Chapter Text
“Iwa-chan look! That star is moving across the sky! It must be aliens!”
Iwaizumi, who had his eyes focused on the sidewalk in front of him, lost in thought, looks over at Oikawa who is pointing up at the night sky, eyes wide in wonder.
“It’s probably a satellite or the International Space Station, dumbass,” Iwaizumi says, but still he looks up to try and spot the moving speck of light among the stars. It’s not hard to find with there being so few stars thanks to all the light pollution caused by the town, and it’s as bright as a planet (the fact that he even knows that proves that he’s spent way too much time stargazing, or ‘searching for aliens’ as that idiot put it, with Oikawa).
“No, it can’t be the ISS. My app says it’s over America right now,” Oikawa explains, showing his phone’s way too bright screen to Iwaizumi who has to squint to try to read it.
“That doesn’t mean it’s not one of the hundreds of satellites out there.”
“Iwa-chan, this may be the one time we ever see aliens passing by in our sky, and you’re just going to pass it off as any old satellite? I’m disappointed.”
“Well what do you want me to do? Make a wish?” Iwaizumi says incredulously.
“Yes! Let’s do that!” Iwaizumi looks over at his friend, contorting his face into his best expression of ‘are you serious right now,’ but finds that Oikawa has his eyes closed and has stopped walking so that he can concentrate. “You can’t be serious.”
“Iwa-chan, I don’t mess around when it comes to aliens. Now make a wish before the light disappears.”
“You’re ridiculous,” but seeing that Oikawa has halted and would likely whine until Iwaizumi did what he wanted, Iwaizumi closes his eye and sighs, thinking about what he wants to wish for.
Oh my god this is fucking ridiculous, but if I’m going to do this I might as well go all out, Iwaizumi argues in his head. His thoughts bounce around for a minute, as he tries to think of something worth wishing for. World peace? Nah, that’s too cliché, although that is something he truly wants. Maybe he should wish for his parents to let him get a bearded dragon like he’s always wanted, but he’s going to college in just a couple of months, so that also is a waste of his wish.
He’s about to settle on wishing to win the lottery (what? Can you blame him?) when he thinks of a wish that is perfect to make on an alien space ship, since it involves his alien-loving best friend. This is the perfect wish, he tells himself, because it can help him get one step closer to getting over his stupid crush by coming to terms with the fact that the odds of it working out are close to the probability that he’ll win the lottery.
I’m tired of Oikawa seeing me as just a friend, but I’m too afraid to confess to him because I know he doesn’t see guys that way… I wish that Oikawa would look at me the same way he looks at beautiful girls; like he wants to fall in love with them.
Iwaizumi can’t help but let out a pitiful snort at his own wish. How pathetic. He opens his eyes and finds Oikawa’s eyes on him, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Oh, sorry, was I taking too long?”
“No,” Oikawa mutters, turning away and starting to walk again, Iwaizumi quickly catches up and falls into pace beside him.
Iwaizumi thinks about all the homework he still needs to get done tonight before the start of the school week tomorrow, feeling just the smallest hint of regret about allowing Oikawa to convince him to keep practicing volleyball well into the evening. His thoughts are cut off by Oikawa asking, “So what did you wish for?”
“Huh?” Iwaizumi responds, looking over at his friend in confusion, already having half forgotten that entire ordeal. “Wait, I can’t tell you, that means it won’t come true.”
“Iwa-chan, you’re the one who said it wasn’t even real aliens,” Oikawa complains, and then adds under his breath, “you nonbeliever,” as if it’s some dirty insult. Iwaizumi ignores that comment.
“Well, in the off chance that that was a real wish granting alien ship, I’m not telling.” Iwaizumi really doesn’t want to explain his wish to Oikawa, plus he’s bad at lying on the spot, especially to Oikawa.
“Iwa-chaaaan wished for something embarrassing~,” Oikawa sings.
“Shut up, shittykawa. Why don’t you tell me what you wished for then?” Iwaizumi says, glaring at Oikawa who suddenly turns his head away from him and towards the street.
“Nope. If you aren’t going to tell, I’m not either.”
The two continue walking, conversation steering away from that topic and towards the upcoming school week, and soon they are outside their adjacent homes. Iwaizumi is waving Oikawa goodbye when suddenly Oikawa grabs his wrist, stopping him from leaving. Iwaizumi looks down at the hand grabbing his wrist and then up at Oikawa, his head partially turned away from Iwaizumi, eyes focused on the ground and mouth open just a bit as if he’s got something on his mind that he wants to say.
Iwaizumi waits, but the silence is stretching, and just as he’s about to say something Oikawa takes in a sharp breath and says, “See you tomorrow, Iwa-chan!” releasing his wrist, turning and walking towards his own home in one smooth motion.
What the hell was that about? Whatever it was, Iwaizumi doesn’t have time to think about it now; he has a paper he needs to finish up. I’ll just ask that idiot about it tomorrow, something is clearly bothering him.
[]
Beep, beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEP.
Iwaizumi slams his hand down on the alarm, slowly opens his eyes and pushes a strand of hair out of his face, before feeling a shot of anxiety through his body when he reads the time: 7:30am. He overslept!
Iwaizumi jumps out of bed, not even noticing that his old Godzilla t-shirt and gray sweatpants don’t feel quite right on his body. Oikawa always texts him to make sure he is awake in time for school when his parents both leave on the business trips that they took from time to time. Since he hadn’t responded to those texts, Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa would be over any minute now. He might as well get halfway ready before Oikawa came and lectured him about being irresponsible (as if that idiot had any room to talk) for sleeping through his alarm.
