actonia
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He’s right there. Tall, tanned, handsome. He’s filled out more since Jake last saw him, biceps thick against his black tee. A silver chain glints around his neck, where damp strands of black hair curl at the nape.
“Jake.”
“Heeseung.” Jake whispers. The air seems too quiet, he can’t even hear the ocean. Just his own heartbeat thundering in his ears. The heat isn’t bothering him, but he can feel his cheeks warming up, hot with…what? Anger, nerves, something else?
Heeseung doesn’t seem to know what to say, either. He just pulls his bags out of the trunk and shuts it with a little more force than necessary. “Good to see you.”
Twelve years ago, Jake and Heeseung made a promise. Two years ago, Heeseung broke it. Now, Jake is facing it.
Bookmarked by actonia
05 Jul 2026
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I am not asking to be happy. I have never asked for that. I am only asking to be different. Please, Lord, make me different. Make me the thing they need me to be. Remove from me this— this affliction, this error, this deviation from Your design. I do not understand why You made me this way if You did not mean for me to be this way. And if You meant for me to be this way then I do not understand why, why, why is it a sin. And if it is a sin then I am a sinner, so then forgive me but I cannot repent for something I have never done, can I, can I repent for a feeling, can a man be damned for the direction of his hunger, for the frequency of his loneliness, for wanting the wrong mouth, the wrong hands, for lying awake in the dark imagining—
He turns onto his side.
—imagining his shirt open to the second button and the skin underneath warm, and if I pressed my mouth there I would feel his pulse and it would be fast, would it be fast, would his heart beat faster if I—
Or: Park Sunghoon meets Sim Jaeyun on the Titanic.
Bookmarked by actonia
24 Jun 2026
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Wanting, Jaeyun knows, is supposed to be private.
This does not feel private at all.
He wants Sunghoon to see him. Not in the abstract, indulgent way one sees a student or a guest or someone pleasant enough to be tolerated. He wants Sunghoon to register him as specific. As someone who might be remembered after summer loosens its hold and everyone returns to their real lives.
Summer will end. Everything does.
And yet, even as he practices caution, something in him leans forward anyway, reckless and hopeful, toward the possibility of being undone.
Or: Sim Jaeyun goes to Italy to work on his thesis and instead develops a deeply inconvenient infatuation to his married host.
Bookmarked by actonia
22 Jun 2026
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“Jongseong, where did you find this wonderful young man?”
Sunghoon half expects Jay to answer honestly, but then remembers that the first time they hooked up, it was almost immediately after Sunghoon finished doing a keg stand that set a fraternity record. Actually, now he’s kind of wondering if that was why Jay dragged him upstairs in the first place – maybe he was drawn to successful men. He couldn’t blame him.
or,
In the span of one weekend, Sunghoon has to go from pretending he’s not sleeping with Jay to pretending they’re deeply in love. He regrets every decision that got him to this point.spin off of nothing counts after midnight
Series
- Part 2 of the force of our impact, the fission
Bookmarked by actonia
17 Jun 2026
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And it’s not like Sunghoon has spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about what it’d be like to date Jay. Of course not. They’re best friends. That would be weird as hell.
Or:
Sunghoon buries years worth of pining to teach Jay all he knows about gay sex. What could possibly go wrong?
Bookmarked by actonia
17 Jun 2026