FloorLicker
Fandoms
- Postal (Video Games) (2)
- Homestuck (1)
- Voltron: Legendary Defender (1)
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Summary
It's another rough day in the purgatory between being sober and dead. Somehow, Dude is fresh out of the Asylum and moves into a trailer on the edge of Paradise. He's in the middle of a slow spiral towards drug abuse, with a side of prostitution. Join Dude as he becomes a crackwhore and discovers Paradise from the inside out. Will he come to terms with his addiction and become The Postal Dude we know and love, or will he fall down the path of sex and drugs paved with socioeconomic scorn as he no longer recognizes his own self?
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It’s been a while, quite the long while. ‘Since what?’ you may be asking, or maybe not because you feel like you already know. And the Dude knows that sometimes you just need to shove something so far up your ass you don’t want to walk. So he goes to a sex shop and heads home. I wonder what will transpire?
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My Brain is Like a Potato That's Been Mashed by FloorLicker
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
26 Jan 2022
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Lanessa is attending Paladin University after being kicked out of Garrison Middle School for fighting with another student. It's just her luck that the student she punched in the face was also attending Paladin U.
And of course she has a stupid motorcycle.
And of course her name is pretentious and her leather jacket fits her waist perfectly.
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An introspective look on John's love life. Why had he put so many people aside when he could've lived such a full life? For the better of the team, right?
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Dave Lalonde is an internationally renown movie director arguably more famous than God, and indisputably richer. He certainly isn't expecting the bizarrely dressed stranger he runs into in the bathroom of an Academy Awards afterparty to indelibly interpose himself into his life in the worst possible ways. However much he might want to, Dirk Strider inevitably proves to be a man that Dave will never be able to forget.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 227,783
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Comments:
- 429
- Kudos:
- 1,417
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 52,004
Bookmarked by FloorLicker
16 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Incredibly heartbreaking and yet so masterfully bad in the most train-wrecking way.
The epilogue truly makes this fic go from bad to worse in a good sort of hurt that’s reminiscent of pressing a bruise or tearing out a loose tooth. A genius turn on Stridercest that is genuinely a work of art. Publisher-worthy. I’ve never had another fic make me feel so sick like I was closely related watching someone’s downward spiral quite so realistically.
When you think it can’t get worse; it truly does. If you can stomach it- it’s a flavor you’ll always seek to taste again.
Much like Dave in this fic, if you’re comfortable reading and can’t stop escalating to the point that it hurts to read- you’ll find yourself just as hollow as Dave Strider-Lalonde himself.
Contrary to a few criticisms, the one POV and the lack of a concrete ending make it all the more realistic and compelling. It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. Never before have I felt so disgusted and comforted and also felt genuine shock and fear.
Author is a genius.
Showcases the beauty of independent authorship because purity culture couldn’t even CONCEIVE this work of art that is far closer to our cruel reality than any other sanitized fluff.
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How to screw an alien by bleeding_hydnellum
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
31 Mar 2026
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Rocky realizes he is in love with Ryland, and after confessing he learns a lot about how Ryland's biology works.
Later, Ryland visits Erid and Adrian learns about Ryland's biology.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,672
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 485
- Kudos:
- 9,360
- Bookmarks:
- 1,252
- Hits:
- 106,097
Bookmarked by FloorLicker
20 May 2026
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Summary
NEW! — What Tenna does in the Dark World while Alphys is away.
A shy Hometown teacher finds an old TV — and a new best friend.
Drawings, stories and other creative works about Alphys, Mr. "Ant" Tenna, and the odd friendship between them.
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Summary
After bringing home an old secondhand CRT and having a Dark World open up within her own apartment, Alphys has gotten somewhat used to having Tenna around in her life. A theatrical friend who doesn't mind her sharing in her more eclectic hobbies...
But the more Alphys learns about Tenna the more the mystery starts to build... Who is Mike anyways? And why does Tenna's relationship with him seem so...
Yeah, she has a vested interest in getting to the bottom of this.
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Summary
After his vacation, Tenna showed up to work fresh as a daisy, practically walking on sunshine. He even greeted the Pippins much to Spamton’s surprise. The co-stars went about their life like nothing happened beneath that booth – save for catching each other in longing stares or idle touches. There was a pressure building up under Spamton’s skin with every day that passed, eating him like a disease, but he didn't dare show it or even acknowledge it. How was he meant to cope with this nearly defunct CRT giving him the best sex he's had in years? How was he meant to grapple with being this down bad for a man whom he was only planning on using?
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Spamton can't find satisfaction with anyone else after that evening with Tenna. He also can't proposition the star -- too worried that Tenna might start feeling like Spamton needs him equally. After a particularly unique shoot, the star-crossed lovers collide once more.Series
- Part 2 of Surprizes
Bookmarked by FloorLicker
22 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
EXQUISITE. a story with heart and lore and love and spunk (cums). had me gooning for 4 days whenm i spread it out to read it just so i could stretch the experience.