As Iwaizumi walks down the hallway towards the bathroom, he hears from downstairs the front door unlocking. He’s not sure exactly how Oikawa managed to get a key to his house, but he’s pretty sure his mother gave him one, since she just loved Oikawa so much thanks to Oikawa always being such a ‘gentleman’ when he was around her. With no time to waste though, Iwaizumi decides rather than greeting Oikawa to go brush his teeth and give his face a quick rinse.
Once he’s in the bathroom, Iwaizumi turns to look in the mirror and when he sees an unfamiliar girl staring back at him he nearly jumps out of his skin. He’s so startled that he proceeds to trip on the bathroom rug and falls hard on his ass, making a loud thud. He quickly turns his head behind him to see if there is anyone there, but finds the bathroom empty. From downstairs, he hears Oikawa call up to him to be careful and hurry up, and that he’s going to grab one of the milk breads Iwaizumi’s mom always kept stocked for him.
Concluding that he is the only person in the bathroom, Iwaizumi slowly gets back up so that he can take another look in the mirror. The shock he feels the second time when he sees a girl staring back at him is almost as strong as the first, but by finding that her movements match his own he starts to realize his situation.
“What the actual fuck,” he says out loud to himself, finding his voice far too high in pitch to be his own. He raises a hand to his throat, to where his Adam’s apple should be, and the girl in the mirror mocks the movement to his disbelief. Taking in his new appearance, he finds that his once short dark brown hair now lays a couple inches down past his shoulders. His face seems mostly similar to how he remembers it, but his eyes look a little bigger maybe, and he thinks his eyelashes are slightly longer and darker but he’s not really sure. He never really took the time to just stare at himself in the past like this, never caring too much about his appearance, especially since he knew that there nothing he could do to get his idiot best friend that he was unfortunately in love with to think of him the same way Iwaizumi thought of him.
Having finished looking over his face, his eyes begin to move downward. How did I not notice these right away? Iwaizumi puts his hands on his breasts, patting them and then cupping them. He had never been interested in girls’ bodies in any sort of fashion, but curiosity took over him for a moment. After realizing what he was doing he felt embarrassment wash over him and he pulled his hands away.
Iwaizumi is just about to start patting his sweatpants where his dick should be when the bathroom door swings open.
“Iwa-chan, how dare you not text me back that you’re awake. I actually worried that you slept past your alarm and had to rush to finish getting ready so that I could come check-,” Oikawa’s words falter when he looks at Iwaizumi. “Who the hell are you?”
“I mean-, sorry, excuse my language, and pardon my intrusion!” Oikawa sputters, face lighting up in embarrassment, but before he can fully turn and leave the bathroom, Iwaizumi grabs his arm.
“Shittykawa, I don’t know how you fucking did this, but I know this is somehow one hundred percent your fault and you’re going to help me fix it.”
Oikawa slowly turns his head back around until he’s facing Iwaizumi, looking him (her?) up and down.
“Iwa-chan?”
[]
Oikawa likes to think he is an adaptable person. No matter what crowd he is surrounded by, he can quickly adapt his personality and get everyone to like him. When presented with a new team of opponents during a tournament, he quickly learns their strengths and weaknesses and adapts accordingly. Each year when a new set of underclassmen join the volleyball team, Oikawa is able to adapt his setting to bring out the best in each of the new spikers.
But when he walked into the bathroom and saw a girl when he was expecting to see Iwaizumi, Oikawa found that he was unable to adapt to the situation quite as quickly as he would have liked.
“Iwa-chan?” he asks in a quiet voice, the hand grabbing his arm feeling foreign, but the gray-green eyes he is staring into familiar. He had been munching on a milk bread he found in the kitchen downstairs, and nearly drops it.
“Shit, Oikawa, I don’t know how this happened, but seriously, it’s me,” the girl pleads. She has long, messy dark brown hair, the same shade as Iwaizumi’s. Her facials structure is sharp, but slightly softer than Iwaizumi’s, but so similar that this girl could be Iwaizumi’s twin. She’s wearing the Godzilla tee and gray sweatpants that Iwaizumi wears to bed. Everything about her screams that she very well could be Iwaizumi.
“Uhhhh,” is the intelligent word that leaves Oikawa’s mouth next, eyes still darting around to take in the girl in front of him. “But, how?” is all he can think to ask. This whole situation is just too bizarre for Oikawa to process, but the girl in front of him does share a striking resemblance to Iwaizumi, and Oikawa is 99.9% sure that Iwaizumi doesn’t have any siblings he didn’t know about, although he might have cousins.
“I don’t know, but I’m sort of freaking out,” the girl says, eyes widening in fear. “How the hell am I supposed to play volleyball. How am I going to explain this to my parents, or friends? How-“
“Iwa-chan, calm down,” Oikawa says, and then he does his best to give the girl a reassuring smile, although he’s still not convinced that this girl is really his best friend. That’s impossible, isn’t it? This has to be some sort of elaborate joke. Iwaizumi is going to appear from around the corner any minute now and introduce his relative, and all three of them will laugh at the prank.
“You don’t believe me,” the girl states, expression flat, eyes looking past Oikawa’s own and invading his mind. There is only one person who could read past his smiles that easily.
She looks down at her fingers and points them up one at a time as she names off events. “In 3rd grade you cried when I put a bug on your head. In 5th grade, you cried because you thought aliens were going to come and abduct you after we watched that dumb scary alien movie, I think it was called Altered. In our first year of middle school, you cried after our first day of volleyball practice because-“
“Iwa-chan! I thought we agreed to never bring any of those up again!” Oikawa whines. He raises his hand to cover his mouth as he mutters, “holy shit, what the hell happened to you Iwa-chan?”
