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One Month After
“The bet,” Liam says suddenly. “We need to settle the bet.”
Louis looks up from where she’s holding Annalise above her head, giggling when she smiles. “I refuse to take part in any sort of gambling involving my daughter.”
“I don’t.” Niall laughs from the chair across the room. “Pay up, Lou. You too, Zayn!” he shouts through to the kitchen.
Zayn wanders through with a beer in each hand. “I don’t remember this bet.”
He tosses one to a sleeping Harry on the floor who wakes with a yelp, blinking sleepily up at everyone. “‘S’ goin’ on?”
“Louis and Zayn owe us money,” Liam says. “Wake up.”
“I am shocked you’re involved in something like this, Liam Tiberius Payne --”
“That’s not my name --”
“Shocked,” Louis repeats. “Who knew Uncle Liam was such a bad man, eh, Annalise? Nasty boy. You stay away from him, okay?” Annalise gurgles, a tiny hand soaring through the air to brush Louis’s arm. “That’s right, love. We’ll stay out of this.”
Zayn squawks in outrage. “If I’m paying so are you, Louis. What was that you said the other day? Hmm?”
“”I want to be treated the same as before, lads.”” Harry and Liam recite.
"Yeah, well, you don’t listen to me half the time." Louis sighs. "How much?"
Niall comes over and picks up Annalise. "How much should your mum give us, Anna? Hmm? A million?”
“It’s not like you need the money,” Zayn grumbles. He leans over to tickle Annalise’s foot where it’s sticking out from under the blanket, not displaying any signs that he does, in fact, wish she was a boy.
“You weren’t saying that last week when we all had to give you a tenner for that vase we broke,” Harry says. “Anyway, it’s not like you don’t have the money to give.”
“Can we just settle this?” Niall wails. “I love being right.” He holds Anna above his head, sticking his tongue out and turning in a circle. “And this was the best thing, wasn’t it? How you doin’ up there, love?” He’s turning faster now, Annalise kicking her legs and squealing.
“She’s just been fed,” Louis and Liam say simultaneously.
Niall laughs. “We’re fine. She’s playing with her daddy -- UGH! Wow, shit!”
Louis holds back her laugh for 0.5 seconds but the matching looks of complete shock on Niall and Annalise’s faces break her and then she’s laughing along with Liam, Harry and Zayn at the sick dripping down Niall’s top, the baby now held out in front of him.
Annalise starts to cry, a sound that has become programmed into Louis’s life similar to the way the crowd roars in an arena and how Niall sounds in the morning, and Louis starts to get up but Niall waves her back down, cradling Anna against the part of his chest left unsoiled. He wraps an arm round her and rocks on his feet, murmuring things into her ear that Louis is too far away to hear but wishes she could.
"Let's get cleaned up, Anna," he says, his voice louder again. "You shouldn't be around to see the fighting about to happen."
Louis rolls her eyes, waving at Annalise over Niall's shoulder as they walk out the room. As soon as they've disappeared down the hall she turns to Liam, Harry and Zayn who are still giggling. It's like having five children sometimes. No, it's like having five children most of the time.
"Someone pick a price then."
Zayn howls beside her. Louis pats his arm. They'll get them back somehow; she'll come up with a master plan the moment sleep isn’t the only thought going through her mind.
"Just think," Liam points out. "If you had been right you would be getting three amounts, but the majority won."
"Vindictive isn't a good colour on you, Payne," Louis says, eyes narrowed. "Hurry up, EastEnders is on in a minute."
"50p," Harry says around the rim of his beer. "Each."
"You're a bloody thief, Harry Styles. Do you think I'm made of money? I've got a child to support, I’m not working at the moment, and you're asking me for 50 pence? Disgusting, isn't it, Zayn?"
Zayn nods solemnly and leans over Liam to get the TV remote. "Daylight robbery," he drawls, sticking his hand into his pocket and pulling out a pound. "Split that between you."
"What about Niall?" Harry laughs.
"What Niall doesn't know won't hurt him," Louis says as she scrambles along the couch, nudging Liam from the end seat so she can lean against the arm and stretch her feet into Zayn's lap. "I have my ways of distraction."
Liam groans from where he's lying in a heap on the floor. Louis's favourite thing to do is talk about sex with Niall very loudly whenever Liam is around. She has a mental chart of the various shades of pink his cheeks can turn.
"Now," she claps her hands. "Get out or shut up, it's starting."
Louis has never been into soaps much. Memories of her childhood are peppered with shots of Coronation Street in the background at her nana’s house and she went through a stage of watching Hollyoaks when she was thirteen because that was the age to defy your parents at every turn and Hollyoaks had been a forbidden fruit, Ste making it taste all the sweeter, but that was it. She's a reality TV show kind of girl, she owes her life to them in a way, and she can relate to them, because as far as she's aware her mum is her real mum and none of her cousins are married to each other.
