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  1. 1

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    Ilya jerks his head upright, a little bit like a meerkat or groundhog, his hair an absolute bird’s nest. Shane dutifully ignores how cute he looks and waits until he sees Ilya’s eyes actually focus on him.
    “I grew a vagina overnight.”
    “Let me see,” Ilya says immediately.
    “No!”
    Ilya rubs at his eye. “You are gay, how do you know what a pussy looks like?”

     

    Shane wakes up with a pussy, and it's all Ilya's fault.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,613
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    11
  2. 55

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    Hazy: Happy birthday, Roz!

    Bood: Happy birthday, Cap!

    Barrett: Happy birthday!!

    Dykstra: It’s your birthday!

    Haas: Happy birthday, Captain! You are the most wonderful hockey player and leader, and I hope today is your best birthday yet ❤️

    Ilya: Well, it’s not, so your wishes mean nothing.

    Bood: Okay. Well.
    Bood: Looks like we are feeling a bit dramatic today.

    Hazy: Do you want to expand, or how can we best support you?

    Ilya: I will expand even though it is incredibly painful to do so.

    Barrett: Oh, goody.

    Ilya: My husband.
    Ilya: Shane Hollander.
    Ilya: The supposed love of my life.
    Ilya: The holder of my heart and half of my assets.
    Ilya: The future father of my children and feeder of my dog.
    Ilya: Forgot my birthday.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,981
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    1,353
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    5,952
  3. 36

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    During a perfectly normal study session, Colin asks what he swears is an innocent question.

    Because it seems like having built-in pillows on one’s chest would make laying on one’s stomach and studying for an upcoming English exam almost comfortable.

    Then Penelope invites him to see for himself exactly how comfortable it is, and Colin’s afternoon takes a decidedly unexpected turn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,867
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    238
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    1,526
  4. 22

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,841
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1,078
  5. 18

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    "You!" He pointed at Yoo Joonghyuk accusingly. "Do you keep asking me all these weird questions because you're sizing up the competition?"

    A crack appeared in Yoo Joonghyuk's composure. Kim Dokja couldn't quite identify it before it vanished. Whatever it was, it had been triggered by an accusation that was both wrong and alarmingly close to the truth.

    "And if I am?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked quietly, recovering from his momentary lapse.

    Kim Dokja let out a triumphant laugh, throwing his head back against the headrest of his chair. "I knew i—"

    "But not in the way you're thinking," Yoo Joonghyuk cut him off.

    Kim Dokja’s triumphant laugh choked instantly in his throat.

    Kim Dokja is convinced Yoo Joonghyuk has a crush on his best friend, Han Sooyoung. As a responsible friend, he decides to help his intimidating roommate win her over. It goes exactly as well as you think it does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,587
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    719
  6. 28

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    Bruce just wants to go home and sleep a full 8 hours for once, so you'll have to forgive his audible grumble when Oliver Queen walks to the front of the room where most of the leaguers are gathered. He does not want to deal with the emerald archers post mission dramatics.

    "Hey everyone, I know were all running on fumes after that battle, but these crisis situations tend to make people romantic."

    Oh God, if he has to witness another vow renewal between Oliver and Dinah, if he has to buy one more toaster oven for the pair, he might collapse on the spot.

    "My son, Arsenal-Roy, as you all know, is getting married." That brought Bruce's thoughts away from Ollie shoving his tongue down the blonde's throat and making off with his kitchen appliances.

    Roy Harper was getting married? To who?

    or

    After an all hands on deck just league mission, Bruce gets invited to a wedding; little does he know that his son is the one getting married.
    And there's a bet going around about how long he'll take to figure it out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,788
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1,119
  7. 9

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    Summary

    Five times sex went a little awry, and one time it didn't matter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    904
  8. *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    887
    Kudos:
    15,564
    Bookmarks:
    2,955
    Hits:
    88,381
  9. 1

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    Kenny McCormick died during Kyle Broflovski's 10th birthday, yet no one remembers, not even Kenny. With everyone questioning his sanity and institutionalization closing in, Kyle forms an unlikely alliance with the last person he'd ever trust, the biggest asshole in South Park:

    Eric Cartman

    In his desperate search for the truth, will Cartman prove to be his lifeline...or downfall?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,623
    Chapters:
    2/11
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  10. 22

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    Caitlyn Kiramman is used to handling fragile artifacts. What she isn’t used to is a red haired chef walking into her kitchen one morning.
    Hired by Caitlyn’s girlfriend, Maddie, for a “romantic” private dinner, Vi is everything Caitlyn usually avoids: shy, unpredictable, way too easy to read.
    But Vi is hot. And Caitlyn quickly realises Vi’s more than capable of holding her own.
    So as the hours pass, Caitlyn accepts that Vi might just have become the main course.
    AU:
    Vi is a private chef. Maddie hires her. Chaos ensues. Caitlyn folds. Vi folds. Everybody folds.
    ❯❯❯❯
    "Caitlyn caught the brief flick of her eyes - down to her lips - as Violet licked her own without thinking, pure reflex. The air fizzled around them, carrying that sudden, effortless attraction that settled between them like fog. They were so close their breaths mingled. She looked at Violet through her lashes, biting her own bottom lip before a smirk slowly carved its way across her mouth.
    “Careful,” Caitlyn whispered at last. “Your potatoes are burning.”
    featuring: bad humour, bad writing, sexual tension and some accidental emotional depth

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,333
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2,265
  11. *

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    Turns out the one universal constant is PTA moms demanding parent-teacher conferences.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,219
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    245
    Kudos:
    4,904
    Bookmarks:
    370
    Hits:
    16,133
  12. *

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    Tim was ninety-eight percent sure Danny's part time job was just an elaborate tabletop campaign. Danny and his buddies 'Frostbite' and 'Fright Knight' once argued for three weeks over medieval dragon politics, which felt appropriate for well, both Dungeons and Dragons. If only he could let his boyfriend know it was okay to talk about his hobbies and share them too.

