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The Universe is Rarely So Lazy by DarkWaters
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Jane the Virgin (TV)
15 Jul 2019
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Summary
Mycroft Holmes has decided it was time to have an heir to the Holmes family. But due to his position and declining fertility, time is of the essence. A surrogate is the intelligent choice but an error at the clinic results in the neighboring patient being inseminated instead of Mycroft's choice. The patient is Joanne Watson.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,067
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Comments:
- 452
- Kudos:
- 1,305
- Bookmarks:
- 312
- Hits:
- 27,100
Bookmarked by NotASquire
26 Feb 2016
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Bookmarked by NotASquire
03 Oct 2015
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Summary
"Xie [...] had invented an entire pleasure-industry by combining superior visual aesthetics with impeccable personal attention. Drasha salons were by that time a feature of any even half-decent house of repose in every pleasure district in the British Isles, but once upon a time, when Xie debuted, there had been only one, and Xie had named it: the Icehouse."
*
In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace--despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts.John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled.
In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district.
*Modern-day dystopian/one-world government/espionage/geisha!lock AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 207,079
- Chapters:
- 39/39
- Comments:
- 1,432
- Kudos:
- 1,084
- Bookmarks:
- 432
- Hits:
- 31,921
Bookmarked by NotASquire
13 Sep 2015
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Phaedrus by xiaq
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Craig Movies), Sherlock (TV)
05 Aug 2016
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Summary
The kid stilled, his eyes going sharp in a way that made James want to reach for his weapon. He remembered he didn’t have one, then remembered he was talking to a 13 year old the size of a cocker spaniel and he didn’t need a weapon anyway.
“Give me access to MI6’s computers and I could take over the world,” the boy said softly.
“Not exactly what we’re trying to accomplish, but an interesting option all the same,” James said, pursing his lips. “What’s your name?”
“Why?”
“Because, if I’m going to recruit you that’s something I’ll need to know.”
***This is the origin story of Q/James Bond's relationship had they met quite a bit sooner in their MI6 careers. It is also a continuation/expansion of Jealous Gods, but it should make sense as a stand-alone piece. It will be formatted like Jealous Gods, going back and forth between present and past. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!
Series
- Part 2 of Jealous Gods
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,626
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,799
- Kudos:
- 5,154
- Bookmarks:
- 1,262
- Hits:
- 137,685
Bookmarked by NotASquire
10 Sep 2015
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Bookmarked by NotASquire
26 Aug 2015
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Bookmarked by NotASquire
05 Aug 2015
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Summary
"Tucked here between towering shelves stuffed full of hundreds of years of knowledge on tens of thousands of pages filled with hundreds of thousands of words made up of millions of individual letters –Sherlock Holmes fits."
There are so few places Sherlock feels at ease, but this library feels like home. He likes the solitude, takes comfort in the quiet. He may not have friends, but he's got books--and that's just as good, isn't it? Better, even.
And then one day John Watson walks in, and everything changes...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 170,564
- Chapters:
- 19/21
- Comments:
- 1,976
- Kudos:
- 1,899
- Bookmarks:
- 612
- Hits:
- 58,614
Bookmarked by NotASquire
13 Jul 2015
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Bookmarked by NotASquire
17 Jun 2015
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Summary
When Benedict Cumberbatch went on Top Gear and said, "There's a load of fan fiction which has me and John Watson floating in space on a bed handcuffed to one another," three people wrote me within an hour to say it sounded a heck of a lot like this. Alternate universe. Almost literally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,621
- Chapters:
- 31/?
- Comments:
- 2,957
- Kudos:
- 1,747
- Bookmarks:
- 441
- Hits:
- 58,472
Bookmarked by NotASquire
30 May 2015
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Summary
John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes.
Series
- Part 1 of Mise en Place
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 161,004
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Comments:
- 2,426
- Kudos:
- 3,428
- Bookmarks:
- 1,175
- Hits:
- 97,889
Bookmarked by NotASquire
23 May 2015
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Summary
In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through.
Wasn't he?