“I don’t know! Didn’t we already establish that?” Iwaizumi turns back to staring at her reflection in the mirror, eyes holding a mix of curiosity and fear.
Of the two of them, it is always Iwaizumi who is the one who stays calm during tough situations and makes sure to knock some sense back into Oikawa so that he doesn’t succumb to his anxieties and doubts. But today Oikawa knows that he is going to have to be the calm and collected one, because this situation is too much for Iwaizumi to handle on her own, and Oikawa doesn’t blame her.
“Come on Iwa-chan, we’re going to my house. My sister keeps a lot of her old clothes at home and my parents haven’t had the heart to get rid of her stuff yet. She’s got to have something you can wear, and then we are going to school.”
“Wait, what?” Iwaizumi says in response. “But, what are we going to say to the teachers? To our friends? Oikawa-“
Oikawa is already dragging Iwaizumi out of the bathroom, grabbing onto the hand that had let go of his arm at some point. They are going to be late at this rate, but Oikawa’s racing thoughts start forming a plan of attack and he thinks that skipping their first class might be their best option. “We’ll figure something out, come on.”
Once he knows that Iwaizumi is going to follow him, he let’s go of her arm and they leave the Iwaizumi residence and quickly walk over to Oikawa’s home. Luckily Oikawa’s parents have already left for work for the day, so the two are able to walk into the house without having to answer any questions. They walk up the stairs and enter Oikawa’s sister’s old room, long abandoned ever since she began her own family years ago.
Oikawa starts digging through her dresser, but then turns to stare at Iwaizumi so he can figure out exactly what it is he needs. The Godzilla T-shirt she’s wearing does a poor job of hiding the fact that she’s not wearing a bra, but Oikawa’s about to fix that, that is until Iwaizumi covers her chest.
“Dude can you stop staring, that’s so creepy,” Iwaizumi says, disgusted, and hugging her chest. If he wasn’t sure before, Oikawa’s completely sure now that the person in front of him truly is his best friend.
“I’m not trying to be creepy, Iwa-chan. You clearly need a bra,” Oikawa states matter-of-factly.
“I hate this. How the hell did this happen,” Iwaizumi mutters, but lowers her arms. Oikawa only looks for a second longer before turning back to the clothes in front of him and digs around until he finds the size he thinks will fit. He also picks out a pair of cute matching pink underwear, but thinks better of it and only throws the bra Iwaizumi’s way.
“Put that on, I’m going to keep looking for her old uniform, it should fit you fairly well. Better than the guys’ uniform at least.” He pulls open another drawer in the dresser and continues to search, until he sees a familiar royal purple and black uniform.
“Didn’t your sister attend that boarding school in Tokyo?” Iwaizumi asks, before turning around and taking off her T-shirt. Oikawa is NOT going to turn around. Why did Iwaizumi have to be such an idiot sometimes?
“Yeah she did, but we are going to use that fact to our advantage,” Oikawa explains. He’ll delve deeper into his plan on their way to school he decides since time is a limited resource and Iwaizumi was the type who needed to focus on one task at a time, that currently being getting dressed in her new body.
“Shit, Oikawa, I don’t know how to put this on,” Iwaizumi groans, partially turning back towards Oikawa who had looked at her when she said his name, which exposes just a bit too much of the bare upper half of her body in the process. Realizing her mistake, Iwaizumi quickly turns away again, but Oikawa catches the blush on the tips of her ears from embarrassment, and can feel one crawling up his neck that he can’t stop, his buried crush rising to the surface in an instance.
But in the next moment, he reburies it deep down where he lets most things he doesn’t want to deal with stew for unhealthily long periods of time, that is, until Iwaizumi made him confront them. But not this time, since Oikawa will do whatever it takes to keep his crush on his best friend hidden forever.
Without a word, Oikawa walks up behind Iwaizumi and takes the straps that latch in the back from her hands, clipping them together. “Now pull the straps over your shoulders,” he instructs gently.
“Thanks,” Iwaizumi says in a small voice, wiggling the bra up into place. “How do girls deal with this shit every day?”
“I don’t know,” Oikawa answers honestly. He hands Iwaizumi his sister’s old uniform, and Iwaizumi turns and walks out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom. “But this isn’t even the half of it, we need to do something with your hair.”
“Oh hell no.”
[]
After arguing with Oikawa for a solid five minutes, Iwaizumi gives up and lets Oikawa do what he wants with his hair. To his surprise, all Oikawa does is run a brush through it, say something about how healthy it is for ‘a brute like Iwa-chan,’ and then pulls it up into a high ponytail, leaving only Iwaizumi’s bangs loose. Iwaizumi is thankful that that’s the style Oikawa chose to do because he still can’t get used to the feeling of so much hair on his shoulders and neck.
But even without his hair bothering him, the feeling of wearing a skirt is beyond strange and something he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to. He feels so exposed, but also liberated. It’s like he isn’t wearing pants at all, which feels wrong, but also right.
The pair is borderline jogging to school, doing their best to look normal and not draw suspicion as they do so. After hearing Oikawa’s plan, Iwaizumi is freaking out slightly less than he was a half hour ago. Now his main worries are getting the plan to actually work, and, you know, figuring out how to turn back into a guy.