But pregnancy has changed her. She doesn't have the bump anymore and she can walk without waddling again but some things stuck -- she gives Harry a run for his money at crying at every happy/sad/boring thing ever, she still craves apple juice and coconut ice cream, and she's still addicted to EastEnders. She had caught it on TV one night when the rest of the band were out at an event she was too tired to go to and somehow every night after that she happened to turn the TV on just as the theme tune was playing.
She had kept her new obsession a secret, pretending she couldn't care less that it was 7.34 and she was in a taxi instead of caught up in Albert Square. And then one night Zayn had wandered in when it was on, became totally engrossed within five minutes, and it became their thing. There's something freeing about Billy Mitchell and his bad luck that only Zayn understands.
Harry and Liam get to their feet, discussing where the best place to get chips is within walking distance. Louis's stomach rumbles.
"Get me some?" Louis tugs on Harry's sleeve as he passes. "Please?"
Harry shrugs. "Sure, Zayn just gave me a pound. I'm rolling in it."
"You're a star, Styles." Louis tips her head back to shout through to the bedroom where Niall's still with Annalise. "Niall! D'you want chips? Haz and Liam are buying!"
Niall shouts something back, whatever it was getting lost through the flat.
"What?! Chips or not? Is Anna okay? What are you two doing?"
"Louis, go through and talk to them and stop shouting," Zayn says through gritted teeth.
A door opens down the hall. "We'll take chips, thanks!"
"Daddy or chips?" Harry giggles to himself over by the door. Everyone ignores him.
After Liam and Harry have left with promises to not take too long, Niall comes back down the hall with a pink bundle in his arms, a tuft of brown hair sticking out the top. He lifts Louis's legs to settle between her and Zayn, Annalise against his shoulder.
"Look who had a bath," Niall sings, turning her to face Louis. Her eyes blink big and round above the towel and Louis leans forward to take her from him.
She burrows her face in the soft skin under Annalise's neck, inhaling the talcum, the soap and the distinctive baby smell. "Mmm, someone smells clean."
"Ah!" A hand grabs at Louis's hair, tiny fingers winding in the strands and pulling.
"Oi, are you bullying me, love?" Louis laughs, reaching behind her to pull Anna's hand free. "I am your mother."
"Yeah, you gotta watch yourself around her," Niall leans over so he's pressed up beside Louis, sticking his tongue out at Annalise who makes a grab for his nose. "She's a fierce one."
"Our daughter's going to take over the world," Louis says confidently.
Niall tilts his head up from where he's resting on her shoulder. His eyes are drooping, like all his tiredness has suddenly dropped on him. He smiles slowly. "You reckon?"
"She's not going to take shit from anyone."
"Just like her mum." Niall's grinning now and Louis can feel her mouth stretching to match. She tilts her head to kiss him, her nose brushing against his, his hand soft on her cheek.
Eight Hours After
"This bed's too fucking small," Niall whines, his knee shoving into Louis's thigh as he wriggles onto his side.
“At least wait 24 hours before you start swearing in front of our daughter,” Louis says, glancing over at the cot beside the bed.
"She's dead to the world," Niall replies, but he lowers his voice.
“She’s really tiny, Ni. She felt huge inside me. Don’t --” she holds up her hand when Niall smirks. “You can’t make those jokes anymore.”
“Hey, nothing’s changed, we just have a kid now,” Niall says, indignant. “We’re going to be great parents, right? Remember what Grimmy said: coolest parents ever.”
“Like we can believe anything that comes out his mouth.” She huffs but she’s smiling properly now, the fear slipping away. Her fingers slide into Niall's hair, threading through the strands at the nape of his neck. He pushes his face into her, his mouth on her neck. "We can do this, can't we, Niall?"
Niall hums against her skin. "How hard can it be?" he mumbles.
And Louis wants to leave it at that, but, "What about touring and recording and -- I want her to have a normal childhood."
"Hey," Niall whispers, looking up. "Lou, remember what Simon said, we can have a year if we want. A year to shut ourselves away and keep our daughter to ourselves, and then we can take her to all these amazing places, show her how cool her mum and dad are. We can use our jobs to our advantage, it’s all going to work out."
"This is a different Niall from yesterday." The Niall yesterday had frozen when Louis's waters broke six days early, staring in shock at the puddle while Liam lead Louis to the door and Zayn grabbed the overnight bag she'd had ready for days. He had been a mess in the ambulance, his head between his knees and Louis coaching him through the breathing exercises he had been reading out to her from the baby book for weeks. And then they reached the hospital and Louis had been wheeled away with Liam and Zayn while Harry pulled Niall to the side and gave him a pep talk that had Niall walking sheepishly through the ward door ten minutes later. Louis had waved away his apologies for freaking out and grabbed his hand as another contraction rolled through her.
"He's grown up a lot in the last 24 hours," Niall agrees. "He's a man now.” He cements his statement by holding Louis’s hips and lifting her, shifting so he takes up the whole bed, Louis stretched on top of him.
"We need a name," Louis says after a moment.
"Don't you like Baby Girl Horan?"
