he had to stop for a moment to let him settle again.

“You do not go to Elvebakken,” Even stated halfway down the street, “I checked the whole school.” The fact that Even had searched for him made him feel warm inside, he could not hide his smile. So he had left an impression too.

“I thought you were not there all week. I waited there every day,” He replied, admitting to his own stalking, and Even was quiet for a moment. Then he gave an explanation, one Isak realised had taken some guts to admit to, although he did not know why, “I was there on Monday, but not the rest of the week, no.”

Isak felt like it was tied to the story as to why Even had been in that park all by himself so late at night, scaring Isak to death with his darkening sight, the fading of all colours. So he did not ask why he had not been there after Monday. Even would tell him eventually. They had time after all; they had forever.

It was another two streets before Even spoke up again and Isak could tell how they were both starting to feel more comfortable around each other already. “You put up flyers for me?” He asked, disbelief in his voice, and Isak could not help but snort, “Uhm, yeah, well it was not my idea. My friends did it. I thought it was ridiculous, because I only had so few things to go by, but they said I had to at least try.”

Even pressed his face against Isak’s back and Isak wished he could see him, could see what was going through his head and what would show on his face as he heard all of this, of Isak’s search for him. “We crashed so many parties trying to find you. And when I finally did find you, we got caught and had to leave. Karma was not on our side.”

“You could say that,” Even hummed in return and a comfortable silence fell around them again. Isak tried to get them home as soon as possible, because he was afraid he would not be able to hold his questions much longer. He forced himself to stick to easy questions, “why were you at that park? Do you live in the neighbourhood?”

Even did not move or let on anything about his feelings, which sucked. It made Isak cycle faster, because the sooner they were home the sooner he could look at Even while he talked. He wanted to catch every emotion that would flicker on his face.

“No, although it is not that far away either. I like that park, it is usually quiet when I go there,” Even explained, “I was on my way there the night you saw me. When I do not go out with friends that is my hang out spot. Makes my thoughts run easier, makes it easier to breathe too.”

Isak wondered what he needed to clear his mind from that he would go to that park with a clear purpose. It was killing him not to know how serious this was. It scared him too, because what if his soulmate would say, ‘I have an illness and I am dying’? What would Isak do? How could he live with that knowledge?

He slowed down as he got to his street, stopping next to the pavement, “we are here.” He decided not to comment on Even’s words yet because he did not want to roll from this simple question into more complicated things.

Even climbed off the bike, his hand lingering on Isak’s back, and Isak checked to see if he had gotten off. Even was standing next to him, looking at his face and not giving him any time to get off himself. Instead Even made him look at him.

“You seem like a very kind-hearted guy, Isak,” Even told him, a soft smile on his face. Isak realised it was the first smile he had seen on his soulmate’s face and it was stunning. He instantly made it his life goal to make that smile linger for all eternity. The world looked much brighter with Even’s smile in it. God, that was sappy.

Isak returned the smile and cleared his throat, “thanks? I really hope you still think the same after you get to know me.” Even chuckled and averted his eyes for a moment, “I guess I could say the same. I will be surprised if you want to stay with me after you get to know me.”

And those words, Isak told himself, he never wanted to hear again. He would never forgive himself if he ever heard Even say those words again. “Do not say that,” He warned, taking a leap of faith and reaching out for Even’s hand, “we are soulmates for a reason, okay? Everyone has issues, but we will work through them. You are no longer Even and I am no longer Isak, we are now Isak and Even. Together.”

Even seemed to need a moment to let the words settle, to accept them as the truth, but then Isak could see him swallow and there was such intensity in his eyes that Isak worried he would start crying again. However, completely the opposite happened.

Even did not cry or crawl back into his shell, instead he came out. He stood up straighter, held Isak’s hand a little tighter and then his lips were pressed against Isak’s. Even dived in without any doubt on his face and kissed Isak urgently.

Isak was reminded of the fairy tales his mother used to read to him when he was younger. Those bedtime stories that would make him dream of being so in love it was all-consuming. And now he was living one of those fairy tales himself. Even had blindly put his trust in Isak, handing over his everything as if the confirmation of them being soulmates was enough to do so.

Like in fairy tales things seemed to have happened overnight, their first kiss happening not even an hour after their first meeting. And just as in fairy tales, they had not questioned their love either. Becaue that was the beauty of fairy tales: love at first sight. And for them, seeing everything at once, all the colours of the world, it truly felt like that. It truly felt like this was their own fairy tale in the making.

Isak and Even: everything at once.