Chapter Text
Knowing he needed to talk to Magnus, Alec hadn’t been able to get a restful night’s sleep after all they’d done. He’d found himself up early, watching the man he loved sleep beside him, the gentle rise and fall of his chest contrasting his own pounding heart.
He… hadn’t had a rut yet. Which meant that they couldn’t fully become mates. And the thought of something being wrong… terrified him.
He knew Magnus wanted his mating bite already. Wanted to be mates. He’d said so last night, with a kind of yearning that made Alec want to give him anything.
But… why hadn’t his ruts started? Was there something wrong with him? Most Alphas had it by the time they were 18. He was 19. Well into his 19th year.
What if there was something wrong? What if he never had a rut? What if he never got to sport a mating bite? Or have a mate?
Was this his life? To know that his soulmate rested next to him but never know what that bond felt like?
It wasn’t fair. Not to him or Magnus. He deserved to wear a mating bite proudly. Alec’s bite. He deserved that bond and the protection that came with it.
What if Alec couldn't give it to him? Ever?
Never in his life had he felt like such a failure- not in any competitions that he’d taken part in- than he did at that moment.
“Al-exander?” came Magnus’ hoarse murmur. “What’s wrong?”
Great. Now his thoughts and anxieties had woken Magnus. Couldn’t he do anything right?
“Nothing. Go back to sleep baby” he tried to assure.
Which only seemed to make Magnus more alert, his eyes blinking before landing on Alec with a sharper focus.
“Talk to me,” he said quietly.
Alec let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. He felt Magnus’ arms wound around him, seeking to offer comfort.
“Did… were you uncomfortable with anything we did last night?” Magnus asked gently.
“No. Not at all. I loved it. All of it,” he assured.
“Okay. But what’s bothering you now?”
“Magnus…” Alec whispered, swallowing down a lump in his throat. His eyes began to sting as somehow… this admitting of what a failure he was, to Magnus of all people, made him feel even worse.
“Hey. Please. Talk to me. You’re making me worried.”
“I. Um. I… Magnus… what if I can’t be your Alpha?”
“What?!”
It was the spike of fear in Magnus that caused him to realise he’d screwed up. He needed to phrase that better.
“No no. I want to. It’s just… I haven’t had a single rut. I think… there’s something wrong with me.”
“Oh. Oh. Shit. It never struck me. We… Alphas should get it by 18 right?” Magnus asked, his hands tightening on Alec’s back as he tried to push Alec towards his scent glands, and Alec allowed himself to be gently cajoled there, knowing he needed and wanted that comfort.
“Yeah. Most do,” he replied quietly, feeling Magnus’ hand stroke his back.
“Have you… heard of anyone not having it?”
“I… did some research. Apparently, there are instances when it can start late. But it’s rare. It’s more likely that… I may never get a rut. Which means that…” I’m defective.
He felt Magnus go rigid against him when the realisation struck him.
“Shit.”
“I’m so sorry Magnus. I’m so fucking sorry,” he hoarsely said as his voice cracked. He felt tears escape then and he couldn’t do anything to stem it, knowing that Magnus would feel it too.
“Alexander. No. You have nothing to be sorry about okay? You’re perfect . There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are my mate . I don’t care if we don’t have the bite or if we don’t have the mating or soul bond. I know it. And you know it. And nothing changes that,” he firmly stressed.
“But… you can’t possibly say you don’t want…”
“No. I just need you. And to be bonded to you in every way possible. If we can’t do it this way… it’s okay. I know that I’m your soulmate. And you know that you’re mine. I don’t care if we need to get matching bite tattoos or something if you want that. As long as I get to spend my life with you… I’ll probably be happier than I ever have been.”
He couldn’t stop the stream of tears, feeling both grateful and equally devastated.
“I really want to be your Alpha.”
“You are.”
“And have you wear my bite.”
Magnus was quiet then, probably not knowing what to say. What could he say that he hadn’t already?
“Maybe… we could talk to Mama? Or see a doctor?” Magnus then suggested.
“I... Yeah. That sounds… I like the sound of that,” he said hoarsely.
