Chapter Text
Tommy hadn't slept that night. His brain reasoned with him in all sorts of ways on how it wasn't worth it. Excitement buzzed through him still after his interaction with Tubbo, dread seeped into the back of his brain on how the days are creeping closer and closer to his birthday, and an urge to keep working on repairing the far too ragged bond with his family had made it's presence clear with the way his hands itched to go clean or cook.
At the end of it, it really wasn't a goodnight.
He thought that, maybe, if he closed his eyes long enough he could ignore the sunlight and get at least some bit of sleep, but no sign of it came even when he tossed and turned to get comfortable.
He had one more month. It wasn't enough time and he knew it, he almost wanted to sob. He should've been used to this by now. He should've known it was coming.
He's still scared of death.
His stomach rumbled with an achey pain and Tommy finally forced himself out of bed. He had to start the day eventually.
A slice of bread and cheese was shoved into his mouth the moment he got his hands on it, and immediately started cleaning up the messy kitchen. His brothers never cleaned after themselves, they hadn't as far as Tommy could remember. In all fairness to them, it gave Tommy more things to do in order to try and desperately win the love of his family.
His hands tightened around the damp rag in his hand.
Why didn't his family love him yet? What was he missing? He'd done everything he could. And yet, it wasn't enough. It never was. That witch was cruel. Sadistic, even.
Why would you ever put a child in the position to realize how unlovable he is?
He left the kitchen half clean before running out into the snow outside. He didn't want to clean right now. There wasn't a point.
The feathers were getting closer to the house lately. Instead of finding them deep in the forest he'd find them closer to the treeline. He wasn't sure if he should be scared or not.
But instead, he shook the thoughts from his head and turned towards the village. He didn't want to admit it, but Tubbo had wormed his way into Tommy's heart. He was lovable guy, honestly.
He didn't have to go very far though, because a certain goat hybrid shoved into him and grab his hand before he could fully process it.
"Wha- What the fuck are you doing?!" The blonde shouted, his legs kicking in to keep up.
"C'mon! Let's go to the hill!" Tubbo shouted back in response.
"It- it's fuckin freezing what?!" Tommy's face must look ridiculous right now.
"It's not that bad!" And before they be knew it, both boys were tumbling uphill, giggling as they threw small handfuls of snow at eachother on the way.
"You better run, bitch!" Tommy yelled, immediately tackling down the goat boy into the snow at the top of the hill, at this point his ribs hurt from laughing.
God, he was so happy right now. He never felt like this before. It was so nice to actually have a friend.
After sitting up properly, shaking the snow from his hair, Tommy actually turn to face his friend. "So.. why'd ya wanna come up here?" He asked, furrowing his brows.
"You're just- You seemed like you needed some space, man. That village is busy and everytime you're there you just look so...tired." Tubbo responded back, coughing a little bit after the sentence.
"You sick?"
"No, it's just cold. Don't avoid the conversation, man." Tubbo tilted his head at him.
"..Yeah fine. To be honest it's kinda just been my scapegoat from home."
"Why?"
"..I don't like it there. It's just.. it doesn't feel like they love me." He decided to go with that phrasing instead of explaining the curse. It's too unbelievable at this point.
Tubbo just hummed. Tommy was more than glad to avoid the conversation from there.