Chapter Text
Phainon did not expect to become a father now. Since he was a child, he liked to fantasise about having a family and being able to play with his son. When he reached adulthood other priorities were on his mind, mainly his work. When he and Anaxa formalised their relationship, it was too early to talk about future children. A couple of years later, Phainon felt confident enough to ask Anaxa.
It was a quiet night with the two of them snuggled up in bed. Phainon slowly caressed Anaxa's bare back while his gaze fixed on the bite mark on his neck. A very recent bite mark.
The skin around it was still red and small drops of blood were visible. He could also feel his own mark burning just above the sun tattoo. Although his hands were still working, his mind was elsewhere.
“What are you thinking about?” Anaxa had asked. Phainon never understood whether the omega knew he had his head in the clouds because of their newly formed bond, or whether he simply knew him so well that the green-haired man didn't need to ask.
Phainon would have answered the same way anyway. “Nothing important, just that... I really want to have a child with you” He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Not because he lied, but because he said it without thinking. Phainon wasn't sure if Anaxa was comfortable with the idea of having children.
“I mean... I'm sorry! I wasn't... Ah” He stammered nervously, trying to fix his mistake, but it only seemed to make it worse. It wasn't until a soft laugh interrupted him.
“Haha I've never really thought about that, having my own family” His voice didn't sound uncomfortable, so that calmed Phainon's nerves. “I've always had more important things to think about. How to help my sister, my studies, working at the hospital, the lab, and now the streams” Anaxa continued as he snuggled closer to his neck, his lips brushing against the alpha's recent bite mark.
“I suppose I spent so many years worrying about my present problems that I never stopped to think about the future... like that”
With that Phainon's heart skipped a beat. Was it pain because his beloved never had a life peaceful enough to allow himself to fantasise? Or was it relief at the certainty that his love would have a more peaceful future to look forward to? Perhaps both were correct, but what he was sure of was that he wanted to share his future with the green-haired man.
He knew it the moment he felt attracted to him when they first met, even though at the time he did not know Anaxa's secondary gender. He knew it on the night they became bonded mates. And he feels it even more intensely now in his 30s, alongside Anaxa who is entering his second trimester at 13 weeks pregnant. His future had become their present and he couldn't be happier about it.
Their puppy may not have been planned, but they're undoubtedly more wanted than words can express the feelings in his soul. Phainon doesn't need to use the brand to know that he and Anaxa are on the same page.
While the omega rested on the sofa, Phainon stared blankly at last week's ultrasound. Unlike the first ultrasound, this one showed the fetus's silhouette more clearly. The forehead, chin, torso, and even a little bit of the limbs could be seen if he looked hard enough.
“Staring at it won't make them magically appear in your arms” said his husband, noticing that the alpha was staring at the picture. He couldn't help but laugh. “And even if I could, I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't miss this stage with you for anything in the world”
Satisfied with the answer, Anaxa continued reading the book he was holding. “You'd better not. If you leave me alone with a pup I'll ruin your career”
“I don't doubt it! But luckily for us, that's not a possibility”
Phainon continued reviewing the notes from the last medical appointment. Anaxa hadn't gained much weight, only a couple of kilograms, but at least he hadn't lost any, and that was the most important thing.
His blood pressure was still low, but the doctor insisted it wasn't enough to worry about too much. Even so, Phainon stayed close whenever he could to make sure Anaxa didn't faint.
The alpha decided to leave the notes he had been reading over and over again during the week in favour of snuggling up next to his husband on the sofa. Now that Anaxa was in the early stages of his second trimester his belly had grown enough to show. It was just a small baby bump that could easily be mistaken for weight gain by a normal person, and it wasn't even noticeable under most clothes. But Phainon wasn't just anyone; he was the one who had the privilege of running his hands over Anaxa's bare skin and feeling their baby as big as a peach.
“Mhm?” Anaxa does not seem confused when he sees his alpha approaching, demanding attention. He gladly puts the book aside and opens the arms in welcome. Phainon positions himself so that he can be in his arms without crushing the little peach-sized baby.
“You know that at some point you'll have to leave me so you can go to work” Anaxa was amused to see Phainon hide his face in his neck while moaning in annoyance.
“Mmmm... no, I don't want to” said the 30-year-old man as if he were a pup.
