Morgaina



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ooooooh!!” The whole room went off. The captain forgot! Ilya Rozanov mirrored his phone to the TV and left the strategy room, forgetting his phone was still mirroring!

    He was texting Jane! Thee Jane!

    Oh sh-

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    21 Jul 2026

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    Shane: You all seriously want to do this?

    Shane: Like you know this is going to be on the internet forever, right?

     

    Ilya: Sorry everyone.

    Ilya: He still has this weird sense of self-preservation.

    Ilya: We're working on it.

     

    Bood: Come on, Hollander.

    Bood: It'll be fun!

    Bood: We'll all look like idiots together.

     

    Shane: That's not as comforting as you think it is.

     

    Evan: Is there a limit on the number of rainbows and dicks that can be on the shirt?

    Evan: Asking for the person I'm buying for who maybe definitely is named Shane Hollander.

     

    Shane: I hate all of you.

     

    Ilya: See you at the airport!! ✈️👕🏒

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    21 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit together in a sterile interrogation room. There’s a height chart on the wall behind them, and a harsh light hangs overhead. Next to them on the table is a polygraph machine.]

    Producer: Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander. 

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Yes, those are our names. See how truthful I’m already being?

    Shane: You’re not even hooked up to anything yet. 

    Ilya: I’m just establishing how honest I am before we start. 

    Producer: Well, that’s good because you’re both here to take a lie detector test. The way this works is that one of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other asks questions, and then you’ll switch. Judd [the camera switches to show a man with glasses and stark white hair sitting at the polygraph machine] will be reading your results in real time. Shane, you’ll go first.

    Shane: Goody. 

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    21 Jul 2026

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    [An image of this year’s NHL East All-Star team, including Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Wyatt Hayes, Troy Barrett, Carter Vaughn, and Scott Hunter, all smiling after winning this year’s NHL All-Star Game in Las Vegas]

     

    @NHLInsider There’s rumor going around that Page Six has evidence from last weekend’s All-Star Game that two NHL players are romantically linked. Checking my sources to see what I can find out. Will update later. This could have huge implications if true. 

     

    Posted on February 12 2:30 pm

    ***

    @ssmith20 wut?

    @rozanoff no way fuck boy rozanov is involved in this. my money’s on barrett and hollander.

    @luverofhockey holy shit. if this is true, it’s going to be insane

    @hattrickzzzz @luverofhockey would it really be all that surprising? Hockey is one of the most homoerotic sports in existence. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they had whole team orgies after every game.

    @shanehollanderswife there’s no way that reddit post about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov being a couple is correct, right? ….right? 

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    21 Jul 2026

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

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    20 Jul 2026