    Or: The time Danny forgot to tell Tim his Ghost King 'part time job' wasn’t an elaborate D&D roleplay.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,203
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    195
    Kudos:
    1,725
    Bookmarks:
    240
    Hits:
    11,902
  13. 16

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    Fifteen years after a mission killed the crew he loved most, former astronaut Robby agrees to train NASA's newest team for a trip to the moon.

    The assignment is supposed to be professional, simple, and Robby promises himself he won't get attached to this crew like he did the others.

    Instead, Robby finds himself drawn into the orbit of five astronauts carrying wounds of their own. Especially Dr. Whitaker, a quiet emergency physician from Nebraska who makes Robby want things he thought he'd buried long ago.

    As launch day approaches, old superstitions, old grief, and the fear of surviving another disaster threatens to pull Robby apart.

    Because the last time he let himself love a crew, they never came home.

    **hucklerobby smut on ch 15**

    **Updates Sundays & Wednesdays**

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,489
    Chapters:
    16/26
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,963
  14. 14

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    Piers Nivans is the BSAA's "Golden Boy"— the hand-picked protégé of Chris Redfield, a tactical machine with a perfect record and a textbook approach to heroism. He's used to being the best, used to being the leader, and used to being the one who has everyone figured out.

    Then you arrive.

    As a top-tier private recruit with a reputation and a bolt-action rifle that feels like an extension of your own shadow, you don’t just challenge his scores—you dismantle his composure. You aren't interested in the spotlight, and you definitely aren't interested in his "pet of the Captain" status.

    But as the drills get harder and the nights get shorter, the rivalry starts to blur. Between late-night library sessions and high-tension sparring matches, Piers realises that you aren't just another recruit to mentor. You're the first person he can't categorise— and the only one he's dying to figure out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,260
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Comments:
    155
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,735
  15. 53

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    "I'm…a what now?" Danny rasps.

    Sam squeezes his left bicep at the same time Tuck nudges him in the shoulder on his right. He feels a little like a sandwich.

    "For lack of a better term," one of the aforementioned eyeball headed ghosts, an Observant if they're to be believed, drawls, "a God."

    …A sandwich that is thoroughly freaked out, but a sandwich nonetheless. Who may or may not also be a God.

    "But." Danny swallows, unsuccessfully with how dry his throat suddenly is, "I'm not even 18 yet."

    OR: Amity Park has been having a weird couple of years. It turns out, when you become a God and you don't know it, that has some repercussions on the city you haunt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,765
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    202
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2,062
  16. *

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    Struggling college student Phainon transmigrates into his sister's awful romance game, "The Tyrannical CEO Loves Me Too Much!". Not as the MC, but the main antagonist and Mydeimos's business rival.

    His goal is simple: trigger the story ending by getting the two main leads together and go home.

    The only problem? Y/N is way too keen on making money and Mydeimos seems to be more interested in him than his designated love interest. He might've also forgotten about one minor plot twist.

    Or: When I reincarnate as a 6'3 Alpha with lots of money but the 6'5 Enigma starts looking at me funny.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,846
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    180
    Kudos:
    1,038
    Bookmarks:
    187
    Hits:
    21,394
  17. *

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    Summary

    Following the internet success of Shane and Ilya's presentation at the NHL Awards, ESPN decided to contract with them to do a whole series. It goes far better than anyone could have dreamed.

    -or-

    “When you think about it,” Jackie said, when Shane had dinner with her and Hayden a few days later, “hockey’s basically already reality tv.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,863
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    1,468
    Kudos:
    8,930
    Bookmarks:
    3,004
    Hits:
    207,586
  18. *

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    Summary

    In Vegas, after they’d said everything right up to the edge of I love you, Shane and Ilya came up with a plan. It was long term, with many, many steps. There might be a spreadsheet somewhere that Shane won’t admit to.

    But it’s a plan, nonetheless. Over the summer of 2014, they tweak it and add things important to the both of them. There are even many, extensive, contingency plans.

    OR

    Thanks to Shane's small lie the first time they hooked up, Shane and Ilya are together years earlier. Now, they have to figure out what to do about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,714
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    4,391
    Kudos:
    22,718
    Bookmarks:
    6,489
    Hits:
    429,570
  19. *

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    Summary

    4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.

    OR: inspired by the tweet: ilya actually love having a strict boyfriend. like no his bitch do not let him have friends NO he not allowed to be out past 11 and NO U CANNOT SIT HERE!!!

    Translation in Russian and Mandarin!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,451
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    835
    Kudos:
    42,297
    Bookmarks:
    8,600
    Hits:
    360,420
  20. 22

    Tags
    Summary

    Jungkook, a powerful CEO, comes back early from a business trip after Taehyung suddenly goes on hiatus.
    Worried and confused, he rushes home only to be met with the sweetest surprise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,434
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2,794

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