"Too common.”
Niall wrinkles his nose. “I see what you mean. What about Cinderella?”
“What about you shut up?” Louis slurs, suddenly exhausted by everything. She rests her head on Niall’s shoulder, leaning up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Can decide tomorrow.”
“She’s not going anywhere,” Niall agrees through a yawn, glancing over at the cot. He smudges a kiss onto Louis’s forehead. “Good job, Lou.”
One Hour After
The first time Louis is left alone with the baby is 74 minutes after she's been born. The boys had been in to visit in a mess of tears (Harry, which he still denies), grapes and balloons. The nurses had tutted and laughed and pulled at their cheeks before ducking out and giving the band their first meeting with the new addition. Niall cradles her against his body, refusing to let her go, that grin still in place, and Louis doesn’t see how anything can ever beat this moment, screw sold out stadiums and platinum discs. Louis reaches up to touch Niall's wrist like she's scared of being disconnected for even a second, Niall slotting their fingers together around the baby.
Harry ends up being the first to hold her, his hand almost bigger than her whole tiny body. The size of her scares Louis half to death, makes her chest tight and her head spinat the thought of being so responsible for another human being. She takes some deep breaths when she thinks no one’s watching, flashing Zayn a grateful smile when he rubs her shoulder.
Liam waggles his fingers in the baby’s face, a sob breaking from her. Louis gets her handed back to her quickly, holding her close and telling her that it’s okay, Liam’s not going to hurt her, while Liam looks on, distraught. The baby calms down quickly and then she's peeking out over the blanket, staring at Liam who's staring back with a look of open-mouthed wonder; a truce made.
There’s a knock at the door and Louis looks up expecting it to be her mum but it’s Perrie who sticks her head round the door.
“Perrie!”
“You wouldn’t believe the bribery I’ve just pulled off to get in here,” she says as she closes the door behind her. “There’s so much security out there you’d think it was the royal bloody baby in here; luckily the nurse at the desk is a Little Mix fan.”
Zayn kisses her on the cheek and leads her over to the bed. “I thought you were in interviews all afternoon.”
“Snuck out,” Perrie says with a laugh.
“D’you think the baby will have morals?” Harry asks, peering over Louis’s shoulder at the baby.
“If she’s anything like her parents, no,” Zayn points out, wincing when Niall stands on his foot.
"Let me see her," Perrie tuts, pushing Zayn and Liam out of the way. "She's gorgeous, pet."
"Thanks, Perrie." Louis offers the baby to Perrie who takes her gently.
"Is it as bad as they say?" She boops her nose.
"Worse." Louis's mouth folds into a frown and Niall flexes his hand with a hiss. Louis whacks his arm. "Don't you dare," she warns when Niall opens his mouth to defend himself. "Perrie, love, I don't know how those women with eight kids cope, I really don't." Perrie's fingers turn white where she's gripping the bed. Zayn shakes out his hand.
But then, after everyone has had a turn with the shiny new toy, after Liam pretends to drop her three times and after Harry and Zayn bicker over how to hold her -- no, your hand goes here - three little sisters, Harry --, they announce they're going down to the cafeteria to get coffee, does Niall want to come?
Louis grabs Niall’s hand, a wave of panic crashing over her, washing away the euphoria from the last 2 hours. “You’re not leaving me alone, are you?”
“Well, no. The baby’s here.”
“No. No, I think you should stay, too, keep me company.” Louis’s voice climbs into panic. The baby girns and wriggles from her place back in Louis’s arms, her eyes blinking up at Louis. She has Niall's eyes and Louis's hair. She's going to be a heartbreaker, Louis knows these things. “Come on, sit down again, they’ll get you coffee, won’t they?”
Liam nods and goes to leave but Niall cuts him off with a “No, you guys go ahead, I’ll be right there,” which they accept, the pushovers that they are, jostling each other out the door with promises of chocolate and apple juice for Louis.
“No, Niall, I’m just saying --”
Niall kneels down so he's eye-level with her. “Louis, you’ve got nothing to be scared of --”
Louis bluffs, following the age old rule of fake it till you make it. “I’m not scared,”
“Yeah? I’ll get you a medal, then, 'cause I’m fucking terrified.”
And that admission centres Louis, brings her back down to Earth. “Just. Don’t take too long, okay?”
“You won’t even notice I’m gone,” Niall promises. His lips brush over her forehead right where she feels sweatiest and he drops a kiss on the baby’s head, still smiling like he can’t believe it.
It’s just her and baby now. Louis and her own baby. The baby she made with Niall. Their baby.
“We’re all alone now,” she tells her in a whisper. “This is where we bond, I think. I didn’t reach the end of the baby book; you wanted my attention instead.” The baby blinks. “Never mind, eh. We’ll ask Liam, he’s got it all memorised. So, what did you make of them? They’re your uncles! Not biologically, you’ve got a handful of aunts for that, but we’re all a family, so, that’s what they are. And there’s Perrie, too, that’s Uncle Zayn’s fiancée. She’s going to America next week with her band. Lucky girl. She’ll keep us from going insane, won’t she? Yes she will.”
