Archive of Our Own

I knew that people were talking about me behind my back. I knew why, too.

I just thought it would calm down after three years.

I never wanted to have an affair with Alexander Hamilton, not at first. I knew perfectly well he had the best of wives by his side and I knew the important role he had at work. And yet, when I went to him for some honest, innocent help, I lost all common sense, and he lost his. We had an affair for over six months, he was hiding from his wife, I from my husband. My mean, cruel-spirited James, whose true nature was only revealed to me once I became Mrs Maria Reynolds. He beat me, cheated constantly, and I felt completely at loss, so I took one man's decency to me and made it out to be genuine affection in my mind.

When someone suspected him of corruption of some kind Alexander wrote a pamphlet explaining the details of our affair months after it had ended. Needless to say that ruined my life, but his was destroyed. All I got out of it was a divorce and the reputation of being a whore. He got a divorce, he lost his job, the respect of whatever family he had left and everything he'd ever worked for was vain.

But that was three years ago, I was sure it would've cooled by now.

It might seem stupid, but all I want is a soulmate. I haven't dated since my divorce, for obvious reasons, but maybe if I met my soulmate, they wouldn't judge me and maybe, just maybe, I could be almost happy again.

Last week I met a kind woman in the grocery shop, and as if she had known me all my life and knew what my desires, she gave me a piece of paper that looked like an old grocery list.

“Follow the instructions on this paper, it could help you, dear.” and she walked away with her trolley full of food, humming a Disney tune. I decided to trust this woman, she was humming “One Day My Prince Will Come” from Snow White, for god's sake.

So I looked at the list and the title was “Summon your soulmate”, complete with a list of ingredients and instructions. I chuckled. What harm could come from trying?

The instructions suggested to do it on a Friday with a clear, visible moon, which seemed to be the predictions, coincidentally, for Valentine's Day. What an interesting coincidence.

I went to a little shop near my apartment that sold what you could call mystic objects and bought all the necessary ingredients: vanilla incense sticks, pheromones (which I had no idea they sold or how), some sandalwood essential oil and some red and white candles. The other ingredient was fresh rose petals but I could get those at work from one of our own the same day.

On Valentine's Day the shop was very busy, obviously, so I got home quite late. When I did I dimmed the lights in the living room and played my favourite “soothing music” playlist. I carefully lit one vanilla incense stick and placed it in a plate in the nook under my living room window. I hope I don't set fire to the whole complex just because I wanted to get some on Valentine's Day, I muttered to myself. The smell was pleasant. So I continued with the instructions. I put some petals from a fresh rose I picked up from work in a bowl, adding more every second so I had ended up putting more than half of the rose in it, dropped in some pheromones, then I set it aside. Well, more can only increase the chances right? Finally, I spread some sandalwood oil on the red candle from the middle to the top then middle to bottom as instructed.

I lit the candle and closed my eyes, trying to focus on it, begging it to help me.

I breathed in. One, two, three, four, five .

Then I breathed out. One, two, three, four, five .

I then held the red candle in my left hand and the white candle in my right, making it go around the red one like the Earth around the Sun as I chanted three times:
Hear my call, true love of mine
I yearn for thee,
Come to my side and make me whole
I beckon thee.

Then I stopped and touched the white and red candles to light the white one. I then set them in golden holders waiting for them to burn out. I took advantage of this time to take a relaxing bath with the mix of roses and pheromones from before. It was a nice sensation, I'd almost forgotten how sweet a rose's perfume is.

I got dry and dressed nicely.

Then as the white candle blew out, there was a gush of wind that opened the window and made the curtains dance around. A figure in the darkness had been brought onto the sofa. It was definitely a female. What do you know, I really am gay, I thought. Oh my god it actually worked?

“H-hello? W-where am I?” the shadow whispered.

I turned on the lights. “Hi, you're in my house so don't worry, I'm-”

My blood ran cold with fright. The jet black hair and the gorgeous dark eyes. This was Eliza Hamilton. As in, the woman Alexander cheated on with me, the woman who divorced him because of me, the woman who was all alone with six children because of me. What kind of fucked up joke is this?

She seemed to recognise me too.

“Mrs Maria Reynolds, I take it?” she asked. I would've expected some kind of lashing in anger, but she was doing no such thing. She's perfect, what the hell was Alexander thinking?

“Uhm, Miss Maria Reynolds.” I muttered looking at my shoes.
“Oh, right, my apologies.” Her apologies? HER apologies? What the hell should I say for myself then?

I couldn't take it any more. I sank to the floor in tears, spluttering some begging for forgiveness when I knew perfectly she would never accept them.

