OH NO, I didn't mean to tell you off! I just wanted to thank you for letting us know. Please don't get me wrong. I never knew about this meaning of blue hearts. I use them because blue is my favourite color (as you can probably tell from my username). In daily life, I also use blue hearts more than red ones because red feels more romantic. Blue hearts feel more neutral and friendly to me and I can send to everyone, even those who are not that close to me. Since I use them so often, they show up in my frequently used emojis, and I just click on them for comments. I had no idea about this negative meaning! T_T And of course I believe you; my replies were never meant to dispute, criticize, or judge you.
I also wanted to ask if this is specific to the Chinese fandom? I noticed your works are based on Chinese dramas. As a Chinese writer and reader myself, I am truly sorry that you've had to deal with those bad comments. Please don't feel bad for them. They are just attention seekers.
I didn't think you were harshing me, so no worries :) You were the kindest of everyone who's responded to me, so that's why I gave my explanation to you instead of everyone separately. I saw you were considerate and thoughtful about the matter, and took into account both sides--that of the writer and the commenter. Most people who replied to this got upset in a way that assumed I was being unfair, didn't take the commenter into account, etc. when I definitely was (hence my distress at not knowing if someone was legit, and my giving them the benefit of the doubt by assuming a language barrier or something else). As someone who writes in small fandoms, I do consider comments precious, and am predisposed towards thinking positively about the commenters' intentions. But at the same time, my experiences of spam and trolls are very real, too.
So, yeah, it's a bummer, isn't it? I mean, I don't want to harsh anyone if they're legit, but spammers/trolls like that exist, so it's sad. Like, I totally get if someone hasn't got the spoons or the language facility or whatever to leave a more elaborate comment, but then, commenters can't help what the writer's background and experience is either. You never know if someone has serious PTSD and has been bullied viciously online (if you're in Chinese fandom, I'm sure you know exactly how nasty and toxic stuff can get, especially in East Asian fandoms). Or maybe the writer has had stalkers who have left cryptic comments consisting just of some emoji, or maybe *they* themselves don't have the spoons to deal with potentially dodgy comments and thus, are over-careful, etc. So we have to be aware of that.
Ideally, we should consider both sides: not just what we are feeling but what the person on the other end may be feeling. I think that in fandom, since so many of us are hugely introverted, neuroatypical, autistic etc., we so often get caught up in our own experience that we forget to step outside of that, forget to take a moment out to consider the other person's POV. I think that what's often (rather cruelly, IMHO) assumed to be a "lack of empathy" on the part of autistics is more like autistics feeling super-intensely about everything so that they "forget" what the other person may be feeling, or maybe they're so overwhelmed by their own feelings that--*even* while being aware that the other person may be uncomfortable--they still feel this huge pressure to express that feeling and say whatever's on their mind anyway. But there's no harm meant by that. So I get the "I want to say the things I want to say, and in the way I want, dammit!" responses, too. But stepping outside of one's own experience is also necessary.
So I'm hugely aware of all sides of this equation, just so everybody knows. I want to be clear about that. I'm not the only person to point out the "row of emoji" thing being used by spammers to lure people into chatting, so it's honestly not me being mean; it's just something that happens. So to everyone who defends their way of commenting with emoji? Ok, do your thing, but also be aware that that runs the risk of being thought of as a spammer or a troll, and that if someone refuses to publish your comment, there's no meanness intended.
And thank you for telling me what you mean by blue hearts--that's fascinating! I can see why someone would think of the red hearts as almost flirty or something, and would choose the blue as a more neutral colour. The negative connotations seem to be more *fandom-specific,* but I honestly can't pinpoint a specific culture, whether it's Asian or Russian or whatever, so I think it's more of a fandom rather than a cultural thing. I forget the places I found the explanations on because it was a while ago, but those discussions were in English. It was to do with people attacking sexually explicit fics, though, at least in some cases, but not just those--it was this general disapproval of something, like you'd "flag" a fic with blue hearts if you wanted people to avoid those fics or shun the writer. It wasn't the The Longest Day In Chang'an fandom (which is the only Chinese fandom I've written in so far), as far as I know. But ah well.
Thank you again for your kindness; I'm very sorry (duìbùqǐ!) if I came across as harsh towards you. I'm replying to you on behalf of everyone in this thread, so please don't take it as a criticism of you or anything! <3
Yes you are right. We need awareness on both sides. I almost wish the OTW would publish a notice on this. It is not much to ask to leave emojis of another color if blue hearts are easily misinterpreted, and making that small change would be a simple way to foster clearer communication. Of course, a commenter should be free to comment with emojis, but it's fair and important for them to know that, due to the actions of spammers, their comment might occasionally be misread. A writer should be free to curate their comment section for their own peace of mind, and it's important to remember that such moderation is not a personal rejection of a well-meaning reader.
I hate how fanfiction, which should be a way to express love for our characters, can sometimes be misused as a platform to attack others by shitty people. This is absolutely wrong.
Wishing you all the best in your writing and fandom experiences, and hoping you receive many wonderfully kind comments that bring you only joy.
I can't believe some are criticizing you for this. It's obviously just a matter of perspective. Thank you for pointing it out!
Gosh, you're nice ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for getting it and seeing both sides of the equation, instead of just reading me in bad faith. I always try to keep in mind that I don't know the other person's background, whatever side I'm on: I've seen so many terrible fanwars that I know there are people with serious PTSD from that stuff out there, and I know people who've had stalkers (and one person I knew even committed suicide due to online bullying in fandom). So there are very good reasons for some people to be cautious (us darkfic-leaning writers even more so, due to the hostility we get from time to time). And again, it's not like people don't have the power over the formatting of their own comments, for crying out loud. That's the thing we do have power over, even when we don't know the other person's background.
And conversely, someone's background, or the behaviour of spammers and trolls is not something we can do much about. Like, I used to know a really popular writer who got many comments but never bothered responding to them, but that had nothing to do with PTSD--it was just her genuinely not understanding how rude or hurtful that could be to the commenters who bothered to leave really nice comments. But that was a matter of her neurology; it was the kind of "forgetfulness" I mentioned earlier. On the other hand, I've seen people who've had to disable comments entirely thanks to trolls and spammers. And then there are people who are really lovely and respond effusively to any comment you leave. I tend to shower commenters with love, and generally do give people the benefit of the doubt--so it's extra hilarious that some people on this thread think I'm being mean, over a case that was totally different. I forgot to say that later, I checked the account that'd left the suspicious comments, and it'd been deleted. So, yeah...
So, you never know, and the only thing you can have control over is how you yourself come across.
And you come across in the most lovely and understanding of ways. I wish excellent stories and excellent comments and excellent people and everything to you, too. Have yourself some more hearts! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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