A nurse comes in as Louis’s babbling. “How are you getting on, Miss Tomlinson?” She’s one of those friendly types, telling Louis stories about her own kids as she straightens the bed covers, brushing away the dirt Liam brought in on his shoes. “You look petrified, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Louis tries for a smile, manages a grimace, her hands clutching the baby that tiniest bit tighter. “Just a bit overwhelmed. How do you...” She trails off, not knowing where she’s going with it. “You know...”
“Cope?” The nurse smiles. “It’s going to be hard at first, there’s no sugar-coating that. But you’ll get into a routine soon enough and everything will seem easier when you manage to grab a couple of hours sleep.”
It helps, a bit. There’s still a worry building somewhere deep inside that she’s not going to be able to cope, she doesn’t have the ability to look after a whole other person, but people do this all the time, don’t they? It can’t be that hard and
“You’ll have lots of help as well, won’t you?” the nurse says, opening a drawer in the corner and producing a blanket. “Your boyfriend looks like he knows what he’s in for. Shall we try a feeding?”
Before Louis really processes it she’s hiking her top up and turning her daughter to fit against her. She looks at the nurse questioningly, looking for the next step, but the tiny mouth latches on and that’s it, away they go. Her hand curves to fit the baby’s cheek and the baby blinks up at her once before her eyes slide shut, mouth still working.
“Yeah he’s been reading those books for months,” Louis segues back into the conversation like the second most amazing thing of the day hasn’t just happened. “But this is so new to all of us. I always thought -- we all thought -- Zayn would be the first to pop one out.”
“You’re going to be fine, Louis. If you’re not you can get me free tickets next time you’re in London, okay?”
Louis goes to say she can have as many free tickets as she wants, Louis’s mental state aside, because she’s just saved a crisis on a massive scale -- temporarily, but still -- but the nurse is gone and they’re alone again. Louis and the baby. Her baby. The baby she made with Niall. Their baby.
Eleven Months After
They had moved Louis's things down from her and Harry's flat in stages before Annalise was born. First her toothbrush, then most her clothes and DVDs, but it's not until almost a year after they get back from the hospital that they find the time to move the rest down and sort it all out.
Annalise is out for the day with Niall’s brother and his family for some quality family time while they’re over from Ireland. Annalise loves her cousin who’s only a year older but who can say much more words which makes Anna clap and laugh gleefully.
Niall puts on Vampire Weekend’s new album and spends the first hour dancing around the flat instead of being of any help. Louis spends the second hour dancing with him. The next hour is spent making tea and watching Location Location Location and suddenly it’s five o clock, everyone’s home and no work has been done at all.
“I hate boxes,” Louis wails mournfully from her perch on top of one labelled books but on further inspection actually contains shoes. “I hate boxes so much.”
“Boxes!” Annalise exclaims, climbing into an empty one. “Boxes!”
“Great.” Louis tosses her hand in the air. “She knows about six words and one of them is now boxes.”
“What’s with the sudden hatred for them?” Harry asks, carrying through a tray covered in plates of melon. He hands them around, slipping Annalise an extra slice. She beams, showing off her three teeth. “They’re really cool; you can make cars and stuff with them.”
“That’s all very well, Harry, but you can’t make spaceships with them when they’re full of clothes you can’t remember buying.”
“Probably got them for free,” Niall offers, slurping the juice off the melon.
“Want to unpack for me, Li?” Louis flutters her eyelashes and hikes up her skirt like that will make any difference. This band has ruined her for any seduction tricks. “I’ll pay you.”
“No, EastEnders is on.”
“Yes!” Louis punches the air, jubilant. “You’ve all been converted.”
When they all tell her to shut up Louis crawls across the floor to the box that says books -- why does she have so many boxes labelled “books” when she doesn’t own any. is this an inside joke with her past self? -- but really contains Annalise. She dumps several boxes of clothes out on to the floor beside her and flips the boxes on their side, creating a wall around the two of them.
“Mummy!” Annalise waves at her from where she’s still inside her own box. “Boxes!”
“Cars,” Louis corrects, digging out a packet of pens from the box beside her. “Let’s get to work, babe.”
She’s willing to miss EastEnders for this. That’s what iPlayer was invented for, anyway.
(They tweet pictures of Annalise every so often - a curl spiralling over her ear, a close-up of the sparkly Converse Jesy bought for her, her hands covered in mashed banana, a shot from behind of her clinging onto Niall’s back like a limpet; never enough for the fans and media to get a full picture of her, not yet.)
Four Months After
There's a photographer over by the corner of Topshop, standing beside a large plantlike this is a nineties sitcom and he can hide by stepping behind the leaves. He catches her staring and lifts his camera. Louis flips him the bird, rendering the photo useless, and moves further into the underwear.