“So you really think we can just waltz into the principal’s office and say,” Iwaizumi does his best to mock Oikawa’s voice, an easier feat now that his own voice is much higher in pitch, “‘hey sorry for not giving a heads up, but this girl is going to shadow me and figure out if she wants to transfer to Seijoh or not. Oh, and Iwaizumi Hajime is conveniently absent today so she can follow me around to all my classes, right?’ which I already know you’re going to follow up with a stupid wink.” Iwaizumi takes a second to catch his breath before finishing, “and you think she’s just going to let us go to class then?”
“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa shakes his head and smiles. “Of course it’ll work. Do you know how many times I’ve convinced our principal to let the volleyball club have the big gym during our off season? She loves me, she’ll definitely let this slide for at least a couple of days which will buy us some time.”
“Huh, so that’s why the basketball club hates you. I thought it was because they figured out how annoying you actually are, but you were the reason why we always got their gym during their main season. You really are a demon.”
“Iwa-chan, so mean!” Iwaizumi smiles at how normal this conversation is despite the crazy circumstance he’s in. Thank god he has Oikawa on his side to go through this with. He glances at his friend and finds him staring at him. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s just weird talking to a girl like this, so casually, even when I know that girl is my violent and caveman-like best friend.”
Iwaizumi decides he’ll ignore the last part of that comment, but only because Oikawa is helping him out so much. “Yeah this is weird. I have no idea how this happened.” Iwaizumi starts to think back to the previous day, but it was just a normal day from what he can remember.
“We’ll figure that out later, for now, there’s a few more things we need to discuss,” Oikawa says. “First of all, your name is now Iwaizumi Haruhi.” Iwaizumi is about to argue with Oikawa about why he got to pick his new name, but decides it’s a waste of breath. “You are the cousin of Iwaizumi Hajime, and when someone comments that you look strikingly similar to your cousin, you are going to respond with ‘I get that a lot,’ capisce?”
Oikawa really thought this all out. “Uh, yeah, that makes sense. Are we going to say ‘Hajime’ is sick?”
Oikawa dramatically pulls his hands to his chests so that they rest over his heart and cries out, “My poor Iwa-chan caught a horrible case of explosive diarrhea. Only I am to visit him, for the sight would traumatize any soul who is not used to seeing something so disturbing. Luckily, or maybe the correct word is unfortunately, I grew up with him and have built a huge tolerance over time to such a sight, and will be able to get his homework to him. He will be at home until further notice.”
Iwaizumi smacks Oikawa hard in the back of the head for that little spiel, causing his friend to yelp. “Even as a girl, you’re still such a brute Iwa-chan.”
[]
The principal is looking Iwaizumi up and down and he does his best to not crack under the immense pressure of her gaze, keeping his smile steady and pleasant to the best of his abilities. Oikawa explained the lie they had agreed on to her in full, adding bits to the story to make the tale more believable, such as ‘Haruhi’s’ mother being sick and needing her daughter closer to home, and that she did not have any ID’s because her purse was stolen by a mugger when she was walking back home late last night.
The principal seems skeptical as she stares Iwaizumi down, but after returning her gaze back to Oikawa, she visibly relaxes. How does he have every female in the school wrapped around his finger?
“I will allow Iwaizumi-san to attend classes with you for a few days. But then I’m going to need her official transfer papers if she wishes to continue.”
“Thank you so much Sato-san! We promise we won’t cause any troubles during this trial period, you have my word.” Oikawa stands up from his chair and bows politely, Iwaizumi quickly getting up and doing the same and muttering a ‘thank you’ before following Oikawa outside the office.
Once they have put a little distance between them and the office, Oikawa whispers, “what did I tell you Iwa-chan. Aren’t you amazed at my ability to persuade people?”
“More like disgusted and creeped out,” Iwaizumi whispers back, but then adds, “but seriously, thanks. This way I won’t get behind in classes while I’m out ‘sick.’”
“Anything for you, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at that comment, but he can’t stop the smile that’s forming on his lips.
Luckily, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are in the same class this year, so Iwaizumi is going to ‘shadow’ Oikawa by sitting in his normal seat in class. Facing his classmates as a girl, however, worries Iwaizumi. What if they figure it out? That he’s not some random cousin, but Hajime himself? Would they tell the police, the government? Would they-
“Iwa-chan, frowning that hard is going to give you away.” Iwaizumi flinches at Oikawa’s words, quickly neutralizing his expression.
“Shit, thanks for catching that.”
“Iwa-chan, girls don’t swear as much as you do either. Honestly, are you going to make it through the day?” Oikawa’s voice is teasing, but that doesn’t stop Iwaizumi’s insecurities from coming to the surface.
“Fuck, I don’t know, should I just not talk? What if someone figures it out? Hanamaki and Matsukawa will figure it out so fast, what if they tell someone?”
“Iwa-chan, take a deep breath.” Iwaizumi can’t believe he actually listens to his friend’s command, but he does find that a deep breath calms him a bit. “We’re in this together. Don’t worry, I’ll cover any mistakes you make.”
“Okay, yeah, you’re right. Who would honestly believe that I magically turned into a girl,” Iwaizumi says with a sarcastic, bitter huff.
“Exactly, and as soon as school is over we’ll figure out a way to get this fixed. We’ve got time since there’s no volleyball practice today since it’s Monday. We can get through the school day no problem.”
“You’re going to have to call me something other than Iwa-chan though or my cover will be blown in a second,” Iwaizumi points out.
“Crap, you’re right.” Iwaizumi would never admit it, but he found it kind of cute when Oikawa didn’t swear and instead said a clean version of the swear word. “Hmm,” Iwaizumi does not like the smile growing on Oikawa’s face. “I’ll call you… Haru-chan!”
“I hate this.”
“Well you’re going to have to deal with this for now, Haru-chan.”