“Okay. Good. And know that… you only need to do this, if you want to okay? Don’t do this for me. I’ll be happy as long as I have you in my life. If you want to do this… make sure it’s because you want it. I’m more than happy with just waiting to see if it happens and if it doesn’t… that’s alright too.”
“Thank you. I… I am. For me. I need this too. And I think I need to know. One way or another, I need to know. This waiting thing… it makes it hard to process anything. So I hope somehow, I get to find out.”
“Okay. You won’t be doing this alone.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning back to kiss Magnus gratefully.
“Oh. I’m so sorry Alec. I should have asked. I always assumed…” Maryse trailed off, looking at the both of them.
After they’d said they wanted to talk to her, she’d offered to come by that day itself, probably reading their situation well. When had either of them actually requested if they could talk to her?
“What did you assume?” Alec asked quietly, his hand holding on to Magnus’. Magnus was running his thumb over his soothingly, trying to offer some comfort and also calm him.
“I… thought you both were already spending it together. I… tried to take a step back once I realised you were soulmates. My only worry had always been consent… and once I knew it was there… I didn’t ask for more details. I… should have. I always ask about Omegas but… I-” she broke off, seemingly lost in thought.
“It’s okay,” Alec whispered, assuring her. Magnus nodded along, confirming that.
“What… what can we do now?” Magnus asked, trying to push the conversation back to why they had come to her in the first place. For advice.
“May I ask you some questions?” she asked softly. “It can be… personal.”
“Yeah,” Alec said, nodding.
“Alec… Have you ever felt… extra urges? When you both…”
Really? Wow. Okay. Personal for sure. Alec knew he’d turned red fast but he swallowed and tried to focused on why they were even having this conversation.
“Um. I- Um. Sometimes? When I think of…” he trailed off not wanting to talk about the things Magnus said and did that made him have said urges. This was… Maryse. Mama. God. Were they really talking about him getting horny?
He felt Magnus squeeze his hand and he gripped it harder, not turning to look at him right then. Having this conversation was making him feel all kinds of exposed. And maybe… not in a good way too.
“Okay. But is there a difference from your normal urges?” she continued.
How did he answer that? He did get hard when he thought about Magnus. When he was with Magnus… sometimes it was stronger. And ever since they’d explored that side of them… the urges were always there with different intensities but… how did he know if it was what she was asking?
“I really don’t know,” he admitted, looking down at his hands.
“Okay. Okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“And when the two of you… does it always feel the same?”
Fuck him. Really?
“What- I.”
“It’s okay Alec. Just say it,” Magnus whispered, leaning closer to kiss his cheek.
Alec turned to face him then, his eyes desperately travelling all over his face. Magnus gave him a reassuring nod, but he noted an equally flushed face.
He could do this.
“Um. It’s really intense. It’s always been intense. But… we haven’t-”
“Okay. I get it. You don’t have to say more,” Maryse quickly said, and Alec swore he could see a faint reddening in her cheeks as well. “You really have two options. One is to wait a little more. And the other is to see a doctor.”
They both nodded, having come to that conclusion themselves too.
“I… want to see a doc,” he quietly said.
“Okay. I can recommend someone to you. And go with you if you need me to. But I have to caution you too. This process… might not be easy. I’m not a doctor. But based on what I’ve seen or heard… it involves tests, and then hormone pills which could… have side effects too. In some cases… that may involve getting it done through an IV drip.”
Alec swallowed heavily, closing his eyes as he took in that information. He had a choice, he knew. But if there was something wrong with him… he wanted to know. He wanted to be able to fix it. Not knowing if he was defective… he couldn’t bear that. And this… this was a solution. A hard one. But a solution.
“Alexander. Alpha. I’m here whatever you decide,” came Magnus’ soft assurance as he guided Alec’s face towards him. It was only when he opened his eyes that he realised that they were covered with a sheen of tears. He knew what Magnus was saying. He’d be there even if Alec was defective. He’d be there to support him if Alec went through the treatment. He’d be there no matter what.
“We both are,” Maryse assured, coming round to place her hand on his back.
“I’d like to see the doc,” he said with confidence he didn’t feel.
“Okay. I’ll make some calls and help you make that appointment?” Maryse asked.