I felt arms around me.

It was her.

She was comforting me. Me . The bitch who stole her life. Why?

“Hey, hey, it's OK, you're OK, you're alive and well, you're getting through it, yes?” she was whispering this and different things like it over and over again.

“I'm... I'm s-so... I'm so s-so... sorry... I...” I kept mumbling through the tears, and all she did was say soothing things.

After about ten minutes of this I was a little curious and a little calmer. It's lovely in her arms, how could Alexander leave her?

“Why are you so calm with me? I'm... I'm the reason you're divorced...”

“We all have our reasons for everything we do. I heard you weren't in the best conditions when it all happened. Would you tell me about it?” she looked so genuinely curious that I let it all out.

Everything.

The courtship with James, being James's beaten up bride for three years, Alexander's kindness which went overboard, everything.

I'd gotten a little more confident as the story progressed, and she was vastly interested. This was better than any psychologist I'd ever been recommended to. She is such an amazing person, I don't deserve to be treated this well, especially not by her.

At the end of it she pulled me into a hug, which I lightly accepted, still ashamed out of my guts.

“You know, I never hated you. Not really. Everyone expected me to. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I hated what you'd done, but never you. I still can't. And now that I've heard your side of it I know I could never hate you.” she murmured into my shoulder.

I was still speechless when she looked at me with her beautiful, gorgeous, magnificent black eyes.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” I said, hiding from her gaze by leaning onto her shoulder.

“A few moments before I came here I was at home with my children and my sister. Then I was suddenly here. Would you happen to know why?”

I felt myself going red.

“I, uhm, maybe?”

She raised one beautifully arched eyebrow.

“Care to explain?”

I gulped. “You won't believe this, you really won't.”

“I can try” she smiled with an encouraging tone.

I sighed. “W-well, this is embarrassing to explain, but, uh, I... I kind of tried out a spell to, um, summon, ah, my... soulmate?”

When I looked at her again she looked confused. I couldn't blame her.

“I'm, uh... I just... soulmate?” she said softly.

“I was lonely and in the mood for a joke.” I laughed nervously. “I didn't think it would actually work. I'm sorry.”

Eliza looked at me, really looked at me, as if she hadn't really realised who she was talking to this whole time. Her head tilted slightly, her eyebrows were lightly raised and her eyes were somewhat wider, like a toddler who had just learnt a new concept.

“Soulmate, huh?” she commented.

Unexpectedly she reached for my hair and stroked it, gently patting it as though it were the most precious thing she owned. I felt my face going red, but that only served to apparently make me look even more endearing, because she reached her other hand to my hair and got closer.

I do not know what came over me but my hands went towards her cheeks and I held her like that for a while.

“You were going to allow a potion determine your life partner?” she giggled.

“W-well, it, uh... did it work?” I stammered. “Did it work?” How stupid am I?? Jeez!

Eliza smiled. “Let's find out.”

She stood up and made me do the same by grabbing my hands and pulling me up, then she let go of one to open the door.

“Lock up! We're going out!”

“Out? Where?” I laughed

“I don't know, let's make it up as we go along!”

As she stepped out of the door of the complex the bitter February night air reminded her she didn't have a jacket, since she had sort of appeared from nowhere in indoor clothes to my apartment.

“Here, have this.” I gave her one of mine I'd brought down with me.

“Right, thanks” she smiled.

And off we were.

We went to the museum, then admired the closed book store because you could see a lot of the titles from the glass.

When we got to the park she sat on a bench, breathing heavily from the rush. I was too, and we both enjoyed the view of it from our seat.

The park was always beautiful, but somehow the light of the visible moon and the lamps made it even more so, mystical even. The mini lake especially seemed to glow of a pretty light that was hard to find in the day time. Towering over the lake was a beautiful water pine. Not too far from the pine lay a bed of white calla lilies. I noticed Eliza gazing at them and I encouraged her to walk towards them. She knelt beside them and sniffed them, still hugging herself from the cold.

“These are my favourite flowers... I just don't know the name...” Eliza chuckled, with the tone of someone caught in their stupidity.

“These are Calla Lilies, and don't worry, no one ever does. That's special knowledge reserved to flower nerds like me.” I grinned.

“They're lilies?”

“Funnily enough, not really, they're just called that for some strange reason. They're actually related to jack-in-the-pulpits, those plants down there. Also, they're kind of poisonous, so if you do get them...”

Am I really going to go all flower nerd on her?

At this point I realised she had her head on my shoulder, listening to my passionate nerdy rant.

“Mhmm, won't you tell me more?”

I smiled.

Well I suppose I am.