“I changed my mind, it’s you who I hate.”
“So rude, Iwa-chan!”
[]
Introducing himself to his classmates as another person is weird, but not as weird as Iwaizumi thought it was going to be. They buy the lie that he’s a cousin and is shadowing for a few days, looking at him with a mixture of fascination and curiosity that he would expect from people seeing a new classmate for the first time, no one looking even the slightest bit suspicious. However, some of the guys in his class are very clearly checking him out, and he starts to glare at them but then he sees Oikawa making a cutting motion with his hand across his neck and Iwaizumi quickly fixes his expression to a slightly more neutral one. No way was he going to smile at those guys who were obviously ogling him though.
The morning classes fly by, and soon enough it’s lunch time. A couple of his classmates, mostly guys, begin to approach him, but before they are able to speak to him, Oikawa loudly says, “Haru-chan, let’s go eat lunch with Makki and Mattsun! You’re going to love them!”
“Uh, sure, that sounds nice.” Iwaizumi responds, his curious classmates turning away and heading back towards where they normally eat their lunches at Oikawa’s loud declaration.
It’s only then that Iwaizumi realizes that in all the chaos that had went down that morning, he had completely forgotten to bring a lunch, or much of anything besides the purse-like bag Oikawa had found in his sister’s room that Iwaizumi threw a spiral notebook in so that he could take notes for his classes and not get behind on the material.
“Don’t worry, I can cover you for lunch. I’ll go get us some food and meet you up on the roof,” Oikawa says, of course somehow one step ahead. Oikawa heads out the classroom and towards the cafeteria while Iwaizumi heads in the other direction towards the stairs to the roof.
It’s only when Iwaizumi is opening the door to the roof that he sees the glaring hole in their plan, which is that he’s supposed to have never met Hanamaki and Matsukawa before. He’s glad he’s realized this before walking over to the two, and uses the short walk to formulate a lie to tell them.
“Are you two Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san?” he asks when he nears his friends.
“Yeah that’s us,” Hanamaki answers for the both of them. He then gives Iwaizumi a once over, but quickly returns his eyes to Iwaizumi’s face. “I don’t think we’ve met, but you look really similar to a friend of ours.”
“Yeah, you must mean my cousin Hajime. I’m Iwaizumi Haruhi.” Iwaizumi does a small bow to make the act more believable, doing his best to act how he thinks a girl would upon meeting two strangers.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-chan.” Matsukawa says, both him and Hanamaki nodding their heads slightly to acknowledge her.
“Is it okay if I eat lunch with you guys? Oikawa had shown me pictures of you two and sent me up here to join you both while he got us some food.”
“Of course.”
Iwaizumi awkwardly sits down, making sure to sit with his knees tucked under him so that his skirt covers him. Once again, he wonders how girls deal with this shit every day.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa politely ask him a few questions about if he’s a transfer student and about where Hajime is, and Iwaizumi responds to them all with equal politeness. The whole conversation feels so wrong and out of place, but he has to admit, he’s slightly impressed that his normally goofy and nonstop joking friends are surprisingly good at being polite and making conversation with someone who they regard as a stranger.
Oikawa joins them not much later, carrying two small bags. “Makki, Matsun, I see you’ve already met Haru-chan! And yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but this gorgeous girl is actually related to our Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi finds that he’s completely unable to stop himself from blushing at Oikawa’s compliment, much to his frustration. He can’t help it that he has always wanted Oikawa to use those dumb flirty compliments on him rather than on any and every girl his best friend talked to. When he lifts his eyes from the ground, he sees Hanamaki looking at him from the corner of his eyes. Shit. But Hanamaki doesn’t comment, and luckily Iwaizumi is able to get his face back under control before Oikawa sees.
With Oikawa around, the conversation flows much more naturally and the four quickly fall into talking about things they more or less normally would on any given day during lunch. Hanamaki and Matsukawa are surprised that Iwaizumi knows so much about volleyball, but Oikawa quickly covers and says he plays for the girl’s club at his school in Tokyo. Iwaizumi is extremely tempted, but manages to prevent himself from calling Oikawa ‘shittykawa,’ ’trashikawa,’ or even ‘assikawa’ the entire time. Honestly, he deserves a medal.
The rest of the school day goes by relatively smoothly. Iwaizumi hadn't noticed during the morning, but now he is aware of all the glances he's getting, mostly from the male half of the class. He guesses it's to be expected, he would also be curious about a new student, but that doesn't stop him from feeling a little uncomfortable under all the attention.
That was Oikawa’s thing, being the center of attention. He is simply the pillar quietly holding the shining star in place and making sure the star didn't get so bright it collapsed in on itself.
[]
The final bell of the school day rings and Oikawa quickly gathers his things and throws them into his bag. He isn't sure he can handle another minute of all the glances Iwaizumi is getting from all the guys in their class.
Sure, Oikawa had looked over the new body of his best friend, but it felt wrong to outright stare at her like a few of the guys in Iwaizumi’s blind spots were. But during English, Iwaizumi’s least favorite subject, Oikawa noticed that she had begun staring out the window and Oikawa took the opportunity to look at her more fully.
Even in a female body, Iwaizumi is still well built and toned, her muscles prominent under her skin along her arms and legs. Her shoulders are slightly broad for a girl, but still quite slender. Her legs are an amazing sight in themselves, long and the nicest shade of tan. Oikawa could see a layer of fine hair on her legs, and noted that he would have to tell Iwaizumi to shave that off if the gender change isn’t fixed by tomorrow.
