DoctorAssbutt
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Results May Vary: aka Jayne asks Simon for some surprising advice and the outcome is not what either intended by Leaves_of_Autumn
Fandoms: Firefly (TV 2002)
11 Jun 2026
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When the Serenity crew becomes flush they decide to take a vacation on a tropical island. The biggest issue for Jayne is that there aren’t any whores, only companions, and he doesn’t know how to fancy talk any of them into taking him on as a client. So, despite his ego, he goes to Simon for advice. While Simon does try to give reasonable advice, the consequences of it are not what either of them could have expected.
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The idea of this is inspired by a legitimate canonical convo Jayne has with Simon in the comics about how to pick up companions. I mean... come on, how can we not create fics inspired by that?Bookmarked by DoctorAssbutt
03 Jul 2026
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Astarion was content to spend the rest of eternity here with his sleeping beauty. Content to watch his chest expand with each breath; to hear his strong heartbeat keeping steady rhythm; to feel his warmth seeping into every inch of Astarion and wrapping round and round his dead heart until he could pretend they lived in one skin.
Astarion and Durge enjoy an afternoon together after ridding the world of Cazador and Orin. If you've ever wanted a little something more after the Dark Urge successfully resists the Urge, you'll enjoy this fic.
Bookmarked by DoctorAssbutt
03 Jul 2026
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Accidentally hooking up with your coworker by Shirolikestowrite
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
29 Jun 2026
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"Say it. What were you hoping some nameless, faceless stranger would do to you tonight?"
"I was hoping," Zoro said, forcing each syllable out, "to get to fuck someone so thoroughly I wouldn't be able to remember my own name, let alone think about work."
"But since it's you," Zoro continued, "that's clearly off the table. Because you're an insufferable, pretentious, condescending—"
"Marimo."
"—bastard who argues about Oxford commas like it's a holy war—"
"Moss-for-brains."
"—and who probably couldn't make anyone feel good if he tried, because all you do is talk, and criticize, and pick at every little thing until—"
Sanji's mouth crashed against his with the same energy as their arguments.
"Fuck you," Sanji breathed, pulling back just enough to speak.
"Fuck you."
"Fuck—" Sanji kissed him again
Bookmarked by DoctorAssbutt
30 Jun 2026
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You're Not Alone Anymore by HeavenlyNight
Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
27 Jun 2026
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As a favour to his former major, Chris Redfield finds himself babysitting a 16-week-old baby girl for a few days while she goes on an errand.
On the day she was meant to come back, however, Chris gets a panicked phone call from the woman before she goes missing.
Before he knows it, Chris finds himself the temporary legal guardian of a baby and living with his captain as they and the rest of S.T.A.R.S try to find his former major before it's too late...
Bookmarked by DoctorAssbutt
28 Jun 2026
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Waking up one morning and Lohen couldn't help be tempted by the man under him...
Bookmarked by DoctorAssbutt
16 Jun 2026