Chapter Text
In this world, their first kiss is in the kitchen after the kosegruppa pregame
“But…she’s sweet…”
I look up. Regret looking up. Look back down.
“…Sonja.”
Why did I just say her name that way, like I’m resigned, so over it, trying to prove to him that talking about her doesn’t cost me anything? I know I'm a terrible liar.
His body moves and swallows the space between us. I am breathing his alcohol/cigarettes/laundry detergent/men's shampoo smell and I feel him looking at me but I can’t look up because the kitchen tiles are much safer to look at than his eyes. A bit of his hair has broken free from that goofy 80s neon yellow headband that he still manages to look sexy in (how?) and I can feel one tiny strand of his hair touching mine. I want my hands on his body but I can’t move, I’ve never moved before in my life.
His body is doing something again. He’s leaning in, leaning down.
One inch, then half an inch, and then we are so close. He wets his lips and I wish I knew how to stop this betrayal going on in inside me because all I want is to pull him against me but I am rooted, stuck, stock-still.
Can’t move, can’t breathe. Is he is waiting for me to do something?
Then: his lips are on my lips.
And I don’t know what the hell changes because now my hands are like enchanted hands, how did they know how badly for weeks now I’ve wanted to grasp his hair right at the base of his neck and pull our bodies close together and press them into the small of his back?
Hands in my hair. Hands on my jaw and neck. Our teeth collide and I am breathing into his breath and my body catapults into outer space.
He stops moving his mouth and looks at me and smiles.
I’m smiling back.
I’m thinking how crazy is it that humans have actually walked on the Moon. I’m thinking kiss me again and never stop kissing me.
He’s still looking at me.
“Even,” I say. And take one giant leap forward.