But no matter how beautiful Iwaizumi is as a girl, Oikawa found that it still didn't even compare to how perfect his best friend was as a guy. Sure, Oikawa was attracted to girls—and guys for that matter—but he still had yet to find someone he found half as beautiful as Iwaizumi. But no matter what gender Iwaizumi is, there is no way Iwaizumi would ever return his feelings. He is sure of it, that Iwaizumi is as straight as they came and would one day find a nice girl who treated him right, settle down and start a family.
Just as Oikawa is about to grab Iwaizumi’s arm and drag her from the classroom alongside him so that the other guys in the class get the hint that she is off limits, the teacher asks if Iwaizumi can stay after class for a moment.
“Just go, I'll meet you downstairs,” Iwaizumi says to Oikawa, and Oikawa reluctantly does as told.
After changing his shoes and stepping out in front of the school, but still within the front gates so that he can wait for Iwaizumi, Oikawa is suddenly surrounded by a group of his fan girls.
Today there are six of them, mostly third years but two are second years. They throw all sorts of compliments at him and a few offer up things they've baked as gifts to him. Oikawa, always the gentleman, accepts all of their gifts and showers the girls with flirty but noncommitting words.
He can't help that he loves the attention his fan girls are all too willing to give him. But today there is only one girl on his mind, and he decides it would be best to disperse this group before Iwaizumi walks out and smacks him like she inevitably would, which would likely raise questions.
Oikawa looks back towards the school and sees Iwaizumi is changing her shoes and thus will be ready to go in a couple of minutes. Thinking quick on his feet, Oikawa says, “I'm sorry ladies, but I have to get going. Would a kiss on the hand suffice as payment for my quick goodbye?”
The girls absolutely swoon at his words, each extending a hand so that Oikawa can endow them with a kiss, one girl extending both her hands. Oikawa flamboyantly kisses each hand with a light peck, giving a wink to a few of the girls following the kiss or a compliment on how delicate or soft her hand is. The last of the hands is a bit more grabby, but Oikawa manages to gently grasp the hand in his own, and runs his finger along the back of the hand before placing a kiss on what he finds to be the most calloused hand of the group. She probably plays a sport.
When Oikawa looks up at the final girl, he sees none other than Iwaizumi.
“What the hel-“ Iwaizumi cuts herself off, face turning red. Oikawa can’t stop a blush from gracing his own face, his cheeks and nose must be a sight to behold from how hot he suddenly feels. The other girls begin to squeal a bit and start muttering things to each other along the lines of ‘he’s so cute when he blushes,’ and ‘has he actually fallen for someone?’
Iwaizumi’s gaze darts back and forth between Oikawa’s left and right eyes, but then she looks down at the ground, and rips her hand from Oikawa’s grasp, turning on her heel and stalking off towards the school gates. Oikawa is still trying to comprehend what just happened, and he’s pretty sure he’s never seen Iwaizumi blush like that. Is that blush the result of embarrassment, or something else?
“Shit, Iwa-ch-,” Oikawa barely catches himself, “Iwaizumi-chan, er-, Haru-chan! Wait!”
[]
After staying to talk with the teacher for a few minutes about his ‘first day experience’ at Aoba Josai, and about how long he planned to shadow the school (which he did his best to vaguely answer, but knew an answer that was more than a few days would raise suspicion), Iwaizumi heads downstairs and changes his shoes, having been given a pair of indoor shoes to borrow for his trial period.
He sees Oikawa outside talking with a few of his fan girls, a familiar sight, but that didn’t mean it sat well with Iwaizumi. Today the group includes some of the prettiest and most persistent third year girls, and Iwaizumi knows it’s only a matter of time before Oikawa picks one out to date, having broken up with his last girlfriend almost two month ago now.
Oikawa says something that makes all the girls cry out and blush. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at the sight. Iwaizumi continues to watch and sees Oikawa kissing the hands of the girls, which pisses Iwaizumi off even more than he already is from just having to witness the sight of Oikawa shamelessly flirting with so many girls at once. He grabs his bag from the floor and stomps his way up to the group, reaching out to grab his idiot best friend by the collar of his shirt when-
When Oikawa takes hold of the hand he is reaching out, runs a finger along the back of his hand which sends a shiver down his spine and immobilizes him. Oikawa doesn’t even look up to see that he’s not holding the hand of one of his fan girls and places a light kiss on Iwaizumi’s hand. “What the hel-,“ Iwaizumi catches himself before the swear completely leaves his mouth.
Iwaizumi hates that he can’t stop the blush that follows from completely covering his face. He locks eyes with Oikawa, Oikawa still leaning down close to his hand, eyes widening in shock, embarrassment, and who knows what else. Probably humiliation at knowing he kissed me, a guy in a girl’s body.
And then Oikawa has the audacity to blush. Not just a small blush either, his cheeks are a full rosy red and if Iwaizumi wasn’t pissed beyond rational thought, he would have found the sight unbearably cute. But he knows that Oikawa’s only blushing like that because Iwaizumi is currently a girl. Iwaizumi knows that he could never get his best friend to blush like that if he was his normal overly manly male self.
Anger and self-pity consume Iwaizumi and he forcefully pulls his hand away and turns to walk off. He knows he’s being irrational, that he has no right to be angry at his best friend for being straight. That is something completely out of Oikawa’s control and a fact Iwaizumi needs to accept. But right now, he’s mad and he doesn’t want to look at Oikawa’s stupid pretty face for a second longer. He hears Oikawa call out to him but does his best to block his words.