“Yes. You'll have to spend eight hours straight away from me and your child. And the next day too, and the next, and so on for months” The more he spoke the more Phainon seemed to try to merge with him more eagerly.
“Imagine if I go into labour when you're not with me”
“No! Don't say that!” This time Anaxa couldn't hold back his laughter.
Anaxa had not woken up feeling well. Unfortunately this has become a habit. He always woke up with nausea or headaches, but this time it felt different.
In recent days the nausea had lessened in intensity. It was still present but not as extreme as before. For Anaxa this would have been a small respite, but his body had other plans.
The slight discomfort in his chest could have gone unnoticed, especially with other more important things to worry about but now that slight discomfort had gradually increased until it was difficult to ignore. Anaxa was in his room getting dressed to stream at his usual time. As he was putting on his shirt he decided to take a look at the chest.
They were noticeably more swollen but nothing too extreme. Phainon, being a male alpha, had much larger pectorals than Anaxa, who will breastfeed the pup. The worst part was that this was only just beginning; it still had more to develop. Anaxa felt sympathy for those female omegas who naturally have much larger breasts than male omegas. He couldn't imagine himself suffering from back pain before the baby had even grown enough.
This reminded him that he needed to add a breast pump to the list for when he and Phainon went shopping for baby stuff. Female breasts could store more milk while male breasts, due to their smaller size, produced less but more consistently.
His thoughts were interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind.
Phainon's hands took the opportunity to massage the bulging chest beneath his shirt. “What are you doing standing in front of the mirror? Does it hurt?” he said with a cheeky smile as he rested his head on Anaxa's shoulder.
“It doesn't hurt, but it feel very uncomfortable”
“Mhm, if you're feeling uncomfortable, why don't you take a break today?” Anaxa sighed before turning to face Phainon. “We've already talked about this. There's no need to change my schedule, especially not so suddenly” Besides, what excuse could he give his manager? Anaxa would prefer that as few people as possible knew about it.
“I know, but if I'm going to be away from you, it will reassure me more if I know you're resting” Anaxa couldn't blame him, but he also couldn't cancel a stream half an hour before without an excuse just because his mate felt uneasy about leaving him alone. Phainon worries too much about a job that's no big deal.
All Anaxa has to do is sit in front of a camera entertaining people, although today he has something different planned. If Anaxa were still working as a doctor, with inhumane working hours, being mistreated by both his superiors and patients, and sleeping on the floor using his own gown as a pillow, Phainon would definitely not survive.
“How sweet, but I assure you nothing will happen to me while I'm here. Besides, Phainon…”
“Yes?”
…
“You can take your hands off my chest” The alpha smiled as if he were an innocent soul.
“Can I? Mmm I don't know– Ah!” Phainon was interrupted by a jealous mini dromas. Cosmos used his head to push the alpha away from Anaxa. “See? At least someone here respects me” said Anaxa, proudly watching his dromas son behave in an overprotective manner.
“Naxy, do something!” Phainon said as he tried to calm the mini dromas but the omega just stared at him.
“You'd better get ready for work, Phainon. No lame excuses for being late”
In the end, it was Anaxa who had to take Cosmos out of the room so that Phainon could get changed in peace.
After Phainon left, Anaxa went into his studio to wait and check that everything was in order for today's live stream. Behind him was a giant box. A couple of weeks ago a limited edition dromas statue over two metres tall was released. Anaxa was, of course, one of the first to buy it and with priority delivery. Now he was going to assemble it on stream.
With one last glance at the camera he began his usual routine. Anaxa noticed that his skin looked a little brighter than usual, but it was nothing to worry about. His followers might not even notice, and if they did, he could easily pass it off as face cream or toner.
Ririnfe: Chat, ready to see him fail against a statue?
Natme: Greetings to the most beautiful being here
VonD2: NAXYYY I missed you already.
Lamake: Spit in my mouth please
Fuluo: GOOD AFTERNOON!
Madioo6: You're getting hotter every day, big bum
TokioGoon has donated $50
Your bum is as big as the sea. I wish I were Moses so I could part that waters.
Nak0aBro has donated $35
AYOOO I'm so horny, I want to fill you with my milk
Mariix13 has donated $20
Hi Anaxa. You look very sexy today. Can you suck my braid?