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Will you send me the doctor’s details too?” Magnus asked and Maryse assured him she would.
They sat together for a while, in quiet company, soothing Alec and allowing him to calm. Maryse ordered them dinner that night, knowing exactly what would cause a smile on their faces.
Pizza- invoking a long-standingfull-body debate of whether pineapples should actually belong on a pizza. Sometimes, you needed a friend to talk to to improve your mood. Other times… it was pineapple on pizza- whether you ate it or not.
They ordered it without though, since Alec didn’t like it usually and Magnus was trying to cheer him up.
When she left, the two of them were cuddled on a sofa, with Magnus running his fingers through Alec’s hair as they watched a comedy, waiting for their food to arrive.
Magnus could tell that Alec was extremely nervous the night before his first doctor’s appointment. His eyes kept flitting around the room, his movements seemed jerkier and his mind… not quite present. He needed to help him, soothe him and he wasn’t sure what to do too. There was no way he could not be nervous but… this wasn’t good too?
“Alexander,” he called out, meeting his eyes from where he was trying to make them dinner in the kitchen.
“Hey.”
“Here. Let me take over,” Magnus offered, reaching for the noodles.
“No. I can do it. It’s fine Magnus. I’m fine.”
“You’re not, and that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend. Not with me,” he said quietly.
Alec’s sigh was heavy and turmoiled as he closed his eyes, allowing Magnus to reach for his shoulder in comfort.
“I just… I’m nervous. And scared,” Alec admitted and Magnus guided him to put down the food he was holding.
“I know. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. I’m here for you,” he assured.
“Thank you.”
“And I meant what I said before. Even if you never have a rut… it’ll be okay. We’ll still be mates. We can even tattoo matching bites if you want. I know that there are some tattoo artists online that make it look pretty real. We could do that too. We are mates. This… doesn’t change that,” he finished as Alec's eyes roamed his face to ascertain if what he was saying was the truth.
“I… I think I’d like that.”
“Good. Now please, can I help you cook?” he asked again, wiggling his eyebrows and Alec gave in with a huff.
“Sure. Here. Boil the noodles,” he said wryly, and Magnus happily took over that, allowing Alec to make the sauce for it.
Throughout dinner, Magnus devised a plan of helping Alec relax, and this time, he held out a hand and guided him towards their room.
“Magnus?” he asked, wanting to know what was happening.
“Shh. Trust me?”
“Always.”
Once they entered their room, Magnus looked at him and gently ordered him. “Strip.”
“Wha-”
“I’m giving you a massage.”
“Oh.” That… sounded nice.
Alec pulled off his shirt and shorts easily, but yet still blushed as he hesitated with his underwear. “Should I leave this on?”
“I’d rather it be off. But if you’re uncomfortable…”
Alec took it off quickly, even as the colour on his cheeks deepened further. He didn’t know why… but being naked while Magnus was fully clothed… got to him.
Maybe Magnus realised it… because his fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and began unbuttoning them one by one. His eyes… immediately flew to his hands, graceful as they worked.
“Why don’t you lie down?”
If he stared at Magnus any longer… he knew exactly which parts of his body would wake up and… he had nowhere to hide. He quickly climbed onto the bed and lay face down, head facing away from Magnus’ sculpted body as he drew in deep, calming breaths.
He heard Magnus walking around the room, and closed his eyes, giving in to whatever he was about to receive. He just… needed something to take his mind off everything. The constant worry, the fear of never being good enough. He hated it. He wanted to be good enough for Magnus.
“There we go,” Magnus murmured, and Alec soon realised that he’d lit a candle, lavender and vanilla? Yup.
A few seconds later, music came on as Magnus chose a playlist that sounded like it was made for spas, made to relax someone. The room then darkened, with only the light from the candle giving some slight visibility.
“This is nice,” he said softly.
“Darling, I haven’t even touched you,” Magnus commented lightly.
Why did he have to phrase it like that? Why couldn’t he have said ‘I haven’t even begun to massage you?’ Touching meant… Touching was more open. And he was bare-ass naked.
