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Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.
He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.
"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.
By nightfall, Cas is gone.
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Bookmarked by Chevy67Impala
07 May 2026
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dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination) by sobsicles
Fandoms: Supernatural
16 Apr 2021
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Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.
~~~
Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."
"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."
"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."
"Easier said than done."
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Bookmarked by Chevy67Impala
07 May 2026
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So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.
~~~
"Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"
"I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."
"So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"
Castiel hums. "We're good."
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Bookmarked by Chevy67Impala
07 May 2026
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The walls bleed black again, and Castiel is deposited back into the room he was snatched from in a far more undignified manner than he left it.
~~~
His face is hot when he pulls the beer away from his mouth, a rising sense of panic fluttering in his chest. He has thought these things, known them, of course, but it feels so different now because Dean will know. He is going to look at Castiel and know exactly how he feels, what he thinks. That is...distressing.
Perhaps Dean will avoid it. He is very good at doing those things. When faced with something he simply doesn't want to acknowledge, that's his first method of handling the situation, and Castiel is sure that it will go this way again. He is banking on it, in fact.
It will be fine. He has Jack. Sam will be here, a welcome presence and a perfect buffer.
It's all going to be fine.
Series
- Part 2 of Cursed Metaphors
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Bookmarked by Chevy67Impala
07 May 2026
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gorging myself on you, still can't get full (insatiable) by sobsicles
Fandoms: Supernatural
27 Jun 2021
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"Fine, whatever. Love you too, asshole. I hope you enjoy your walk home with your stupid, grainy bread. Taking Nature's Own a little too much to heart, but sure," Dean tells him, flashing him a sarcastic smile and swiveling around in the aisle to march away. He throws out something over his shoulder, careless and barbed. "I'm not paying for that shitty cardboard."
Dean's three aisles over when he realizes what, precisely, he said. Thankfully, when he comes to this conclusion, he's holding a box of poptarts, so when he fumbles and drops them to the floor, it's not a huge mess. He stares down at the slightly dented box of Brown Sugar Poptarts, and he has a very swift and very unshakeable crisis right there and then.
Love you too, asshole.
No, no, no. Why would he say that? Why would he do that? In the middle of the goddamn grocery store while arguing about bread? That's not—that can't be how it happens. That can't be.
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Bookmarked by Chevy67Impala
06 May 2026