A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 326,883
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 5,951
- Kudos:
- 11,917
- Bookmarks:
- 3,284
- Hits:
- 413,028
Bookmarked by NotASquire
17 Apr 2015
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October to Hogmanay by snorklepie
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
09 Aug 2016
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Summary
“What are we, now?” John mused aloud, once they were in a cab heading back to Baker street. It was a cool, damp afternoon and Sherlock was studying the passers-by with detached interest. He glanced over at John with a raised eyebrow, his fingers idly worrying at one of the buttons on his coat.
“Nothing seems quite right. What would you call me, if somebody asked?” John waved a hand vaguely at the space between them. “What do we call… this?”
Sherlock stared at him for quite a while, his brow furrowed. John began to feel a little self conscious. The taxi lurched as they turned a sharp corner, and he flung out his arm to steady himself. Sherlock caught his wrist, and held tight.
“Everything.” Sherlock said quietly, and after a moment he let go and resumed his study of the streets outside. John barely even heard the words, he said them so softly. “Everything. That’s what you are.”
John stared at Sherlock’s profile against the cab window and exhaled slowly. After a long moment, he reached out and touched Sherlock’s long fingers where they were fiddling with the button on his coat. The tall man didn’t look around again, but his fingers slowly unfurled before curling deliberately around John’s hand.
Series
- Part 2 of Scotland
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,318
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 976
- Kudos:
- 2,382
- Bookmarks:
- 372
- Hits:
- 61,432
Bookmarked by NotASquire
03 Apr 2015
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Summary
"You love this, being Sherlock Holmes."
He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?
Fully completed, not a WIP. Updates will post twice a week.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 203,286
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 3,196
- Kudos:
- 3,402
- Bookmarks:
- 1,588
- Hits:
- 118,800
Bookmarked by NotASquire
30 Mar 2015
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Summary
In an alternate universe, people are put by lottery into more-or-less random pairings. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have better things to do than pair up with some random stranger. But, as luck would have it, there's Lucky Dip.
The prompt for this story comes from Destination Toast here. She suggested an AU that contained “lottery-based arranged marriages — everyone is completely randomly assigned a partner by default (but you can cheat the system or change the odds with enough money.)” The premise is a tiny bit different, but still based on her suggestion.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,593
- Chapters:
- 12/13
- Comments:
- 268
- Kudos:
- 636
- Bookmarks:
- 101
- Hits:
- 10,228
Bookmarked by NotASquire
29 Mar 2015
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Bookmarked by NotASquire
27 Mar 2015
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Summary
John envisioned the past few years, with their expected dramas and carefully laid plans unfolding like a map from Moriarty to freedom. He envisioned his role in it: loving husband, unwitting dupe, luckless pawn. And at the end, he envisioned relief, and breath, and a brilliant, incandescent love.
An oasis. Just this dance. Just one more, and then back into the fray.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,300
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 545
- Kudos:
- 1,183
- Bookmarks:
- 346
- Hits:
- 28,805
Bookmarked by NotASquire
26 Mar 2015
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Summary
Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who's been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses.
Series
- Part 1 of Baker Farms
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 107,845
- Chapters:
- 43/43
- Comments:
- 368
- Kudos:
- 1,865
- Bookmarks:
- 469
- Hits:
- 45,173
Bookmarked by NotASquire
22 Feb 2015
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Summary
Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole 'dancing together' bit is a little more planned. Dancer!AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,272
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 741
- Kudos:
- 1,917
- Bookmarks:
- 886
- Hits:
- 48,500
Bookmarked by NotASquire
16 Feb 2015
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Summary
John serves community service in homeless shelters for chinning the superintendent. Unbeknownst to him, the Homeless Network has his back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,829
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 272
- Kudos:
- 5,753
- Bookmarks:
- 1,118
- Hits:
- 73,116
Bookmarked by NotASquire
13 Feb 2015
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Summary
John Watson, a brave and adventurous boy, gets lost in the forest. Could it be any worse? Of course, since he meets there quite an extraordinary creature and befriends him. It seems that even the language barrier and cultural differences can't stop the boys from having fun.
Series
- Part 1 of The Other
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,600
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 317
- Kudos:
- 905
- Bookmarks:
- 192
- Hits:
- 22,298
Bookmarked by NotASquire
04 Feb 2015