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Running to the frontlines from a childhood he never had. Taking a bat to the wall with his son in the next room. Having an affair with the spitting image of his dead wife.
Eddie knows he’s never been good at grieving, knows he’s never been good at losing what little he allows for himself in the first place. This is why he also knows his coping mechanisms can’t possibly get any worse.
Buck, as he so often does, makes him reevaluate his assumptions.
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Evan Buckley dies behind a wall of glass. It’s a shame that when he’s revived not three minutes later, no one is informed. -
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Jack puts his baby daughter up for adoption at nineteen years old. He leaves her a note.
Dennis loves that note: the proof that he was always wanted.
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Eddie listens to the voicemail later. Buck sounds like he’s at a grocery store, absentmindedly talking into the phone. “Oh, I guess you’re with your sisters. Sorry to miss you. I just wanted to tell you about this call we had last night, but I gotta hear your reactions, so, later. Okay, uh, I guess I’ll just call back. Or text.”
It ends abruptly, without a goodbye. Eddie replays it a second time, closes his eyes as he sits in the truck. For a moment, he can pretend Buck is sitting in the passenger seat next to him. For a moment, Eddie is back in Los Angeles and his best friend is dragging him through the grocery store.
The voicemail ends, Eddie opens his eyes, and the fantasy breaks. Eddie is still in El Paso, parked in front of the house he’s renting, and there’s no one in the passenger seat with him.
Eddie moves to Texas. Buck moves into his house. There's a love story somewhere in here.
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Buck looks at Eddie, for the first time in eight years. The changes in his face aren’t as drastic as they were for Chris – Eddie didn’t have puberty to get through. But his age shows, in the crows feet around his eyes and the slight frown lines. Before he left, Eddie was still in shape for working in the LAFD. Eddie looks – softer. Buck has no doubt he’s kept up with his fitness, but being CPAT-ready is a different deal.
And despite himself – Buck thinks Eddie looks good. It’s like a pang in his chest, when he finally lets himself acknowledge it. Eddie is older but just as handsome, even though he looks as awkward as Buck feels. His traitorous heart does a little flip, like there’s a chance of anything happening.
or: Buck hasn’t seen Christopher Diaz in eight years – not since his dad moved back to El Paso, breaking Buck’s heart in the process. He’s surprised Christopher wants anything to do with him when he moves back to Los Angeles for college, but Christopher is adamant on reconnecting. But with Christopher comes Eddie, and Buck has to contend with the fact that he never got over him.
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Summary
Evan Buckley was born with the singular purpose of saving his older brother. And it works: the cells graft and Daniel's cancer goes into remission. Instead of becoming a grim secret that haunts his family for years to come, Daniel lives.
In some ways, it makes all the difference.
In other ways, it doesn't make any difference at all.
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Bookmarked by Fall_in_Flames
05 Jun 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
The Hermit, the Devil, and the Star: chapter 27 (about where I am in the show)

