Chapter Text
Ben, Rey, Leia, Luke, and Finn all sat still for what felt like an eternity. Ben continued his protective hold on Rey's shivering frame. Ben still cradled her on his lap on the floor. Her crying and hiccups started to slow down. When her crying began to settle, two droids came in to clean the glass, metal, plastic, and wires scattered everywhere. Another droid slowly started replacing the light bulbs.
Ben scoffed at the image briefly, remembering these exact droids as a child. When he was young and accidentally broke several things simultaneously as he screamed at his father over something, those droids came in to clean his mess. Still, Han did what any responsible parent would: he made Ben clean up his mess without using the Force.
It was a good lesson, even though Snoke encouraged him to give in to his anger even more so after that incident. Snoke was always in the back of his mind.
Ben quickly turned back to Rey as her head shifted slightly on his shoulder. He kept whispering to her to help calm her down and remind her she wasn't alone and didn't have to bear this burden alone. When her arms finally fell down his back and chest, he realized she had cried herself to sleep. Slowly the lights began to turn on as the droids started to test the replacement lights. His dark eyes blinked a few times. Only then did he realize he cried with his wife, cried for her. His deadly eyes found his uncle. He couldn't stop the scowl that took over his features.
"Finn," Ben whispered. "Please send a transmission to General Hux. I would like an update on my son." Ben's eyes never left Skywalker's.
"Yeah, absolutely… wait, Hux is babysitting?"
"Technically, Rose. That isn't the point right now."
Finn quickly got what Ben was getting at. Finn couldn't get out of the room fast enough. While Ben did want an update, he felt Finn had seen and heard enough.
"Ben, listen." Luke began.
"No. You shut your fucking mouth. How could you? Both of you. She was just a child." Ben's whisper filled with venom.
"We didn't know how to approach this," Leia intervened. "Rey was so young and showing so much darkness."
"You are barely trained in the Force. Did you not think you could have drastically ruined her life? She was ten when you decided to remove her memories and tried to rid her of her Force signature."
"We saw the same darkness in you between ages five and ten," Luke replied.
"So I heard on several occasions before my mother sent me to you: you, a legend, the great Luke Skywalker, who could do no wrong. You turned your father back to the light but betrayed me and gave up on Rey and me. She wasn't old enough to understand what she did. You could have trained her. She needed a teacher."
"And let her distract you? To further influence you?" Luke sighed.
"This isn't about me. I shouldn't have brought up that night you tried to kill me. This is about Rey."
Leia stood up. "You did what?!"
"Mother, sit down. I'm sorry for bringing it up. Again, this is about Rey. Luke, what you did to her could have completely backfired, not just on you but the whole galaxy. She was so close to falling into the dark when her powers awakened. Thankfully, she somehow didn't fall, although she had every reason to." Ben looked down at her face. Her tears were beginning to dry as she slept.
"I honestly thought because she was so young, by making her forget about her actions and powers, she could have a future, to live as normal of a life as possible," Luke replied.
"Do… Do you hear yourself? She was basically a slave. Mom, you could have had someone take her in, had her placed in an orphanage. Anywhere but Jakku."
"I couldn't risk her powers awakening again. On Jakku, we knew where she was. No, it's not the best planet for a child. It honestly killed me to help come up with such a decision. My main concern was for you. The fact that you had seen her in dreams and from what you told me then, she would briefly appear out of thin air. I didn't know how much more conflict it would cause you." Luke continued.
"I didn't realize worrying over a starving child was a conflict," Ben muttered. He had no way of knowing she would survive the elements and lifestyle of Jakku, no way of knowing they were a dyad in the Force, or she would grow into a woman who would be his wife and mother of his child. For years he thought she was a figment of his imagination.
"One of the many things I love about you, my son, is that you have your father's heart. You were always worried for people you saw less fortunate than you- despite what your uncle said earlier."
"I'm sorry, but he did act a bit entitled the first few years he was with me. No offense Ben, but you know that is your mother's side right there."
Ben couldn't help but nod in agreement. His mannerisms mostly came from Leia.
"Ben, I had no way of knowing she would grow in the Force as your equal. Dark or Light, I didn't have anything to give me such a sign, just that she was strong in the Force. I figured your strength was because of how strong it runs in our family. I just knew she would have been a distraction to you. And now that we know Snoke was always in the shadows if he learned of Rey earlier- what then? He might have killed you and then found her. Or he could have had you train her and then kill you."
