VGwritesalot
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Ministry Directive 32
To ensure moving past any and all lingering Blood-purity views, all Pureblood wizards and witches are henceforth forbidden from marrying other Purebloods.
Unmarried Purebloods who have aided, abetted and otherwise were tied to the Death Eater movement, are furthermore obliged to, without exception (unless it involves Directive 24), marry a Muggleborn. They have one year to find adequate spouses. Non-compliance with Directive 32 will result in a fine of 150.000 Galleons and 5 years’ incarceration in Azkaban.
***
“I understand.” Lucius Malfoy folded his hands on his cane and sat straighter. “As you may have noticed, Directive 32 has some of my former associates in a bit of a tizzy.”
Hermione snorted before she could help herself. Lucius blinked at her as if she had spat on the floor. “Apologies, please continue,” she said.
“Ah, well… I have come to you with an opportunity. As I have been told, you receive dozens of proposals a day. In person as well as in the form of letters. Were you to agree to my proposition, that would all go away.”
“And what exactly are you asking of me, Mister Malfoy?”
“In short, to marry my son and thus keeping him out of Azkaban.” -
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" Even before starting I.M.P, Blitzø got to be the (literal) top dog in his relationships. Whether it was a succubitch or a baphomet, Blitzø called the shots in the bedroom. And he was never much good at relationships in any other room, so that was all that mattered. Even on the rare occasions he had a dick plowing his tight, red hole, Blitzø was still the one barking orders. It's what he likes.
So obviously, Stolas is fucking perfect. The biggest bottom in the seven rings - more than even that spider freak - and totally obsessed with Blitzø from day one. Not that Blitzø had realised back then, but no time like the present. Stolas loves giving up control and taking orders, and Blitzø could always offer that.
And now…
Well, he's been feeling like a bit of a perverted asshole, because Stolas is living on his ratty sofa and slumming it as his secretary when his previous career had literally been blue-blooded bastard. And that would all be terrible on its own, but Blitzø is kind of, sort of, maybe, getting off on it. "
Bookmarked by VGwritesalot
16 May 2026
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Blitz, I can’t accept this.
yeh well ur goin 2
What could I possibly need a phone for? The only person I am trying to reach won’t even answer my calls.
wow well ok fuk u too i gues
maybee idk use it to txt ur fukin boyfrend?????Is that what we’re calling it now?
sur
How romantic.
tats me baybee
mistr grand fukin roamnticSorry I can’t respond I’m too busy 💕swooning 💕
yeh wel u bettr pik ur sexi fethers asss up off the floor and explane wtf dis grosery list is
i cant find any off dis shit--
Picking up after the events of Sinsmas, told through a series of Reddit posts, text messages, and various other online media from different characters. Also there are illustrations because why the fuck not.
Series
- Part 1 of CosmicBird is online
Bookmarked by VGwritesalot
22 Apr 2026
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Set post-Sinsmas :
The bird goes to therapy. Things sure do happen!
Series
- Part 6 of Hella Therapyverse
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When Mama's health declined too much to be continue moving place to place with the circus, Blitz and Barbie moved into an apartment with her in Lust where the humidity helped her lungs. And things go okay for a few years--well, they scrape by--until they night they are kidnapped and sold to the Palace as servants. (Yup, it's an AU inspired by Apothecary Diaries)
Unable to escape the high walls, Blitz resigns himself to serving his time and trying to find Barbie who seems to have vanished. There's also rumors that the reclusive prince (who has fathered no heirs) doesn't just have two consorts (Stella and Verosika) but a secret third one. A lower class child. And Blitz cannot help but be a little fucking curious.