Once he’s put a little distance between him and Oikawa, Iwaizumi takes a few breaths and calms down, slowing his pace so that Oikawa can catch up. This is not the time to let his crush get out of hand, he needs Oikawa’s help in figuring out how to get back to normal, even if returning to normal completely squashes any chances he has at getting his best friend to fall for him. Only as a guy can Iwaizumi truly remain by Oikawa’s side like he wants to, plus Iwaizumi knows he wouldn’t be happy if he had to stay like this forever.
Oikawa is beside him a moment later, matching Iwaizumi’s pace. “Iwa-chan,” he whispers, glancing at the few students who are nearby, “I’m sorry about that, I thought you were another one of the girls, well I mean, you are a girl, but only on the outside, and so I grabbed your hand without looking at who it was and then-, I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything weird by doing that.”
“Oikawa, calm down, it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean anything by doing that and I overreacted.” Iwaizumi hates having to say that out loud, but it is about time he accepts the truth. Oikawa straight out said it anyways, that he didn’t mean anything by that kiss or the blush that followed, which is all the confirmation Iwaizumi needs to crush the small hope that is always in the back of his mind. “It’s just been a long day.”
Oikawa looks strangely crestfallen by Iwaizumi’s words, but only for the smallest moment before he plasters a cheerful expression on his face to hide whatever it is that’s going through his head. Iwaizumi decides not to think too much into what’s going on with Oikawa for now, he’ll put his full attention on that as soon as they figure out how to change him back into a guy.
The walk back home is filled mostly with silence that isn’t comfortable, but not off-putting either, a little awkward if anything. Iwaizumi’s parents won’t be home since they left for a business trip in Tokyo for a couple of days, so they decide to use Iwaizumi’s room to do their research.
Iwaizumi lets out a frustrated groan after opening the second page of Google search results, knowing that if he has to open the second page he has already lost. He’s found a lot of information on how trans people can take medicine and undergo surgeries to change genders, and feels slightly less ignorant because of that, but nothing on anyone waking up one morning a different gender that’s a serious article. There are quite a few sites that hosted hypothetical questions concerning that topic, and Iwaizumi wants to rip out his hair at how casually people are discussing something as life altering as changing genders suddenly.
“Oikawa, are you finding anything?” His friend has been strangely quiet for a while now, staring intently as his laptop. When did he put in a pair of earbuds?
“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says louder, a frown forming on his face. This gets Oikawa’s attention and he clicks a few times, and removes his ear buds.
“Sorry, what did you ask?”
“Anything?”
“Well, no, but I did find this interesting video explaining a theory that the government is hiding aliens with the ability to cause rapid mutations in humans, including changing gender among other abnormalities, so I may be on to something,” Oikawa says completely seriously.
Iwaizumi gives him an incredulous look before throwing a stress ball he has on his desk at his friend who is laying on his bed, smacking him satisfyingly in the middle of the forehead.
“So mean Iwa-chan! I’m trying to help you, and this is how you repay me?” He dramatically lifts a hand to the spot where the ball hit him and scrunches his eyes in mock pain.
“Oikawa, I’m ninety-nine point nine percent sure it wasn’t aliens, or the government, or aliens hidden by the government that did this to me.”
“Which means there is a point one percent chance that they are the cause, and thus I cannot rule it out.” Iwaizumi sighs. He closes his laptop when he sees it’s well past 7 in the evening already, and decides he needs a break.
“Giving up already? Don’t you want to change back?” Oikawa asks, but he’s unable to hide the hint of frustration at his own lack of success completely from his eyes.
“Maybe this is all a bad dream and I’ll wake up tomorrow back to normal,” Iwaizumi suggests, doubt sewn in his words.
Oikawa looks at him with pity. “Wait, before we give up, think back to the night before. Did anything unusual happen? Were you, perhaps, abducted and experimented on during the night and forgot to mention this to me?”
This time, Iwaizumi throws his eraser at Oikawa, but then seriously considers the question. No, he was not abducted in the middle of the night, or not as far as he remembers. The previous Sunday was a typical one from what he remembers. He woke up, and went for a morning jog with Oikawa. Did homework with Oikawa. Went to see that dumb new Disney movie Oikawa wanted to see, about some snow queen or something. Ate lunch with Oikawa. Went to afternoon volleyball practice and then stayed late at the gym to do additional practice with Oikawa. Then he walked home with Oikawa and finished up his homework and went to bed a little after midnight; he remembers that in particular because he usually tried to make sure he went to sleep before midnight on school nights, but had underestimated the amount of homework he had.
“It was a normal day from what I remember.”
Oikawa looks lost in thought, probably also trying to recall the day he had spent almost entirely with Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi can almost see the light bulb go off in his head as he says, “Iwa-chan! We made a wish, remember? When we saw the UFO!”
“Oikawa, if you tell me one more time that the aliens did this-,” Iwaizumi says at the same time as Oikawa rambles, “Now I’m not saying it was the aliens, but it was the aliens.”
Iwaizumi is about to refute any and all possibility that aliens are what caused this when Oikawa says, “Iwa-chan! Just tell me what you’re wish was and I’ll know whether that theory is plausible or not. It’s that simple.” Iwaizumi closes his mouth and glares at his friend, who smiles sinisterly at him. “Unless you’re wish was so dirty and about me that you can’t say it without tainting my innocent mind.”
“Hah!” Iwaizumi replies sarcastically. He thinks back to when he made that stupid wish. He had completely forgotten he had done that, and isn’t sure he’ll be able to remember his wish. What would he wish for on a star? Something that he knows won’t ever come true, most likely. Something that he wants, but can’t have, something-
“Oh,” Iwaizumi whispers. He tries to hide the look of sudden recollection, but Oikawa catches it.