“... What have I done to deserve fans like this?” Anaxa asked after spending almost an hour receiving messages of all kinds. “I watch other people's live streams and they're all lovely words of love, they're affectionate, they wish you a good morning” Anaxa turned his gaze to the chat. “I'm live and my audience is a bunch of misfits and disturbed people”
Miyaya: What are you talking about? These are OUR words of love 🤨
Lu1la: You gave us a place to belong
Lixyt0: Here we are our true selves
Creke: They're all jokes my love. Now go back to bed
Offruler: I really want to eat him
Anaxa had to admit that, to a certain extent, he enjoyed this type of audience. At first it was disconcerting and he really reconsidered the idea of streaming but over time he got used to it. If his fans were the same as everyone else it would be more boring. He has laughed more than once at their silly antics.
Finally the donations were over and now it was time for the main event. Open the box and start assembling the giant statue of dromas. He increased the minimum amount, unplugged his headphones so he could hear from afar and moved the chair aside. Now it was just him and the box in the entire room.
He began cutting with a pair of scissors. Up and down, turning from side to side, climbing on the chair to remove the tape from the top, getting off the chair, and up and down again.
With so much movement Anaxa began to feel very dizzy, but he continued nonetheless. He could also feel his cheeks getting hot. Was it from the effort? But he had hardly done anything.
Now, with the base out of the box, it was time to assemble the rest of the parts, such as the horns, tail, neck, and accessories. His discomfort had not yet subsided and Anaxa still felt his cheeks burning so turned down the air conditioning.
Nenero_0 has donated $200
I don't know what's worse, that it took you 20 minutes to open a box or that I spent 20 minutes watching an elderly gentleman open that box.
Certainly the dizziness and slight fever had turned a simple task into a battle against tape and scissors. The streamer is relieved that his viewers are taking it more lightly.
“I think the worst part is that you spent 200 credits to give it to a supposed “old man” who just opens a box”
As the perfect artist of evasion that Anaxagoras is, he continued to do his job while ignoring his own discomfort. There came a point where his hands were shaking, as carrying heavy material is not easy for someone like him in his condition.
Everything came to a head when Anaxa could take no more. A feeling in his chest constricted him, his throat felt burning. Was it the fever or phantom pain from the acid rising from his stomach?
No, he couldn't throw up on live stream. Anaxa would rather give up his love for dromas and isolate himself in a church than humiliate himself like that in front of hundreds of thousands of viewers.
He didn't even want to imagine the face was making right now, let alone what people were saying in the chat. All he could think about was water. He needed his water bottle.
A bell rang in the distance.
Hilacxx has donated £200
Are you alright? We [ ] the statue isn't looking good, but [ ] need to pull that [ ]
It seems that his hearing is failing him because he cannot understand what is hearing. Who is speaking to him? It is as if he were underwater.
Different coloured dots overwhelm his vision. There are not only black ones, but also yellow and blue ones... It almost looks like a kaleidoscope.
The omega places his hands on the floor and pushes himself up.
Too fast.
Has the floor always been so far away? But before he can think of anything else, gravity does its job and pulls him down to the floor.
The last thing he manages to do before falling unconscious is to use his arms to prevent himself from falling on his stomach.
Phainon was at work when he received a call from Castorice.
The alpha had been thinking about completely changing his schedule over the last few days. Perhaps doing photo shoots at night so he could spend the day with Anaxa. The omega had pointed out to his mate that there was no need to go to such lengths and that it would only cause more problems, not only for him but also for other members of staff. Part of Phainon knew Anaxa was right.
“Maybe I'm being too obsessive” Phainon thought as he arrived at the photography studio. He couldn't blame his instincts forever; he isn't an animal. Both he and Anaxa were grown men and Phainon had to understand that he couldn't be on top of his husband all the time. He trusted that Anaxa would not do anything reckless that would put his health at risk.
He really wanted to believe that, but Anaxa had been pushing himself relentlessly. Still, Phainon would put all his trust in his mate to tell him if he felt too ill to continue.
Or at least that's what he had thought until today.
The first half of the day had already passed. Phainon returns to the break area where he finds his phone tucked away among his things.
Twenty-seven missed calls from Castorice.
