El_McCormick
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Calculus (or the study of instantaneous rates of change and the summation of infinitely small factors to make a whole) by Delta_Pavonis
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
14 Jun 2026
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Summary
Given how and where and when Alastor grew up, he generally doesn't consider himself bad at math. There are all sorts of combinations of sums and division and multiplication he can do without the assistance of an adding machine. He first learned the skill while helping his maman scale up and down amounts in the kitchen. He encountered it again as he started to read music and transpose compositions between different keys for different instruments. Then he honed said skill keeping a close eye on what he should be earning for his hours of work versus what white men tried to pay him, not to mention how tips got allocated out amongst band members. So between cooking and music and money, he’s rather competent day-to-day.
In this particular instance, however, Alastor can admit that he has vastly miscalculated.
_____________Alastor and Lucifer engage in a fake relationship in an attempt to fuck with Vox. It doesn't exactly go as planned.
Bookmarked by El_McCormick
06 Jul 2026
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They glance at each other for a moment and then Alastor is taking Lucifer’s hand again and dragging him down the street and into an old cemetery. They weave through rows of above ground tombs, snaking around until Alastor stops at a park-like center. He tugs Lucifer to sit down on a stone bench with him under an enormous old cypress tree, its branches heavy with curtains of Spanish moss. Neither lets go of the other's hand.
“The sun’s gonna come up soon,” Lucifer sighs after a while.
Alastor hums, just starting to get his breathing back under control. “Do you vanish at the first touch of the dawn’s rays?”
“Nah,” Lucifer chuckles. “Vampires aren’t real.”
Alastor's smile is softened by moonlight. “Says the Devil himself who sits beside me.”
This night has been far more wonderful than Lucifer could ever have anticipated. He hasn’t felt this good in… he doesn’t want to think about how long. And he knows he will soon have to return to his chaotic realm and his strained marriage and his lonely existence… but not yet. He doesn't have to leave just yet.
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Lucifer is the demon Alastor summons. Their deal does not go as planned.Bookmarked by El_McCormick
06 Jul 2026
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After waking up mysteriously bereft of his pure angelic power, Lucifer finds himself in the clutches of one of his least favorite sinners– Alastor.
A deal is struck, and now the pair will be playing on the same team– both to restore Lucifer's power, and to make sure the rest of Hell doesn't find out it's gone. Wouldn't want all Hell to break loose, after all!
…And somewhere along the way, Alastor becomes…not his least favorite sinner, anymore.
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- English
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- 101,120
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- 25/25
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Bookmarked by El_McCormick
04 Jul 2026
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Alastor reached out with one hand again, laying it palm-up on the table.
Lucifer stared. “What?”
“Dance with me,” Alastor murmured, the smile that curved his mouth as insouciant as anything Lucifer had ever seen. “That is, assuming you are even capable.”
Weak after Charlie’s birth, Lucifer has no choice but to flee Hell when Adam brings an army of Exterminators and Heavenly Princes to his doorstep. With Lilith dead, Hell in shambles, and Lucifer in no position to right it, he flees to the only place he can think of: Earth. The human world is much different than he remembers, however, and his plan to simply keep himself and Charlie secluded in the first human city he lands in hits a snag when the woman from next door takes an interest in them and the strange radio show that, for months, has been Lucifer’s only mode of lulling his daughter to sleep, bringing her mysterious son into Lucifer's false life and threatening to bring the whole facade crashing down.
(Written for the RadioApple Big Bang 2025.)
Series
- Part 1 of Patina
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- 5/5
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Bookmarked by El_McCormick
08 Jun 2026
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“Right. Great. You’re with me now. Here’s the deal: you like those, don’t you?” Lucifer asked, voice so soft a croon Alastor would know it was fake. “I will help you through this, slake your animal lust the old fashioned way—just this once.” His hand lifted, brushing against Alastor’s jaw, and he watched with a ghostly smirk as Alastor’s eyes flared, his smile more like a sneer even as Lucifer leaned forward. Good. It was easier to do this when Alastor acted how Lucifer had come to expect. “Charlie will never know, your psychotic little Overlord friends will never know, and when it’s done we will walk away and never, ever speak of it again.”
As an angel, Lucifer's never thought much about the secondary natures of humans or their Sinner counterparts in Hell. Then Alastor goes into rut, and he finds himself reevaluating what it is he’ll do to keep his daughter’s dream alive.
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Bookmarked by El_McCormick
08 Jun 2026