LizardWizard3254
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
“I haven’t really been to a wedding where I’ve, uh… let loose. But, hey,” Dennis shrugged, “maybe I’m doing it wrong.”
“If I hadn’t already agreed to go to this conference, I’d offer to go with you,” Robby said casually. “Show you how it’s done. I’ve got a good track record as a plus-one, too.” Dennis had to say something. To interrupt. To shut this down. But what was he supposed to say? No, you can’t be my plus one, because I lied about my cousin, and there is no wedding, and it seems a little weird to bring a date to a fucking funeral– “Apparently parents love it when you bring home a doctor.”
And just like that, the bubble popped.
“I’m not gay,” Dennis snapped.
He had never hated the sound of his own voice as much as he did right then.
---
Or, Dennis is anxiously headed home for a "wedding" in Broken Bow, Nebraska, the details of which are increasingly fuzzy. Robby's got a medical conference in Omaha that same weekend. So they carpool. Seventeen hours both ways in an enclosed space with no way out except a tuck and roll. This'll go great. -
Tags
Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
-
How to Fall in Love with Draco Malfoy by Plainyjaney
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
If Draco Malfoy was meant to be the most ineligible bachelor in the wizarding world, then why was he advertising a tourney whose winner would become his wife? And why were witches lining up around the block for their chance to compete?
Hermione Granger is recruited by the DMLE to go undercover in the competition for Malfoy’s heart. Her mission is to get closer to the growing death eater cause presumably housed in Malfoy Manor, dodging the increasingly ridiculous selection competitions in her way.
-
The Secret Life of Hermione Granger by swift_knight
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 May 2026
Tags
Summary
“I’m leaving,” Hermione responded, turning on her heels and walking back the way her son had come from as she clutched him close to her chest.
The boy watched them over his mother’s shoulder, and Harry’s stomach dropped.
He had seen this blonde-haired, grey-eyed child before. One week earlier, in a picture sitting on Draco Malfoy’s desk. The same Draco Malfoy who had spent the time since the war ended living in France. And Malfoy never named his wife.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Hermione Granger married Draco fucking Malfoy and had a kid with him.
-
Tags
Summary
Hermione Granger wasn’t planning to offer to deflower her colleague and friend, Draco Malfoy. Nor did she expect him to accept the odd proposal.
Now, they're drafting sex agendas, negotiating terms and limits, and scheduling orgasms like it's one of their curse-breaking Ministry projects. It's strictly professional (of course), except Draco is painfully hot in that nerdy way, tragically inexperienced, and has these eyeglasses that should be illegal.
Seven days. One thirty-year-old virgin. Zero chance of staying just friends.
Series
- Part 1 of The Agenda Series