At that moment he feared the worst. Phainon thought something had happened to the purple-haired girl; she was never so insistent, especially when she knew Phainon was working. The model called her back, hoping she was all right.
“Hello? Phainon!”
“Castorice! Are you alright!? What happened?”
“Phainon, finally! I need you to come home now. It's Anaxa”
The moment Phainon heard that he felt the blood drain from his face. Without thinking twice gathered all his things and left while still talking to Castorice on the phone.
The other co-workers looked at him and questioned why he was leaving so suddenly. The alpha looked at no one in particular and said something like “Emergency, I have to go” without looking back. Everyone else was going to be so angry with him and he would probably lose some contracts because of this, but none of that mattered.
As he headed for the underground car park the model continued talking on the phone, eager to get home as quickly as possible.
Castorice brought him up to date with what had happened. “Anaxa fainted live on air an hour ago. I had some free time today so I was on the stream as a moderator when I saw it. Right now he's resting in bed”
Phainon was already leaving the building, planning the routes with the least traffic. “Are you at our house right now? How was he when you arrived?”
“Yes, I didn't leave his side until I was sure he was okay” It is at times like these that a man is grateful to have such good friends. Perhaps he should give Castorice more than just thanks once the whole situation is under control. “When I arrived he was already on the sofa holding a cold cloth to his forehead. He told me it helped reduce his headache and fever”
Fever? Anaxa hadn't mentioned anything about a fever this morning. Had he kept it from him or did it come on in the afternoon after he left?
Phainon felt terrible for doubting Anaxa but he was not only afraid for the pup but also for the omega. He was worried that Anaxa would return to the old habits of ignoring his own discomfort in order to prioritise the work.
After making sure that the omega was not in any serious danger, Phainon hung up on Castorice after assuring him that he would arrive in about 20 minutes.
Throughout the journey Phainon couldn't clear his mind. He thought about what Anaxa's fainting spell meant. The doctor told them that this was a low-risk pregnancy but never mentioned the possibility of fainting, only dizziness. Did this mean that the situation was more serious than it seemed?
He thought about how thousands of spectators witnessed a moment of Anaxa's vulnerability. Phainon didn't like that. Knowing that so many people witnessed something he considered private between them did not sit well with him. Thousands of people must be sharing clips on social media right now, maybe it's even trending.
This exposure to others made Phainon extremely uncomfortable. When Anaxa suggested keeping the pregnancy a secret, Phainon agreed only because he wanted the omega to feel as comfortable as possible. If Anaxa wanted to have his own privacy then Phainon had no right to argue otherwise, let alone demand something he didn't want.
Now, with Anaxa exposed and vulnerable in front of so many people, Phainon is beginning to understand for himself the feeling of wanting to keep things private and away from the public eye.
When the alpha arrived at his flat, he found Castorice sitting on the sofa. The girl seemed calmer than before, and that reassured Phainon accordingly.
“Phainon, it's good to see you”
“Likewise. Castorice, I really appreciate you taking the trouble to come here to look after Anaxa”
The purple-haired omega smiled kindly as she gathered her things. "It's no trouble at all. Both you and Anaxa are my closest friends. It would never be a bother to help you in any way I can” Seeing Castorice heading for the door, Phainon stepped forward and opened it for her. “I know but thank you anyway. I'll make sure to let you and Hyacine know how Anaxa is doing when he gets better”
With that, the girl said goodbye, mentioning that she would let Hyacine know. The pink-haired omega was probably working but it was better for her to hear it from a friend than from strangers on the internet talking about it.
With Castorice gone the place seemed very quiet. Careful not to make too much noise, Phainon headed for the shared room, and there he was.
Anaxa had fallen asleep under the blankets. There was a damp cloth on his forehead, and he was wearing the dromas jumpsuit that the omega liked so much.
Phainon wanted to do so many things. Make food, so it would be ready when Anaxa woke up. He wanted to lift him up in his arms and go back to the car to take him to the hospital. He wanted to wake him up and ask him: why?
Why had he worked so hard knowing that he needed to rest often? Why hadn't he changed his streaming schedule if he knew he should avoid stress? Why had he ignored Phainon's insistence?