Ben began to shake his head and open his mouth to argue but felt Rey move and heard her mumble. He tilted his head back down, whispering to her. "My love, are you ok? I couldn't hear you."
Rey slowly lifted her head and looked into his eyes, "flowing through all, there is balance. There is no peace without a passion to create. There is no passion without peace to guide. Knowledge stagnates without the strength to act." She lightly smiled at him as his fingers stroked her cheek, and he joined her.
"Power blinds without the serenity to see. There is freedom in life. There is purpose in death. The Force is all things, and I am the Force." They finished reciting the code together, lost in one another's eyes.
"Forgive me, love." Her eyes looked at him pleading.
"Whatever for?" His brows lowered in confusion.
"For having to hear about this. For crying as I did- for falling asleep. We need to get back to Alex." Rey was beginning to ramble. She didn't know why she was apologizing. She just felt the need to. Part of her felt more guilty than ever for calling Ben a monster years ago, although she had already apologized for it, and he told her several times she was right to call him that. Part of her was sorry for learning the truth.
"I just got off the comlink with General Hux. Alex is fine and is great at spitting up after tummy time but doing fine." Finn softly announced.
Ben nodded his acknowledgment, then lightly placed a finger on her lips to silence Rey.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Whatever happened, it is in the past. Let the past die. You have become what you were meant to be. What we learned here today does not change who you are. You are the most beautiful woman and strongest person I know. I have never been more proud of you. Alex and any future children we may have, we are lucky to have you as their mother. Our galaxy has the fairest Empress who loves all of her citizens. And you have some of the most loyal friends and followers. Your past does not change how they feel about you."
Rey sadly smiled at him. "I love you. Could you help me stand? I'm afraid I cried too much and feel weak."
Ben softly smiled and picked her up as he stood, then softly placed her feet on the ground. Rey wrapped her arms around him for one more reassuring hug before turning to Luke and Leia.
"I do appreciate the truth, but how dare you. I was a child. You stole my memories. As awful as they are, they were a part of who I was. Then you tried to make me forget my powers. If Ben and I had control of our bond, you would have also tried to end the bond. For as little as I saw him, this vision, my mirages in the desert, he was a lifeline without knowing it. You can't play with people's lives the way you did. And then you abandoned me." Rey blinked away the fresh tears. "Part of me does want to thank you because how I grew up made me who I am today. But I also hate you for it. I don't want you training any more children or anyone. You or Leia. I forbid it." She turned back to Ben. "Ben, please. I want to go home."
"As you wish, my love."
Neither of them looked at Luke or Leia as they walked out. Ben did stop at Finn.
"Rey, just a moment. I fear I may not get this chance again." Ben looked into Finn's eyes, who took a small step back. "I nearly killed you in my attempt to humiliate you. I can't take back what I did to you, but I want to try to make up for it." He placed a hand over Finn's chest and summoned the Force.
Finn stood confused momentarily as the man towered over him, held still with his eyes shut and hand hovering near him. Suddenly, he felt a tingling in the front of his right shoulder and along his spine. After a few moments, Ben stopped.
"Wh- what just happened… the dull ache along my spine that I've been feeling is gone."
"I thought you were spineless when we fought on Starkiller. So, that's why I struck you the way I did. We are still learning about this new ability to heal. The scars should be gone or mostly gone now. Stay safe, Finn."
As they walked to the Whisper, Ben wrapped his arm around Rey's waist. He heard his name from his uncle's mouth and slightly turned his head to look back.
"We still need to talk. About that night." Luke urged.
"Now is not the time." Ben then helped Rey into the Whisper, and they made their way to the Finalizer.
Finn, Leia, and Luke watched them leave. Finn was still in shock. He would never have guessed Ben would have had the ability to heal the scars he gave him. He completely forgot to thank him, though Ben was not expecting it.
Once on board the Finalizer, Ben gave orders for another star system to the captain, then he held Rey's hand during the walk back to their quarters. Once inside, Rey finally smiled as Rose brought a very alert Alex over to her. Rey held him close, inhaling that sweet baby smell she missed while away.
"Did she just sniff the baby?" Hux whispered. He received an elbow from Rose, which made him cough. Ben looked over at them. "I'm sorry, my lord. I choked on my air."
