I Love You So Much It Scares Me Half To Death

Series Metadata

Creator:
Series Begun:
2025-08-28
Series Updated:
2025-12-26
Description:

The Losers have been through a lot. They’ve got a lot on their plates–PTSD, OCD, autism, ADHD, anxiety, substance abuse, an eating disorder, grief, shame, insomnia, depression… some of them are even queer. This is a story about them learning to take care of each other, spanning their childhood, their reunion, and the life they build together in the aftermath. Part 1 is 70% banter, 30% angst. Part 2 is 70% angst, 30% banter. Part 3 is a solid 50/50. Series title comes from "Um, It's Kind of A Lot" by Will Wood.

Notes:

Things you should know getting into this:
(1) Parts 1 and 2 are technically canon-compliant. Part 3 is a post-canon Eddie-lives AU.
(2) Mike is a touchy-feely sweetheart twenty-five times. Someone unknowingly references Eddie’s alternate-universe death thirteen times. Richie cries seventeen times. I make myself cry seven times.
(3) You don’t need to have read the book to enjoy this fic, but I do reference it a lot. The characterizations of both Stan and Mike draw heavily from the book. Richie is also more of a blend between the book and movie versions, especially as a kid.
(4) This is a reddie fic, but the Point is that they all love each other. They Are Friends. That is the Point. There are sideplots about it.
(5) I don’t particularly care about Bill, but these chucklefucks seem to see something in him so I gave him a chance or two.
(6) There’s a lot of fatphobia, racism, misogyny, and and general ickiness in Stephen King’s work (both depicted and perpetuated by the narrative) but I have done my best to make this fic a safe space, because it’s no fun to read about your faves being fatphobic, even if the characters originally are. There are a couple exceptions to this—if Richie never made risque jokes, would he be Richie?—and there’s certainly a lot of angst around these hard subjects, but I tried to be sensitive with it. The big one is internalized homophobia. You will come across that.
(7) That being said. like half of this fic is angst specifically related to grief. There’s so much grief and guilt and heartbreak in this fic. They love each other so much that it scares them half to death, and people have a lot of reactions to both fear and death, as we’ve learned!
(8) Do not expect the plot to move quickly… much like the original source material and the Muschietti movies, we are not editing for brevity here lol
(9) This could honestly be a screenplay with how much of it is dialogue
(10) I do not have medical knowledge of any kind. If you do have medical knowledge, have mercy on me
(11) I was not alive in the 80s. I did my best

Stats:
Words:
154,805
Works:
3
Complete:
No
Bookmarks:
20

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