CB_99



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    "And is like I said, very easy to do. You just lay back and let someone else do work. Could do it in my sleep, would not be problem at all for me to come hands-free.”

    Hollander scowled, full competitive personality shining through. “Prove it.”

    “Fine, I will,” Ilya snapped back.

    Hollander's eyes went wide, and so did Ilya's when he realized what he had promised. His words hung in the air between them, suddenly heavy with implication.

    ---
    Ilya doesn't think switching with Hollander one time for the sake of settling a bet will change anything about their arrangement, and it certainly wouldn't make him discover anything about himself. Afterall, it would only be one time, right?

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    14 Jun 2026

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    They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.


    Hayden: did anyone do the optional inclusivity training last season?
    J.J. Boizeau: no
    Lawrence Olsson: no
    Gilbert Comeau: no
    Petro Andropov: no
    Matty Wilson: no
    Cam Stedlund: no
    Albert Schneider: no
    Aleks Miitka: no
    Georges Gagnon: no
    Patrice Drapeau: no
    Hayden: excellent, we’re nailing this so far

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    14 Jun 2026

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    “We need you to argue again,” Dykstra says suddenly.

    A few seconds of silence follow, three sets, four if you include Haasy looking up uncertainly every couple of seconds, of eyes trained on them expectantly.

    “You want us to argue?” Shane repeats slowly, confusedly.

    Bood nods solemnly. “We played the best game of the fucking season after your argument—”

    “It wasn’t because of our argument,” Shane tries to counter, but Ilya’s pretty sure he even knows it’s pointless.

    “It was because of your argument,” Wyatt says. “You need to argue on game days.”

    Dykstra points between Shane and Ilya. “We need you to argue tomorrow. No questions asked. You are the Captain and the Captain’s first man.”

    Sorry?” Shane says at the same time Ilya says, “No.”

     
    Or the Ottawa Centaurs win a game after Shane and Ilya have a petty argument and turn it into a superstition. Texting fic edition.

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    13 Jun 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    A night out at the Kingfisher during a team roadtrip to New York leaves Ilya cursed with a truth spell. Worried this will ruin everything for Ilya and Shane and their very secret relationship, Ilya scrambles to break the curse before saying anything he can't take back.

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    04 Jun 2026