LostFish



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    @ russianbear clove 

     roz is so fucking funny man had two seconds to process and he spent them thinking about how to get that ass

    @ icemenace Ro - he's so real

    @ shaneybugbug Libby - oh he's been WAITING for this 

    @ iwant81 Abbie - he was so obviously joking oh my god 

    @ russianbear clove  - ummmm i don't think so

    @ iwant81 Abbie - rozanov likes girls english just isn't his first language so he accidentally made it look like something you freaks are taking advantage of

    @ russianbear clove - so he's joking or it was an accident??? Istg at least chose one

     

    or - Shane Hollander comes out and Ilya loses his mind

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    11/23
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    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Friendly chats. For years. On Instagram.” Ilya glanced up at Shane, who looked… confused. Truly, honestly confused. Like they’d been sending cordial emails and not Instagram chats. And why did that make Ilya smile? A low, rich laugh slipped from his lips. “You really have no idea?”

    “What?”

    “Instagram is for… chatting, yes?” Ilya waggled his eyebrows. “But also, for, what do you call it? Sliding into DMs?”

    Language:
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    1/1
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    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: So, what is this we’re doing again? 

    Harris: It’s called 36 Questions That Lead to Love. They’re questions that a psychologist developed back in the nineties that are supposed to help couples move past the awkward stage and get more personal. It’ll be fun!

    Shane: You always say that it’ll be fun, and I don’t think it ever ends up being much fun. 

    Ilya: I always have fun. I do not know what your problem is. 

    [Harris lets out his signature booming laugh, and Ilya grins widely.]

    Harris: You maybe have a little too much fun. 

    Ilya: There is no such thing. 

    Shane: But what’s the point of the questions if we’re already in love? Like, we’re married. You were there when it happened.

    Harris: Yes, but they can help you deepen your connection, and it makes for good content. People love your love. 

    Ilya: I think we had a pretty deep connection last night, am I right?

    [Ilya holds his hand up for a high-five from Shane, but Shane only glares, and Harris looks slightly horrified. Ilya looks back expectantly, but when Shane doesn’t move, Ilya high-fives himself. With the sound of the clap, the screen goes black.]

    Language:
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    19 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    It was one time.

    Statistically, condoms had a 98% success rate when used properly. That meant that the condom packet had to have been perfectly sealed, the latex itself had to have no tears or degradation in the material, and it had to be worn as directed.

    So why?

    Why did it feel like the universe was saying fuck you in big bold letters and giving him double birds at the same time?

    So why did the blue lines and the pregnant on the two tests sound so fucking fake?

    Or: Where Shane finds out he's pregnant after their first time together in 2013 despite wearing protection, because the universe loves to fuck with him.

    Set in Omegaverse. Tags will be updated as story progresses.

    (Will be updated every 4-6 days, opposite of The Fertility Face-Off. Updated: June 9th)

    Language:
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    Words:
    147,400
    Chapters:
    14/60
    Comments:
    509
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    888
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    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,560
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    987
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    18 Jun 2026