She watches over the partition as one of her security team approaches the photographer, gesturing for him to hand over the camera or fuck off. He goes for the second option Louis sees with a smirk, turning and stomping back down the street. The lead balloon in her stomach lifts until she's not feeling so crushed anymore.
The paparazzi have been fiercer than ever since Louis has had the baby. She's used to it, it's a requirement of the whole international popstar career path, but it makes her uneasy, hates having to be on the lookout every time she steps out the flat. She knows they're hoping for a snap of Annalise or a roll of fat under Louis's t-shirt to circle in red and proclaim that she "hasn't lost the baby weight yet! What's wrong?!"
But she and Niall have talked about it over and over again, both agreeing to keep Annalise out of the celebrity glare as much as possible. Sure, Kelly Osbourne brought her a sleep suit with unicorns on it and Lady Gaga said on live TV how she wants to knit her a hat for the fall, but that doesn't mean she can't have a completely normal infancy on tour buses and down the back corridors of world famous stadiums.
Louis's phone rings, making her jump and knock a pile of thongs onto the floor. She scoops them back up and dumps them onto the table beside her, positive that's exactly the way they were before.
"Yo."
"Lou!” Niall breaks away to cackle at something happening at the other end. Louis walks over to the escalator, waiting patiently for him to recover. “What're you doing?"
"Shopping. I told you that." Niall's out with Harry and Annalise at the park near their flat and Louis immediately runs through the things that could have gone wrong. Her hand falls short of the panda skirt on the rail. "Why? What's happened?"
"Nothing, nothing. Harry was just offering up his babysitting skills, wanna go out tonight?"
Four months is an alright amount of time before leaving the baby with someone else, isn’t it? The books don’t specify, they say it’s different for everyone, and Louis is sure this is okay. Right? Just for a couple of hours.
“Just Harry or Harry and Nick?” She has to ask, for her own peace of mind.
As she listens to the question being relayed back she picks up the skirt and a purple cami beside it and heads for the fitting room, grabbing a pair of paint-splattered jeans on the way. A bark comes down the line. “Is that dog there?”
“Yeah, Anna loves it,” Niall laughs, coming back to the phone. “Let’s get a dog.”
“Sure, a proper dog, though, not one of those yappy things... a retriever.”
“Deal.” She can hear Niall smiling down the phone and has to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning too widely at the shop assistant. She’s always wanted a family - a nice boy and a baby and a house with a garden and a dog, and now all of a sudden she’s got it. It’s Niall, is the thing. It’s Niall she’s ended up sharing this life with and it’s unexpected and surprising and brilliant, really.
“So, what did Harry say about Nick?”
“Why do you sound out of breath? Are you running?”
Louis pushes out a laugh. “Trying on a skirt.” She turns slowly on the spot, craning her head to see the back. “It’s too short.”
“Get it anyway,” Niall advises. “Wear it tonight.”
“Niall. Harry.” She tugs the skirt down a bit but it doesn’t help. Sighing, she pulls it off altogether, wobbling on one leg as she moves it to the side and grabs the jeans.
“What? Oh, yeah, Nick’ll be there. Harry said he’ll take Anna to his so we’ll have the place to ourselves when we get back.”
"Where are you taking me, Prince Charming?"
"That new place in Soho?"
"The Italian? Nah, I fancy Chinese. What about the one at Muswell Hill."
"Where Zayn choked on the chicken? Alright, I'll meet you at home in an hour?"
The top doesn't go with the jeans, it clashes too much, but Louis's smiling anyway. "Yeah. I'll meet you at home."
"Are you going to be a good girl for Uncle Harry?" Annalise gurgles, grabbing at Louis’s necklace. “Your gran got me this. Maybe you’ll get it one day...if you don’t break it first.” Louis smiles at Annalise, gently prying the chain from Anna’s tight grip before she chokes her. “Bed early, okay? Harry needs his beauty sleep and Nick’s a grumpy shit when he doesn’t get his eight hours.”
“I’m right here,” Nick calls over from where he’s leaning against the counter eating a cereal out of the box. “I wouldn’t antagonise the person in charge of your child for the next few hours.”
“Harry’s in charge.” Niall gets up from the couch to take Anna from Louis, tickling her tummy before kissing her on each cheek and handing her to Harry who sticks his tongue out at Nick. “I put the milk in the fridge and the nappies are in the bag with her sleep suit --”
“The doctor’s number is in there too but call us first if anything happens --”
“Have fun!” Harry says, walking them to the door with Annalise on his hip. Nick follows them, making Annalise wave her hand at Niall and Louis as they walk down the hall. "Be safe!"
“They’ll cope, won’t they?”
“Now who’s the worried one,” Louis laughs, grabbing Niall’s hand and swinging them between them. There’s still a ball of worry sitting low in her stomach telling her that every single thing is going to go wrong but she has to let go at some point. She jumps the last couple of steps into the lobby, shouting when she wobbles on her heels and spinning over to the door where Niall waves her through with a flourish. “You ready for a night of magic and adventure, Horan?”