But in the end the alpha just sighed and began to clean up the whole place. He wanted to make sure everything was clean and comfortable for when Anaxa woke up. Avoided thinking about social media at all costs, not looking at his phone. Here, it was just him and Anaxa and that was all that mattered. First he would clean, then cook something delicious and light for Anaxa to eat, then they would go to the hospital to have the omega checked out and finally, when everything had calmed down, he would ask any questions he had.
When Anaxa opened his eyes, he found Phainon lying next to him, his arms around his waist from behind and the face buried in his back. Judging by his breathing, he was still awake.
“Phainon, when did you get here?”
The model raised his head quickly. “Anaxa! Are you okay? Castorice told me everything” The concern on Phainon's face is mixed with sadness. “Why didn't you tell me you were feeling ill this morning?”
Anaxa settles down to sit on the bed. The damp cloth, now warm, slips from his forehead. “I woke up with the usual symptoms but I just started feeling worse in the middle of the stream. Phainon, I would have told you if that weren't the case”
"I know, I know! It's just... um... I'm worried you're pushing yourself too hard, darling." Phainon quickly tries to correct himself. He didn't want it to sound like Anaxa didn't trust him, or worse, that Phainon didn't trust Anaxa.
“Nonsense. My work is no inconvenience to…”
“No” Phainon interrupted.
“Hm? No?”
“Don't start with that, Anaxa. It's obvious you're pushing yourself harder than you should. These last few weeks I've seen you more stressed than usual, so don't you dare deny that it's affecting you” Phainon kept his gaze fixed on Anaxa. The alpha may be very permissive when it comes to his husband, but when Anaxa's health is at stake he can't let it go.
Especially since Anaxa's health isn't the only thing at risk.
“First of all, don't interrupt me. Second, with a night's rest I'll be fine to continue. I know my limits and my own body”
“But it's not the same anymore, Anaxa! Your body is changing and you know it better than anyone” Phainon didn't wait for Anaxa's response. He got up and left the room, returning with a plate in his hands. “Eat up. I made it while you were asleep. When you're done we'll go straight to the hospital to get you checked out”
Anaxa didn't protest. He took the plate without even looking at Phainon. The omega was visibly angry. Phainon wanted to apologise just so his partner wouldn't be in a bad mood, but he was doing it for Anaxa's own good and didn't regret it so he bit his tongue.
Phainon simply kissed him on the cheek and gave him his own space. The alpha doesn't blame him; it's not that Anaxa is deliberately neglecting himself. It must be difficult to deal with so many sudden changes that force you to slow down your life. Anaxa has always been a person of strict order and discipline, so asking him to suddenly change his routines is not so easy.
But that's why Phainon is by his side, to help and accompany him.
When the two arrived at the hospital the curtain of night had fallen. Phainon looked out the window. Despite being several floors above the ground, he still couldn't see the stars which had been replaced by the city's artificial lights. It's one of the things Phainon misses about his little village, seeing the sky free of light pollution and being able to admire its natural beauty.
The moments when he and Anaxa visit Aedes Elysiae for the Christmas season are the ones he cherishes most. No cameras, no work, no hundreds of unfamiliar eyes on him, just enjoying time with his family. His mother would send him to help with the crops alongside his father, while Cyrene and Anaxa spent time together caring for the animals.
Speaking of Anaxa. Phainon turns his gaze to the omega who has been strangely quiet since they left home. The alpha had put his arm around the omega's shoulders in a kind of comforting embrace, and Anaxa hadn't complained, so he kept it there.
In a private hospital, there aren't that many people, and even fewer at night so it didn't take long for them to be seen, just a couple of minutes. What sets off alarm bells in Phainon's head is that Anaxa is transferred to an observation room in the emergency area.
He tries to stay calm and not let fear consume him; his distressing pheromones will only make Anaxa feel worse.
‘He'll be fine’ Phainon repeated in his head.
When they arrive at the emergency room, everything is different from the calm doctor's office where the couple had been before. Stretchers separated by curtains and medical staff rushing in and out. The place is noisier and less private than he would like. This makes the alpha tense.
The two head to the stretcher assigned to them, where a doctor is already waiting.
“Good evening. Anaxagoras Khaslana, am I correct?”
“Yes, that's me”
The doctor gestures towards the stretcher. “Lie down, I'll examine you” While Anaxa complies, the doctor picks up a clipboard. “Anaxagoras Khaslana, 34 years old, mild risk pregnancy. You were admitted to A&E after fainting for more than a minute, accompanied by a low fever. Am I correct?”
