Bllover25
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So he had won, he returned, he smiled and joked and was sunshine and silliness, he was the person everyone needed him to be and it changed depending on who it was. He didn’t share the truth about how he was struggling with more than just the emotional toll of the last few months because that would strain the relationships he worked so hard to get back.
The thing that kept him awake at night alongside all his other worries was the realisation that this family that he held so dear that he had wanted so badly, no longer felt a permanent part of his life,
He didn’t trust it anymore
But no matter how many times he told himself he was happy and it was all ok, he couldn’t ignore the black pit inside of him that he was slowly drowning in that whispered you are
not wanted,
no one really cares,
you are unlovable,
you are exhausting.
Post law suit everything is getting back to normal .everyone has forgiven Buck and he is back where he belongs.
So why does he feel so broken?
Bookmarked by Bllover25
01 Jul 2026
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“I’m not leaving you, Buck.” Eddie says with a tired sigh, like he’s struggling with the weight of the world and Buck’s the one who put it there. “Just switching jobs, that’s all.”
That’s all?, Buck wants to scream, because every relationship he has is tied to the job in some way, and first Maddie left, and then it was Chimney, and now it’s Eddie. But he doesn’t scream, because that would be a little bit too tragic, even for him, and nods instead. Bites his tongue. Pretends that he isn't falling apart where he's stood.
***
Or, set post season 5A, where Buck is alone, and angry, and exhausted, but mostly terrified that everyone he loves is slowly slipping away from him.
**rated mature for heavy themes**
- Language:
- English
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- 53,697
- Chapters:
- 10/10
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- 2
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- 351
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Bookmarked by Bllover25
24 Jun 2026
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Eddie stood with his forearms resting against the metal rail, a beer bottle hanging loosely from one hand as he looked out over the city lights stretching endlessly across Los Angeles. From behind, he looked almost exactly the way he always did whenever he needed space to think.
"You know you're missing the party, right?" Eddie let out a quiet scoff and the reaction immediately caught Buck off guard.
Buck frowned slightly but decided to keep going. "What? Hiding from your mystery bidder?"
For a moment, Eddie didn't answer. Then he said, without looking at him, "Shouldn't you be with your hot firefighter?"
OR
Eddie thinks he's questioning his sexuality. Buck thinks he's losing his best friend. Neither of them is entirely right.
Bookmarked by Bllover25
22 Jun 2026
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Without waiting for a reaction or reply, the man bore down on the gas and peeled down the highway, leaving Buck stranded in the middle of nowhere somewhere along Interstate 10.
And as Buck watched the red brake lights of his Jeep disappear into the distance, clutching his prescription of blood thinners tightly to his chest... there was really only one thing left to do. Tilting his head back until he was staring at the stars, he took a deep breath and screamed into the night:
“Fuck!”
And much like every other one of his recent cries for help, it had gone unanswered.
---
Buck gets carjacked, held at gunpoint, and stranded in Arizona the day before his first shift post-lawsuit. And that's only the beginning of his troubles.
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- English
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- 103,817
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- 16/16
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Bookmarked by Bllover25
16 Jun 2026
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“Are you and Buck fighting?” Hen asks curiously.
“No, we’re not fighting,” Eddie says. “It’s just…the Tootsie Pops are distracting, right?”
Hen’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Distracting? Distracting how?”
“Like he’s always sucking on them,” Eddie says, sure that once Hen understands, she’ll agree with him. “And Buck is Buck, so it’s really not appropriate for him to be doing that all day.”
“Buck is Buck? I’m not sure I follow,” Hen says, narrowing her eyes at him.
“He’s hot!” Eddie spits out and immediately regrets it. “Like objectively. Buck is objectively hot, right? So he shouldn’t be walking around like that just...sucking on things.”
OR
Buck organizes a Tootsie Pop-themed fundraiser with the 118 and Eddie finds himself more than a little distracted in the weeks leading up to it.
Bookmarked by Bllover25
14 Jun 2026