He heard Magnus rubbing his hands together before they worked on his right calf, in slow, soothing strokes. Groaning at the delightful pressure, he slumped further into the bed, allowing the tension to release.
Magnus didn’t speak, he used his hands skillfully to knead and firmly stroke before using his forearm as well, earning himself another moan from Alec.
“Your hands… are magical.”
“Why thank you, darling,” he said huskily, before continuing his movements and moving on to his other leg, taking his time to slowly soothe him.
Alec was… drifting. Floating. It was so easy to do it and for once, his mind went blank, a peaceful silence that he hadn’t been able to achieve recently.
The only time he became more alert was when Magnus moved to straddle his legs, and his hands glided over his butt without any warning, causing him to tense immediately.
“What-”
“Relax. Feels good doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, continuing his strokes around his firm flesh. It felt… good in a non-sexual way. As long as his mind didn’t go there. And if he was being honest, it hurt slightly- there was some tension build-up.
“Y-yeah.”
“Relax Alexander,” he commanded gently, and Alec groaned into the pillow again.
Soon, his hands were gliding up over his back as he moved higher to straddle his butt, causing Alec to force his mind to focus on his hands and not where he rested. If he wanted to… he could…
No. Not the time. Not yet. Eventually maybe. But not now.
His thumbs ran over his shoulder blade and the sides of his spine in quick, firm motions and Alec sighed. “This feels amazing.”
“Good. This in particular?”
“Yeah.”
Magnus, the angel that he was, kept it up for longer to let Alec enjoy it more before moving on to the other side of his back and neck, before working him with his forearms and elbows once again.
Why he did this so well… he would never know. He’d thank god every day though, that he got to have this.
“Turn around love,” Magnus whispered and Alec slowly turned around, his nakedness suddenly seeming more pronounced than before.
He needn’t have worried because he soon felt himself being covered with what looked like one of their hand towels. Magnus began on his arms then, and he wondered why Magnus massaging his hands and arms felt extra intimate. He was gentler there and it felt wonderful.
The last part… were the front of his legs, beginning with his feet. A foot massage was a luxury that he fully soaked in.
But then… Magnus’ hands slowly began working their way up his legs. And he… couldn’t help but notice how close to a certain area they were. Inching closer, teasing almost.
He opened his eyes and shut them immediately when he saw the towel tenting. Fuck.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about darling.”
“Sorry. I can’t help it.”
“It’s a perfectly healthy response, love. And if you want… I’ll help you with that after too,” he added, smirking at Alec when his eyes opened.
Alec threw an arm over his face as Magnus continued on his other leg, slowly moving closer to that tent. It was as if his dick just wanted to say hello. To those graceful hands of his.
Fuck.
Swallowing heavily, he tried to take calming breaths to relax but Magnus’ offer was still fresh on his mind. He wanted to… help.
Fuck.
“May I?” he then heard, and opened his eyes to see Magnus gesturing at the towel, his pupils dilated and his voice, deeper.
Alec nodded shakily and the towel was pulled off, exposing himself fully to Magnus’ gaze.
“I… want to try something. You… can refuse.”
“What… did you have in mind?”
“My mouth.”
AKFAKLEFGJKLAGNV
His breath hitched as he met Magnus’ eyes with his own widened, but Magnus only exuded calm confidence, waiting for his permission.
“O-okay.”
His grin… was quick and wicked as he began to kiss near the V of his legs, soft brushes with his lips that caused Alec to gasp. The small kisses travelled slowly to his dick before he began to kiss it from the base to the head. Every touch of his mouth caused his breath to hitch, and his hands clenched the sheets next to him.
But when his mouth met the head of his cock, that was when he let out a full body shudder at the touch that he desperately wanted and yet was not enough.
“Please,” he babbled unwittingly.
“What do you need, Alpha?” Magnus asked, his voice husky.
Alec wanted to say so much. Taste me. Suck me. Take me into your mouth. But somehow the words were stuck in his throat and he just couldn’t say it.
“Please,” he begged again.
“I’ve got you,” Magnus assured, soothing him with his hands, understanding in eyes. He didn’t push him, not this time, and Alec was grateful for it.