The night ends at half nine. The Chinese is closed for refurbishment much to Louis's dismay so they go to the chippy next door and huddle over one of the tables in the corner, burning their tongues on the chips straight from the fryer. By the time they leave it's pouring, the kind of rain that soaks you as soon as you step into it. To warm themselves up they stop into an off-licence on a corner, buying a half bottle of vodka and swigging it under the collars of their coats, laughing too loudly to keep them out the papers tomorrow. They walk back to the flat hand in hand, their hair sticking to their heads and their feet landing in every puddle as they weave through the people in the streets.
Niall chases Louis up the stairs, the vodka making Louis dizzy and light, her feet disobeying her and sending her bumping into the wall. Niall laughs at her shriek and pulls her along the corridor, too focused on pressing her against the door to kiss her that it takes him three attempts to turn the key in the lock.
"'M'going' for a shower," Louis calls through to the kitchen where Niall's putting the kettle on. She takes off her heels with a groan, sighing with happiness when her feet touch the ground. "Then we can take advantage of the empty house."
Niall shouts back his agreement as Louis walks into the bathroom, stepping out of her dress at the door. They were playing the new Haim song in the chippy and Louis can’t get it out of her head.
She holds her boobs as she's waiting for the water to heat up. They're still much bigger than before; Niall won't stop commenting on them, murmuring in her ear at all the wrong moments, telling her how much he loves them, what he wants to do to them. She’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Louis's just stepping into the shower when Niall comes into the room, a mug cradled in his hands.
"Joining you if that's alright." He places his mug on the back of the toilet and kicks off his shoes.
"That's the environmental thing to do," Louis nods, laughing and pulling Niall into the stream of water by the hem of his top. "Niall, you're supposed to remove all items of clothing before showering."
"Wow no one ever told me that." Niall's hand curves Louis's cheek, leaning down to kiss her. His tongue traces her lip, his hand huge on her waist. He crowds her against the wall, the tiles cool on her back. "You better help me take them off "
Louis stops for a moment, her arms round Niall’s neck and his mouth on her neck. There’s people out there with nothing at all and she’s in here with everything. Maybe she should feel guilty about that or maybe, maybe she should make the most of it.
“You alright?” Niall says into her ear, biting the lobe. Louis gasps and nods, over her moment of clarity, and tugs Niall’s top over his head, leaning up to kiss him when the material gets caught in his arms.
His arms slide down her thighs, the calluses on his fingers from his guitar pressing into her skin, and lifts her, pushing her against the wall. Louis breaks away to laugh when his socked feet slide in the water resulting in him almost dropping her. She brushes the hair off his forehead, peppering kisses down his cheek and catching a droplet of water from falling into his eye.
“You gonna fuck me any time soon?” she says through a breath, sliding her nails down his back.
Niall moans and pulls her closer, “I’m getting to it.” His hand goes to between her legs, skating across her clit. Louis moans and bucks into it, wanting more and more and more. One finger slips into her, pressing only for a second before he pushes another in, his mouth on her breast as he fucks her with his fingers. She grabs at his hair, twisting it through her fingers, her face burrowed in his shoulder and thanking Jesus and God and Joseph for Niall’s hands.
Niall pulls his fingers out far too soon, Louis groaning softly at the loss, but Niall kisses her again, whispers into her mouth that he’s going to fuck her now, so that’s okay. Louis slides his belt loose and pushes down his jeans with shaky hands. Niall licks over her collarbone, bending to press kisses down her chest, biting the tattoo on her hip.
Niall pushes into her when Louis’s caught up in a kiss. Her nails grip his shoulders, her ankles locked around his waist, holding on as he pounds into her, her back sliding on the tiles behind her. He’s breathing into her mouth, traces of vodka still on his tongue, and Louis grasps his cheeks to keep him steady when he sways.
“The floor --” Louis suggests, not thinking it through when Niall all but crashes to the ground, bracing himself above her. He can fuck her faster from this angle, harder, and the heat in her stomach is building, twisting through her. She reaches down to rub her clit, tight little circles that always pull her apart. Niall’s cheeks are blotchy, his chest, too; when Louis runs her nails down his arm the skin flashes white for a beat. He presses a sloppy kiss to the corner of her mouth, and Louis knows he’s almost there.
"Louis," he whines low in his throat, his hands slipping on her stomach.
Niall flicks a finger over her nipple and she hurtles over the edge, her body tensing as her orgasm rushes over her, leaving her gasping, her eyelids fluttering in the aftershocks. She smiles up at Niall, blissful, watching through half-shut eyes as he pulls out and jerks himself to the end, curling over as he comes, Louis knowing the exact expression on his face.
Louis washes his hair afterwards, the two of them sat awkwardly on the floor of the shower. Her lips find the freckle behind his ear, tasting shampoo when she kisses it.
Ten Months After
“Hey, Niall!” Louis yells, not taking her eyes off of Annalise. “Niall, get through here. Get the camera!”