Ben watched Rey take Alex to their bedroom, then turned to Hux and Rose.
"Thank you both for watching him. Hux, I do apologize for giving you domestic duties." Though it appeared that during the hours he and Rey were away, Hux and Rose seemed more comfortable around each other.
"Anything to ensure the Imperial family's and First Order's safety, sir."
"Where is your jacket? You are never out of uniform."
Rose carefully brought the jacket to Hux. "Alex has an impeccable aim. General Hux wasn't even holding him, and Alex managed to spit up all over him."
"Again, so very reminiscent of the Empress. I shall take my leave, my lord. I do need to get a clean coat and finish my shift. Rose, good to see you again. Could I walk you to your quarters?"
Rose nodded, and they left.
Ben quickly went to the bedroom and saw Rey nursing Alex while sitting on a glider. She looked up when she felt his presence and smiled at him.
"How are you, really?" He knelt beside her.
"I think I am still in a bit of a shock over it all. I think deep down, I knew. Just as I knew my parents were dead, I felt it was because of me. It explains why I couldn't face the truth until you confronted me. Even in the throne room, I had a quick glimpse. I didn't want to believe it. You pushed me to face the truth, to stop holding onto the lie that they would return. The lie I made up for myself."
"You've always been strong in the Force. You didn't have control over your powers. It's not your fault."
"But it is. I didn't want my parents to leave me. I remember they tried to leave me somewhere right before Jakku. I don't remember much, but they couldn't leave me wherever it was. It wasn't until they found Plutt on Jakku. I didn't want to be alone. I just wanted them back." Rey looked down at the nursing babe with his dark brown eyes. "How could anyone do that to a child?"
"They were sick, Rey. The need for alcohol was so bad that they would sell their child."
"I shouldn't have killed them."
"My darling, take a moment and think back. Remember everything: how you felt emotionally and physically. And tell me if you meant to end their lives."
She took a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes.
"No! Come back!"
"Quiet girl!" Plutt yelled as he pulled on her arm.
Rey panicked as the ship got further and further away. Tears streamed down her small cheeks, the sun burning her arms, shoulders, and face, which already stung from the salt of her tears. She began to reach for the ship.
'Come back,' she thought to herself over and over again.
Then Rey felt a pull. She felt the ship stop. She curled her fingers, and they slowly came backward before trying to move forward again. Rey felt the ship slip through her fingers. She grasped harder and pulled her arm back slowly before it finally exploded. She screamed while watching the ship burn in the air. Black smoke filled the sky above it, and the heavy pieces fell from the sky on fire. Scavengers around the area began to run for the fallen ship hoping to find something salvageable.
"What the bloody hell was that?!" Plutt looked down at her. "I outta turn you in. There is a new army out there, the First Order, looking for witches like you. They'll destroy you and pay me handsomely." He began to drag her back to his shop, but she resisted him. "For someone so small, you are strong. Now stop being a pain in the ass– wait a minute. I can get thirty thousand for you, or you crawl into the smaller places and get the hard-to-reach tech, wires, and metals. You'll make more than you are worth. And you ain't an ugly human. So I can sell you off for a good asking price in a few years. Time to get to work, girl! You will earn your keep around here!"
Rey snapped her eyes open to find Ben still studying her.
"I wanted them to come back. I tried pulling the ship back. Well, I kind of did pull it back." She bit her lip. "I just missed them."
Ben raised his eyebrows with a reassuring smile. "You tried to pull the ship back?" He watched as he quickly nodded. "If you are comfortable, show me."
Through their bond, Rey began to show her memory everything she remembered that day. Ben held still as he saw her memory, desperation, and her little arm moved as she reached into the Force. He was amazed at her strength at such a young age. He sensed no malice in her actions.
"Rey, tell me what you felt."
Rey's eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over. "I just wanted them back. I didn't know-" she hiccuped. "I didn't know I would kill them by pulling on the ship like that."
"You just wanted them back. Is that all?"
Rey sniffled as large tears fell down her face and nodded a yes for an answer.
"There's your answer. You just wanted your family to come back. You didn't mean to kill them. You didn't do it out of anger. You were lonely, desperate for your family." Ben began to wipe her tears away with his thumbs. "I'm not trying to tell you how to feel. I want you to work through your emotions. I'll be here for you if you need me. If you want me to stay out of it, let me know. If you want to speak to one of our ship's counselors, do it. I don't want you to try to handle this alone. Even though I just said I'll stay out of it if that is what you wish."