Anaxa responded with a calm expression despite the situation. “That's correct”
The doctor places a device, which Phainon cannot identify, on Anaxa's fingertip. When he asks about it, the doctor responds in detail.
“It's an oximeter. It's used to measure the oxygen level in the blood” he replies as he takes out a thermometer. “We need to make sure the oxygen level is normal. If the omega is lacking oxygen, then so is the baby” He bring the thermometer close to Anaxa's forehead, without touching him. A beep sounds and the doctor makes a note on the clipboard. “Low-grade fever confirmed”
The doctor was very kind in explaining the procedures. The oxygen in the blood and pulse are normal, so the other possible causes of the fainting are: fever, low blood pressure, dehydration or stress. The fever was low but could still be a possibility.
He continued like this for the next few hours. Phainon stayed by Anaxa's side, helping with any questions the doctor asked them. Phainon couldn't say exactly how long they stayed in A&E. His mind was more preoccupied with all the results. The model paid attention to every word and every piece of medical equipment in the room, even though he didn't know much about any of it.
Seeing his mate with an intravenous drip, watching as they took blood samples and helping him to the toilet for a urine test. All this while outside the curtains, the white noise of other patients and doctors going about their business could be heard. The alpha couldn't help but feel helpless. He wanted to be able to help Anaxa feel better, but the situation was obviously beyond his control. All he could do was stay by his side and wait.
Gods, wait. Definitely the worst part of all, having to wait for the results with that uncertainty lurking in his mind. It's like being blindfolded and walking forward without any guidance, not knowing what you're going to encounter and hoping it's not something bad.
The moment Phainon felt he could breathe again was during the quick ultrasound. The pup had a healthy heartbeat and no physical problems. He still couldn't feel completely relaxed but he did feel like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
The minutes felt too long, each second worse than the last. Almost an hour passed before the doctor arrived with a diagnosis.
“The cause was a combination of low blood pressure and high work stress. The fever was a consequence of this but not the cause. We recommend that he be hospitalized for at least 48 hours, so that we can keep him under observation until we see an improvement”
Phainon didn't know what to think. On the one hand, he was relieved that the pup and his omega were not in such serious danger that he had to fear for their lives, but on the other hand, he was concerned that Anaxa would have to spend two days under observation. He hoped that after this they would go home with stricter medical instructions, perhaps some medication, but hospitalisation?
Thanking the medic, the two went to reserve the room. Phainon told Anaxa to stay lying down on the stretcher and that he would come back for him when they gave him the room number, but the stubborn man insisted on going with him. How could he say no?
As he spoke to the lady behind the desk, Phainon could feel his heavy eyelids and aching back. Anaxa was behind him, sitting in the chairs in the waiting room. Before long they were assigned a private room and the two walked in together.
The alpha only allowed himself to rest after making sure Anaxa was comfortable between the sheets. It had been a long day and an even longer night, and he was grateful to be able to pay for a private hospital so that his omega could have a comfortable hospital bed and not one of those thin and hard mattresses.
Phainon lay down on the sofa with a sigh of relief, closed his eyes for a few seconds and then opened them again to look at his husband. Anaxa and he hadn't spoken much directly to each other since they left home; now they just needed enough rest.
Anaxa was lying on his side, his back to Phainon with the blankets pulled up to his chin. Phainon got up from his seat to sit next to the omega. “Hey love. Do you want to sleep now or do you still have some energy left to talk?” Nothing, no response.
But what Phainon heard next was worse than the icy silence. A sob.
Anaxa was crying.
No, no, no, this is wrong. Anaxagoras is not the type of person who cries. Phaidon has seen Anaxa at his worst moments and even then he never cried. At most he would become dissociated, staring into nothingness with eyes that were both empty and sad, but there were never tears.
Five years of marriage and Phainon had never had to deal with a crying Anaxagoras but there's always a first time for everything.
Is it hormones? Has the accumulated stress taken its toll? Is something hurting him?
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know. He sees his husband going through a difficult time and doesn't know what to do.
Phainon doesn't know what feels worse: being powerless in the face of his beloved's pain without knowing how to fix it, or the sobs that tug at his heart with pain.