“What is it?” Niall comes to the doorway, a tea towel in his hand. When he sees Anna standing in the middle of the room he disappears back into the kitchen, coming back with the video camera and minus the tea towel and crouches down. “Anna, come to Dad!” Anna turns on the spot, her toy elephant in hand. “Come on!”
“Walk to Daddy, Anna!” Louis shouts. They’ve been encouraging the whole walking idea for a few weeks, creating more open spaces in the living room to give Anna less surfaces to cling to and therefore more incentive to walk to get from A to B. She’s on the brink of walking, she just needs that final push.
“You can do it!” Niall cheers and, encouraged by this, Annalise takes one tiny step towards him. Then another, and another. Louis watches with her fingers in her mouth as she takes another step, so close to Niall now. “Look at you! You’re almost there, Anna! A couple more!”
Annalise smiles suddenly, like she knows exactly how big a moment this is, and practically runs the final stretch into Niall’s arms, showing off her two teeth when he scoops her into the air with an excited yell.
Louis scrambles to her feet and rushes across the room to join them, kissing Anna on the cheek. “Well done, love!”
“You’re so proud of yourself, aren’t you?” Niall laughs. “Want to go again?”
Annalise nods and wriggles in Niall’s arms until he sets her down. She looks uncertain when she reaches the ground, like she’s bitten off more than she chew, but Louis takes a few steps back into the middle of the room beside the castle Anna was building earlier and opens her arms as a goal.
She does it quicker this time, one foot in front of the other over and over again until she’s laughing in Louis’s lap. “Yes!” she says, pleased.
“Yes!” Louis repeats, meeting Niall’s eyes over their daughter’s head. She never stopped to realise she would get all these moments, all these huge achievements and milestones, when she found out she was pregnant.
“We need to send this to everyone,” Niall says into the camera, zooming up on his face and crossing his eyes. “We’re going to be those parents.”
“I’ll need to teach you how to play football soon, won’t I? You’ll run circles around your dad.” Louis ducks the cushion aimed for her head.
“Daddy!” Annalise squeals. “No.”
Three Weeks After
“What’re we gonna do, Niall?” Louis switches Annalise to the other hip, rocking on the balls of her feet. “It’s been, like, five hours.”
Niall flips through the pages of the book they all live by, a page tearing in his haste. “I know I know. Has she been fed recently?”
“You fed her half an hour ago, remember. And no, she does not need changed, she doesn't need burped, she doesn’t need anything.”
“I’m just reading from the book, Lou,” Niall counters. He scrubs a hand through his hair until it’s sticking in all directions. He looks so young, Louis realises. With his odd socks and boxers crooked on his hips, his eyes big. He looks how Louis feels.
Annalise is still screaming in her ear, giving every thought an echo. Louis swallows the lump in her throat and tries really hard not to cry herself. She brushes the sweaty hair back from her face, picking up the cloth from the couch to cool down her red scrunched-up face.
“Give her to me.” Niall reaches his arms out but Louis can’t find it in her to move her own. “Come on, Louis. It’s my turn.” When Louis still doesn’t move her arms Niall lifts Annalise. The crying doesn’t stop.
It’s 4.36 am. Louis is so tired.
“Why won’t she stop, Louis? What are we doing wrong?”
Louis shakes her head wordlessly, tears still threatening to fall. She will not cry.
“Do you want to go for a walk, Anna? Is that it?” The crying continues. “Will we go for a walk?”
“Niall, it’s five in the morning.”
“Just round the park, Lou, it’ll be fine.” Niall hands Annalise to Louis so he can pull his hoodie on, shoving his feet into his trainers. “You coming?”
Louis’s finding her shoes before she thinks about it. She ducks into the bedroom to grab one of Niall’s jumpers and a blanket for Annalise. “You know we might get stabbed, right? London at 5am?” she shouts over the crying.
“I’m willing to take that risk,” Niall replies. “Come on, Anna, let’s go.”
The three of them head down the stairs, Louis with the baby and Niall carrying the pram, and into the street. It’s getting light, the sun bathing the streets in a watery glow. There’s a group of drunk men at one end of the street so they cross in the middle and head into the park. The change of scenery seems to have had an effect on Annalise; the crying has quietened to hiccups, a sob bursting from her tiny body every few seconds.
Louis bends down to place her in the pram, running a hand over Annalise’s cheek in an attempt to soothe her. She stands up again and wraps an arm around Niall’s waist, leaning on his shoulder as they walk slowly along the path.
The place seems different at this time, Louis only ever seeing it from the other side when she can’t stand on her feet and her hair is falling down her shoulder. There’s a muted feeling of magic over it now, the trees bending to whisper in their ear as they pass, the sparrows and squirrels surrounding their roots instead of scattering at the sound of the pram wheels on the gravel.
They walk in silence, both too exhausted to talk. Annalise falls asleep within the first quarter of an hour, her cheeks still red from exertion, from sending Louis and Niall to the edge and back. They lift the pram up the stairs at half six, Niall carrying her to her cot like she’s made of glass. They both collapse into bed still in their hoodies, shoes at the bottom of the bed. Louis burrows into the pillows and Niall fits in behind her, both asleep in seconds.