Ben usually doesn't stumble on his words, and their roles are generally reversed. Rey usually helps Ben work through his inner turmoil. Ben has also been there for Rey, but this revelation cut deeper than he expected, and he didn't know how to approach her.
Rey moved her face to kiss the palm of one of his hands.
"I have more than I could have ever wished for: the most devoted husband a woman could ask for and our amazing child. I do feel it may take some time to accept what I did- I guess? I mean, I do accept it, as well as accept what your uncle did. In a weird way, things did work out, luckily. Considering everything we both went through, I don't know how we got so lucky." Rey handed Alex to Ben since their baby had finished nursing. She let out a soft laugh. "Oh goodness, Ben, could you imagine how annoyed and uncomfortable you would have been if I came to the temple as an annoying ten-year-old for you to try to boss around? I can guarantee as I grew up, I would have had a crush on you and followed you around."
"I would have had to beat you away with a stick. It was bad enough most of the padawans feared my power; let's add a girl much too young for me into the mix. I think we would have been friends in the beginning, and I can bet when you turned eighteen, I would have hoped your crush on me hadn't faded. Hmm, that sounds weirder than I meant. What I mean is… I would have waited for the right time. One, because I am not a pervert. Two, with the ten years difference between us, I would have ensured you knew what you wanted. Perhaps we definitely met when we were supposed to. I couldn't imagine you forgiving me for burning down the temple and killing the Jedi. I wouldn't have been able to hurt you if you were there." Ben paused. "The lightning that struck the temple came from nowhere, not from me. When I came to, everything was on fire." Ben laid Alex down in his crib. "Anyways, this is about you. And you know that I wouldn't have needed a stick, just stick my arm out to keep you away. I would have been a giant next to you."
Rey wrapped her arms around his large frame. "I think you are right. We met when we were supposed to. I was too young to meet you, and you were hurt and conflicted after leaving your uncle's temple. We were destined to meet. I believe that. And, of course, we are a dyad, having glimpses of one another through the years." She softly sighed. "That night at the temple–"
"So what is next? We got over our biggest hurdles. What is my Empress ready for? You're technically still on maternity leave."
"Honestly. I'm ready to get my Kyber crystal, just like we discussed. As you said, I'm technically on maternity leave. You can take me where I need to go; I find my crystal, build my new lightsaber, and do what you feel you need to do with your grandfather's lightsaber."
"Oh, not Luke's lightsaber? Just my grandfather's now? I referred to the lightsaber as that, and you ignored me." He said playfully into her ear.
"I'm still angry with him. Technically the lightsaber belongs to you. Remember?"
"It called to you."
"It's yours. I'll keep it on me in case your fucking knights come back around."
Her retort brought a laugh from Ben. "They are bound to show up sooner than later. For now, my love, I think we should rest. You had a hard day."
Rey nodded and stood up. Slowly removing her garments as Ben did the same. He went to his closet, pulled out his pajama pants, and slipped them on. When he turned around, he noticed Rey had decided to forgo her sleepwear.
Smirking, he said, "I'm serious, Rey; you need your sleep."
She slightly turned her head and winked. "We'll see." She moved the sheets down a bit before crawling onto the bed. Her eyes never left his.
Ben bit his lip while watching her. He wanted her to try to relax and just sleep. Then again, sex did seem to relax and wear her out.
Rey watched Ben's features change as he had the conflict within himself. She lightly padded the bed next to her while smiling at him. A groan escaped him; he couldn't help it. He quickly threw off his clothes and jumped onto the bed next to her, climbing under the sheets she dared cover herself with after she tempted him. She squealed with laughter watching him do so, then felt him climb over her as he cupped her face, passionately kissing her.
"You. Are. So. Stubborn." Ben said in between kisses. "One of the many things I love about you." He grabbed her by the legs and slid her down just a touch before she wrapped them around his waist. "Are you sure you're not tired?" He ran a hand along her clavicle.
"I slept earlier! Now, who is being stubborn?" She wiggled herself against him.
"I can never say no to you."
The following day, Ben held Alex while Rey ate or scarfed down her breakfast. She had yet to have any food since the previous morning. Ben smirked at Alex.