His lips gently closed over the head of his cock and Alec cursed softly, trying to wrap his head around the sensation of that small suck and the way his tongue drifted out to taste and feel him.
“Oh god,” he whispered hoarsely.
Magnus allowed his lips to sink lower, encapsulating more of his throbbing cock before he gagged slightly and withdrew, looking at him apologetically. “Sorry.”
“No. Please. This is new. It’s fine. Don’t push k?” Alec said quickly, encouraging Magnus. It felt absolutely divine and there was nothing Magnus needed to apologise for.
Magnus took him in his warm mouth again, moving as low as he could before coming up, his lips closing around him firmly as they coaxed a shocked moan from Alec, flooding him with an intensity of sensation he hadn’t felt before. Why was this so different? So unexpected?
The prickling, frisson of desire was ravaging him as Magnus’ tongue swirled around his head before engulfing as much of his cock as he could, and Alec quivered, inhaling sharply as he surrendered to his administrations.
When his hands wrapped around whatever he couldn’t take in his mouth, Alec let out a loud gasp, his passion consuming him as he writhed and fought desperately not to thrust into Magnus’ mouth, knowing that he’d gag.
The drag of his swollen lips and his hooded eyes were a mesmerising sight, one that Alec swore he would never forget.
His moans echoed in the room as Magnus’ mouth grazed and skimmed over his cock, claiming him in one more way, causing him to shudder at the intensity of everything. He was so close and he just… shit he needed to ask.
“Magnus. I… I’m close. You… You sure?” he stammered, the question in his eyes clear.
Magnus blinked and tried to nod to give his affirmation and Alec cursed again, groaning at the perfection that was his mate.
“Fuck. Yes. God Magnus. I… Just like that,” he gasped wildly, and with one firm stroke from his hands and the way his tongue whirled around his head, Alec exploded, filling Magnus’ mouth with his seed.
Magnus slowed down then, savouring the taste of him and milking him until Alec begged him to stop. Only then did he let go with a soft pop, and Alec groaned again at the very visible swallow that Magnus did.
“Fuck.”
“You taste exquisite.”
“You. Magnus. You…”
“I like you speechless,” Magnus said hoarsely.
“Come here,” Alec guided, pulling him up towards him and kissing him firmly, tasting a little of himself as he did so.
“Thank you. May I?”
“You don’t have to. I wanted you to relax. And I wanted to take care of you too.”
“Magnus…”
“You could drift off very easily right now, yes?” he then asked and Alec knew the answer was yes.
“ But… we could drift off together,” he said instead. “Please.”
He saw the moment Magnus gave in, the acquiescence appearing in his eyes.
Quickly, before he changed his mind, Alec had him on his back and removed his briefs, flinging it behind him. Magnus was already hard and leaking, an after effect of Alec’s own pleasure, he assumed.
So, Alec did the only thing he could, he dived right in, taking him in his mouth as well before sinking down easily, bobbing his head as he showed Magnus exactly how good this felt.
Magnus hoarse shout only encouraged him, and he was merciless in pleasuring his omega, in giving back all that he’d given him.
He used his tongue, lips and even teeth to gently graze his head, making Magnus toss his head as incoherent sounds escaped him. One of his hands caressed his balls, while the other ran over his body, heading straight towards his nipples. His gasp was loud when Alec tweaked his nipple and sucked on his head at the same time.
“Alexander. Alpha. Fuck. I can’t. You-”
He let go for a moment, looking straight into Magnus’ eyes as he spoke as firmly as he could without making it an order. “Come for me, baby.”
It only took a few seconds for Magnus to explode in his mouth, his body arching off the bed as he did so with a muffled shout.
He sucked on his head a little, taking in all of his release, understanding now how hot it was to savour it and swallow. The taste… wasn’t unpleasant but seeing and knowing Magnus like this? Fuck. There was nothing he wouldn’t do, he thought as he swallowed, watching as Magnus lay panting on the bed.
He was beautiful.
Pulling him close, they wrapped themselves around each other and just allowed Magnus to calm.
“I think you killed me.”
“Oh yeah? Shall I test to see him you’re alive?” Alec teased, his hand inching lower suggestively only to be smacked and grabbed by Magnus who brought it up to safer zones.
