Un_Ironically
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Summary
A man’s going to die tonight.
Vincent Whittman is someone who inspires words like 'nice' and 'a little odd'. The kind of person whose darkest sin can only be bad tipping or disregard of social cues. Right?
Working at a New York television station, he's yet another man with ambition larger than himself.
Tonight, he's going for the throat, ready to seize his fate. Until a single misstep, one slip of a mask, in front of a stranger upends his entire plan and Vincent, the self-proclaimed master puppeteer, finds himself a mere marionette.The radio host from New Orleans, Alastor Hartfelt, cannot be conquered in ways Vincent employs. Faster than predator rips prey, Alastor uncovers truths about him Vincent hadn’t even known existed. Vincent's in trouble. Yet, he cannot stay away.
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or: Alastor visits NYC for unspecified business, and Vincent, an aspiring TV star and killer, is caught between desire for success and finding his own self. Desperate, he bends his career as control slowly slips through his fingers. Murder, obsession and unconventional romance ensue.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 182,112
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Comments:
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- 497
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Bookmarked by Un_Ironically
15 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“But I’m afraid entertainers who are so lost in themselves tumble down fast,” Alastor mused. “You may think it’s just about being seen. But I’ll tell you, the moment you walk on stage and you focus only on yourself, the audience will feel it. They’ll know they’re talked at, not talked to.”
“It’s not you who’s supposed to be the sole center of attention,” Alastor continued. “People turn to entertainers when they need to feel something. When they need to smile but there’s no one around. Only once you ensure your audience feels taken care of and seen do you build devotion. And then they’ll trust you.”
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“So, what I’m getting is: even something as unassuming as liquor choice is part of the performance to you, Vincent?”“If you were to order something you truly want, what would it be?”
“…I don’t know.” He flung his gaze up to the plethora of bottles perched on the wall. “Martini?”
He looked at Alastor, who cocked his head to the side.
Vincent corrected himself quickly, “Old-fashioned.”
“I asked what you would like to get. Not what you think I would like you to get.”
“Then let me have that Martini.”
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“Feels like the sunniest day when his attention’s on ya, right? But then—” she dropped her hands, “—then it’s real cold when it goes away.”She shrugged. “And it always does.”
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Alastor still somehow becomes a mentor figure for Vincent -
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Alastor's drink gets spiked, Mimzy takes care of him.
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“I'm afraid I have a bit of a confession to make, my dear.”
Alastor’s grin had taken on a distinctly predatory nature. His normally soft, doe eyes had sharpened in a way that made the hair on the back of Vincent’s neck raise and his pulse hammer. He knew that look. He was intimately familiar with the eyes of a killer. “You- wait, you fucking tricked me.”
“Obviously, baby.”
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Vincent is the 40 year old producer and CEO of V Entertainment. Is it kind of creepy that he's planning on sleeping with their 25 year old intern? Maybe, but he clearly wants it, with the way he shudders every time Vincent touches his shoulders and the way the kid keeps staring at his neck like he wants to lick it.One can only be an eternally unaging radio host for so long without raising suspicion. Alastor is a 75 year old vampire who takes an internship at V Entertainment, and is absolutely planning on killing his lecherous boss.
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Vincent thinks he is flirting. He is actually a major fucking creep. Unfortunately for Alastor’s plans, he is a major creep who is excellent with his mouth.Loosely ‘modern’ vampire AU. Late 90s Nokia cellphone era modern.
Bookmarked by Un_Ironically
14 Jul 2026
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Hell has given Alastor the opportunity to transition like he nevr could in life. However it comes with some hormonal issues he rather not deal with, but that Mimzy is all to happy to take advantage of.
Bookmarked by Un_Ironically
11 Jul 2026
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Where Alastor receives a letter from Heaven, relearns French, gives advice to an exorcist, visits Earth and puts his hooves in cold water.
Vox just doesn't want his soul being torn to shreds, but it's not a story about that anyway.“Yu’can’ave my body if you’d like. If you… if you want. Not today! ‘m drunk today. ‘know tastes baaaad. Sorry for drunk. Tommor…morrow? Can have. If. If! If you let me stay. Yeah?”
Slowburn radiostatic + Alastor reuniting with his mom (no redemption). Alastor is sex-repulsed, and Vox learns new things about himself during whatever this is.