NotInWonderlandAnymore
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This is the epilogue to the Twenty-One-part text fic: Behind Enemy Phone Lines.
You do not need to have read all the texts if you're just looking for a smutty one-shot with a plot.
"Merlin, you’re like a fucking dream.
You’ve got me out of my mind, Hermione.
I knew your cunt would be magic.
That it would be worth dying in this fucking war for."You can read the Texts on my Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DXMw4Fhjmjq/?igsh=MXBxbDg4Y3E0a25ucA==
- Language:
- English
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- 7,902
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 4
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- 67
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IRRECONCILABLE by Deydralinne, NotInWonderlandAnymore
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Jul 2026
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Mr. Malfoy,
Effective immediately, I have assumed responsibility for your representation following Mr. Tutlemonbum’s retirement from the DMLE’s Department of Conviction Reform.-
Dear Ms Granger,
I acknowledge the change in counsel, as I have been reminded I am legally required to do so.
That being said…
Kindly fuck off. -
Who's In My Mouth? by NotInWonderlandAnymore for sandraRN
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Jul 2026
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"Theo, no!"
Light flooded the room, sudden and blinding, and Hermione's eyes flew open.
Silver eyes stared down at her, wide with shock.
Oh, Gods.
"You don't turn the lights on, Theo!" Pansy shrieked from somewhere to her right. "When you play 'Who's In My Mouth?' they stay off!"
***Or, when they play a slutty party game that ends up in mysterious blow jobs.
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Hermione Granger's fresh start is going wonderfully.
Right up until she realizes Draco Malfoy lives in the apartment across from hers.
Between late-night insomnia, open curtains, and an alarming lack of self-control where minding their own business is concerned, what begins as innocent curiosity quickly spirals into mutual obsession.
After all, it's hard not to watch your neighbor.
Especially when your neighbor is Draco Malfoy.
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Hermione Granger is desperate to get Hogwarts up and running again after the war. She wants to do a full renovation, add special courses, allow new regulations for muggle-borns and more. But despite being 'The Golden Girl', she's shite at getting the elite to spend their galleons on her cause. She's blunt and lacking in the social graces expected of someone of her status.
Draco Malfoy has just finished serving a 3 year term at Azkaban for his part in the war-a sentence that was only lowered because of Hermione's character witness at his trial. He sees her struggling to make the right impression amongst the upper-class wizarding community and offers to give her lessons in manners and etiquette associated with closing the deals she needs to secure her dreams.
But this isn't just any kind of arrangement.
They have 10 lessons between now and the social event of the year.
There's only 1 rule: For each lesson he gives her on how to act in public, she must return a favor of his choice.
10 Lessons. 10 Favors. No boundaries.
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Five years after the war, Hermione Granger has very little time for something like a relationship. She's far too busy trying to run the Bureau for Endangered Creatures efficiently, dealing with budget cuts and ignorant ministry officials and finding a way to somehow restore her parents' memories, who are still in Australia and none the wiser about the existence of their daughter.
When she discovers that the Wizengamot plans to use Draco Malfoy as a scapegoat whilst dealing with elusive Voldemort loyalists, she offers to testify for him. She's not quite sure how it led to her trying on wedding dresses under the watchful eye of Narcissa Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
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- 320,000
- Chapters:
- 34/34
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- 25
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- 3,581
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Bookmarked by NotInWonderlandAnymore
08 Jul 2026
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Love In A Time Of The Zombie Apocalypse by rizzlewrites
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Jan 2022
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After Voldemort, there was this. The clock is ticking to create a cure to the unimaginable horror that currently grips the world. Hermione finds herself unwillingly allied with the most hated man in Wizarding Britain. (Alternate ending: 'La Vie En Rose', Audiobook by ETL.Echo.Audiobooks).
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 356,114
- Chapters:
- 84/84
- Comments:
- 3,423
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- 12,427
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Bookmarked by NotInWonderlandAnymore
03 Jul 2026
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"What in Merlin’s name is that?” Granger asked, furrowing her brow as she examined the gold dust on her hand.
But Draco knew. He’d been around magical plants his entire life. His mother adored gardening. He’d done exceptionally well in Herbology, easily earning an O. He’d assumed Granger would know, but she still looked confused—possibly in denial.
She’d touched it. It was on her hand. The cloud of glitter was still swirling around them, and Draco knew— they were fucked.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,591
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 356
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- 3,037
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- 852
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Bookmarked by NotInWonderlandAnymore
03 Jul 2026
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Just…stepcest smut. 🙃
This started off as a twitter drabble, and was originally PWP. However, plot insinuated itself, and each chapter gets longer and eventually we see a minute amount of substance.
Mostly just porn though. 😊💜
Series
- Part 1 of Family Vacation Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,164
- Chapters:
- 15/?
- Comments:
- 393
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- 1,197
- Bookmarks:
- 311
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- 92,740
Bookmarked by NotInWonderlandAnymore
02 Jul 2026
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Wreck a Malfoy by Ramelle_Kammae
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Dramione - Fandom
24 Aug 2025
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His hand came back. Fingers trailing slowly up her calf. A silent touch that felt less like control and more like praise. Like he was telling her - this is good. You’re good.
A shaky breath escaped her lips. Technically, she wasn’t even doing anything, right? This wasn’t sex. There was no skin-to-skin. No real touching.
Foot stuff didn’t count—did it?
Or... Hermione stumbles messily into something that feels a lot like love.
Series
- Part 1 of Wreck a Malfoy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 236,830
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 1,473
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- 2,466
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- 1,130
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- 162,296
Bookmarked by NotInWonderlandAnymore
23 Jun 2026