“I’m alive.”
“Excellent.”
“That was…”
“I know.”
“Magical,” he sighed.
“I know.”
“You know… the best part of all that we did is… we don’t exactly need to clean up.”
A snort escaped him before it turned into a chuckle as he gazed at Magnus tenderly.
“Thank you. For all that,” Alec murmured.
“It was quite literally my pleasure, darling,” he teased, earning a smack on his butt from Alec.
The doctor’s appointment was today and Alec was very obviously nervous with his pacing and wringing of his hands. He only calmed when Magnus grabbed his hands and told him to breathe and reminded him that they’d face it all together.
Heading into the clinic, they were shown into the doctor’s office rather quickly which was a good thing, Magnus supposed, as it didn’t give Alec’s nerves to build up once again.
They explained the situation to the doctor who looked at them with sympathy before going through the various steps that they could take.
“First, we just need to take your height, weight and some blood which we’ll send for testing to determine your hormone amounts. Based on that, we’ll know what actions to take. Most likely, depending on which hormone you might be lacking, the next step is to take pills for that. And hope that your rut starts. If it doesn’t within three months, we might need to put you on more advanced hormone medication that is stronger so that it can help trigger it. But… sometimes they do have side effects,” he explained slowly, pausing to look at the both of them.
Magnus had Alec’s hand firmly in his grip and he’d pressed himself against his side, offering all that he could of himself at that moment, hoping it helped soothe his Alpha even in the tiniest bit.
“What side effects?” Magnus asked.
“Nausea, vomiting mainly. It might be hard for him to keep food down so that would need to be monitored. As with all hormone pills, his emotions may be affected too, and he might find himself rather emotional at times- which is normal.”
They both stared at each other and Magnus looked at Alec with slight worry, wanting to let him know again that he didn’t have to do this, but understanding that he wanted to as well. So he didn’t say anything, allowing Alec to make that call for himself.
“I… want to.”
“These are possible steps of course. The other option is to wait it out,” the doctor added.
“No. I… I want to know.”
“Okay then. We’ll need to take some blood today then,” the doctor said, and Magnus felt Alec clench his hand a little tighter before nodding jerkily.
Had he ever had blood drawn from him? He didn’t think so. In the grand scheme of things… it didn’t seem like much but even Magnus was uncomfortable at having that done.
The doctor nodded at the nurse, who guided Alec and Magnus towards another room where they would take his readings.
“Would you like to wait outside?” she asked Magnus.
He felt Alec’s hold tighten as he spoke firmly. “No. I’ll stay with him.” His hold relaxed somewhat again.
Alec was made to change into a hospital gown before his height and weight were taken first. Then, he was tasked to lie down as the nurse got ready to draw blood. She’d gotten five vials and set it up, much to Alec and Magnus’ astonishment. And fear. Magnus was already putting an arm around him and pressing close even as he asked the nurse about it.
“How much blood do you need?” he asked.
“I know. And I’m sorry. But unfortunately, we need all five vials. We use it to test for different hormones that may be hampering his ability to get a rut,” she explained gently.
Alec swallowed hard and nodded, closing his eyes and leaning against Magnus.
“Okay first one now,” she indicated, and though Alec didn’t watch, Magnus did and knew that exact time that it pierced his skin, emphasised by the way he jerked against him as well. His hand immediately cradled his head against him, gently running his fingers over his scalp.
“Okay. All done. The second one now,” she said softly and Alec’s other arm came up to hold on to Magnus’ jacket tightly.
The third one… Magnus could swear he felt Alec’s tears against his shirt and he hated that he couldn’t do more to help him. When it was finally over, the nurse told them that they could take all the time they needed and left the room.
Magnus hugged him tightly then, comforting him and assuring him at the same time. He hadn’t looked at Alec’s face yet but he was trembling slightly and held him through that until it stopped, only then did he lean back and look at his face.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it bad?”
“Hurt more after the first one.”
“Wish I could have done more for you.”
“No. I just needed you here that’s all.”
“Good. Shall we head home and order whatever you want? Preferably something meaty to gain back your strength?”
“Yeah okay. Steaks?”
Steaks it was then.