One Year After
"Where's the birthday girl?" Harry asks, letting himself into the flat. Louis hears a thump and a muttered shit. "I have her presents."
Louis stands as he comes into the room, a bag in one arm and a balloon in the other. "That balloon says Happy 18th."
Harry smiles sheepishly, "Clinton's don't do balloons for 1st birthdays?"
"So instead of just leaving it the obvious solution was to get one 17 years off," Louis rolls her eyes, stepping forward to hug Harry. "Thanks, Haz."
"Only the best for my niece," he says, squeezing her waist and then pulling away to set down the bag. "Where is everyone? I thought this was a party."
Louis pushes her hair off her face. "Niall and Liam are picking everyone up from the hotel, Zayn and Perrie are running late, and the birthday girl’s having a nap."
"Time for a drink then," Harry says decisively, pulling Louis into the kitchen before she can protest. She watches as Harry fumbles with the child-locked cupboard, swearing under his breath when his finger catches on the lock. He produces a bottle of vodka with a triumphant grin, plonks it on the counter, and then reaches up to the top shelf for two shot glasses.
"Why are we shotting vodka at twelve in the afternoon?" As a mother she feels she should question it before going through with it regardless, something about morality.
"Twelve in the morning don't you mean?" Harry glances up at Louis bites his lip as he pours the liquid into the glasses, bending down to make sure they're even. He hands Louis the fuller of the two. "To celebrate you making it through your first year of parenthood!"
"I knew you had doubts about me, Harry Styles," Louis exclaims, grinning.
“To you and Niall shagging and making something beautiful,” Harry nods, tossing his shot back before Louis, which is breaking the rules of alcohol in Louis’s opinion.
“I am so touched,” she says once she’s drank the vodka, coughing slightly, hand on her heart. “Truly.”
“You and Niall,” Harry says after a break of silence. “You make a good team.”
“We couldn’t do it without all of you, you know that.”
Harry waves that off. “Yeah we help but you two are the ones doing all the work, you’re the ones raising a kid. That’s something to be proud of.”
“She’s turning out alright, isn’t she?” Louis says instead of unwrapping the awe in Harry’s voice. “She’s going to rule the world one day.”
“I know she is. She’s your daughter.”
“You’re full of compliments today, Harry. Should I be suspicious?”
“I’m after custody,” Harry grins wolfishly. “Are you ready for next week?”
The change of subject makes Louis blink, taking a second to work out what he means. They’re doing a performance of their new single next week and it’ll be the first time she’s performed in over a year. She misses the adrenaline pumping through her as they do their pre-show huddle, Harry’s ridiculous food orders, rushing out to the bus minutes after the last song to move on to the next city. There’s been no mention of a tour yet but she knows there will be one soon and this time they’ll have Annalise to make it a whole new experience. She’s so ready.
Nine Months After
"I've got One Direction here," Nick says into the mic, gesturing over at them. "Taking up my booth like they own the place. They probably do, mega rich popstars that they are."
"I invest my money wisely," Harry says indignantly.
"How many cars do you have, Harry?"
Harry hums and looks out the window. God. Louis's missed this. They've had a couple of sessions in the studio recording the new single for Children in Need but this is their first official public outing in months. She misses Annalise already, wonders how she's getting on with Aunty Lottie and Aunty Fizz on their visit down from Doncaster, but this is her work, doing what she does best, and it feels so good to be back.
"So, the band back together again. You've been away for ages!"
“Yeah it’s been what, nine months?” Louis laughs. “That’s forever in One Direction.”
“Everything’s forever in One Direction,” Zayn says, deadpan, then groans when Harry and Niall jump on him, cooing and pulling at his cheeks.
"You and Niall have been busy, haven't you, Louis?" Nick asks, winking. "How's trading clubs for bottles and nappies treating you?"
"I haven't had a full night's sleep in a while," she says like he wasn’t there last night when she and Niall had a joint breakdown in Harry’s kitchen. "Forgotten what coffee tastes like, but apart from that --"
"I'm a brilliant dad," Niall cuts in with, slinging an arm round Louis's shoulders and pulling her against him. “If there were awards for best dad I’d win by a landslide.”
“Someone’s confident,” Nick smirks.
“He’s very good,” Liam concedes, wincing like it pains him to admit it. “They’ve both done a good job.”
“Aw, Liam.” Louis reaches over to squeeze his cheek. “Are you saying you’re proud of us?”
Liam ruffles Louis’s hair. “I am.”
“A One Direction cuddle is occurring in my booth, ladies and gentlemen. The only way to describe it is a puppy pile. They are literally puppies. No, not literally - you know what I mean. Zayn is looking like this happens too often for his liking but he’s in there all the same. Harry’s clinging on for dear life. I suppose it’s quite cute... if you like that sort of thing.”