"I imagine you'll be just as ravenous as your mother when you are older, especially if how much milk you get from her is any indication."
"I'm starving! After yesterday's events and last night, I'm just ravenous." She took a sip of her tea. "Can you believe how much Alex has changed already?" She said, looking at the boy in Ben's arms.
Alex had gained weight and grown in length, his movements weren't as jerky as they once were, and he grew more alert daily. As if he knew his mother spoke about him, he let out a long coo that prompted Ben to make the same face back at his son.
"You two are so sweet. I can't wait until Alex is a little older, and we can try for more. I want lots of babies!" Rey dreamily stated.
"I agree. I love being a father. I love being your husband, but something about being a dad is a whole new feeling, like a new life that emerged from me. I'm sure you feel the same."
Rey nodded as she took another bite of eggs. "We have evolved in our short journey into parenthood."
"I think we can wait longer. But I do love all the practice we are getting." Ben reached over and took a sip of his caf. "So, for your Kyber crystal, we can go to Lothal or Tython."
"I've put it off for too long. Let's set the course for Tython first. I feel I'll have better luck there finding one. I honestly cannot wait to find my own. I'm curious about the color. What about you?"
Ben looked up from Alex in confusion. "Me?"
"Yes. You cracked your crystal when you bled it. Have you ever considered maybe healing it or maybe finding a new one? You are not who you used to be, and you're not in the amount of pain you were in. The conflict within you was coming to a tipping point when you found your crystal. There could be a different one for you at this stage of life."
"I haven't thought about it. I'd rather we concentrate on you now. I made my choices and mistakes years ago. It's probably too late. On the other hand, you are long overdue for your crystal and your saber."
Rey smiled as she finished her food and reached for Alex. "If you insist. I think it's something we could look into. It's never too late for you, Ben." She cuddled Alex against her. "Just think, if I thought it was too late for you, we wouldn't be here with this perfect being in my arms."
Ben stood up, stepped over to her, and softly kissed her lips, "I love you. Once we finish with your journey, then we will look into your idea. Thank you for loving me, never giving up on me, and still believing in me. But now, focus on you. As you said, you put this off for some time now. I'll send the orders to Captain Peavey."
Back on Ajan Kloss, Leia and Luke sat drinking their caf while Finn ran the training course.
"Ben reminded me of Han yesterday. He was so protective of Rey. I've never seen him so full of love or life, for that matter." Luke said before taking a sip of his caf. "He's come a long way."
"He has. I held onto hope for so long and almost gave up. I knew my son was in there somewhere. He just needed the right person to love him unconditionally." Leia sighed while looking out into the woods. "I honestly didn't know what to expect after Rey joined him. It was just days after he killed his father. I was convinced she fell to the dark as well."
"I wish I could change what I've done. I don't exactly regret what I did to Rey. Who knows who Plutt would have tried to sell her to? Snoke would have found her eventually. I'm still convinced Snoke didn't find her because I suppressed her powers until right before she met Ben. But my actions with Ben, that moment of weakness, nothing I do or say can ever change how I betrayed him. The look in his frightened eyes will haunt me forever. I will try until my last breath to make it up to him." Luke smiled at Leia. "Ben also reminded me of you. Quick to defend Rey, to put people in their place. He has grown to be a fine young man."
"Ben is a great man. I love him so much. My son has gone through so much more than most people could handle. I can't constantly think about what I should have done differently, or I would go mad. I wish I had quit the Senate earlier. He needed me the most as a child, and I thought he would need me as an adult. It turns out Rey was who he needed most. And you're part of why he went to Snoke and Knights of Ren, you asshole. It's a good thing you never reproduced."
"I feel once Finn completes his training here, he needs to go to them and learn the gray code. They have proved me wrong; not everything is light or dark. The true balance is accepting there is both in everything. The Jedi were blind to it."
Several hours later, the Finalizer came out of light speed with Tython outside Ben's and Rey's viewport. Rey carried Alex over and looked down at the planet. Her heart sped up with anticipation. Ben wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head. The next part of her journey was about to begin. The next part of their lives as husband, wife, and parents was about to start. As their child changes and grows, they, too, will grow. Determined not to repeat the mistakes of the past, the planet below them represented a new chapter in their lives. Ben smiled and looked down at Rey. "Are you ready?"
"I am. Will you be with me?" She returned his smile.
"I will always be with you."