“Iwa-chan, please do share what you wished for,” he says cheerfully, like he’s oh so excited to hear.
“There is no way in hell that me wishing on what was probably a satellite caused this.”
“Just tell me your wish so we can rule that possibility out for sure.”
“…No.” God dammit, he had hesitated.
“Iwa-chan! I was kidding about not wanting to hear it if it’s dirty and involves me, just tell me for god’s sake,” Oikawa pleads.
Iwaizumi half drowns out Oikawa’s whines begging him to tell him his wish as he starts to realize that becoming a girl is kind of a roundabout granting of his dumb wish. He wants Oikawa to look at him the same way he looks at beautiful girls, and if something about Iwaizumi had to change in order to make that possible, then…
No, no, no. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
But so is this situation he’s currently in. Fuck.
“Iwa-chaaaaaan, if you don’t tell me I’m going to come over there and make you tell me.” Iwaizumi continues to ignore Oikawa while he thinks.
There is another way Iwaizumi could determine if the wishes on the unidentified flying object came true in some backwards ass way without having to admit what he wished for to Oikawa. Just as he’s about to open his mouth and ask Oikawa about his wish, two hands cup his cheeks and move his head so that he’s looking at the boy in front of him.
“Iwa-chan, no matter what you wished for, you know you can tell me,” Oikawa says in a serious tone. His eyes then fill with a hint of… something Iwaizumi can’t identify and Oikawa then quickly removes his hands from Iwaizumi’s face. “Sorry,” he mutters, as if he knows he’s invading Iwaizumi’s personal space and doesn’t touch Iwaizumi all the time.
Iwaizumi raises a questioning eyebrow at the apology. “Oikawa I get what you’re implying, that maybe the wishes came true. But if that’s the case, the quickest way to know if that theory is plausible is for you to tell me what you wished for.”
Oikawa’s eyes widen, and then lower to a squint. “Iwa-chan, why are you trying so hard to avoid telling me,” he accuses.
“Just tell me, Oikawa.”
“Nope, it’s a secret~,” Oikawa sings, motioning with his hand to zip his mouth shut. “Besides, I know my wish didn’t come true. Believe me, I would have known if it did.”
“Well that rules out that theory then,” Iwaizumi says, rising up from his desk chair. He grabs and drags Oikawa by the arm to his room’s door. “Okay that’s enough for today, and since I know you still need to finish that essay we were assigned in English, go home and don’t do any more research about this. I’ll do some more myself. If this,” Iwaizumi gestures at himself, “doesn’t fix itself by tomorrow morning, bring me some more of your sister’s clothes.”
“Wait, Iwa-chan, I don’t mind staying up late so that I can help you a little longer!”
“Nope, go home trashikawa. I need to do that essay too so that I’m not too far behind when this does get fixed.”
Oikawa looks like he’s about to argue, but the tiredness in Iwaizumi’s eyes must be apparent because instead Oikawa closes his mouth and says, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. If you are still a girl, I’m coming over here around 5am so I have enough time to help you get ready before morning practice.”
Once Oikawa’s left, Iwaizumi locks the front door to the house and heads into the kitchen to make dinner. His mom had made a big pot of curry before she left, and Iwaizumi helps himself to some of that.
He’s halfway through the plate when he already feels full, and realizes that girls eat less than guys. Iwaizumi sighs and covers the extra curry and puts it back in the fridge.
Iwaizumi considers doing more research, but decides to prolong his break and do his essay instead. But all too soon his mind begins to wander. What if he really did stay like this forever? What if Oikawa and him never found a cure because there wasn’t one out there? Iwaizumi can’t clear his head of all the questions and doubts swirling in his mind, and gives up on the essay when he realizes he’s only written one sentence in the past hour. He needs to catch up on his sleep, he decides, and begins getting ready for bed.
After showering, Iwaizumi crawls into bed with his thoughts still weighing him down. He sees his phone light up on his desk, and after debating whether or not it’s worth it for a minute, gets out of bed to go check it. He unlocks the screen and finds he has a handful of texts from Oikawa, and a couple from Hanamaki and Matsukawa asking if he’ll be at school tomorrow. He responds to them first, saying that he’s not sure if he will or not, and then he looks at what Oikawa sent him.
[Shittykawa] iwa-chaaaan i don’t wanna do this essay, motivate me
[Shittykawa] y don’t u ever look at ur phone when ur best friend is in need (⋟﹏⋞)
[Shittykawa] iwa-chan you better dry ur long hair after u shower and b4 u go to bed or it’ll be a mess in the morning and im not dealing w/ that (* ^∀゜)
How is that idiot able to think of everything. Iwaizumi hates being reminded just how familiar Oikawa is with the opposite sex, but if it wasn’t for him, today would have been a disaster.
Iwaizumi is always the one helping Oikawa it felt, but today, he realized just how much he is able to rely on Oikawa when he needs him. Which is not helping him get over his stupid crush.
After roughly drying his hair with a towel, Iwaizumi is finally ready to go to sleep, and the exhaustion that built up over the course of the day allow him to fall asleep quickly. He dreams of standing at the alter in a suit, but for some reason he still has the body of a female. Beside him is someone in a wedding gown, long and flowy, making his faceless bride who is taller than him look stunning. The priest gives permission to kiss the bride, and Iwaizumi turns toward the person, lifting up the veil to find Oikawa making a ridiculous winky face with his tongue out. Iwaizumi blinks and suddenly Oikawa’s face is serious, and Oikawa says in a sultry voice, “Iwa-chan, if only I was someone who loved you.”